Tuesday, January 30, 2018

Like a wild horse running free
With the wind in my face 
And the storm at my heels

Its not quite 7am yet, feeling a little tired, had one helluva Saturday with many many phone conversations, in which I sent around and around the system until eventually getting an ambulance, three hours after my first call... a long journey to the hospital, arriving at 3pm, went straight into a booth, got seen in time, got into a ward at 6pm for either going to a bed ward or home, at 7:30 an ambulance crew came to take us, but we needed assistance to wheelchair, by way of a turner machine, there wasn't one actually in the room so they... left! We were abandoned! And had another crew take us at 10pm, we had to go via another hospital further away than that one! And the driver used a satnav to negotiate the drive, we ended up on some moor? Drove over cattle grids? and had to reverse at one point!  That day I went through many towns I have only ever heard of, and we got back just after midnight... So yes, yet again, one helluva day! The music in the ambulance on the way back, a journey of 2 hours... was love songs from the 70's and 80's... to be honest I didn't know weather to laugh, cry, or just get hysterical!! So I kind of sung along and let tears fall in the dark when I just couldn't take any more...

Last night I dreamt of my mom, I know I dreamed of her before in the last eight years, nearly, since she died... but last nights dream was long, and now in retrospect how I wish I could have lucid dreams... So much I want, need, to talk to her about, so very much... I could I have spent so long, in a dream which felt like it went on for hours, with many conversations between us, so long without anything I that would like like to say... I know our dreams feel like hours and are in fact nano seconds... but in that dream I had some time with my mom...

And today we should be waking up to a frost, not seen one since I arrived here, only mild weather, sometimes rainy or drizzly, but mild non the less, no ice or frost, double figures too much of the time! Supposed to have been 0 or -1 last night, time will tell when I draw back those curtains later on the world here in the Mendips! I can hear the birds chirping their morning chorus already!

Overall, it is a very good placement, able to talk and watch TV with the customer, have incoming care also, so I am having some more interaction, which is always the hard thing when working solo.

Saturday, January 27, 2018

We must let go of the life we have planned, so as to accept the one life has waiting for us.
Joseph Campbell 1904 - 1987

Very rushed last second photograph above, of my banana dropped over a week ago!

It was picked up and left there on the wall for all to see, abandoned by its owner... Me.

The sad banana lies awaiting
Uneaten, unappreciated, near to feinting

To not even a bird or mammal taken as sustinance
It must end it's days alone now in penance...

Thursday, January 18, 2018

Here I am in England!

Arrived late evening into placement, all okay, lovely little village in Somerset, is all I can say of course! Client confidentiality and all that!

So prior to this made a few notes! Walking the Pipster the day before I left Spain I noticed at 7:20ish that there was a subtle change in the light! That day was indeed breaking! And not only I that noticed this! The birds also, and they were beginning their song of daybreak! Was nice to hear, no, it was good to hear, an uplifting sound of promise...

Which was good after another nightmare! I was hiding, then running, stole a plane! By then we were a group on the run. And the plane small, it also didn't fly above about 50 feet!! Then we were  hiding in a house, I saw a chance of escape through a window... But woke up before I could do so!! Great! Lots of meanings there, the obvious I suppose is I want to run away! Maybe by plane? But the idea didn't get off the ground really did it!?!

Then my old thing of randomly smelling cigarette smoke again, every day for the past week actually, in the house and morning noon and night! Anytime of day!

Some great excitement also! I have actually talked to new cousin! Another new one! He lives near some of my other family in New York, but it from my mom's side of the family!!! How crazy, and what a small world in which we live...   I think he thought me a little crazy! Welcome to the family!

Saturday, January 13, 2018

Yesterday I went down to the coast, to a store I do not frequent very much at all! Yes I know, no names and no disrespect meant, it is what it is shall we say!

I also went to Aldi, where I got the things I actually wanted, so a bit of a wasted journey, but the day was lovely, so lovely, I drove back dropped the shopping picked up the Pipster and we drove to Mijas Pueblo...

It is so difficult not to take repetitive photographs in Mijas Pueblo, especially after 29 years!!

Luckily the plastic bottle Christmas tree still standing was there and real quirky, another tree or two... I didn't get pictures of, were frames decorated in can tops! real pretty too!

The other photograph above and the one on the left below are of the new single track road that circumnavigates the area below the gardens... there are steps up to the village from there! Phew, not take them yet!

A different view above... with a cold looking sky... and below wild lavender.... This has changed so little in some ways and so much in others... the walls and railings safer now... no wobbly parts as there were...  steps safer too... that wall on the left that runs the whole way round, it was just rock on rock, now its cemented in place... so precise... and without the momentum Tony placed there back when we were only on holidays, and I used to look for, and find, and look each and every single time we walked the steps... and then... cement... change... It is the same but not the same.. life I suppose, the same but not the same.

Boquerones Fritos
I sat with my back in the warm sun eating the above boquerones fritos, Pippa was getting harassed by a little furry male dog...

Yes I was in a thoughtful mood our whole visit, because I didn't want to be in the house, I needed to be out and away... Because sitting here all I do is plan my escape, I want to go through things, I want to clear more things I need to do something, I know what I want to do, but the next step will be difficult, the hardest next step.

Thursday, January 11, 2018

Obstruction Road...

Random photograph above, mom and I at home in California, 1960...

