i thought today photos... above the hymn sheet for St Paul's Cathedral... as aforementioned the other day...

the beautiful silk bookmark....


the Palm sunday cross and the smaller reed one...

***********************

another meeting this morning at the hospital with Mom, district nurses, health visitor and discharge nurse... more of the same talk as yesterday, but saying they as yet do not have the funding sorted out nor people to cover the four visits needed every day, and the problems that could arise if Mom needed someone just after they had gone and would not be back for another four hours...

so we were both left confused by this, Mom does not want to wait in hospital for the care package to get sorted out, but cannot come home if it is not, so other option in the offing Mom has been saying no too, a care home, but then after everyone had gone she said she might consider it... so i have told her nurse... but then Mom may change her mind again, and i am more at a loss than before as to what where and when... Mom is sometimes positive about all this and then you see she is just... not....

TTFN
Marian

yesterday, Mom's birthday Tony and Kate came to pick me up and we drove to Watford to see Mom, she was happy to see us and i opened all her cards for her, read them out, and put them on her table... we were with her about an hour i think... we left when Mom said she wanted to sleep, we also took all her cards with us... she said she wanted them in her home and not have them taken down and maybe lost... so there they are now in front of the tv...

today we had a meeting with her doctor, Macmillan nurse, discharge nurse, physiotherapist and health visitor... so was a bit of a crowd in the little room! the out come... Mom wants to come home, i will be her primary carer, we will have a team coming in throughout the day, involving carers, district nurse and Iain Rennie nurses...

first thing will be the hospital bed to come, so this evening i have moved the book case to make way for Moms bed, i had to move all the books and photos out first and in order! theyre heavy and old and each one makes you stop to read a little... so was a long process... one, a bible with an inscription to one of our ancestors dating back to christmas 1913, contains little flowers been pressed within its pages, and news paper cuttings.. one of which was a hymn sheet handed out in St Paul's Cathedral Oct. 30th 1881... amazing... also amazing a small hand made cross made out of a reed...

a beautiful cross with Jesus upon a donkey and on the reverse a prayer with beneath *Palm Sunday* 1941...

then the most beautiful book mark silk and i think machine woven by a T. Stevens f Coventry..

it reads from the top in a wonderful flower garden the words ~

Ever dearest, ever nearest, naught from thee my love can part

(and below that!)

The Look of Love

Tis is not the lily brow i prize,
Nor roseate cheeks, nor sunny eyes,
Enough of lilies and of roses!
A thousandfold more dear to me
The gentle look that love discloses.
The look that love alone can see...

the book mark was in two pieces though, and half a book apart! but i have placed them where i found them...

so enough house moving for today, Mom's room in prepared for her arrival, and the living room looks like a bedroom!

looking forward to tomorrow meeting Sarah up town... in Aylesbury, then its the bus all the way to Watford! on the look out for slippers for Mom, bought her a pair today in Watford, she tried them on, didn't fit so i took them back and got the later bus home... the quickest returns of an item to the shop maybe!

so... mañana amigos... y adieu and ciao! ok enough, getting tired and rambling like a crazy thing... who feels slightly numb at the same time... take care...

TTFN
Marian

today some shots Barry took while he was over with us on holidays for christmas... above Malaga airport while we were waiting for Franco to come and pick us up, at this point Baz was thinking of returning back to the UK, where it wasn't raining... but snowing instead! maybe a lighter option?

here a strange looking snail.. we thought a one off, but as there were two, we guessed there would be thousands somewhere else! this little chap was crossing our small street, we hoped there wouldn't be any cars for a considerable amount of time!!!

a wonderful shot above including a rainbow!


and above some fantastic cloud formation...

and so to today, i am having a day of rest today, well sort of, Mom is having my cousins visiting, and tomorrow we will be going over as its her birthday.... i am told Mom is having an accessed on monday, while i am there during visiting hours? with her consultant, a Macmillan nurse, Mom of course, and me... we will find out where she is going next, home of course Mom wants, with the help of district nurses, the Iain Rennie nurses and me... i have found out the renal failure was due to the cancer, and some of her other problems she is having now....

but now to this morning, i walked down town and then stupidly walked back again! why do i do it? should have been taking it easy, so feel as exhausted as usual, didn't sleep well, the bed deflated somewhat!!!!

got Mom's birthday card, and the most beautiful Valentines card for Franco....

