This morning I drove into town to force me into driving elsewhere after my normal morning catch-up with the guys at the bar...

After two hot chocolates I got my car and went to Aldi in Coín, when I came out a male podenco was hanging about, he walked towards me and my cart, which I then caught on heel because I was watching the dog... I said "hola" to the little chap and took my groceries to my car.. another person also spoke to the dog.

He just stood looking sad, lost, lonely and hopeful of something, someone...

He stood head hanging low and eyes following me...

I got one of the little bottles of water I'd just bought and Pippa's drinking bottle from the car and took them to the dog.  He nervously stepped back from my approach so I filled the water bit and placed it on the ground for him.. he walked up and drank his fill...

His face was just like Pippa's and I drove away in tears.

Just filing through my photographs on my Kindle, came across this from June sometime...

It's so true, all or nothing eh!

I have been spending time in my Oculus, doing well, well better, learning to navigate my way from place to place, how to move more fluidly, and to fly, when you can.

Not used to interacting with strangers, but it's getting easier. saying "hi" to random avatars is not easy, especially if they look like a robot, or a slime (Ghostbusters), a just a floating skull!!!

There are a few too many young kids on there, school holidays at the moment.

And funny all our avatars being the same height when voices are so young!

In a ketchup only bar, Tony's Bar! Us few adults got together and went on together to other Altspace locations... One place I can't remember what it was and there was a really cool game where I would happily hang out in.. but searching today, no luck!

Still it's great, and looking forward to the Quest coming out in the Spring!

My arm hurts from all the basketball I've been playing the last few days!!

I better change to left handed for a while! Lol!

Went to a cool gallery today, chatted to the artist and he talked about his art, and the problems with loading for the Altspace world.

Yesterday a friend came to visit and we went down to Fuengirola for fish and chips...

And then to IKEA in Malága before heading back home.

A good day.

This evening at 18:00 as the sun was going down... 

TTFN
Marian

Well that almost week has gone very quickly...

I made some notes on the train from Shrewsbury to Birmingham...

Lets see what they were!

Deer - Yes, I saw deer running near the tracks and back into a forest, beautiful moment, a small herd of them...
Sheep - Yes plenty of these! and some cows, but mostly sheep!
Men with guns - This was an odd sight! Suddenly there were three or four guys standing in a field with shotguns drawn pointing skyward!! Not sure if they were clay pigeon shooting or aiming for real birds!
Field of pheasants - And within a few minutes and only about three fields along was what was quite literally a field full of pheasants!!!  Dozens of them, some close to the tracks and flying off low to the ground to get away from the carriage! Male and female... so many of them I couldn't count them... but they should be counting themselves lucky the guys with guns were not in the same field!!!
Tree carving - This was stunning! A tree still standing, but all branches cut from it, and the trunk had been carved beautifully, almost looked like a totem pole.
Sunshine - A beautiful afternoon the sun shone from the moment I left work, standing on the platform awaiting the train, the last time I will flag a train down probably... the last time I stood there, much more was well with the world... and the world I am in now is very changed...
Rivers - I passed along and over many rivers... so many small streams winding their way around the fields and through the forests.
Waterfalls - Beautiful, after some rain the rivers and falls full of rushing water, so pretty in the sunshine.
Brown earth - Not sure why I wrote this?? There had been some fields prepared I guess for spring, left bare and brown, and richly colored.
Colors of autumn - Lots of leaves on trees still... and now its winter isn't it! Still so many leaves to fall.
Watercolor skies.. - Yes an artists pallet across the skies... so many times I see landscapes my step dad could have, would have painted.

And after the train, I got lost, or just confused, at Birmingham International station, thinking it was the airport I couldn't understand why I couldn't find the hotel!! So after getting un-confused I found the airport and the hotel! Once I could actually get back out of the airport!! Signs saying where to go to fly... but to actually exit!! I didn't see a single one!!

I ate dinner in the hotel, although it was an Ibis basic, it had a wonderful restaurant which they don't normally have, maybe because its at the airport... and a coffee room close to mine, except no caffine coffee!!! Don't know what that was all about!!!

