2020

I cannot comprehend it's been twenty years since the millennium.. Twenty years since everyone was panicking over the possible millennium bug! That 'they' thought would rash the internet systems around the world.

So many changes for all of us.. 

So many chapters of our lives.. new chapters, old ones, rereading.. reliving..

I don't want to be somber, but New Years Eve?

But I am me.

I raise my cup to you all, you've stayed with me through hell and high water, through sunshine and laughter, through it all.

Thank you... Here is 2020! Another decade awaits!

TTFN
Marian

I hate those phrases "... to die for" or "I nearly died when..."

Sorry, maybe it's just me, but actually, personally, nothing is worth dying for, except perhaps definitely love.

On a clock here it reads in Latin 'Tempus Omnia' which means 'All the time' which is a perfect phrase to be written on the face of a clock..

Whilst Googling though.. first 'Tempus omnia revelat' came up in the search..

Which means...

Time reveals all things and so it will...

TTFN
Marian

Fourth blog today..

And at last I have remembered to write what I wanted to!!

Two things, today my maternal grandparents married.. Their anniversary, one hundred years ago today, in Manhattan.. They had become American citizens already.

I wear my grandmother's engagement ring, it was bought in Tiffany's...

And once I knew the date of their marriage that was when I knew I would celebrate their 100 year anniversary.

That's today!

December 13th 1919-2019

I have been wearing it since my 16th birthday when my mom gave it to me, that was forty four years ago.. 44!

Looks no better numerical does it?

Where did those years go, when did I become me, or you you.. Or are we always 'becoming'?

When we eventually 'become' is that it?

I've been writing, (daily records at work), and I noticed yesterday, my mom's handwriting in my own.

Not all her letters, the M the B.. the R.. and now writing these here I see they're her and my initials.. at times.

TTFN
Marian

Naples

From fast scooter riders, with no helmets and carrying all sorts.. like Spain!

To Christmas lights! The makers of the Nativity scenes I imagine are open all year..

Shall have to return in the spring to check!

Narrow streets... Graffiti, everywhere.. I know maybe I shouldn't like it? But it's art and when it's good, it's worth looking at, and take it's claim as art...

This walls around a basilica, wouldn't have even known it was from three sides of the church..

On a slightly rough edge of the city maybe? Not sure, I felt okay.. but after dark maybe not walked around hereabouts.

Below the door to the basilica..

And it's beautiful interior..

More photograph from Naples..

Amazing archeture..

This qcode should work for you.. to see more..

Naples

Short video.. very short!

So much of Naples to tell, but no words.. what an amazing place is all I can say, I can't wait to go back..

Although this photograph is pretty much classed as bad photography I think.. I guess?

I have posted because I do like how it looks! It looks like a raging fire or hot white fire, the car entering the fires of hell perhaps!

It was a street lit with beautiful Christmas lights, but from up this hill, the colors were lost..

Lol this is near my son's house! Nothing to do with Naples! But so pretty! Above in the evening and below the morning! Taken last week.. no, yes! Sorry confused with days! Been at work for eight days, so yes, last week.

Back to symbolic horn of Naples! This was the largest I saw!

And these shell things, oh em geeeee! I want one now! Right now! Immediately please!

Vesuvius.. not the best shot taken whilst in a moving vehicle, but the nearest I got!

My grandparents village Quaglietta, again.. oh my my my.. also along with the pastry I wish I were there now..

The design on the saucer here below in a bar in our village... and there the image of Quaglietta...

And of course! I could not leave and go home without a canoli! 

It was amazing, just beautiful.. 

TTFN

Marian

Quaglietta

Notes from plane..

Okay, been an amazing few days in Naples, Napoli, Neopolis... From the original Greek name when they founded this amazing city..

Arrived here the day after I had flown into Malága..

And today flying back to Malága prior to my flight to the UK tomorrow to Luton.

What can I say..

Photographs will show you what I saw but not how I felt.. That can't be told or shown here..

The feeling here, what a buzz, like being out in a street party! The atmosphere is totally amazing.. the feel of the place.

It is alive.

I know there is a history of being told to be aware of theives bag snatches pick pockets.. but this can be said of everywhere..