i also got the last thing i needed on my list for a rhubarb and custard cake i have just finished baking, and some fish for dinner tonight!

as usual with my baking i have to use slightly different ingredients than on a rescipe for some reason or other, non of which by my choice! as in i used canned rhubarb, not fresh, an instant custard powder mix instead of the *real* custard powder! and just a small question... the measuring jug my Mom has is a blue plastic type, not see through, the measurements are only on the outside and you still have to guess where the level is by looking inside it???? doh!!!

better leave here for now, had to take a pain killer, head ache coming on, and have an awful pain on my lip, really weird, i have never had a cold sore, dont think its that but there is a lump *in* my lip... that hurts like whatsit!

adío amigos...

TTFN
Marian

Sorry everyone... been away a while havent i! no fault of my own, when i switched on my little note book here monday morning had internet but *windows* wouldn't recognise it!?! i spent the whole morning trying... and three hours of the evening trying too... till i reached breaking point, not so much the machine breaking but me... so i just shut it off and calmed down before i blew a fuse!

so recap... sunday a beautiful sunny day, first day of sun i have seen since arriving here!

a day to relax a bit and just chill out.... phone calls and web calls to Franco and that was my day...

monday, fun with this little baby then off to see Mom, no change since saturday, in fact no change since really, she is better than she was, but still not eating proper foods, apart from breakfast yesterday morning, but nothing today.... she has the protein drinks she drinks what she can of... and is trying to get more water down, not easy... still not been out of bed, or even sitting up, she is just at an incline... awkward to drink or eat for anyone...

she doctors are coming in and just saying blah blah blah... so not sure what they mean by that!! she is coming out with some weird things which i hope are not reality!!! a mix of dreams, meds and tiredness i think...

i try and ask questions every day, but i must be asking the wrong persons everyday too as no one wants to give me a straight answer... i know she is only in because of the kidney failure, but it would be good to know how that is going, and how the cancer is, what stage we are at etc.. Mom wants desperately to get home to her own place, her own bed, tv... etc, just get home!

tuesday i started the day going in the completely other direction to meet with friends in Aylesbury, we had some lunch and then they drove me all the way to the hospital, took half the time of the bus, but was twice the distance!

then on leaving i was staying at mates in Hemel Hempstead, so got the bus there and she picked me up in town... where she deposited me for my bus this morning!

the promised snow did not materialise thank goodness, just a drop of drizzle! but its turned colder again, mental note, another couple of layers tomorrow!!!

i am now very familiar with the streets, shops and houses on route and even lots of the other bus travellers now! almost first name terms.. well no actually, no one says boo!

there has been shouting by passengers, shouting by drivers... SIT DOWN WHILE THE BUS IS MOVING... a popular one! one driver even stopped where we were till people did!!!!

cold buses, hot buses, wet buses.... they have all been green buses!!

i have a ticket which arrived today which will last me four weeks, one which will allow me to get on and off any Arriva shires bus going anywhere.. within the Shires and Essex! this one starts next tuesday...

got a bit of a headache now, probably all the catch up on here, well and Café World on FB (maybe?) or the nearly whole bar of Cadburys Fruit & Nut! ( or is it Kraft now???? i hate change!) i have just demolished nearly all of it anyway!! well... its there and i am here... and now its nearly gone, what a girl gonna do!?!

tomorrow, very fortuitous but my mate from yesterday has an appointment with a doctor at Mom's hospital at the very time i am there to see her! so its only a return to Hemel tomorrow and we will have a coffee and little relaxing look around town before we go to Hospital..

so amigos, good to be back...
TTFN
Marian

Was better day today, less wet! met Mom's friend at her place and we walked to bus stop and onto the 500 when it came, bit late, and was drizzling by then, had been pouring in the morning... long ride to Watford and then into a cab to hospital.... Mom was so pleased to see her mate, not seen her since last year!!!

Mom was as yesterday, has some strange tales to tell of raining coming in through from the ceiling! and small mice??? i wonder, well i hope, its the drugs! although before she went into hospital apparently she told her friend the doctor had prescribed cocaine!!! it was actually morphine! she is having lots of weird dreams i think!