I left lots of bottles of stuff in the room in the morning and weighed my case in the airport, it was still 2.5k over the limit so had to dump all the rest!! And a pair of shoes!!! OMG!!! Lol.. oh well hey ho!!

Good flight home, got my car... bought groceries in Lidl on my way through and then I was home!

I got the tree up, got more shopping and wood for the fire yesterday...

And today, Christmas Day, has nearly passed. Watched movies, made lunch, a glass of wine, a couple of shots of something similar to Bailys... some time of the VR... Lots of calls and messages from friends and family...

And I am done.  Too tired to re-read so E&OE blah blah

Last night I was awoken at quarter to one in the morning and again at twenty to six!!! Well, Okay, this morning... Both bad times, for me... and I didn't get back to sleep again after the second trip downstairs... especially after yesterday waking up at 5am...

I was pulled from my last dream into consciousness... I could actually feel the feeling of being pulled somehow! I got back into bed and lay there until 6:45 (when I thought I might just as well rise and shine.)

And I thought as I lay there about that feeling of being pulled and I wondered where exactly I was dreaming... Do we dream in our minds? our souls? and if the latter where do our souls reside when we sleep... within us or outside sometimes...

I know sometimes I sound a bit crazy!! Wired! or weird!! lol.. but the scientists found that people can and do leave their bodies when they sleep, the rare and lucky few! They even did that test where three guys arranged to meet up once they were asleep and although only two got to sleep and met... they held a conversation and wrote it down in the morning, it was word for word perfect!

So who is to say where we go when we dream... because I was very much pulled back into me this morning...

And those phenomenon things I have, thankfully not too regular where I wake and can't move, what am I waiting for? My soul to reconnect? Sleep paralysis its called.

Lol... Okay okay, maybe I am too tired and talking while half awake, asleep? Seven weeks with no break isn't so great you know... and today the thetrainline.com just reminded me to activate my train ticket... activating me to book a ticket for tomorrow, because whenever I booked it I was tired already and booked it for today!!! Thirty-seven pounds down the drain! I would rather have given it to someone who needed it than book a ticket wrong like this!

I am rereading this to correct the mammoth amount of errors! Tooooo tired!! Hopeless!! Lol

Talking earlier on the phone this morning with a friend about some funny stuff we do, almost daily! And I remembered being in such need of chocolate one day at work I drove to a supermarket and bought three or four packs of four of the Cadburys Flakes and the guy behind in the line commented on such an amount! I told him I was the Cadburys Flake girl from the old TV advert! And he believed me, he was like 'oh my god yes! you are! wow, this is amazing!....' etc etc... I just grinned and left feeling happy I had my chocolate!

My friend said she bets he told everyone!!! Looking back at that now, 1985, her and I were maybe the same age, ish! Well, okay maybe I was a little older than her... but not enough for him not to believe me! I wonder how many people he told!? I was that famous Cadburys girl he met in Waitrose in Beaconsfield that time!

Heart of stone 1985

I have been in possession of this amazing piece of writing since I was about 25...

The sad sad voice in this heart of stone
sings a song of a love that once was known.
This song now changed from its merry key, has,
in its way no dint of misery. For on its way to
composition, joy was known and joy was hidden.

As joy was shown, this sad sad song, sung
with love by this heart of stone, must release
the tears of a joy once known.

If joy was hidden, it must now be shown,
to reveal the treasure locked in a memory of a love once known.

For love once shown is love alone, enduring in this
heart of stone, let not treasures, both known and
hidden be shut in and unbidden.

The sad sad song of joy sings its way from a
misery to a life with sweet sweet memory, for
joys, both shown and hidden, are treasures between us given.



I wonder to this day if the person who sent it to me is the author of it... because it is nowhere to be found elsewhere, I publish here from time to time...

It needs sharing, and I doubt the person who wrote it is still alive now, so sadly will also remain hidden and unknown also.