Only two times did it seems a bit edgy.. on disembarking from the airport bus, only a ten minutes ride from the airport.. it seemed to be a strange area; could have been anywhere in the world to be honest.. So a bit disconcerting.

Then one time following a road to it's end and seemed to be in a different country!

But still neither time feeling threatened or worried.. although if it'd been dark that would have been a whole different feeling!!

There are a few symbols of Napoli, a predomanant one is a red phallic symbol, a bit like the ones we wore in the 80's of a horn-like shape in silver, or mine was anyways.

They are everywhere, all sizes from the tiniest to the most massive! In jewelry form, to statues, incorporated into any and everything! Key rings, clothing; just everything!

I went into a shop to ask! Trust me, I had to do it!! I said what's the thing about the red chilli shape everywhere.. He said it symbolises a penis.. lol.. yes I was speachless for a moment and said "okay .." then he added as in fertility.. and abundance.

Not sure who felt more weird for a while, me hearing the word penis said out loud in a shop, or him saying it, maybe he thought it would shock me, I was surprised definitely..

Then there is a figure of a man in clown costume.. the white clothes and then the black eyed mask.. he is also, as above on or in everything.

Then there is the Mbriana... I will link to this here.. she I saw in head form, and not sure yet if it's the same woman's head with what appears to be blindfold over her eyes.. saw this in lots of windows too. Found a link to it here I think...

There were amongst the regular stores, lots of antique type places, a mix of old treasures, some seemed more like junk, but there were treasures in there for sure.. Some spooky types, dolls with scary faces.. carved freaky things.. but all so intriguing!

Pasta pastries more pasta and more pastries! I feel totally carbed out! And already craving a canoli!

So much seen, too much to tell! Streets full of people, streets full of market stalls.. men making nativity scenery, men making the figures and animals and furniture to fill them.

Artisans of so many things, sitting making their wares right there in the streets.. beautiful.

Religious items, wood plaster metals..

Walked down underneath the city, walking where the Greeks first built, then the Romans.. layer upon layer.. amazing..

Walked to an Arab castle out past the port..

Stayed in a small duplex apartment right in the heart of the old city, coming out of a door into a street buzzing with scooters and people!

It was also Black Friday, the few days seemed to be a riot of sales! With Friday being the climax, although last night, Saturday the shops open late and people queuing to enter, with security men on the doors only letting a few in at a time!!

The highlight, not right word.. The absolutely best most wonderful news is visiting my grandparents home town.. Quaglietta.

At last Quaglietta, at last real home ground.. and I stood in the ruins of the medieval castle, where my grandparents must have been to, and stood barefoot to connect and I felt I did, like the hippy girl I am.

Went in a bar for coffee.. (and pastry!) Chatted to the man about who I was looking for, past or present.. Going back to ask about an address of a name I had, from the phone book... (Simples), another man, watching from the piazza said the bar was now closed, for lunch! Well, I suppose such a small village, and the bar served drinks coffees pastries, then I guess it would be quiet over lunch!!

Then started talking to the man.. he remembered Bonelli's.. he'd known them from school, from growing up.. he pointed to two houses they'd lived in... He himself had spent time in New York, Queens especially, staying with family... He spoke of 1911 when a big mass started from the village to America..

Started off the search at the cemetery, as one would.. found a few surnames that are in the family, but not Grasso from grandparents days and no Bonelli's at all..

If it's like Spain, bodies, and therefore names are removed after ten years if no money is paid for them to remain inplace..

There were some older stones and plates, but just about every single one, from old to new has fresh flowers on them, which is so amazing to see, and means those departed have family still who visit regularly.

I was walking amongst the headstones and graves, not as many as the normal way of burial there or here.. photographs of both.

And my foot slipped down on a flagstone.. I fell forward and saved myself, but as I tried to stand.. all in a split second really I guess, as my head came back up I hit it, hard, on a metal cross!

Nope, not funny! One little bit.. Well, okay, maybe just the tiniest little bit!

Had lunch in a restaurant which appeared closed, the chef came down to lead us up to a hotel dining area.. he said no menu and told us he would cook and what he would do..

And then, almost at the last, returning to the piazza taking photographs on the Bonelli's house.. the Bonelli Arch!! Amazing find!

