Song today... Just heard it on TV and now here it is for your pleasure or otherwise..

Marmalade Reflections of my life 

Doctors appointment today, feel like I am taking steps back not forward.. 

Maybe walking backwards is preferable to forward! 

It all seems very familiar! 

Sorry, not sure if I'm being sarcastic or just plain fed up with all..

But seriously, being told I have high cholesterol and triglycerides then a doctor saying nothing wrong.. and another doctor saying something on an x-ray but not listing on the paperwork!!!??? 

All getting a bit past a joke now.

So! Terrible looking accident on the carretera today near the McDonald's turn off at Calahonda, two fire engines, two cars against the barrier and a queue of cars all the way to at least La Cañada!

Halloween approaches, my favourite celebration, clothes ready, makeup ready! 

Bring it on! 

M.

Last week not a good week, Tuesday woke up with migraine like headache, was and wasn't a migraine.. I didn't have the normal hallucinations and light sensitivity.. 

But when I moved about I was sick.. at one point coming back to bed I misjudged my angle and smacked my forehead on the cupboard! I fell back onto the bed and swore... I mean, seriously, it hurt.. but not as much as the pain already there.. although in the other side! I found the next day I had cut my head.. by the blood!!

I got up about half four, but went back to bed about half eight having slept on the sofa some of the two hours anyway..

The pain I must add when I was sick was the worse pain imaginable.. although I keep saying that, so either my threshold is getting worse, or the pain?

I missed s day in work, and luckily had the Wednesday off because I still felt bad.. then Thursday back in work but felt terrible, so off to hospital I went, three hours, twenty minutes on a drip, pain meds and a shot of something else.. who knows! They didn't tell me! 

Bloods etc and an x-ray, at last!

And home..

Was away for the long weekend.. still feeling pretty crap, and the mystery meds made matters worse...

Then my boiler stopped igniting enough to get hot water! This was fixed today, thankfully and luckily so soon.. the boiler needed de scaling.. 

And wow, it's working amazing now!

This morning I saw a woman on the main road down at Calahonda.. frightening! She was roadside, a man on the path, other side of the barrier was either holding her back from running into us! the incoming traffic.. or pushing into it! In passing so suddenly it was impossible to know... And I only hope it turned out okay..

It was about in the same place our family lost a brother and it was so awful seeing it.. was like a movie, unreal not possible to be seeing it.. 

Too many weird things happening just now.. like an episode of Final Destination, but in reverse.. 

Okay, changing subject..

Yesterday and work, felt like two days in one, went to work, then the warehouse, then the store again.. 

Day before, Monday? I got to wash the car, last time I did dirty rain fell again, but not today.. not even a quick downpour.. it was about 27° today at warmest.. and Monday night at 7pm still 28°!

That's from end of May, now nearing end of October and still hot hot hot... Been a humid summer, and neverending.. a few downpours here and there.. a few sand storms and our three days of falling ash from our beautiful mountain as it burned.. 

Today I sorted out two bags of unworn clothes, bags.. good day today.

M.

Took this a few weeks ago.. the apartments of Cabopino reflected in the stem..

Before I begin, this is a heavy Blog! 

But in no way does it mean I am down or worrying.. just sometimes I need to unload.. but hell, after nearly 20 years of Blogging I guess you'd know that!

Just I've been thinking, which is either a very good thing or a very bad thing.. I'm speaking into my phone to do this blog so forgive errors.

It was an episode this morning of a series that I'm watching and a ghost said how he realised at a point in his life that he had been wasting his life on nothing.. things that didn't matter in the grand scheme of things.. or not taking as much notice of the things that really do matter in his life so he changed his ways.

And it reminded me of somebody that I love and care for very much, who said that on their deathbed the last thought would be of wasting time that could have been better spent elsewhere.

We can never go back, we can never get that time back to spend with someone we love, we can't change what was.

And I know my last five years have certainly not all been wasted, of course not, I have had some wonderful amazing times..  treasured moments I will keep with me always..  but now I feel different, now I feel I am biding my time... But why? What for?

Maybe we all have this thought now and again, and maybe it's because I'm here in Spain 20 years, in my house on my own, maybe missed opportunities and I would not have been on my own now.. still... Franco told me not to be alone, but I guess I have also fought that hard, because of him.

I reckon I'm probably two-thirds through my life that would make sense, I'm 63 and I reckon I can do until 93! So yeah I've got 30 years left and I don't want to be looking back and saying the last 30 years of my life have been wasted.

I think change is coming, change needs to come.

I know I need to grab it and I need to move on, and I need to stop re-posting rubbish on Facebook that makes me think too much, I need to just stop looking back, I need to think of today today.

And I need to think of how I want to look back at myself in 30 years time if I'm lucky.

A woman died in a car crash on the outskirts of Alhaurín recently, she was 42, a car was on the wrong side of the road, head on collision and it took her life.. we never know what's ahead do we, and none of us should waste a moment.

M.

Yesterday morning parked up to pick up colleague.. all the way down to work is wanted to take photographs of a scenery so surreal... A sea mist had made it way through every ravine and valley and made Islands of each mountain and hilltop.. 

But only when I parked could I take a photograph..

This strange pic above, oil in tomato.. just a quirky thing to see..

My bottle of Cruz Campo the other evening..

 And this shot above I took a bit longer ago, maybe a few weeks? If you soon in.. left of the sun beam.. busy below half way up.. a glow.. very strange.. it almost looks like a fire... And when the sun rose a little further it flickered out.. 

I can't work out what caused the illusion of light there... Well below any chance of natural light.. didn't look like reflection, took the photograph through an open car window.. 

Just very odd.

M.