Iris and i got a cab back to the town centre... and got caught! i gave the driver Iris's £10.00 note, who then said did i have any change? i looked and gave him a £5 note and 50p... he gave me £5.00 change?? which i gave to Iris... so we gave him £15.50 and we got a fiver change! the fare was £5.30 by the way!

the ride home took longer too, we got back to Northchurch at 5:30, bus ride home was an hour and 3/4 !!! so i got fish n' chips, which when i got home with couldn't eat much off, felt a bit queasy... what an awful waste of money.

my Aunt Rita in New York sent Mom card on the 13th which arrived today, 3 days only! Iris sent a card to Mom in Watford, over a week ago, not arrived yet!

the card had a beautiful gift in side... a card with a key ring fob of St Anthony of Padua, Mom and i were in Padua a few years back, there were short prayers for "thirteen tuesdays" in the card, and a Novena Prayer to St Anthony... Mom was so pleased... we were amazed the card arrived so quickly, until we opened to find what was within... i have it here with me, i think i might carry with me till Mom gets home...

ok, time to relax now, its nearly 7pm already!

TTFN amgios
Marian

Evening all! *sad laugh*... what a day, snow clearing but lots of slush on the roads here let me tell you, and i found this out to my dismay!

i suppose it would by funny to some people(?) but not for me, i was walking into town along the old A41 and a truck sent cold muddy slush all over my back! and i mean all over, my bag which was on my included, soaked through i was, apart from the small rectangle of bag...

my coat retains water as did my jeans and hat! i went into the shops i had to, and one i didn't to see in a mirror the damage... mug splashed all over my coat and legs, i was freezing, supposed to be a bit warmer today, well you know 7degrees, but i certainly wasn't, and after waiting at the bus stop for hour the bus was cold, little if any heating on and by sitting down i could feel the damp come through my clothing to my body... it was blooming great...

and to Mom in hospital in Watford, i had another talk the doctor, Mom has been saying about coming home, seems its not quite yet, and her kidney count has to come way down yet for it to be safe, and she needs to get up and move about a bit with a phiso, and eat!!!

she only being given drinks now, and a thick yoghurt thing, they all contain something to help her, and i passed this info on to her as the more she has of it the quicker she will be home!

i did warm up in her room forsure, and then it was back out into the cold.

i had a really bad ache in my stomach all day, a cramping ache coming and going, i wont tell the neighbour in case it was her pie!!!! and i stayed well away from Mom even though i had used the hand wash thing.

the walk to hospital too proved harder than before? my legs ache something awful, as though i been exercising?? yeah right!

but ride back to Berko was a bit of a nightmare, i just wanted to sleep, i feel absolutely exhausted, and then the tummy ache! and i am so emotional, dont know whats happening, the slightest thing i am upset... i stopped off back in Berko to pick up a new duvet and cover set Mom wanted, i'm to get it on the bed pronto as she wants to see what it looks like tomorrow! so i will!!

got a cab home, too much to carry, with the above and a load of jellies for me to sneak in to Mom, did check with the doctor and its fine for her to eat them by the way!

got in changed and slept, i feel completely knocked out, even know, certainly not hungry and slightly head achey...legs still telling me i have gone round the gym ten times in one day!!!

thank goodness for the spell check on here is all i say, well apart from some of my quirky words which i wont change!

so early night tonight i think, although not too early or i will have a bad head in the morning!!!
h e l p..... oh how i wish Franco and Pippa were here, they make me stronger...

TTFN amigos..
Marian

.... well that was Thursday already four days ago, visited Mom in hospital a few times already, the first time was a great shock, she had had renal failure, i could hardly recognise her the first visit, in a ward with 5 others, she was cold and shivery, covered in a strange contraption that blew warm air over her to warm her through... she also had an x ray.

the x ray was to check her lungs, all ok there, also now the awful tubes in her hands are gone, and she is now in a side room on her own, a room they can heat to bursting point, she says she is just so cold all the time. today i bought her four thermal skull caps, she is complaining of having a cold head and she puts a towel over her head and the staff keep taking it way!

she is eating a little, very little, but a little more than she was which is better than nothing.

taken is lots of nice smelly stuff, Body Shop body lotion, took in one, bought another afterwards to take in tomorrow, face creams etc, and tasty drinks, she now has to flush through as much fluids as she can, and hates water with a passion!

had, at last, a good chat with her doctor today which helped a lot, they are hoping to get her up and walking a bit middle of next week, seems a long time.

a mate drove me in today, i bus'd to her house and then we went from there, the bus ride through Berkhamsted common was beautiful, the Castle and the common on the way to Potten End, all the beautiful snow, so much still un touched by human feet, everything we passed was picture perfect, wish i could bottle it and look at it over again and again...