So although no Bonelli's in the cemetery, or talked to, signs and words from someone who knew them there.. amazing.

Was sad leaving the village..

Sad leaving Napoli..

But I love home here in Spain.. and soon I'll be off again to work!

TTFN
Marian

Song.. Part of me...

Just watching an old favorite of mine, Thelma and Louise! Hope I'm not repeating myself for the upteenth time..

Love all the songs from this movie, great soundtrack.. great driving music...

Ballard of Lucy Jordan.. at the age of 37... I was younger than that the first time I saw that movie, heard that song.. crazy! Now I'm more than twenty years past it!!

That was yesterday.
Now it's today, left the placement..

And today.. I feel sad through to my bones.
Four years ago I died.. yes, I think I did, or some part of me did.. I've been reading my blog from four years ago, I know I shouldn't, it's the first time.. I shouldn't have done it, read it from November.. from diagnosis..

Wasn't a good idea, but I felt sad, and sitting on the trains today; and seeing the cars in the dark early this morning.. lights blazing dark roads rain.. made me feel very lost, and so on the train to Bristol I read my words..

Now I'm sat on a bed in another hotel, about to travel home again, before travelling again..

Should be feeling something else.

Litteraly just spoken with number two son and his girl, saw them also sitting on a hotel bed, but in New York City...

That's where I want to be! Lol right now.. back there, scattering the rest of my mom and just being there..

I have written half a dozen lines here, none of which I can publish without giving myself up.

For all the words I write I wonder if I am saying nothing.

Hopefully tomorrow, I will have dug myself up and out of the dark place I am in today.

Sorry friends. Not sure why I am like this, now, still..

M

My placement is nearing it's close; been a really good week.

Had a furry visitor occasionally as I slept, looks like my Pip...

Above a photograph of a print in the hotel before I arrived here.

I miss New York whenever I am away from her, which of course is 99.9% of the time! Lol

But when I took this I caught myself in the glass from the adjoining ensuite shower room..

I've mucked around with it..

Sorry! I have been artistic I mean!!
Looks a bit James Bond! But I'm wearing jeans and a sweater!

I keep finding myself gazing away long distance.. not so much out of a window, but that thing we all do when we travel in our minds I suppose.. (we do all do that don't we!!)

I can travel thousands of miles in a nano second.. in time and space!

If only it were that easy.. time, travel and life.

TTFN
Marian

For train WiFi!

So here's what i wrote yesterday..

So, in the plane, headed to Bristol from Malaga.  Sun's coming up, dark almost on leaving, beautiful sunrise through the right-hand window near me...

I am off to work, near Evesham, weather report says snow at Bristol airport this morning!! Flooding in Worcestershire.. So let's see what happens!

I am staying at an airport hotel for the night, long day and night, so hope the foods good, I am already hungry, my 4am porridge seems a long time ago, coffee is on its way up the aisle now, I can smell it!

I travel to the placement in the morning, a new one, near to a placement I've been to before, so will be great on familiar ground.

Reading a book, it's fiction, but even in fiction good sense can shine through. 'She has just decided planning is a great idea' and so it is.. Plans need to be afoot me thinks.

Last evening I caught a small amount of the British Children in Need campaign. Brave amazing kids, brave for themselves, brave for others, I always cry.. and help when I can.

One boy, born with cerebral palsy, autism and something more... He said, he'd been bullied, attacked.. awful. He's such a strong young man now, amazing.

He said he knows he's different, something about how we all are..

Most importantly he said he doesn't have to fit in.. We're not supposed to.

Truth...

It's not 8:30,  and I have my coffee and chocolate! A Twix, already, chocolate so early!  Okay, back to my book, the man next to me is snoring!

Paragraphs from the book.
“I can see that you’re hurting. That your life hasn’t turned out like you thought it would… but guess what? No one’s life does"

Pain was a given, she’d just realized. And sometimes, you just needed to give into it—no matter what form it showed up in.

“I think pretending that you don’t care, that you’re so open, is also a way of remaining closed.”
This paragraph above, not the pretending I don't care, but the rest.. It that me? Recently someone told me that, is it that? I know, we know! I have no trouble talking.. But maybe just talking can't help the scrambled mess in my head.

