Song.. Part of me...

Just watching an old favorite of mine, Thelma and Louise! Hope I'm not repeating myself for the upteenth time..

Love all the songs from this movie, great soundtrack.. great driving music...

Ballard of Lucy Jordan.. at the age of 37... I was younger than that the first time I saw that movie, heard that song.. crazy! Now I'm more than twenty years past it!!

That was yesterday.
Now it's today, left the placement..

And today.. I feel sad through to my bones.
Four years ago I died.. yes, I think I did, or some part of me did.. I've been reading my blog from four years ago, I know I shouldn't, it's the first time.. I shouldn't have done it, read it from November.. from diagnosis..

Wasn't a good idea, but I felt sad, and sitting on the trains today; and seeing the cars in the dark early this morning.. lights blazing dark roads rain.. made me feel very lost, and so on the train to Bristol I read my words..

Now I'm sat on a bed in another hotel, about to travel home again, before travelling again..

Should be feeling something else.

Litteraly just spoken with number two son and his girl, saw them also sitting on a hotel bed, but in New York City...

That's where I want to be! Lol right now.. back there, scattering the rest of my mom and just being there..

I have written half a dozen lines here, none of which I can publish without giving myself up.

For all the words I write I wonder if I am saying nothing.

Hopefully tomorrow, I will have dug myself up and out of the dark place I am in today.

Sorry friends. Not sure why I am like this, now, still..

M

My placement is nearing it's close; been a really good week.

Had a furry visitor occasionally as I slept, looks like my Pip...

Above a photograph of a print in the hotel before I arrived here.

I miss New York whenever I am away from her, which of course is 99.9% of the time! Lol

But when I took this I caught myself in the glass from the adjoining ensuite shower room..

I've mucked around with it..

Sorry! I have been artistic I mean!!
Looks a bit James Bond! But I'm wearing jeans and a sweater!

I keep finding myself gazing away long distance.. not so much out of a window, but that thing we all do when we travel in our minds I suppose.. (we do all do that don't we!!)

I can travel thousands of miles in a nano second.. in time and space!

If only it were that easy.. time, travel and life.

TTFN
Marian

For train WiFi!

So here's what i wrote yesterday..

So, in the plane, headed to Bristol from Malaga.  Sun's coming up, dark almost on leaving, beautiful sunrise through the right-hand window near me...

I am off to work, near Evesham, weather report says snow at Bristol airport this morning!! Flooding in Worcestershire.. So let's see what happens!

I am staying at an airport hotel for the night, long day and night, so hope the foods good, I am already hungry, my 4am porridge seems a long time ago, coffee is on its way up the aisle now, I can smell it!

I travel to the placement in the morning, a new one, near to a placement I've been to before, so will be great on familiar ground.

Reading a book, it's fiction, but even in fiction good sense can shine through. 'She has just decided planning is a great idea' and so it is.. Plans need to be afoot me thinks.

Last evening I caught a small amount of the British Children in Need campaign. Brave amazing kids, brave for themselves, brave for others, I always cry.. and help when I can.

One boy, born with cerebral palsy, autism and something more... He said, he'd been bullied, attacked.. awful. He's such a strong young man now, amazing.

He said he knows he's different, something about how we all are..

Most importantly he said he doesn't have to fit in.. We're not supposed to.

Truth...

It's not 8:30,  and I have my coffee and chocolate! A Twix, already, chocolate so early!  Okay, back to my book, the man next to me is snoring!

Paragraphs from the book.
“I can see that you’re hurting. That your life hasn’t turned out like you thought it would… but guess what? No one’s life does"

Pain was a given, she’d just realized. And sometimes, you just needed to give into it—no matter what form it showed up in.

“I think pretending that you don’t care, that you’re so open, is also a way of remaining closed.”
This paragraph above, not the pretending I don't care, but the rest.. It that me? Recently someone told me that, is it that? I know, we know! I have no trouble talking.. But maybe just talking can't help the scrambled mess in my head.

Okay, today now! On my train.. Will write when I can amigos...

TTFN
Marian

It's a gray old day right now at Bristol Temple Meads train station..

