Back home in Spain..
Looking at new views in a new perspective.

And feeling peaceful and happy, and able to breathe and.. just be..

That's it, that's all.. that all is everything..

TTFN
Marian

There is a great deal we never learn from anyone, about life, about living.

Stuff we see every day, maybe we see it and ignore it, maybe it's best we each learn for ourselves?

Some is inconsequential, unnecessary, it might never effect us, or we choose to ignore it.

Maybe we stop listening to people when they're older. Big mistake.

I am thankful for the hours upon hours I have spent supporting older people especially, they have so much knowledge so much history..

But still there are things I've not listened to...

Just listen please, this is very important: Time goes quickly, it does. Even if your days seem long now, sometimes tedious, or boring...

Time is passing.

And these ten years between fifty and sixty, (god helpful me!) have been the fastest yet.

They have been the most harrowing of my life, days in which each felt like a lifetime.

But it has flown past.

Grab life, by its... Okay maybe by its hand!

And hold on tight.

I know now there are things I won't get to do ..

I'll probably, lol, probably won't get to find my dad's two other son's, my two other half siblings... Really the chance of finding a Japanese half-brother born in WW2 in Japan is and always had been an impossibility, especially without a name or date of birth.

The other brother born in Nevada... Almost as difficult it seems and I have his mom's name and her next husband's name!

I have to let this go.

We don't learn about so much, we live it, but we must learn from it.

Notice every day, wake up every day and see it, spend time in the day, not on the next. Plant yourself for a moment and breathe...

If we get to take anything with us in death, it has to be our life..

And in life we waste so much time.

TTFN
Marian

Summer Solstice 2019

Ducks in the Arboretum

So today is 2019's Summer Solstice.. it's been so light so early, it's been keeping me awake.. in Spain we don't have these early light mornings or late light evenings, yes it's still the longest daylight day, but not like here in the UK.

Today lots going on in Nottingham, where I have been since Monday..

Unrelated to the Solstice we went into town for lunch, went to Chiquitos, I had a burrito with benefits!

Then late afternoon we went into the Arboretum and watched a show, performance.. it was a mix of acrobatics, and a couple of puppets...

Hard to explain, and not sure the photographs will help...

It took three people to bring the puppet to life, it was clever, just I suppose very different...

Pond in Arboretum

From there we walked into town, and around, and back again to the Arboretum... I have sore feet now.. but was a good day.. a very good day.

Yesterday we went to Highfields Park, we caught the tram, it's across town and out the other side.

The weather report said sun and clouds.. it was, but overall really nice, thought at one point a storm was headed our way.. but it passed over..

I walked a rope bridge..

And negotiated a slide...

We had a picnic, typical British picnic it must have looked too, a family sat eating under a tree, with looming clouds and staying put, just for the hell of it!

As we were packing up three ducks approached to try their luck!

She was a bit antsy when the bread run out and then us too!!

TTFN
Marian

Being a bee whisperer I am always on search of beautiful bumble bees... This plant was abundant, and buzzing'ly full of glorious bumble bees...

No shortage of the amazing creatures here, thankfully!  Oh and here is, was, the castle grounds in Berkhamsted!

I arrived as you know Thursday, into sunshine, a little at least, Friday was a pretty damp day, but I relaxed and got to know a new member of the family, Ruffles! And we went to see a show Friday evening in the St Albans Area, a comedian Mark Watson, he was excellent, we were third row from the front, and two of us were slightly stressed at being picked on! It didn't happen and was a great evening out.. Had Nandos first!

Saturday the weather started a bit iffy but picked up and we went out to shopping area outside of town, beautiful sunshine by then.  And family came to visit in the afternoon, a really good day...

Hadn't been around the Castle grounds since mom was in hospital, so over nine years ago; it hasn't changed, lol, not for a couple of centuries now maybe!!

Yesterday the weather was also good, we took a trip down memory lane, visited Northchurch and Berkhamsted. Our primary school, St Mary's, the houses we've lived in... Walked along the Grand Union tow path nearly as far as Dudswell, cut through the fields, marked footpath...

And back through to the main road near the cricket field and rec.

There is a rather large fish in the 'can you spot it' photograph above! Lol

My old primary school looks a bit sad out front!!! When did the tree go? Looks like the roots are still uplifting the playground?