I am nearly at the end of my time here, and its now with mixed emotions I shall leave... there are times when I get through (don't know how!), being overly positive and funny and changing conversation to better and funnier topics and everything is great! Until it passes and I can't see it anymore even myself..

I've met up with two friends while here which has been wonderful; special times. Hadn't seen one friend for far too long, and the other I may never see again! Lol yes I am always dramatic!

The Best That You Can Do ("Arthur's Theme") - Christopher Cross (w/Lyrics)

Wishing I was going back for Christmas actually... Actually I seem to use the word actually way too much these days! Lol

Old Westbury Gardens

Just photographs today, tired from having to get up in the night, and a disturbed break, when I was actually having a catch-up nap... Give up, only five full days left now... six sleeps... if I can sleep.

June 4th 2018 Astoria Park NY

If I post these photographs from Astoria Park a million more times before I stop posting at all... then expect it.. this evening is lodged in my memory as an all time special!

Old Westbury Gardens

These last few days have been very much up or very much down! I was sent a photograph of Pippa which completely floored me... and feels like I have swallowed a lead weight... I have become quite good at blocking out things which hurt my head, but not everything is so easily blocked...

Atlantic City

Feel some words of wisdom should be written here... lol

I have so many happy things to think about, I do, and I know where I am is making it worse, I haven't been able to speak to people I normally speak to, on the phone or face to face, people who are important to me, seven weeks is four or five weeks too long!

Maybe it's best I don't write much today, called up twice in the night, and early start.

Trying to be overly positive all day and not much sleep doesn't make a good combination...

Rain yesterday, please let the sun shine today! 

Today's mindfulness tip on my phone read: 'Be a spectator of what goes on in your mind.'

Which makes sense, watch what goes on there, I don't have to listen to it all and take part, I don't have to let it lead me, or upset me or push hither and thither... Like this morning, my mind raced immediately as it does at random times during the day, and the awful times in the night of my fur-baby and you would not want to know what happens in my mind then, what awful thoughts and emotions take me over. I can't write them. I probably actually never will be able to tell you.

So! Moving on swiftly to this past night! I was so tired and went to sleep quickly, then woke up about only twenty minutes later, at only eleven!! My foot was aching, well my heel... I must have mentioned my sore heel over the past few years? It just aches when I am laying down, not walking.. anyhows its been more painful the past few weeks, so I had already taken paracetamol for it and it hadn't kicked in, haha.. no pun intended! I must have gone to sleep because I awoke again before one am... and in agony with it, I just could not find a way to lay my leg or foot which didn't aggravate the pain; I saw two am, and then fell asleep somehow... but at three am I got called by the lady I am supporting, and was with her for about a quarter of an hour, and apart from the heart banging thing that happens when called by someone, the pain was worse in my heel... I took more paracetamol and tried again to sleep.  When the alarm went off at 7am I was shot... I am so tired, my heel still hurts and I am sitting down with no pressure on it at all at the moment,  I must have googled this problem, this pain a hundred times, but for the first time Achilles came up, and seems to answer most of the questions I have over it... although if it is and I have been suffering with it for so long, I should have had it seen to by now! Which could be why the pain is now so bad.

I have enough trouble sleeping at night now, with insomnia, those damn thoughts in my head from night till dawn... and pain in my foot is the icing on the cake!

I used to sleep well, I woke often, just turned and fell straight back to sleep, that was me, I could wake up twenty times but always fell immediately back to asleep, my mind free of worries.. always been a few aches and pains with some of the crapola I have, but they didn't bother me. Is this the true reason that people sleep less when they get older!! For godsake I am not there yet!!!

The lady I am with now, one of her great sayings is 'Old age doesn't come alone' she says it with a deep drawn out voice to accentuate the words, how very true this is!! Lol (If you are going to try to say this, think the old voice tape we have all heard "London calling" "London calling"... from WW2.

How very true those words are though...

This was the thought I awoke with this morning, I had switched off my 7am alarm and was waiting for the 7:30 I had quickly added, to give me a few extra minutes if I could.. but I had this thought and woke up properly, 7:10 and was out of bed feeling a little bit better... sans my body! Lol

'Think very carefully about the people we have become, reach your hand back to that younger self...'