I awoke this morning from an awful dream, a woman who was either my mom or my husband's mom... I could see her on the other side of a deep concrete waterway... had fallen and needed help, (she wasn't familiar to me when I woke up... Not a mom I know...). And in the dream I was trying to make my way to her, crossing the waterway by the nearest bridge didn't... You know how dreams are, so I travelled about through unknown streets, and into scary houses with scary gardens... I was nearly there, I could see the same bridge, and knew I was close to 'mom' then the alarm went off... I snoozed it, in hope of returning... But could only see the scary house I'd been in, with strange people living in the cellars...

Obviously an obstacle dream... So expected obstacles today... The last few days I am my own obstacle, and today has been no better, after what had seemed baby steps forward of improvement, this week I have been thrown back months...

I shall be glad to get back to work next week, support someone who needs me. I feel sorry for Pippa, wish she could have the stability she had before...

We've had snow, torrential rain, hailstones, high winds and sunshine! It's been three seasons in one week! Freezing cold inside and out, warm in the sun and wood burner keeping us snug in the house, when I can be bothered!

I've gone to the dentist to get the stitches out which refused to disintegrate naturally, after four weeks I thought it time!

Pippa has gone out for morning walks okay, some afternoon walks have proven impossible, and the shortest block is all we have accomplished!

I think I'll pick another photograph at random! Just opening up and stopping where I hit it!

And a quote:

Nothing changes unless you make a change...

Sunday, January 07, 2018

New year new road...

We have a lot of snow on the surrounding mountains this morning, all across the tops of the Sierra de las Nieves, of course, but also on the ones right ahead... up above Alonzaina.

I was late getting up this morning, after an initial 7am alarm, I had a headache just as I have had for the past four mornings, so I got up fed Pippa but knew I couldn't get out for a walk or eat so took one of strong migraine meds and went back to bed.  Before I knew it it was 11:45am... I got up had my breakfast and have taken the Pipster out... I think it could be a cold my body is fighting, the pain is sort of down my neck and inside my right ear... maybe a bit of a sore throat also, but only now and then...

As you know I don't get colds that often, very rare, my body has so much to fight all the time it keeps the mere cold at bay!

My fur-baby.... Is this the face of love or what! Bless my little girl!

I took this the day before yesterday, are we approached I could hear them first! The camels preparing for the Three Kings parade through our town!

There are some sheep there too!  A strange view to come across in Alhaurín El Grande, three camels and some sheep!  Even Pippa was happy to stop and stare for a while while her very confused brain must have thought WTF!! Oh, well maybe not!!

Lol... can you imagine me using these expletives when I first began Blogging... how many years ago... nearly fifteen years now!

I just switched on TV to watch a movie and a different one came on its called The Call.... it is excellent... BRB... Well, I wasn't right back, it was a long movie and an absolutely excellent movie! 2013, so I am guessing most people have seen it already! Unexpected and excellent!

Feeling quite ready for action now after this! And I can't remember yet what movie I was expecting!  This happened the other day clicked on one movie and another I had never even heard of came of which was excellent! Its like someone else is choosing them for me! Weird eh!?!

So... can't think what else I was writing now!

Opened the back door to let Pippa out and banged my shin against the bed, done that a few times in the last few days! Can go for months without doing that then bam bam bam!!

This morning had I not been sleeping! Was going to go down to Miramar the sales begin today! Still, probably done me a favour eh... I was going to buy something that I can do without!

And in this time of mixed emotions where my passport[s], are ready for action I should keep every cent ready also!

Arh yes! Yesterday I had a great hour and half with a friend on video calling... was really great, almost like we were in the same room! Both having a sip of wine... It was the evening and I had reached my second glass of Cava which I had opened at 3pm ish!  I had posted about it on my Facebook page and was surprised, or not! At the huge response to drink drink drink!! Lol...

And so I am a slow drinker and a not a not very much of a drinker!  Still over half a bottle left, which I will probably add to chicken tomorrow instead of drinking neat!!

So, great chat with friend, and then later another half hour video call with another friend... thank the lord for the internet! Or for the assistance from the inventor!

Mmmmm okay! Ciao amigos!

Need a little something here to follow.... let me look!

Wednesday, January 03, 2018

Steady steps on the road...

Above photograph taken on New Years Day... Beautiful day... up there in the blue beyond is a person paragliding... Lol, honestly there is, you may have to zoom in, he is about centre!

I took a zoomed in shot, but only with my phone so blurry... will leave it up to you!

Another nice shot from in front of the town hall here in Alhaurín El Grande...

I had had to take myself for a walk, Pippa was refusing to leave the street, its been hit and miss, sometimes she gets ten or twenty feet away from the house, she goes down to the house where they're working, and she goes in if they are there, for a cwtch... Pippa checks out three houses, her favourite places to stop by! Lol...

This tree, now bare... was in flower when Franco died... last year... It of course, gets to be reborn each year... as do we in a different way...

I have felt happier here recently, happier in a different way, because its all I can, its all anyone can do; and therefor now, back to wanting to go back home! I always have said, always say.... If you're not happy where you are you cannot be happy where you want to go, because we take ourselves with us... don't we!  So now, here I am feeling happier and now want to leave here again!  I might sound slightly crazy you know, most of the time! You should be in my head!

The other day someone called to see if the house was still for sale because she had a buyer!! Then today as if in conspiracy someone else said, what are you doing here still!! You should go home! Everything will be so much better!! Lol...

And suddenly everything and everyone is pointing me back to America!  So I am going back to work soon! Been a month and need to focus!

Talking to a friend the other day, had to laugh when I read these words that came after whatever I had said!

"Excuse me, but how, in the seven realms of Hades, are you confused?  You're a California Girl hun.  Confusion is not an option."

This says it all!

Life can be beautiful in different ways... #Alba