These strangely gathered photographs today.. I searched 'streets' in my gallery and these were there, amongst a thousand others, of course! 

Above taken in Pembrey Country Park about eleven years ago.. they had a huge ammunitions dump here during WW2.. It really is a beautiful park,.we camped there for a few nights, took me 24 hours after going cold turkey with no data signal to calm down, and basically, just get over it already!! 

Above also in Wales, Merthyr Tydfil, very spooky looking house!

And, yes, this also, an amazingly shaped tree, wind blown by the ever present sea breeze along the beautiful coast land of the Gower..

***

So, what we really need to speak about is my surgery appointment yesterday.

I went through the ordeal of Movicol, after three days of non fibre, and then no food at all.

Up at 3am yesterday morning, for second dose of Movicol, this is a one litre drink that's tastes disgusting, has to be drunk over an hour, 250 ml every fifteen minutes.. the first dose followed by a couple of litres of water to flush it through.. and at 3:30 yesterday morning, repeat the Movicol, and 500 ml of water... a thousand trips to the loo, saying no more!

And at the hospital at 9am, actually there at half eight and took half an hour to find my ward, son and his two came with me for support.. then, left me there...

I signed in, was assigned an area in my ward, and waited, had some checks done, and waited, saw someone who would be in the surgery, he told me all about what was going to happen, the good things, and of course had to tell me the bad that could; I signed the forms to acknowledge I understood what I was signing for.. was so funny when I had to put the date, I paused and looked at him blankly, he said  'the 27th' then again at month, he said 'October,' the year... My mind was completely blank I said "I can't even think of the year" and laughed, he said it's okay, that's normal, all the information about the surgery you're about to have blanks most people's minds.. he said '25'.. I said I was actually thinking 1990 something!! 

Then, I waited some more, it was a ward for six patients, all curtained off for privacy.. and as others came back they were offered sandwiches and tea or coffee, and ice-cream and I was starving!! Smelt so good!!

Then, there came two men, one from earlier and another who introduced himself as one of the surgeons.. at 4:30pm.

They told me I would not be able to have my surgery, that the first patient had had an issue, one of the things that can go wrong issue, and when patient #2 came out, he had to go back in, and that the anaesthetist goes home at 5:30.. which is fair enough, they start at 7am.. 

So! I packed up my things, took off my attractive support stockings and left for the tram..

It was the busiest I have ever been in, I didn't really need to hold on, we were like sardines in a can! Terrible, I was tired, hungry and well, felt like crying..

They had offered me a sandwich, but to be honest at that point I just wanted to come home.

After what felt like forever, got in, got into my comfies and decided KFC was dinner! Ordered it through the app and found it was saying pickup in the restaurant and no place to change it! The phone number hung up, so changed again and, in the now dark, we walked there, and brought it back... To find wrong drinks and a whole meal missing! 

WoW, what a day!

And today, on a brighter note.. well to begin with, had a phone call from the hospital to apologise for yesterday's failure to complete my surgery, but I did obviously understand and that's that really, but was nice to get that call.

Then, even better an hour or so later another call offering me another appointment! 

So it's November 10th.. we were walking to The Range and my phone rang, excellent news... Which means I have all the prep, again, the awful week before and the day before, I have to be there at 7am, so, it's a movicol at 7pm and again at 1:30!! So I guess, no sleep at all Sunday night! But I have to have it done and soon as.. 

Then, here it stops being good news... The November 10th thing...

I opened up my calendar, clicked on the date to make the appointment, and there, already the headline I see every year.. 

When Franco told me his diagnosis.. 

I can't believe the coincidence, the fate.. The chance of my surgery being cancelled and given this date?

Worse Day Of My Life... I placed those words on November 10th 2016.

The day Franco had asked me to go get five tins of Quality Street from Iceland (Overseas), and when I messaged him to say I was on my way to the hospital, where he was under investigation for his pain and sickness.. 

And he said he'd meet me outside the front, by the steps, where patients seemed to gather for fresh air... Or cigarettes!! 

I walked up with a tin of Quality Street for the nurses, others were for other people Franco wanted to give to as Christmas gifts..

He told me sit down, I refused.. and he told me the prognosis, the result of the many tests, and the worse possible news.

So, what a date they've given me, again, the chance, the coincidence, the fate... An omen? I hope if so, it's a good one, because the way my mind is.. I am not feeling it at the moment.

M.

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

Buddha