Maybe I didn't finish my thought, maybe that's up to you... maybe that is just it...

Me, about thirteen... Who was I then? Lol not much smaller, actually still the same size I think! Lol.. but in my head? I guess I wasn't me yet...

One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted.
Do it now.

Paulo Coelho

I'm getting déjà vu! Did I post this before? It's on my notes! So very maybe probably!

Just been out to fill the bird feeders, trod in pheasant poop! Nice! Did take a photograph, of the pheasant I mean! Not the poop! But heck, I took so many of him before what's the point! He's been over glamorized! If it's the same one, I'm proud of him making it through though, him and his Mrs who I saw wandering around here the other day, can't be an easy life, being a hunted bird!

We have a movie on about a long train journey across the states.. how absolutely wonderful..

Let's see! Okay, fly to LA stop over with my bro, then board the train... a slow train, all the way to New York.. visit with family, fly back!

I'll be Googling train journeys now, Amtrak? Who else?

I could Blog my way across America! Funny when I go off on a tangent like this isn't it! But, it's always good to dream, 'they' say. I suppose though I do spend too much time dreaming, it's hard sometimes to stay in the here and now...

Home

A wall in the town I am working near... These were here last time, as you can see they're not new... But not sure I posted any photographs of them...

And if I did? Hey ho!

Yesterday I was picked up down the road by my buddy!! We talk every week, message a lot every day... but I hadn't seen her for over a year, so great to catch up properly... we sat in a local cafe, unfortunately I chose the best seats but near the only other people sat near where we were, so we tried not to get to high pitched when we talked, or too opening!!

Didn't want to shock the locals!! Lol

A good day yesterday anyway, all in all...

This morning I woke up, early, don't know what the time was... I awoke with a thought in my head, a weird and slightly awful thought, I did Tweet it just now.. but wanted to write it here for prosperity! Haja!!

This is what I thought...

'Wherever I am I'm a long way from home.'

Roads were made for journeys not destinations.

'Confucius'

Today I begin with a quote...
A good quote
A beautiful quote
A quote that makes me feel lighter... I love getting on the road and just driving....

Just scanned through for photographs of roads on my phone...

So many road photos, some not even mine?? I need to clear through my history! Lol

I had to try hard not to post the New York ones which come up whenever I search for anything I want to share!

Zero degrees outside, and I am doing two positive things today! I have been seriously missing out on my intake of water while I have been here in the UK, might sound nothing much, but I do have some sort of kidney problem thing hiding away and all I need to do is make sure I drink! Water!!

And so I am keeping a glass of water in this kitchen and every time I walk in I shall drink from the glass!!

The second thing is I am phoning my manager to say I won't be returning here, I have to, self preservation, it is what it is.

Last Monday evening I took down in the pitch dark all the recycling bins to leave on the grass verge at the bottom of the drive.. did I tell you already?  Anyway, in the morning the guy brought the bins all up and said I didn't need to.. I meant to check yesterday when they will be collected again... forgot, what with everything, and today sat here I saw in the dusk a reflective jacket coming up the drive!!! And went outside! Lol ... well, yes.. of course I did!! And apparently the recycling is every week and so this week, not only had I not put the bins down the drive by mistake), I hadn't even put them out for collection at all!!

Feeling more positive today! Two weeks to go!! My phone is not stepping up to the plate at all in this beautiful morning light... I took so many beautiful photographs when I was here two years ago... okay so maybe this link doesn't take us to the best! But back in time anyway!

My camera would do so much better with the above shot!

Blogging from my kindle which will no doubt choose it's own words not unlike my phone!

I have a couple of weeks left here, this four week placement feeling like an eternity coming directly from a three.

Trying to decide if I am struggling here because of that, or I just shouldn't have returned here. Sadly I think it's more the latter reason.

Being beyond tired, and just wanting to be where I feel at home... able to just be me, with familiar things and... Lol and?

My tide has to turn.