now since last Thursday after i blogged...? well visit to Mom with Tony, or should i say i went with Tony as he was driving, through the snow and ice! we walked to the shops near the hospital and the paths were like ice rinks, i was holding onto Tony, don't know who was holding him up!!

and Friday after Thursday tiredness i slept too long this night and had a bad head all day Friday!
i did manage to giggle though all day at what i had done in the morning, which was threw out the remains of pizza onto the back garden... a garden maybe 6 to 8 inches deep in snow... the pizza therefore sinking down into it! DOH!!! i could see where it had fell, and so did the birds who had come out of hiding when i opened the door and broke up the pizza! it wasn't till Sunday when we had a bit of thaw and a feeding frenzy had taken place where the pizza had been kept chilling for two days! where the pizza had been were dozens of tiny birds feet impressions, still on snow, but a little less now....

we walked to Morrisons along the same path i took on Thursday, the old railway line, still snowy and still beautiful, and when we came out of the store... it was snowing again!

after lunch and watching a movie Kate and Tony brought me to Moms, i got the place all sorted out, all washing done, all lovely fresh and clean, hopefully she can come home, maybe have palliative care here...

i have eaten my way through almost another bar of chocolate i only bought this evening! its not as big as the one i got Thursday which took 3 days... but that's no excuse really is it, i think tomorrow i don't buy chocolate? what do you say??

TTFN
Marian

Day Trip...

Day Trip...

What a day yesterday! checked out net and Luton airport open!

arrived and lined up about 9:50am, check in desks didn't open but there were people there advising of cancelled flights with Monarch and times and departures... eventually check in opened and i did so about 11:15am...

i learnt my flight was now leaving at 7:30pm so Franco and i headed out of the airport, to have a coffee maybe or go further afield... but then i got a text from Tony saying flight was still coming in at 1:30pm? i checked my ticket and it said time of departure 12:00noon? so with haste we rushed back to passport control, said goodbye, i rushed through and then straight to the departure gate as the boarding gate was open!

i got through but the time on the gate was 2:30pm? anyway, we started to board about 1pm i got most of the way down the gantry thing to board when the girl called me back, made a call and said i was on the flight at 7:30pm! same flight number and although the ticket said 12noon, that was just because that was the original time!

what happened was people of the flight the day before, they left and half hour later returned because the wind-shield had cracked and they were not sure they could make it all the way... so returned to Malaga, those people were kept waiting at Malaga airport until one in the morning when told to go to baggage reclaim and taken to a local hotel, arriving gone 2am, brought back and were all on OUR flight!!!!

so nothing to do with the snow at all!

anyway i did the walk of shame and retraced my steps all the way back to the departure lounge area! had a coffee, read a while down stairs, then back up to restaurant area, more coffee!

a couple joined me after a while, who were supposed to fly the day before, and had then not heard of seen the flight they should have got in the morning so were getting on the next one!! we were then joined by another couple, my flight, turned out she had worked for Welcome Foundation same as me, but when it was Cooper McDougall & Robinson, which was the name of the company when Mom worked for them!!!

they are from Watford, and another friend of theirs joined us then, she works at the hospital Mom is in!

and finally we were joined by a guy who is a musician! and played with some very famous people in some very famous places around the world, especially in London where he still plays!

so we had our little gang, we called our selves the Luton 7!! we felt like hostages, leaving things to go for walks, or coffee or bathroom breaks...

we were given no official information, only relying on families checking out on the net or phone for us.

the time kept changing from bad to worse, i wont bore you any more but the last and final time change showed 12 midnight boarding for a 12:30am flight! at any time we thought the flight would be cancelled and no flights with Monarch till saturday!

we, the gang, all went down stairs and through to the gate area together about 11pm and we even boarded just gone midnight, we didn't actually take off though until 1am as we were apparently waiting for 28 missing people? they announced their baggage would have to be removed if they didn't turn up, but they didn't and ... they didn't! so i think they were just confused....

flight went fairly quick, bit of a tail wind and we landed 2hrs and 20 minutes later into a very white frosty and icy Luton airport, first time i worried about coming to a stand still!

we all stood up, don't know why we didn't get to disembark for about half an hour or more, they had no staff to move the stairs up to the plane... but the plane was actually rocking slightly occasionally so i think that the door may have been frozen....

