"With one hand the past moves us forward, and with the other it holds us back".

Before my apologies for not Blogging, I need to apologize if this blog reads poorly, as I am talking into my phone and it completely seems to be misreading me or rather mis hearing me!

Passing by a dog walker this morning, I always try to be very aware that they may not hear me for whatever reason, so I kind of make a scuffling noise with my boots, and then say a good morning from sort of probably still about 10, 12 foot away.. and just now a man walking with his dog, paused to pick up a stick and throw it for his little dog, which meant he was just bending down to pick up the stick again when I was alongside him and wished him a good morning, with a joke he clutched his chest and swore quietly and said his whole life flashed before him, then and I stopped and turned and said well I hope it was a good one!

So many of my past jobs have been customer focused.

And I always have tried to be caring and considerate; I try to be in my personal life, but I'm well aware there may have been times where I did not appear so, maybe I don't know I'm being so... 

But I have tried to be throughout my life, it's just me you know, I'm the first to run and help somebody or to give a smile or words of encouragement or kind words you know the normal, 'your hair looks lovely' or 'I like your skirt.'

Something I read just before I left the house this morning, about how easy it is or maybe not easy but how we can so easily be kind and thoughtful to other people, yet to be kind to ourselves is very very difficult.. or impossible.

I walked yesterday too, I had to sit down three times, the leg exercises they've given me for my knees hurt my hips and my back! But I'm determined to keep doing them because how else can I say if they've not worked, I can't say they've not worked if I don't do them so I have to keep trying you know, and maybe it will help as long as it doesn't make other things worse.. 

The photograph of me in the tree I did yesterday while I was walking, gotta love AI, love it or hate it, AI is very much like Marmite and I love Marmite!

Strange photograph above, of a hole in a piece of a tree! 

The river and canal here are full now of spring time, hawthorn in bloom, forget-me-knots, white dead nettles, lots of other random blooms, and the trees and a bright green of renewal.. bees are buzzing and people are walking..

This morning a huge group of walkers.. my continued 'hello's' as I walked through them all along the canal.. So funny.

I have been very very bad with blogging I know.. I recently had a full week with my son down in Welwyn Garden City, a really good week, he took the time off work, it was around Easter and my granddaughter's birthday.. lots of train travel and for some reason I felt a little panicky coming back on the train, I don't know why but just a bit panicky.

Zehn Mal drive about my heart shoes 

Ok my phone completely mucked up the last paragraph which is really annoying I was saying I was having trouble breathing and walking and I meant to say talking and walking, it makes it difficult for me to breathe properly and then I laughed and said that maybe it's the lack of oxygen in my brain that makes the words come out wrong!

I then looked down at my phone to see that the whole paragraph had disappeared and somebody called Zehn mal was driving about heart shoes I have no idea what that meant or who that is even!! 

But as you can see I have left that in because that's what my phone thought I said!

I had a dream two nights ago, I dreamt there was a pocket in my leg, the opening was actually on my thigh, it was a rectangular pocket so less deep more wide, and there were things inside this pocket in my leg... it wasn't bloody or gory, it was literally a pocket in my leg and below is apparently what that is all about courtesy of Google.

I shall now, as I am overdressed today, unlike yesterday when there was a really cold wind and I was freezing, I'm now far too warm, I've already taken off my hoodie and the black top underneath is a winter one. I'm so warm, so I'm gonna get off this bench, and get back and have a cup of coffee.

***

Dreaming that you have something under your skin in a pocket—often accompanied by the action of squeezing, picking, or removing it—symbolizes a need to release pent-up emotions, remove negative influences, or address hidden anxieties that are "getting under your skin". The pocket represents a hidden, personal, or private space where you have been storing emotions, secrets, or memories. 

This type of dream is a common, though disturbing, symbolic expression of the subconscious mind. 

M.

The best laid plans are no match for the winds of change