Keep having reminders on Facebook on Google photos; I don't want them anymore, no more what was, it has to be what may come...

What dreams may come...

I've come back, after posting... Just checked, this time last year I was with my brother and his family in LA...

That's not even me anymore.. well it's me, but really not, twelve months...

Also I really think I should get that color back! 

Well, yes I am here!  I am back where I was before... I left here two years ago, and was here for a month on and a month for a year!

Having a day where I am either happy happy happy... Now I just hit a wall in my head. I only want to have good days please from now on.

How do people accomplish that? Or do they really? I want good days or extra good extra special days.

I just walked into town, freezing... well, just cold I suppose! Sunny and bright with a cold wind, I had earache before I got to the bridge! Took ten minutes to walk up the high street and back down it again!

I bought one thing I needed, and forgot one thing! Chocolate!! Now I have none! Zero, nada! Great! Lol

And lastly, I dreamt of an armadillo a few nights ago, strange though it sounds, I was holding, carrying around an armadillo for the whole length of one of my dreams... One could wake up not thinking about that, or laugh at it, but, well, you know me... a little, or a lot, and so I had to check it out, kept forgetting, now wish I hadn't looked at all! Because its a strange one forsure....

To dream of an armadillo represents your feelings about unbearable resistance. Forsaking all happiness or comfort for the sake of surviving or persisting. Putting up with conditions that most people consider terrible as though they were normal. Disbelief or shock at how much adversity or negativity someone else is willing to put up with. You or someone else that feels comfortable never thinking of anything nice for themselves.

Alternatively, an armadillo may reflect your extreme sensitivity to change or risk.

A sign that you or someone else may have a big problem letting go or relaxing. Being too accustomed to never enjoying anything

I've had some doors slammed in my face that's for sure, some harder than others... it's my own fault most of the time; I will walk about with my eyes shut, arms extended and fail about in this world, still looking for an anchor, seems maybe I should keep my aim on sky hooks! So many metaphors, so tired, nothing here will make any sense in the morning, so leave it and come back later... That's a note to self not to you.. You are all used to my unusual self.

They don't get any easier either, the doors.. 'they' say one shuts another opens, who the hell said that? A guy working in a restaurant with swing doors from the kitchens maybe?

Today's was no different, and tonight insomnia now! Lol Well, I did say I was having trouble with sleeping too early, we should be careful what we ask for, because it will come!

And so, I lay restless, then saw my phone flashing and a small ray of light it was too... Just a couple of words from a friend, but the door opened again...

I was thinking as I lay here also, that in this world there is one thing we can be absolutely sure of, and that is, we can be absolutely sure of nothing!

I had planned up until a few weeks ago that I would go away for Christmas, working away from home is enough I know, and who knows soon I will be working where I live, not travelling so much anymore...  But anyway, this Christmas I planned on being somewhere exciting, somewhere different...

But then it was flight booked back to Malága and now too late!

Maybe, wondering about a trip from Malága, last-minute thing, I'll see as the time nears... I don't know where to go? Any ideas please in comments box, yes please! Really!

And if any solo travelers want to come with me, just inbox me.. so! That could be weird! Seeing as people from all over the world read this!

But hey, it's midnight, I'm exhausted, mentally anyway... So play my game...

And there better be some interesting ideas when I wake up and realize what crapola I have written... Through blery swollen eyes at a time when I should, need, to be asleep...

And now, post and be damned as writers say!

TTFN amigos!
Marian

I am extremely lax of late! Must do better comes to mind with my Blog posts!

Above a photograph I took from the terrace at home... Not here at work, where I have been since last Tuesday...

And above taken along the La Cala boardwalk, I went to the market first, then down here... The part above the only part I could see that had been affected by the storms... I walked as far as El Oceano at Miraflores near Riviera Del Sol...

A good walk and I had a coffee at the retirees bar... Lol not just for the retired by the way! Good coffee, good food!

I had been feeling a bit out of sorts... Pippa related, and then probably did the wrong thing by stopping in the forest where her and I used to collect pine cones for kindling...

