'I have a colony of bats behind my ribcage, their claws hooked over my bones as they hang upside down, (and the mention of Jack making a fresh start somewhere outside of London) has them fussing and stretching their eerie paper-thin wings. It makes me queasy.'

This is a paragraph from a book I'm reading, One Day in December by Josie Silver..

It's how I feel feel much of the time, not obviously the bit I've bracketed! But the feeling behind my ribs!

I bought the book on my Chepstow placement, but only started reading it flying back from Birmingham last month.

And now here I am in Neath working and who would have believed it! It is bittersweet and I'm still not sure for the best.

Working somewhere we used to live has, is, confusing somehow. It's like I could go home, to Britton Ferry. And Franco and Pippa would be there. And I know this isn't good.

Staying in the road I used pretty much every single day, the same shops, same mountain range there, the same skies...

A really scary thought passes through my mind that I could actually go to our house and walk in and there would be everything I've lost.

and finally...

My dream last night...

I had a weird dream last night, or rather just before I woke up this morning, and luckily it stayed in my mind as I got up out of bed..

I was trapped on the side of a mountain, bare rock, mountain above me and mountain below me. There were others with me after a few minutes, but no interaction.  Then I found a bit near someones terrace, a lady started talking to me over the wall, and after a while I, jumped over and the lady gave me a hug, but then I went straight back to the mountain side.  Trapped once more.

Then I woke up, and I laughed to myself as I remembered and went over the dream.. I wasn't trapped when the lady had called me over, onto her terrace... Yet I had chosen to go back to the mountain and be trapped.

Then I kind of realized freeing myself is up to me.. If I am trapped, it is of my own making.

What a revelation! What an amazing dream! Incredible.

And I know I guess, I am trapping myself, not here in Spain, I know I don't ever want to leave here, this is truly my home, but I mean trapping myself with the past...

Thursday I accepted a placement for work, it starts next week, Tuesday. It is in Neath, somewhere I know so well... It will be great having so many friends nearby.  Bittersweet maybe in other ways. But I know the area so well, and will meet up with people... It will be great, it will be good for me. Its just three weeks, perfect amount of time.

And my next Blog will be from there... Who'd have guessed it eh!

TTFN
Marian

phew last batch of photographs from Malága!

I must have taken a thousand of this structure above... as you walk along towards the port area this is above... it is just so aesthetically pleasing! Lol

This was taken Sunday evening.. as you can tell from my long shadow!! My legs are out'standing'ly long!

In the morning walking to the bus station, the river bed.. or overflow water... not really sure where most of the water comes from, but anyway... this amazing mural/graffiti with the old buildings beyond is eye catching, someone else was taking a photograph so I just stopped and did the same!

It actually looks like I have cut two pictures together, which is why I didn't just post the zoom in!

City Hall from the adjacent gardens

And again City Hall... from above, on the walk up to the Alcazaba, I did think I might try for the Gibralfaro, but no way, at all, was I going up there, carrying my heavy coat and myself!

So I paused here next to the Alcazaba and went back down the road to the centre again.

I wandered the streets.. Malága is a beautiful city, so often missed; people fly in and out of Malága airport without pausing to see or spend time is this great place.

Malága Cathedral

Okay I had a dream!! Lol... but first I think I have some more photographs to post don't I? From last weekends trip to Malága.

A bit of a panorama from the Muelle Uno last Sunday..

The beautiful Malága City Hall... one stunning building...

 

Three photographs from the Nativity inside City Hall... It was good, but still not as good as Alhaurín El Grande...

Two more from inside City Hall...

more photographs in the next post... in about five minutes!!

I have the worse photographs for my Blog today! Lol I took my camera to Malaga but didn't use it once, standing at the barrier after an hour and half for the cavalcade to begin I was just too cold, and too many people pushing and shoving and I just used my phone... and that's the truth of it!

If only you were actually there! It was so much better in person! Even with the cold... I got to Malaga in good time, caught a bus, checked into my little apartment, studio apartment, was small, very bijou! But all I needed, and in a perfect location.

I had a wander down around the city taking my time and got to a barrier not far from City Hall and start of the parade... and then I waited... From nearly 5pm to about 6:30 when the cavalcade begun, a long time to stand but I was right up front and could not have got any nearer to the action! Although, in retrospect sitting in a chair would have been so much more comfortable, and those people who had booked chairs had the right idea, and waiting for them to take their seats was THE most annoying thing of the whole weekend! Not only were they slow to arrive, they sauntered down the street without a care in world, some arriving within minutes of the parade starting!!!

And so it began! The first were bikes, great big roaring wonderful amazing bikes!!! Terrific!

I saw about ten of the floats, each one, after the bikes, threw sweets into the crowds, me and the lady next to me ducking each time, headed straight for us it seemed! I think I caught some in the hood of my coat! The kids were screaming, and shouting to throw to them, they only threw them whilst moving... the floats I mean.  It was so much fun.

I stayed there until about 7:30, apart from being cold, and getting a bit peeved with being pushed about, my back hurt and my feet! And, I was getting hungry! So turned around to walk away and was confronted by about... phew, I don't know... twenty to thirty rows of people! At least and as the steps behind me rose up so did more rows of people... on the flat I was tripping over pushchairs and bags and who knows what!!

As always c/Larios Christmas lights were amazing, no music of course now; but beautiful to see, they looked like a cathedral... amazing... in the dark above and in the light those windows appeared as stained glass windows...

Sunday morning I walked about the streets first, having coffee.. then I went down to the port... 

And taking more photographs, still only with my phone! Just don't ask, I don't know why I didn't use my camera!

TTFN
Marian

My first photograph from this new year 2019...

Early over my home...

Last night went to a friend's to see in the New Year, ate salmon washed down by a bottle of pink Lambrusco I bought from Aldi the other day.

Watched an old movie called Breezy directed by Clint Eastwood, his second, made in 1973, a great movie, it should be in the top ten to watch movies of all time! I had never even heard of it before, and will watch it again and again I am sure. Some great lines, humour, romance, I think digitally enhanced now... Just memorable!

Had hot chocolate in town this morning, a ghost town! Bar opened just before nine, the two girls opening up looked like they had had very little sleep.. Probably hadn't!

So, it