Sunday, February 20, 2011

The snow globe Mom and I were in... I wish I had had this shot with us in it from this distance, the photo I have of us close up is lovely, but I can remember us in here, above, jumping about throwing the snow, the up air draft thingys making the snow fly about as we did so... throwing handfuls of the stuff in the air...

We had such a great time, a fantastic memory, we followed this with a trip on the merry go round! I dragged Mom onto and inside the Cinderella carriage... It wasn't very comfy, but we waved at all the faces watching us go round!

Just saying to a friend whose Mom passed away four months ago... 'time is a great healer' isn't working for me, a week on Friday a year... I feel as wretched as the day... that day.

The wound is still open, and raw, and I ceaselessly pick away at it, I can't stop, and I don't want to stop. The week, the last day especially, the hug..... the tears, not mine, but seemed to be hers at the end...

Coming up the new road on Friday in the rental car, the first time I have driven the road myself, I said aloud "hey Mom, what do you think of the new road? Isn't it brilliant! make a wish!" I mean really... am I crazy or what? No don't answer that please... Although not sure which was worse, that I was talking aloud in the car to Mom, or that I told her to make a wish!!! We did that, you see, somewhere new, we made a wish....

Then on Saturday, after coming down the road with a friend I said "when Mom and I came up here yesterday......" then I realised what I had said! By her face mostly! I had so felt she was with me in the car!

This morning I was at La Trocha market and stopped at a bric-a-brac stall, there amongst the treasures[????] were two hand painted plates, two girls names, dates and places of birth, one in Chichester, one in Malaga, both early 80's, both had middle names of Muriel... Mom's name.... How strange, we could never find her names of anything, hard enough finding mine, especially spelled correctly, but never Muriel... And just now on a tv movie they were playing New York, New York... I guess the 'signs' I see everywhere, will be many and varied, over the next 11 days...

I better go now, I am not helping myself here, nor am I making anyone laugh... I don't feel very funny....

TTFN
Marian

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