I am early for my train, of course, I stayed last night.. and most of the day at an airport hotel, and a very nice one it was too! The Hilton.  Nice room, had a good dinner.. maybe too much unfortunately, but having had breakfast at 4am, a wrap at about 11am, I was starving, therefore over ate!!

Had a venison and bacon pie, mash and peas.. followed by apple and blackberry crumble and custard.

My stomach is still telling me I am too full, but I had to have my porridge this morning, I'll be hitting the road running, as they say as soon as I get to work around noon..

Seems I haven't landed in Bristol and taken the bus since at least last October? Apart from the new bus, the whole journey was much improved. Without wishing to dis Bristol, because I actually always say how great Bristol now is! The centre the galleries etc etc.. the journey by bus had been awful, the worse visual journey.

But now it's great! Like a whirlwind extravaganza! Lols... I actually wanted to get off at each stop to look around and take photographs!!

And now I know, if I stay again that long at the airport, and if I haven't been awake since 4am after about 3hrs sleep.. I just might very well take the bus in and back out again! Well worth the ride!

I have jotted down notes on my Kindle, was going to wait and add to here, but not sure when I'll have the opportunity so posting this now.

Should have done that last night but was so tired.. I forgot!

TTFN
Marian

This morning down at Torremolinos, dark skies, parakeets...

Feels like a Sunday!

Probably never get used to seeing parakeets just flying around here, or perched on trees..

This was for me, quite unusual seeing so many just walking around on the ground!

Still they keep the beach looking good, even in the winter months...

TTFN
Marian

Strange quote maybe, especially for today, but it is what it is.

It is three years ago today, now...

That Franco met me on the steps of the hospital in Malága to tell me the awful results of the tests, and after nearly three years of pain.. to learn of the why.

Feels like yesterday the memory is so strong.

Saying no more for today, it won't help.
TTFN
Marian

Catching up.. on my lap top too! Need to practice my typing apparently, and of course need to use my spelling abilities more... or maybe not!!

Above is actually a photograph taken two years ago in Ronda! My buddy caught me just right!! Lol my head peaking out over the wall!!

Above Benidorm, this view fascinated me on the way up Spain towards France, and likewise on the return journey... It is like a US city, with old Spain either side, sort of magical and amazing city scape appearing.. suddenly out of nowhere, seen from a distance its like nothing you can imagine being in Spain! Strange too, because I don't kind of think about going to Benidorm as a destination for staying in, but seeing it from perspective, I think I would really find it amazing photography from down in those streets! Do you think??

Above and below photographs taken in Javea... Visited friends I have known for over thirty seven years near here... Time moves frightenly fast it seems these days... Weeks and months creep by until they blur and become years... Years un-reclaimable and gone as if with a blink of the eye...

If only we knew then what we know now...

Had great but far to fast visit and after what must be about nine years felt like no time at all apart, like all good friendships... Can't leave it nine years ago though, because... because it would just be stupid to do so!

Amazing coastal views...

These two photographs taken back in Peníscola

I had a very memorable visit to a hair dressers! Something I can probably count of two hands as somewhere I have visited in my whole life... Mmm okay maybe two hands and one foot now!!

Always given a coffee or some hot beverage offering.. but not at this one, it was late on in the afternoon, my appointed time had been changed because of an electric issue... well, Spain eh!

Whilst having my hair colored... phew, no scissors involved! I was offered and received gladly a glass of cava, (Spanish own type of bubbly!), he who was making my hair a beautiful color, and I, shared the bottle of cava!

He said once my hair was rinsed through... 'had I every had my hair straightened?' Erm... nope, no, never, thank you very much!!

So of course thats what I let him do! Straighten my hair!!! OMG!!! First he straightened it, then he curled it, well, made waves of it!

It did look good, just felt not me... my curls have defined me now I guess, after all these years... But, I have to admit, was nice to have had it done, a once in a lifetime thing I guess, unexpected... Like getting tipsy in a hairdressers!

     

Roughly translated: The day I understood that the only thing I am going to take is what I live, I started living what I want to take.

TTFN
Marian