And back home, well, not a good place in my head... But, its passed now, and I know I have to let the guilt go, let the pain go, I knew two years ago this week it would be as it is...

It doesn't make it better, moving on is the only way, blocking thoughts and letting go of what was, and cannot be. My decision for Pippa is still for the best, as long as I don't think about her...

Home... Home is where my heart is, if nothing else, I know this now. Any doubts about this are gone, I love Spain, I belong in Spain, my heart belongs here...

And now! Working in a very pretty area of the UK, Wales, near Chepstow.

I am moving about in too many places! Today every road I took looked like so many others I have taken on placements, I always thought if I was dropped from the sky and landed I would know where I was! Ha, no more! Except maybe where I grew up, now everywhere looks like anywhere else to me!! Lol...

Today I drove to Gloucester Quays; oh British English language, whats with this word!!! Keys!!! Keys!! Its called keys because where the boats dock look like the sticky out bits on keys!!

Anyways! The big shopping centre there, I think I have seen it advertised on the TV for some time when in the UK, first time going there.. It was too busy, too many people Christmas shopping, it was raining and the car park packed when I arrived already! Only about 11:15 maybe... I didn't actually want anything, so just had a wonder about, bought a couple of things!!! Damnit!! (and touche, with my spelling on that I guess!)

And drove back to work, bought some lunch on the way and ate here in comfort, I sometimes have trouble eating well at work, and this placement is one of those, so ate so much I don't think I'll eat again today.

I lay awake last night with an idea for my Blog today, it was nothing to do with this because I have completely forgotten what I was thinking! Should have just written it down shouldn't i! Lol

I had also written a piece on my Kindle midair to Nottingham last Saturday... It was my eleventh flight this year, one more to go next month and that's twelve! Still, better than last year I guess, when I had eighteen flights, although a couple were my winter trip to the states to visit with my brother and his family... Seems so long ago now, and so does that ten week placement I was on at this very time! Some things are best forgotten, others not so.

TTFN amigos
Marian

Just heard this...

"Life is out of control for everyone, so every day should be so exciting because we have absolutely no idea of what may happen."

There's been a lot of rainy weather since I have been home over the last couple for weeks... 

My eye is still sore!! Better, but sore and I am thinking if it could be my VR? Did I have it on too tight and blocked something in my face!! Lol.. Our sinuses are behind our cheeks, all around our faces, so maybe that is it??

I've even managed quite a few walks up to the BP garage and back now; yesterday as I set off and the cloud came down over the Sierra de Mijas I changed my route and walked the way I used to walk, with the Pipster, so this was the first time I completely followed our route.. not a good idea.. but done now.

Meeting up with friends down on the coast later, so hoping this cloud lifts and lets me get down there safely, and back again! I don't like driving in the rain, especially not here, when it rains it rains! Land slides, rocks and crapola all over the roads, rain so heavy the wipers won't clear the path even on fastest swipe! Lol

TTFN

Lol been a while since I signed off with that...

It's been awhile again since I posted; 'words' for something that flows so easily from my hands I also find it very hard sometimes.  In case I write too much pain or hurt, or feelings.  I would be seriously good to just not feel so much sometimes. To just be, just go with the natural flow of life instead of feeling like I am having to fight my way through each day and night.

And as normal from my tone I am back in my house, back 'home' back in the land where my heart and love resided since I first discovered this country back in 1988..

Yes, thirty years ago, thirty years in August, I arrived here on the 3rd and left on the 17th in Torreviejo.

Today I have woken up with a sore eye, I had a stye in my left eye a few months ago, then my right, and when I left here to go to work I was still using some cream.. been back a few days and I have another in my left eye!! Why??? It is so sore, my whole eye hurts. I am trying to think of what I am doing, what could be the cause... same eye makeup, same cleanser, there has to be something.

So after my brief sojourn into Bewdley, I went to my elder sons and stayed for ten days!! Poor kids!! I have a placement at the end of this month, so am returning a couple of days before when the flight price isn't over three hundred pounds, instead its just under! £298 to be exact, and I am really angry at that! Its school holidays, its bad enough the people travelling with families have to pay these extortionate prices, but I am travelling for another reason.

