Today's mindfulness tip on my phone read: 'Be a spectator of what goes on in your mind.'

Which makes sense, watch what goes on there, I don't have to listen to it all and take part, I don't have to let it lead me, or upset me or push hither and thither... Like this morning, my mind raced immediately as it does at random times during the day, and the awful times in the night of my fur-baby and you would not want to know what happens in my mind then, what awful thoughts and emotions take me over. I can't write them. I probably actually never will be able to tell you.

So! Moving on swiftly to this past night! I was so tired and went to sleep quickly, then woke up about only twenty minutes later, at only eleven!! My foot was aching, well my heel... I must have mentioned my sore heel over the past few years? It just aches when I am laying down, not walking.. anyhows its been more painful the past few weeks, so I had already taken paracetamol for it and it hadn't kicked in, haha.. no pun intended! I must have gone to sleep because I awoke again before one am... and in agony with it, I just could not find a way to lay my leg or foot which didn't aggravate the pain; I saw two am, and then fell asleep somehow... but at three am I got called by the lady I am supporting, and was with her for about a quarter of an hour, and apart from the heart banging thing that happens when called by someone, the pain was worse in my heel... I took more paracetamol and tried again to sleep.  When the alarm went off at 7am I was shot... I am so tired, my heel still hurts and I am sitting down with no pressure on it at all at the moment,  I must have googled this problem, this pain a hundred times, but for the first time Achilles came up, and seems to answer most of the questions I have over it... although if it is and I have been suffering with it for so long, I should have had it seen to by now! Which could be why the pain is now so bad.

I have enough trouble sleeping at night now, with insomnia, those damn thoughts in my head from night till dawn... and pain in my foot is the icing on the cake!

I used to sleep well, I woke often, just turned and fell straight back to sleep, that was me, I could wake up twenty times but always fell immediately back to asleep, my mind free of worries.. always been a few aches and pains with some of the crapola I have, but they didn't bother me. Is this the true reason that people sleep less when they get older!! For godsake I am not there yet!!!

The lady I am with now, one of her great sayings is 'Old age doesn't come alone' she says it with a deep drawn out voice to accentuate the words, how very true this is!! Lol (If you are going to try to say this, think the old voice tape we have all heard "London calling" "London calling"... from WW2.

How very true those words are though...

This was the thought I awoke with this morning, I had switched off my 7am alarm and was waiting for the 7:30 I had quickly added, to give me a few extra minutes if I could.. but I had this thought and woke up properly, 7:10 and was out of bed feeling a little bit better... sans my body! Lol

'Think very carefully about the people we have become, reach your hand back to that younger self...'

Maybe I didn't finish my thought, maybe that's up to you... maybe that is just it...

Me, about thirteen... Who was I then? Lol not much smaller, actually still the same size I think! Lol.. but in my head? I guess I wasn't me yet...