TTFN
Marian

Just a few photographs from Sunday around town..

Right now I am sat in the departures area, home from home!

Off to 'Luton Airport' said in the classic TV advert styley of Lorraine Chase!

Just have my small overfilled bag, bit of a squish for some reason, not sure if I'm working or not, so brought a couple of more relaxed clothing items! Lol

Yesterday was a good day..

I know I was a bit down last post.. I'm okay, just a sort of dip! But I am good, I think I was so 'up' coming down was a given that might have happened.

And maybe the bird thing...

An hour before blogging, before going out and blogging once back I should add... A sparrow had come to visit me, he flew in from the hallway, did a 360° turn in the living room.. flew back out again! So I jumped up and followed him.. He had paused on the bed and I said he needs to go back out through the window (he must have come in through!).

I couldn't believe it! Lol.. Never before has a bird flown into the house..

So of course those 'things' about visits from the dead, spirits, angels.. all of that and more.. That's why I had to get out.

Then the next morning, Tuesday morning, a rat paused under my seat down at the bar.. before running off over the feet of the Once (lottery) lady!

I checked out what these 'signs' mean, because that's me, that's what I do..

And yes the bird can signify a loved one visiting, an angel visiting..

But also that it's a sign of taking flight.. using our wings to fly and do more, to begin new ventures, new horizons...

And the rat? Means new beginnings also...

TTFN
Marian (bird woman!)

Just now I took myself out, feeling a bit too tired, and not from walking, maybe a little too much of sitting down. I walk into town or around the local areas once I've driven there, but apart from world travels in my VR not much more than that..

So I just walked out, and up along the one-way street out towards Fuengirola roundabout... cutting down past the cemetery... always a bad memory trip past there.

I walked down from there to the bottom road and back around and up to the house.

Walking this route, as many, as all; all in Pippas foot steps, and never easier.

Each and every single time is like I am ripping something from my chest, my gut, my very being.

Not even sure to be quite honest what is even left there now, something taped up, something half dead and poisoned by grief and guilt, giving up Pippa.

The one who was with me throughout everything bad, the one who still loved me unconditionally.

I made it home before breaking down, the pain in my constricted throat trying not to cry in the street.

And now I am spilling my tears here into my blogasphere world, to you, who have had so much of them already. 

I'm sorry... If I didn't ... well, I don't know if I did'nt.

I took some photographs yesterday walking into town after the carboot sale I had visited first thing... so here they are.

Bamboo plantation

The roof of the bus station

The bus station

Time to eat, then hide away somewhere in my VR, safe in there away from reality.

TTFN
Marian

I have a strange little plant growing on the terrace, I didn't plant it... its a hardy little thing, strong in the face of drought!  And this year it has flowered, the plant is small and the flowers are tiny, exquisite...

Yesterday I filled the car with the big rubbish sacks and took to a bin on the way towards Coín.. I then went to La Trocha and had a wander through the stores there, it was quiet, being after 2pm and most people eating or snoozing at that time!

I had had a snooze already, I had had trouble sleeping the night before and then awake before 5am! I had my porridge about 05:20!! So by noon I was shattered! And slept for a couple of hours before heading out as above!

Everything looks great in the cave now, really pleased with my hard work, and the filler had dried the color of the wall in the living room so might not bother painting it! Not sure yet!

The top drawer in my kitchen where the cutlery is broken, the panel holding the drawer itself has come off, the attachment wasn't screwed in enough really, six possible screw holes and only two affixed, and I suppose it is the most opened and closed drawer in the whole house... so not a surprize it broke.. after about ten years though...

After it sitting on the floor for the last four months I have actually unscrewed the good bit to take as an example with me when I am out and about until I can get a new one!!

Last nights glorious sunset above... So beautiful, I am so lucky...

Today, I went down into town for coffees and then came home, the long route! I walked all the way up to the top road and walked back home that way! 

And since I have been home I have done nothing... well, until the last hour, when I prepared a quiche and thats in the oven cooking now...

I have read my book on the terrace alternating in the sun and shade... Its been quiet and calm and just so nice...

I haven't been in my VR for two days, so maybe later...

TTFN

Marian

My quiche!