Okay, now going to difficult to back track, my cold from whenever came back, as the flu, yes the real flu, not that 'man' flu thingy!

I know I went for a walk with my friend, we had a coffee in the bar right at the far end of town.... or was it the day we got chips from Franco's at Aberavon?  Not sure, that's still foggy, either way, I felt as if my cough was coming back... it was Tuesday, from last week!  On the Monday evening my bp dropped stupidly, so low with my heart rate down to only 40 beats a minute, sounds low! Its normally 48.... but that extra bit made me feel really wobbly and woosey and I couldn't talk straight for five minutes I was so light headed!

Wednesday went out during the day to get groceries etc, went into a favorite shop of mine in Fforestfach and I couldn't walk any further, had no interest, and was just so tired out and exhausted, and that night the flu came..... Whhhooooooo, it came in the night and took my mind! A high fever and crazy dreams and hallucinations!  Wednesday I slept on and off all day, totally out of it, Thursday I was awake more, but so dizzy, and that has been the same since really!

Saturday morning I was coughing so much it hurt across my chest and back, stabbing tight pains, I called the doctor, but it was either too late, or just closed, called NHSD, and spoke with someone, who spoke with someone else, then a nurse, who put me through to a paramedic, who sent another paramedic out to me!!!!  He arrived in 3 minutes, swiftly followed five minutes later by an ambulance!!!

There was me, pj's, fluffy dressing gown, no make up, pale and listless!  What a mess, from now on I am going to be like a Dallas girl, made up, dressed up, and ready for the cameras!!!  Anyway, I digress!  After some tests he wanted to send me off to hospital, so he took me, the nearest one was already full at A&E, so he took me to the next nearest, some half hour away down the M4....

I couldn't get hold of Franco, at work, no contact number.... luckily I had been able to actually get dressed, but that was it, I arrived about 12:30ish, and was released at about 4:30, I had chest xray, and bloods taken, given some strong meds for a lung infection, but nothing worse thank goodness, I felt like I was wasting all they're time, but apparently when you have heart probs you have to be careful of pneumonia and the medic thought I sounded pluristic! My friend came and picked me up, thank goodness, and got back about 6:20 I think....

Even up to this morning my head is still dizzy and woozy, but Pippa had a trip to the vets this morning, and I went out for the first time, since the jaunt on Saturday!  Took Pip out for a walk, as I hadn't given her any food and her water was gone she was running around whining for food and wondering what was going on!  So off we went bright and early, just after 7:30am!!! Ugh!  Franco picked us up about ten past eight, and off to vets on the other side of town.... we left her there for some dental treatment and picked her up about 3pm, she is now like me, dizzy and woozy!

Without her in the house earlier, it was very strange, so empty... I can't imagine her not being there at all, eight years of coming home to her welcoming barking and jumping and expecting the tickle on her tummy, and scratch behind her ears....

From childhood's hour I have not been
As others were; I have not seen
As others saw; I could not bring
My passions from a common spring.
From the same source I have not taken
My sorrow; I could not awaken
My heart to joy at the same tone;
And all I loved, I loved alone.
Then- in my childhood, in the dawn
Of a most stormy life- was drawn
From every depth of good and ill
The mystery which binds me still:
From the torrent, or the fountain,
From the red cliff of the mountain,
From the sun that round me rolled
In its autumn tint of gold,
From the lightning in the sky
As it passed me flying by,
From the thunder and the storm,
And the cloud that took the form
(When the rest of Heaven was blue)
Of a demon in my view.

Alone by Edgar Allan Poe

Source: Alone by Edgar Allan Poe, Famous Sad Poems http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/famous/poem/alone-by-edgar-allan-poe#ixzz2M7axpgpS
www.FamilyFriendPoems.com

TTFN
Marian

Went through a plethora  of photos.... these are not the first I uploaded by any means, then had to do a tonne of deleting, gone from Sea World in Benalmadina, to the mountains surrounding the Guadalhorce valley, the Grand Union canal in Berkhamsted, to the snowy mountains overlooking Coín.... but here in the end are a couple of beautiful sunsets from our roof terrace back in Spain!

