petrol station!!!

Some pics today from a trip to Aberavon beach this afternoon.... beautiful day, caught the suns rays nicely above.... men were far out picking lug worms!!!??? Don't ask, either you know or I don't!!!

Franco rode his bike to work last Saturday, so Pip and I were here at the beach at 7:30am!!!  She thought Franco was sat in the car outside the house when he left... so wouldn't go back to sleep!!  I gave up, got up, did all the usual stuff and off we went!

Later on in the day, taking advantage of the car, I drove to Swansea and the Wyevale garden centre, had a lovely walk around, sunny day, checked out all the beautiful plants, bought some herbs.... rosemary, thyme and sage.... still have to plant them out, got some pots yesterday and some mud!!!  They have so many wonderful things there, must go back for all the rest!

Sunday.... had a migraine!  All day, did get up and have breakfast, but deteriorated over the day, and eventually felt better about 10pm!!! So that was GREAT!

The end of the promenade, looking up-towards the Ferry's beach!  Nice having a personal beach, lots of people, as I have said before, who live here, didn't know of its existance!!

Doctors appointment yesterday, just BP check, and told to come back in for a recheck on a blood test from the other month!!  Had a giggle going in, a gentleman held the door open for me.... I turned and said 'thank you'.... re replied, 'no problem baby-doll'!!!  Baby-doll, that might be the last time I am called that I guess, so I am not arguing about it!!! Bless him!!!

He wasn't there today by the way.... and instead of a giggle I was at the gas station on my way back from the doctors, the fuel tank was empty, again?  Who knows where that diesel goes???  So, fuelled up, went in.... card wouldn't work???  Worked fine yesterday, checked with the cash point outside, that wouldn't work either... the man at the till said it was the fourth card that morning that hadn't worked, and all the same bank!!!  Got home checked my account which was fine by the way.... and on the way to the beach popped in and paid the man!!!  Had to fill out a form in there... terrible!!! But it looked like I was doing a stock check on their wine supplies from where I stood, mortifying?... well actually, didn't really phase me, I guess if I actually hadn't got any money in my account then I would have been!

I've been working on a book for a friend too, which has been great, really gets my mind active, only trouble is I get so focused on it, time flies by; her book is massive, nearly 400 pages, and well over 80 thousand words, I haven't worked on such a big book, no editing, so I get to read first and last lines as I go along, I am wondering if that's how my mom was such a speedly reader!!... I keep pushing Peter for his next book... he won't get the authors cut if he doesn't sort it out!  Maybe I can make a start on it and put out half the book....???

Today, after our walk, stopped and had a café latté of course, Pippa had time to take in the smells, lots of people, lots of dogs, still no snow here.... was a flurry or two yesterday, not sure where it came from, a few clouds today, but nothing yesterday!

Finally me... in a facebook page pose!!  With Pip, of course!

TTFN

Marian

Added a small video here..... on the right, child of the 70's.... will leave it there a while, or move it down a ways later on, great short movie.... I remember I remember.....

TTFN
Marian

Forgotten Victims

How can one sit and weep
For a life now gone, passed by
How can one cope, with pain
If tears that once fell, are now dry
How can one look in the mirror
And not see the child I hide
How can one cope, with living
While the torment still grows inside
How can one look at the children
And not see me in them
How can I stop them becoming
Another forgotten victim
I bare these wounds of yesterday
They bleed deep in my mind
Their scars will be here tomorrow
Not for others to see, they are blind
The crime is now dead and long buried
My childhood, consumed, and now gone
The guilty roam free, unrepentant
No remorse, for what they'd done wrong
And I cannot live, or stay living
And a river of tears, I still cry
Just one more forgotten victim
I'll remain, til the day that i die.

Written by LJBush

Another work from Lorraine... she has one book out so far The Double Edged Sword ... another two in the pipeline...

Today we have been busy, hit all the Swansea retail parks, I was in a shopping frenzy, amazing how much money you can spend with your mind without even opening your wallet!!  Can't get over the amount of people always buying in these stores, and not always with their [in]flexible friends!  Lots of notes flying about! 

When we came back to the car, a note was on the windscreen and straight away I knew someone had hit the car... they had, knocked off the wing mirror, well door mirror, you know what I mean!! So great, phone number on the piece of paper, "sorry blah blah blah"... well good thing the mirror popped back where it should  have been with a bit of extra help from a screw driver.... because the phone number was a dud!  Not sure what sort of idiot thought went through the persons mind, should have just left nothing if the number wasn't going to work, maybe they just did it for effect, of others passing by to see.... and say... "ah, that's good, they have left their number...." hahahahaha!!  Well, what goes around comes around?  I noticed their forethought too with the slip of paper they used, it was a receipt but they removed they're card details etc, not sure how I could have traced them with it, but who knows.....