Lol... yes okay that sounds very juvenile eh!! Its like when its high season here in Spain we all have to pay high fees on the toll roads??? So again, everyone suffers for seasonal reasons!

My temper tantrum is exasperated by the fact that the flight here from East Midlands was cheap enough, but a return booked that I have lost because work changed the dates! And there was a flight, one way, Birmingham to Malaga the same time I was looking.. flying the every next day... for £15!!! Fifteen pounds!!! Crazy eh! Paid £128 including the return never to be used.

I arrived into Malága in between storms, drove home, got some groceries and was in lock in until the Friday, when it was a holiday day here! Spanish day, Christopher Columbus Day... Thursday was stormy all day, I had just about enough food to see me through, I became very imaginative with the items in the cupboards! Friday and everything shut, but the store down the bottom of the road was open luckily, its more like someones front room, and about that size, but at least I managed to refuel there!

Later I went for a long walk, beautiful day, left my phones at home, nothing, just me and my keys zippered up in the back pocket of my lycra (walking) shorts!! Lol... I walked towards the BP garage and the tower... I got half way and thought I would turn around, but I carried on all the way! It took me just under fifty-five minutes, so not bad, and felt better for it!

Unlike today, I was going to the market but rain stopped me, and now the sun is out and I can't be bothered really.  I have spent about two hours with my Oculus Go on, living in an alternate reality. Interspersed with a TV series called The Haunting of Hill House! The spooky bits are fine, but its a bit depressing; fine one to talk I hear you say!

I have made butternut squash soup, which ate some of for lunch, and was good to get my porridge this morning, I had a very odd breakfast yesterday! Sort of like a rice pudding!! Not exactly healthy!

And I think this burst of ramblings is sufficient for today, so people know I am here, I am weird or wired! One or the other or both? Maybe actually leaving the house would have been a good thing today, still time I guess...

Beautiful Bewdley part two!

A walnut and hazelnut from yesterdays walk in the park.

Going to go for another stroll on this glorious day before I hit the trains! A quick trip to Kidderminster by cab, then train to Birmingham Moor Street and walk up and under the bridge to the main New Street Station and on to Nottingham from there!

A pretty eatery here by the River Severn...

I hope this isn't the 'Ring a ring of roses' dance!!

I forgot to mention, yesterday morning twice I was nearly given a bouquet of flowers!! Firstly here I opened the door to a florist, he held the flowers out to me and I said 'I don't think they're for me!' he said oh! Checked the name on the card.. and yes I had to decline... I'm not sure who was more disappointed! The poor man offering me flowers then having to take them away, or me of course!

Then an hour later walking on the high street, a man came out of a florists not looking where he was going and walked right into me with another bouquet of flowers!!

Beautiful Bewdley

Photographs taken this morning here in Bewdley, having a two night stay over before heading to Nottingham...

This is an outstandingly pretty town, I think there was an unveiling this morning at the entrance to the museum, the Mayor was there! And some very well dressed guests!

Apart from the River Severn running through, there is a beautiful park with walkways, a lake and other interesting things!

An ancient walnut tree..

The River Severn...

Just half an hour ago I grabbed a handful of green leaves and pulled this beautiful pair of carrots out of the ground!

So sweet... And sweet they will be.

I was standing by the window on my break and while talking on one phone I snapped this cloud formation with the other!

It did, to my naked eye appear to be an elephant to begin with, but seems to have morphed into a little snouted creature!

Can only I see this? My pareidolia problem! Lol!

And above a chequers tree! Who'd of guessed! Yes, yes! I thought all those chequers pubs were named after a board game, of which I didn't know how to spell either it seems!

I am now presuming the very famous Chequers is named as such because of the trees thereabouts? A place local to where I used to live...

I have learnt a great deal about plants and trees on this placement; I always learn from the people I support, as I always say we are all full of rich histories, and wonderful lives... Here I have made jams, preserves, pickles, and chutneys. With such substantial orchards, and vegetables, I have never been able to do all this, I didn't know how enjoyable it actually is!