Yesterday I had another headache, I need to get out more!  And did!  Walked to town to meet up with a friend and we walked back to her house, had a chat and a couple of biscuits, then off to Aberavon beach via the car wash!  We had chips from the famous Franco's fish & chip bar right on the beach, well almost!

Then back, slept for a few hours and felt a bit better, not sure why the headache, my normally high bp dropped dramatically for ten minutes the day before, and I had trouble putting my words together with hardly any blood flow! hahahaha!!!  Almost okay now!!!

Today, back to work.... hate it when I get behind, I know I'm not really, but like to be more ahead if you know what I mean, I don't seem to be making any sense today!

Lovely day again today, washing dried on the line, light when I got up, and still light at 6pm!  Spring is on its way! 

The only day this week when the weather has been bad was the day we went to Cardiff actually! It rained, it poured and the wind blew and howled!  Nightmare weather!  the train journeys were okay, but I do wish people would take down their tickets when they use the booking system, some people must just get off, and to all intents and purposes it looks like the seat it still booked, and you have to go through them, read them, and then sit.... or not!! Apart from of course, if the people didn't even use the booked seat!!! [like I did on a return journey getting an earlier train!!!] Ummm, oh well, you get my jist!

In Cardiff we went to the National Museum...

Wish this had been the weather on Wednesday!!!  Beautiful building eh!  And huge, I only managed some of the art galleries, and I think a map would have been a good idea, so many separate rooms, leading one into another, you could easily get lost, definitely a guide next time, and it won't be too long either, spectacular art, a huge amount thanks to the Davies sisters...

Had lunch in a Mexican restaurant in St Davids shopping centre, not that Franco was too impressed with his, but I had the Mexican paella, and it was great!  The options weren't great as it was late and there were queues in nearly all the other restaurants!

For some reason, although I have been there a few times I kept losing my way!!!  Went into one shop and came out onto the street by a different door and my bearings were gone, completely!  I am normally so good with directions and knowing where I am, it was strange, not helped by the fact though... that on seeing the castle Franco said, "that's not the right way!" So we turned around, then passing everything we had already seen a few times, still not going the right way!!  Ended up asking a stranger, who led us like children back into the centre and pointed the way to where the restaurants!!!

And afterwards, with my bearings back in place, I knew exactly where we were, and where we had been earlier, and the mistakes made!!!  Must have been the wind and rain, and battering by umbrellas held too low and threatening to poke my eye out!

Okay, washing up to do!

TTFN
Marian

Wow, just had an email telling me I have won 2 million pounds!  I just won't know what to do with it!  Oh woops, sent it into my spam box, heck, well there you go!!!

Snow all over the place in the UK it seems, not here, yet, I've said this so many times today I am sure to bring it here tomorrow, when Cardiff is my choice of destination for the day!  The National Museum draws me there.... never visited that one before, so here's to it!

I am still practising my dress making skills...

A fluffy sweater and a wraparound denim skirt, not looking very good yet, I keep making clothes that are either too big or too small, although sadly, I must admit, I have made more clothes for Blythe than I ever made for my boys!!!  And her poor little bare feet, in winter too! 

At this time, like the last couple of years, I have been re-reading my Blog, from when my mom, when my mom.... well, the last few months of my mom... Now, I don't want to bring everyone down, so do not visit my diary here from that time, I just really wanted to read from now, but remember when I looked that from the date mom moved into the care home, February 9th, I didn't write again until the 22nd, then after her passing, as you know the Blog runs from earlier in the month up towards the most recent, so, reader beware!  Why have I even put this here? Who knows...  Its just the first day on this page on March 2010

I am back there now, this month and next... I checked out my moms google map page, like I did every day for nearly a year afterwards too, thank goodness I got out of that!

I got another email also this morning, from the British Museum in London, where mom and I went on our trip to London and Her Majesty's Theatre,  for The Phantom of the Opera! The opener from the museum was "Hello Muriel"... we had booked a special visit and I used mom's name to do so...

