And today we have sand again! Another sand cloud! Car looks like I have driven the Dakar Rally!

Also my house has locked me out again, not in yet!

By chance, fluke.. saw a jewel beetle pop up on a pop-up.. 

It was little though, just a couple of centimetres, not like the 4/5cms gorgeous bug that I had on my back five years ago up in Ronda, in the photograph... before a waiter gleefully killed it right in front of my friend and I, to our horror! But now I read he is a destructor!  This one too big to be the ash tree killer! But he's still a borer! 

So beautiful, so deadly, so still a killer of trees and trees we need for our planet.. 

Yesterday a trip to Malága.. and Colacao.. this came after.. the coffee and Dime cake in Ikea! 

Now, need to gain access to my house, and give it a damn good telling off!

M.

Today's weather: Mostly sand will fall

The world here is covered in sand..

It's hanging low over us, the Sierra de Mijas behind and the Guadalhorce Valley beneath..

The streets and pavements and everything on them, covered by red sand..

Come to town for groceries and coffee at Bar Cruz.. yesterday was rain, torrential, rained in my living room and down beneath in my dining room, it rained in my back patio.. and a stream formed in the cave! 

It did stop and I made a break for freedom to a friend's then we had a quick walk to town and back.

Okay, enough already of the sand..

It's not a phenomenon and it isn't an Egyptian mummy's curse!

It's weather! And today is just a yellowy sandy colored day.. reminding us that one day this Spain of ours will also be a dessert.. 

M.

This too will pass..

Everything we're 'in' now, personal crises.. world crises.. 

This will be a part of our pasts.. shared, or alone, part of our histories ...

These are 'our' times, our best days.. best? Yes, these have to be our best days, we have to make them such. Because for us, our generation, these are the days most remembered. Yes we remember times from our teens, 20's 30's 40's.. but these times.. these are closer.. These are the days of our lives.. Now is when we have to live the most, live the hardest, live the very best we can.. because this is all we have.

When I look around here, twenty years this year.. it's such a big proportion of my life.. The changes in my life, the good, the bad, the grief.. also the love the laughter.. the light..

Time never stands still.. and if we're lucky we can catch the happiness and put a pin in it.. tag it, to remember and see it, feel it.. jump back to it.. as if it's happening again, just on a different layer somewhere. Close our eyes and really remember it.. feel the joy.. even though it can bring tears.. it brings us back to good moments.

And that's now too.. pin these moments, really anchor them into our minds.. because these are the ones we'll carry with us.. the most.

I feel as though I have been wasting time.. precious time, some people don't get this time.. 

M.

Cabopino beach.. 

It's very difficult not working, for a few reasons.. firstly money of course! Stretching what I have in the bank.. luckily my outgoings are low.. 

Secondly.. I miss it!! 

Maybe I shall stop counting, also not getting up at 7 every morning means I am getting neckachy all the time, and definitely not as much exercise! 

So not just neck aching.. back legs etc.. along with #5 kidney stone.. it's just one big pain! 

We've had rain and high winds.. my chimney has fallen down and now no fire until I've had that fixed! 

Not quite supposed to look like this is it!

The corner angle which fits into the burner downstream collapsed and this part upstairs dropped.. significantly! As you can see! 

Hey ho! 

M.

The terrace is looking better now.. it's been going through a tough time.. 

I am getting garden furniture up here when I can.. table chairs and maybe a sofa type thing.. the old BBQ makes a good fire pit..

The other day walking back home came across the clothes seller.. he used to come up our street along with the meat man, and the fish man.. now it's only the bread and the knife sharpening men that come along.. 

My mom died twelve years ago today.. I can't believe how long it's been.. I can't believe how I am still living without her, still needing her.. 

I wasn't the easiest of daughters I know.. and even if she didn't always like me I always knew she loved me..

I remember the first few years.. rereading my Blog, those last week's, even though it hurt me more I needed to remember every moment..

I don't read it now, nor have I for probably five years.. 

Still at six (seven here), I will be thinking of just one place at that one time.. 

M.