So much to learn from one another, I guess I worry somewhat that one day I might think all these memories from others... are mine! Could lead to some serious confusion, or very funny conversations!?!

Today has been glorious, and should remain so for the next few days... I have at least a week off from tomorrow, then I will be on the road again, when something comes up, to who knows where. I am returning to a previous placement in November, but until then it's a mystery!

This morning sat here eating my breakfast, looking out onto the terrace I saw one male pheasant, lots of squirrels, rabbits and a pair of muntjacs!

Nice to see at the beginning of a day in this beautiful countryside location. Unlike the unreal view of a bright red double decker bus that managed its way up this narrow lane on Saturday!! How it turned round is still a miracle to me! Such a bizarre sight I couldn't believe my eyes!!

I am still also worrying about the wasps in the attic! I can hear them buzzing through the night, (drilling their way through the wood of the hatch right over my head..) They may not actually be drilling!! And memories of the horrendous seven stings in one hit I received about five years ago plays on my mind in my dreams...

Just a thought, I'm often saying in Spanish 'there, yonder' allí, 'there' ahí, and 'here' aqui, are so similar.

And only just realised the only difference between here and there is a 't'!!! 'T'here Lol!!!

Is that it for today? Let me see what quotes have caught my eye in the last few days... I go through phases don't I, quoting this or that... Other people's mainly, my own I don't usually write here.. I file them away on Twitter to get lost amongst the billions of other posts.

This is beautiful, I purloined it from somewhere...

There are some beautiful places to live in this world but none compare to the beauty of residing in the heart of someone you love...

"Step out of the pressure cooker and let things take their natural course instead of trying to force something or predict the unpredictable." Quote from 'Summer at the comfort food cafe.'

This can most certainly be me, this is me? I do rush headlong into life... But I have seen how life can be taken so suddenly I guess.

We only have today.

For all the support and caring I give at work, I struggle... I am not including the huge and amazing love of friends and family! So please do not shout at me, I mean I guess I feel I am doing all this... for nothing.

And now having re-homed Pippa the guilt is ripping out my soul, I actually cannot bear to think of her, I have to block her out, or like now, give in and let it out... Thank goodness you can't see me.

I went home before my flight, did I say? It felt like walking into a strangers house, I felt nothing, not even like it's where my heart is.

Lol I'll be okay, I have a temperature, and my always over thinking brain is making the usual mountain's out of a molehills!

Going to the docs later, more antibiotics, which is probably the actual cause of the problem!

And a  damn book, I'm highlighting on nearly every page! I should be reading murder and horror not a stupid  story about a young widow!!! Fffff!!!

This, or me!  Should come with a government health warning!

Messy!

Made two batches of plum jam already since my return to this placement... And as they say, all the best things in life are messy!

Picked them yesterday and made this morning!

No photographs on my kindle from whence I write, so will sort out later, maybe.

Oh technology! Why do I forget the cleverness of it!!

It's good to be back to work; but I never get used to not having my things with me, and feeling alienated from everyone, cut off... Always feels like a different time zone or somewhere between the cracks of real life somehow...

Today when I wanted to just be, and remember the awful events of 9/11, being in Crete at the time with Sarah, and our embargoed flight... Unable to reach my mom, my family back home in the states... The unreal feeling of it all from being so far away.  We were eating  in a restaurant and I went up to the bar to ask the guy what was happening, it looked like a disaster movie from where we were sitting, I remember it so clearly.

Instead I was driving to a hospital appointment!

In the rain! Making use of my new coat!

Lol! I knew I should have kept my old trench coat from twenty years ago!!

So! I was going to repeat a story I've told before about when we had the three minutes silence the week after 9/11, how I was on the phone to my mom outside the dealership, at Mercedes, and when I turned round to go back to my desk, all my colleagues were standing behind me in the showroom, showing their support...

Plums still on the tree, now some of which is jars... And my stash of chocolate! Under guard!