Just looking through photographs to send something, a reminder of drinks up the Duff; and came across this face.. just loaded to Facebook actually.. as seeing her here on my phone gripped my heart so tightly..  my breathe caught..

Wish I could go back to then, to the Duff, the coffee and long deep conversations.. then get in our cars and drive home.. to what was, although I know things that have happened since along our paths we can't change, and however we got here, some good has come, happy things, beautiful moments.. things we also wouldn't want to change ... There has been, and continues to be pain.

But just some time, just a little.. of what was... Would be both amazing and the worse heartbreak again..

I know we can't, shouldn't look back, should only focus on the here and now and make every moment count.. 

But I've always looked the wrong way.. one day I'll be doing that and get hit by an elephant! 

Or life...

M.