and then problems of opening the hatch and removing the baggage... so we landed at 2:20am and i walked out to get a cab at 4:30am... a nice clean cut 2 hours!

i recognised a woman on the plane, hadn't seen her at the airport, she lives in Alhaurín and we had a good chat waiting in the freezing cold for our bags... four of us gang were still together and said our good byes.... like ships in the night...

so 13 hour delay, 2 hours arrival, as you do, before flight time... then trip to Tony's and i got here about 5am... now this is English time, so 6am in Spain, i had got up at 6:30am yesterday so i great 23 hour day...

i got up about ... whatever time Tony went to work this morning so about 3hours sleep, maybe, ready again for a bit of a nap i must say!

but i have walked to the local shops for milk and then cleared a bit of the drive! of snow! glad i bought my wellies that's for sure!

ok amigos... seeing Mom later..

TTFN
Marian

On my way...

back to Luton airport in the morning... only been just over two weeks, seems like months!

i am so panicking about the snow, its just started in the area and about 16cms is forecast, goodness knows what will do if the flight is either cancelled or diverted... dont want to think about it, the luton airport site says no problems yet, will keep on checking and pray in the morning the plane leaves for here ok, at least, i suppose i will be in England...

rain and sun today, and The Three Kings tonight made their route through town, showering the streets and people with sweets... Franco got into the car park a round about way, with so many streets closed.

ok, just wanted to give a quick up to date, speak to you soon, from England, watch for my Twitters...

TTFN
Marian

Well here it is amigos... 2010! and the sun is shining... the sky is blue, please stay that way now, we had an horrendous amount of rain, the reservoirs are so full now, they were full after last winters rain so we really didn't need any more!

did i tell you Barry bought me a mouse for my little note book here? i still find it confusing sometimes, i am typing away and then use the mouse pad, forgetting i have the mouse separate now and much easier for my hands to use with lots less pain. especially when playing solitaire, although that is forgotten now!

and i forgot to give him his sugared mouse! just remembered this morning... there they are in a little white bag!

yesterday afternoon i got a *Mafia wars* gift on facebook and checked out Café World... well that's it i am hooked well and truly, i couldn't or rather didn't understand all the stuff on facebook where people were logging their trials and tribulations from *Mafia wars* or *farmville* but now.... different story, i got on to it, told Franco and then he was, is hooked, we didn't even go to bed till nearly 1am last night, caught up in cooking and cleaning and food preparations!! and Franco even got up early knowing a dish was ready... yes this is very weird... but strangely good, takes your mind of your worries momentarily for sure... and that's not a bad thing sometimes.... the game is playing in the back ground now, i can hear the cash registers clanging away, ca'ching! earning me points and coins etc! dont know how long the addiction will last, i suppose back in England it will keep me from thinking too much...

mom cant wait for me to arrive now, understandable, only been gone two weeks, but seems like ages now... she fell down the other night, not badly, just sort of slipped down the closet door, she had her alarm round her neck thank goodness and buzzed them, a guy came out, picked her up, and later tucked her back into bed! hope she wasn't too cheeky eh! she said she made him blush!!!!

we went over to Coín this morning and to Mercadona, remember mercadona man amigas??? anyway... lots of cars on the road and the supermarket was heaving, obviously everyone had run out of food already! really???

Franco and i were even talking about our cafés in café world! its a good thing this addiction is harmless.........?

cant remember, Franco bought me some of those wonderful long sticks of sweets, red outside and white inside, they were so full of MSG... i looked like a strawberry! all over my face, down my neck, my scalp... and inside my elbows??

well i had to stay away from all things MSG over the last week, including pectin, gum, and a million other things that hide they're msg in other names! so i am looking better now, still a bit itchy though! and getting into the car earlier i got bitten on the hand, maybe a spider? but it made my fingers hurt!

a lovely warm day today... and so take care amigos, hasta luego...

New Year’s ReflectionsLooking back on the months gone by,
As a new year starts and an old one ends,
We contemplate what brought us joy,
And we think of our loved ones and our friends.Recalling all the happy times,
Remembering how they enriched our lives,
We reflect upon who really counts,
As the fresh and bright new year arrives.And when I/we ponder those who do,
I/we immediately think of you.Thanks for being one of the reasonsI'll/We'll have a Happy New Year!

By Joanna Fuchs

TTFN
Marian