Recently I have found this incredible band.. Burn The Silence.. listening to this as I write.. Half of You is gone.. 

Next Blog, I'll link to the first track I heard from this band from St Augustine, Florida, 2023.. 

What I've heard so far, their music is deep emotional and heartfelt.. 

Tomorrow's track.. all of the above, I was in tears.. of course! 

It's tomorrow already! Sat having coffee at Homemade, the cafe at the park near #1 son's.. 

No handle on the cup, bit like being back home! 

Wasn't going to get out today... you know, one of those days, but I forced myself out! It rained overnight, probably because I had watered the plants, my sweet peas are now in place with a lattice to aid their progress upwards.. and the sunflowers are actually looking like sunflowers now.. I think this is the first time I have ever grown them! Startling eh!

Yesterday was a trip to the post office, as I had Monday.. been having a bit of a binge on eBay.. selling, not buying.. 

Yesterday I dropped off a Cath Kidston tote bag I bought in a charity store when I was staying with my friend T. in Alicante area last year.. bought for €5 and sold for £5! 

Have I actually not posted since May 15th?? 

Sorry, been another rough time! My rocky road doesn't get easier.. must be those rocks I cast ahead of me as I walk! 

So! Going through my things out of storage, to slim them down again... I guess the .. nope that wasn't going well that sentence! 

I came across about 60 house listings from when we were selling our apartment back in 1981 and looking to move to Berkhamstead..

I put them in the 'to bin' section and moved on, came across a brochure from British Telecom and the phones of the day back also in 1981.. 

I took a photograph and put in the same pile as the listings.. something made me use Google lens and I saw that a brochure has been for sale on eBay... and sold! 

So I loaded it up, eBay suggested £5.65.. and that is what it sold for!?! Incredible eh?? A single piece of glossy paper, folded twice, of 1980's telephones!! 

The listings I sold for £2.00! I thought why not make those forty seven years of carrying them around worthwhile! 

My flabber is gasted! (Flabbergasted!). 

I also sent a commemorative book from 1902 King Edward VII Coronation.. The celebrations in Berkhamstead, Hertfordshire, filled with advertising and photographs from the day.. soft cover.. I guess my grandmother kept it... Also a tape measure from Wards drapers in Berkhamstead.. no point me carrying them around any longer.. they are now somewhere safe in the Berkhamstead Historical society..  Gone home, where they belong...

M.

In the long run, the sharpest weapon of all is a kind and gentle spirit.

Anne Frank - 1929-1945 - Diarist

 

When all is said and done, maybe I would have been better off here with my ghosts, than living away from them ..

In Alhaurín now, home, heart body and soul.

M.

 

More from Ronda... Was a very long day, from getting the 06:35 coach .. three hours to get to Setenil de las Bodegas, then Ronda and three hours return journey... Very long journey...

But, of course, well worth it... Went with Rubena excursions from Fuengirola.. great coach guide, and driver.. 

Learnt that Orson Wells fell in love with this area and wanted to have something of his here... 

Taken, courtesy of Google:

Orson Welles (1915–1985) was deeply enamored with Ronda, Spain, spending many summers there and forging a close friendship with bullfighter Antonio Ordóñez. Following his death, a portion of his ashes was buried in a well at his friend's estate, El Recreo de San Cayetano. He is honored with a statue near the plaza de toros.

I took this photograph from inside a bar!

Today a bus ride to Benalmádena.. €1.75 each way,.not bad eh! A wander around the marina, a coffee, then a couple of hours on the beach before heading back to Fuengirola..

And tonight, dinner in the Buffet restaurant on the port.. So decidedly stuffed now! 

M.

“When someone really hears you without passing judgment on you, without trying to take responsibility for you, without trying to mould you, it feels damn good…”

Carl Rogers, American psychologist

Sitting here at the Don Miguel of Ronda.. 

I am drawn to thinking how amazing this beautiful county is.. 

The inner peace, the awe, the heart and soul of me feels it's life, it's heart and soul, and they match with mine.

Yet I left... Why it was time I don't know, I just knew I was sad staying, and never realized for a moment how much sadder I would be leaving..

Not forever I know, visiting is always an option..

But visiting home and leaving.. is difficult..

It was hard leaving England originally, because of my boys, and friends... But this pain of loss is worse in other ways..