I must admit too, I am a little bit concerned with the Pope stepping down, first time this has happened in over 600 years!  I know I am not a practising Catholic, one could say, but when we were there and visited a church, I know I have mentioned this before, there were circles around the walls near the ceiling, the circles were filled with Pope's heads, names with dates of birth and death beneath.... when we were there there were I think 3 empty circles, and the guide told us, that when the last circle was filled the world would end???  Well this means, that whoever becomes the next Pope, will fill the final circle!!!

And finally, for today that is!  On a TV program here in the UK on Sunday evening, I thought as I watched, that looks like the corridor in my old school, Ashlyns, in Berkhamsted.... then later in the show, they drove up the driveway.... of my old school, my sons went there too!

Call the Midwife

Couldn't believe it! Check it out if you can view it, apologies for the childbirth bits, but it is called 'Call the Midwife'!!!

A Brief Matter

Life is
Short
But death
Takes
A heartbeat

Michael Ashby

TTFN
Marian

Random purloined photo above.... a beautiful rainbow caught in the clouds during a plane flight I am guessing...

I think the reason I am working the wrong way up today is because I feel like I am having a migraine without the pain, again, did I write this the other day?  One of my symptoms of migraine, deja-vu! And my head hurts when I cough, in my left temple... I can't type without typo's by the million, and I just feel out of sync, my head is a bit swimmy, my heart beating too fast, and strange pains!!! And shaky hands!!! Blooming heck... change the subject before I faint live on my Blog....

Okay, I am a hoarder, there are a couple of things, groups of things, I just don't know what to do about, firstly my record collection, vinyl's, hundreds of singles 45's, and what are the bigger ones 33 ⅓?  Is that right?  I have 2 boxes full of those... I took them to Spain with me, and have brought them back, I haven't had a record player since.... er.... 1998!  That's fifteen years of carrying them with me, moved house five times and countries twice! I can't sell them before you suggest it, they smell damp from being stored in the cave, back in Spain, they are still looking okay... but that's about it!  I don't think there are any rare valuable items there, my Dark Side of the Moon album has seen better days, and the poster seems to have gone, although the huge amount of blue tack that used to hold it on the walls with a load of sticky tape, had long since ruined the corners before it finally disappeared altogether, if only I had known it would be valuable one day all intact!  There is one single someone once offered me £40 for... can't remember which one, must check it out, although I do know the cover has gone now!!

I managed to get rid of my tapes a few years ago, yes yes I know, why keep them!  But these records are my life's theme tune - from the first one, Don McLean's American Pie, and Vincent the second record I bought... think it was about 1985 I started buying cd's over vinyl... Anyway mis amigos!  Keep or throw?? I have seen some strange things made with old vinyls, wine racks, cake stands, my brain says "dump" my heart says "keep" my my whatever says "make something out of them!"???? 

Then the other stupid thing I have are a collection of magazines, 'The Story of Pop', from the 70's, I think I might have the full collection!!!! Along with the papery magazine that came out I think twice a month, that had the words for the records in the British music charts, and a few reviews etc, I have about a 100... a lot of those too!  This would be okay to sell, but they have been kept in so many various places, from sheds to the cave they are mostly in an awful condition, even some mice have had a go at them!!

Do I just throw these away?  Sell the good ones?? Seems they're not totally forgotten, having just googled them, and some of the History of Rock are on ebay!  Maybe I should check it out, throw away the real bad ones, and sell the good ones, nothing to lose, and space to gain!

Okay now I have caught up with where I started from[?] and feeling a bit off kilter so posting this now!


I am writing this backwards, well sort of, started with the poem at the end, and the TTFN, then working my way up the page!  Bit like when I read a magazine, I sometimes have the habit of starting at the back and working my way to the front cover!!

Doctors this morning!  bp taken, my blood is still rushing through my veins...!  It started off really high, and came down to just high, bit concerned as she had me talking while the second two bp readings were being taken, and I believe that can make a difference to the reading, she said of the last lowest reading, well that's the one we will note on the record!!  So, I am confused! As normal!  Don't know how long I have to wait for the blood test results from Tuesday...

The night is darkening round me,
The wild winds coldly blow;
But a tyrant spell has bound me,
And I cannot, cannot go.

The giant trees are bending
Their bare boughs weighed with snow;
The storm is fast descending,
And yet I cannot go. 

