It would have been Francos 60th birthday today...

I still don't understand, still can't comprehend... still cannot except the reality of him dying...

I just listened to him tell me he loves me on a message he gave me...

...and I feel such a loss my heart bleeds tears;


I'm not at home, I wouldn't have survived this week at home, but I am missing our Pipster, I feel guilty leaving her in the doggie hotel, she shouldn't be there, she should be at home with us...

I'm at Tony and Kates in England, wishing I could turn back time, and change something, do something, anything that could have helped or stopped what happened to Franco.

I'm just so sad. Franco made me happy, all the time, he was my happiness, he made me smile every day, told me everything would be okay... Until he told me last November that it wouldn't be.

He told me to sit down, told me what he had been told, and that I had to be strong...