And now if course I can see my son's whenever, and my beautiful grandchildren... But.. my soul remains here...

A good day, up way too early, many hours to get to Setenil de las Bodegas, a small on road train journey from coach to near calle de Sol, a fly around the loop, from calle sol to calle sombre, a coffee, and back on the little train and off to Ronda! Three and three quarter hours there... Time for walk, lunch at Don of risotto de rabo de toro, ( ox tail risotto), y un vaso de vino Ronda tinto.. very nice...

A walk, and stopped for coffee, barman easily persuaded me into adding tiramisu!

M.

Worrying does not empty tomorrow of its troubles, it empties today of its strength.

Corrie Ten Boom - 1892-1983 - Watchmaker

 

Well, you must all know by now I am a huge Frasier fan ... Having Blogged the end poem so many times, many of you must also now find those words familiar..

But now, as I sit coffee in hand prior to a good river walk, am watching the penultimate episode..

Frasier is talking with Niles and their father about his, the fathers, upcoming marriage and how he made a wrong booking date for the ceremony and party, choosing Eddie's birthday of May 15th, not that of his fiancée July 15th!

The sons say don't worry, we can do it in only eight days.. which means the date would be presumably May 7th that this conversation is taking place... As is today's date!! 

Weird eh!! Coincidence! Strange... 

Yesterday no walk, it was my eldest son's birthday, every year he gets older and older than me! It's incredible!

We had brunch in town, was a beautiful weather day, and we sat in a little hidden area of Bills in Nottingham, was really good.

Then a wander around town, beginning at a bank, I'd had a phone call whilst eating, telling me 800 pounds was being taken from my account and to do this and that .. obviously I'm savvy enough to know a scam when I hear one and hung up, I went to the bank really to see if they wanted the number that called me... He didn't! And he told me everything I already knew about the call, and why, in a very long winded way! Still.. thank you very much!! 

I do still remember the scam that befell me. That I, even worse, made happen to myself by booking and paying for a cab before I even saw it! Holds head down in shame!

Need to get out soon, fresh air and river walking does the soul good. I need that.

M.

Passion is energy. Feel the power that comes from focusing on what excites you.

Oprah Winfrey

 

Yes been walking this morning.. Cow parsley richly filling the tow path here.. 

Few walkers this morning, it's bright and felt chilly when I started walked, then wished I hadn't worn my hoodie that I had to tie around my hips for the majority of the walk....

Listening to an interesting book called Manners and Mischief by Ann Glenconner... It's really really good... And after The Word is Murder by Anthony Horowitz.. it's a fresh change.. As real life can be!

This is canal bridge over the river... Where the Kingfishers were last week, and the heron, and an otter, if you're there early enough, apparently, I am not!

Less than a week to go and I'm heading home to españa! Made my list, as yet to see if the items will all fit in my small bag.. just nine days .. and will not be enough.. 

I cannot emphasize enough how much I miss home, it really makes me feel physically sick.. the missing.. 

It hurts to look at my thousands of photographs from all those years.. but wonder if I should force myself too... Fight my way through it. I don't know..

M.

No such thing as spare time. No such thing as free time. No such thing as down time. All you got is life time. Go!

Henry Rollins - Actor – Musician

Song Morning Of My Life John Holt..

Beautiful song... Can't remember now where I heard it when I saved it here though!

Also can't remember, that's the trouble with late Blogging!! Did I mention my new new glasses? 

They're good, but it's old school, I have one pair of reactolite glasses, a pair of full sunglasses.. 

I find I have to take the regular off and put the sunglasses on and off repeat! 

My old click ones are my best ever, and next glasses I'll reuse those frames! Job done!

I also the day I went to collect them, got an unintentional pack of mints!

And from the charity shop, a couple of pretty vacation tops, 4.50 each, we're only one pound each! 

The photographs all stunning spring scenery, all green and fresh and lush.. bees, butterflies, ducks and ducklings, swans and signets, herons, those stunning kingfishers!

Beautiful time of the year here in England. I pleasure and delight walking the rivers and canals nearby.

No wild garlic here following in the footsteps of the bluebells, (or white bluebells at the start), sadly..

Certainly been a beautifully warm week, in the 20° ..

Before I close, I had an incredibly strange dream last night, I dreamt I was dead, but was still there! And that is exactly what I Googled! Very interesting! 

M.

One should live where one's soul is in harmony