Clouds beyond clouds above me,
Wastes beyond wastes below ;
But nothing drear can move me :
I will not, cannot go.

Emily Bronte

TTFN
Marian

Florence, time to go back there....

Sunday afternoon went out for a great long walk with my crazy friend, well, I guess we're both crazy, so walking along laughing till we cry, looking and crossing roads in one full swoop, we went to cross one street, saw there was a car with VIP, in, so waited, not wishing to do wrong... a guy crossed without waiting, so we did too, laughing all the way, quite expected to get a warning for mis use of a crossing... but no! I guess we knew we did wrong... ;-)

I had had a headache coming on all morning, so the walk did me good, although later on the headache came back, and on Monday it came back much much worse, Sunday and Monday both, I felt like I was having a migraine without an actual migraine, spinning head, vision blurred, dyslexic writing, and overall, weirdness!!!

But to other matters..... hold on, this will be a rough ride amigos! WARNING!!!!

Last night I had no sleep... Well it seemed that way most of the night!  Franco had been in bed all day with his cold, and lots of hot lemon medicine drinks, you know the ones!!  So he got up about 9pm, and after Mrs B's Boys I went up! Pippa came with me to keep my feet warm!  A cup of tea, my kindle fire, music on, while playing games... and I did so for the next two hours!  The wind was howling, rattling the mail box and hurtling things down the street[?].

And I thought, just after midnight....'well better get to sleep, early alarm for early hospital visit'... so kindle off, on charge, mobile phone on charge.... could I sleep??? No way Jose!

First there was the light from the kindle charger... it is a small green light on the charger itself, but it made a bright white light on the ceiling, a light that filled the whole ceiling in that corner of the room, big, 6 foot from edge to edge at least... it had what looked like circles in its interior going in what looked like a vortex!  Therefore, for me, tired, and all gamed out, it looked like the tunnel of bright white light those near death experience people talk off, 3D, and seemed to be turning, what an imagination I have, [I hear ya!].  Luckily I couldn't see anyone at the end of the tunnel waving at me, or telling me to go back!  And yes, yes, I did look!!!  I even in my tiredness started making shadow puppets on the ceiling, massive birds, dogs and the funny looking gnarled man face thing I can do with my hands!!

Then... there was that blooming mail box still flapping, it sounded like there was a visitor knocking who didn't really want to come in... just knock and run, but too late for kids, so I guess it was ghouls???

And the walk in the garden with Pippa before all this started, up we went with the torch, the battery only just giving off  the light of an old yellowed candle... Pip and I went up the stairs from the back yard, through the gate with the broken bolt, [note to self, must fix it today!], made it up the dodgy flag stones, up the next flight of stairs to the top patio, now level almost, with the apex of the roof of the house, so steep the garden... and up there the wind was at its best! The dark sky, skittish clouds revealing beautiful bright stars in the blackness beyond... hint of moon light... and noises!  The forest AKA jungle, full of creaking, the palm tree making disturbing creepy palm tree noises! Pippa was just fixated... she was up on her hind legs and staring into the forest, ears primed, eyes wide, I strained to see what she thought might be there!!! A fox? a squirrel? a monster!!! I said "come on Pip - in" and she was past me and down the two flights of stairs!  I had to hold onto the washing line, so I wouldn't fall over [again], at the top of stairs I paused, just long enough for my imagination to almost land  a Stephen King type characters' icy cold hand on my shoulder, or to whisper in my ear! Pippa must have been proper frit, because she was actually clawing at the back door to get in!

At about 2am I decided if I didn't go to the loo, that cup of tea!!! I would never sleep, so I had to run the gauntlet, down the stairs, past that rattling front door... [who was there???], and the back door.... ARH!  But once back in bed, I felt so much better, especially as I also unplugged the kindle, no tunnel of light to fall into by mistake! And even the mail box gave up the ghost!

I changed the alarm on my phone, the old one just doesn't make me want to get up anymore, if that can make sense, up by 7am and out of the house by 8am... down to the hospital, there were already about a dozen people ahead of me, before the phlebotomist's started business! So not out until nearly 9am... then at last I could eat and drink, it being what 'they' call a fasting blood test and I  call a starvation blood test!

TTFN
Marian