Been a glorious day here today, blue skies, sunshine, still burning now, but low, slowing setting over Swansea!  Was beautiful yesterday too, washing dried on the line etc, open doors and windows...

Now, hold onto your hats[!] well maybe eh!  I visited a hairdressers!!!! The second one in a matter of days!!! OMG!!!  I am going to get my hair colored properly... its all sorts of colors at the moment, I haven't used the same color, or brand for months, my hair grows so fast it needs doing every 3 or 4 weeks max!  So, I thought, get it done by a professional, especially as it has got into such a mess with colors!  Today they put three different color tests behind my ears to test for reaction... and are calling me back to see what happened to the samples I left behind!!! Yes, she cut my hair... of course you can see exactly where she took it from.... not, but I can still feel its loss..... I am not getting it cut, I shudder at the thought of those scissors coming anywhere near me.... its bad enough going into a hairdressers, no one has ever seen hair like mine!!!!  I think I should go to Italy and have my hair looked after, over there?  What do you think!!!

TTFN

Marian

I Win
Run away, nowhere to hide
Captured by my fear inside
Eats me up, both day and night
Fills my head, with childish fright
Turn my back on how I feel
Can't tell fantasy from real
Focus hard, on this cold brick wall
couldn't take another fall.
Dare not give, or ever take
Live a life that's almost fake
I never let them in my head
Although they may get in my bed
Reveal nothing, I don't need
Cast the ever doubting seed
Play their mind games, they can't win
Keep my answers safe within
so you all get bored, and fly away
And I'd have won for one more day

Written by LJBush

[Thank you for letting me publish this Lorraine.]

Mothers Day

Happy Mothers Day to all you gals out there....

False happiness in that cheery sentence up there, my mom gave me a small book September 2007, I know it was then by the date mom wrote inside, as she always did when she gave a book...

I wanted to find a poem to write in here today from it, as I have in the past, but this morning in the above page... there was a 3 leaf clover?  "Thank you for the chance to rediscover the world" by Pamela Dugdale

I know I didn't put it there... it also reminds me of the St Patrick's Day three leaved shamrock - so me being me, I am taking it as my mom saying 'hello' today, especially on Mothers Day, [St Patrick's Day being the day of mom's service, and a special day of hers and my dads].

Quiet day here today, Baz was coming down to visit but came down instead with the awful virus I have had, I made him extra happy telling him I am into my sixth week of coughing now!  What was worse really was he lost his train fare... and I got a lovely card from Tony with a cup cake on the front that looked so good I could almost eat the card itself!!!

..... Phone just rung.... it was Tony, who I was just writing about!  Spooky eh....

Well, that's it, going to phone some other mom's now.... try and stay sane, and do some pottering!

Here's another poem from my book, from my mom....

Walk gently my daughter

Through life's joys, songs and triumphs.

For my love will be there in your heart.

Walk gently my daughter

Through life's sorrows, pains and woes...

Walk gently my daughter

Through all life's great mysteries.

For my love will be there in your heart.

Linda Macfarlane 

TTFN
Marian

Mom “To live in hearts we leave behind is not to die.” ― Thomas Campbell

I can't get on with my work today until I have written some of my heart out...

Three years ago today my mom passed on, I can't believe it,  three years, I still thank god for all of you here and your constant friendship, words of kindness, words of compassion....

Mom would say, how is everyone who reads your Blog, or who said what on Twitter! 

I just said to my son that I wish I could go back to today, three years ago, just to have one more day; I suppose that sounds sad, bad, wrong, I should be saying, one more day when she was well of course, but I want that day, first days and last days, she was with me on my first day, of course!!! and I was with her on her last, never enough words spoken, never enough love given, we can always feel we could have given more, we can, only when we're alive of course.... I just want to go back to up there.... when mom and I were in New York, or walking around town would be just as good, her pointing out a dress or clothing of some sort, which was something so not me!  Or me telling her "no pleats mom please!" for her!!!  I guess the perfect day would be the one beneath!  My first birthday, but that's just silly, nothing would, or could change, and down the line, I would be saying the same thing again, because life is like that...

I want to pick up the phone and hear her voice, I want her to phone me at odd hours of the day or night for a crossword answer.... or for either of us to say what's on TV, or coming on TV.... yes its all about me isn't it.... The last day she could speak she said she couldn't go, because I still needed her.... she was right....

I Am Not Gone
    I am not gone
          While you cry with me
    I am not gone
         While you smile with me
    I am not gone
         While you remember with me

    I will come
        When you call my name
    I will come
        When I feel your pain
    I will come
        On your final day

    It could never be
        That we
              Would never be

    We shall always
         Be together
             Forever

    I am not gone
    Michael Ashby

TTFN
Marian