Okay, today now! On my train.. Will write when I can amigos...

TTFN
Marian

It's a gray old day right now at Bristol Temple Meads train station..

I am early for my train, of course, I stayed last night.. and most of the day at an airport hotel, and a very nice one it was too! The Hilton.  Nice room, had a good dinner.. maybe too much unfortunately, but having had breakfast at 4am, a wrap at about 11am, I was starving, therefore over ate!!

Had a venison and bacon pie, mash and peas.. followed by apple and blackberry crumble and custard.

My stomach is still telling me I am too full, but I had to have my porridge this morning, I'll be hitting the road running, as they say as soon as I get to work around noon..

Seems I haven't landed in Bristol and taken the bus since at least last October? Apart from the new bus, the whole journey was much improved. Without wishing to dis Bristol, because I actually always say how great Bristol now is! The centre the galleries etc etc.. the journey by bus had been awful, the worse visual journey.

But now it's great! Like a whirlwind extravaganza! Lols... I actually wanted to get off at each stop to look around and take photographs!!

And now I know, if I stay again that long at the airport, and if I haven't been awake since 4am after about 3hrs sleep.. I just might very well take the bus in and back out again! Well worth the ride!

I have jotted down notes on my Kindle, was going to wait and add to here, but not sure when I'll have the opportunity so posting this now.

Should have done that last night but was so tired.. I forgot!

TTFN
Marian

This morning down at Torremolinos, dark skies, parakeets...

Feels like a Sunday!

Probably never get used to seeing parakeets just flying around here, or perched on trees..

This was for me, quite unusual seeing so many just walking around on the ground!

Still they keep the beach looking good, even in the winter months...

TTFN
Marian

Strange quote maybe, especially for today, but it is what it is.

It is three years ago today, now...

That Franco met me on the steps of the hospital in Malága to tell me the awful results of the tests, and after nearly three years of pain.. to learn of the why.

Feels like yesterday the memory is so strong.

Saying no more for today, it won't help.
TTFN
Marian

Catching up.. on my lap top too! Need to practice my typing apparently, and of course need to use my spelling abilities more... or maybe not!!

Above is actually a photograph taken two years ago in Ronda! My buddy caught me just right!! Lol my head peaking out over the wall!!

Above Benidorm, this view fascinated me on the way up Spain towards France, and likewise on the return journey... It is like a US city, with old Spain either side, sort of magical and amazing city scape appearing.. suddenly out of nowhere, seen from a distance its like nothing you can imagine being in Spain! Strange too, because I don't kind of think about going to Benidorm as a destination for staying in, but seeing it from perspective, I think I would really find it amazing photography from down in those streets! Do you think??

Above and below photographs taken in Javea... Visited friends I have known for over thirty seven years near here... Time moves frightenly fast it seems these days... Weeks and months creep by until they blur and become years... Years un-reclaimable and gone as if with a blink of the eye...

If only we knew then what we know now...

Had great but far to fast visit and after what must be about nine years felt like no time at all apart, like all good friendships... Can't leave it nine years ago though, because... because it would just be stupid to do so!

Amazing coastal views...

These two photographs taken back in Peníscola

I had a very memorable visit to a hair dressers! Something I can probably count of two hands as somewhere I have visited in my whole life... Mmm okay maybe two hands and one foot now!!

Always given a coffee or some hot beverage offering.. but not at this one, it was late on in the afternoon, my appointed time had been changed because of an electric issue... well, Spain eh!

Whilst having my hair colored... phew, no scissors involved! I was offered and received gladly a glass of cava, (Spanish own type of bubbly!), he who was making my hair a beautiful color, and I, shared the bottle of cava!

He said once my hair was rinsed through... 'had I every had my hair straightened?' Erm... nope, no, never, thank you very much!!

So of course thats what I let him do! Straighten my hair!!! OMG!!! First he straightened it, then he curled it, well, made waves of it!

It did look good, just felt not me... my curls have defined me now I guess, after all these years... But, I have to admit, was nice to have had it done, a once in a lifetime thing I guess, unexpected... Like getting tipsy in a hairdressers!

     

Roughly translated: The day I understood that the only thing I am going to take is what I live, I started living what I want to take.

TTFN
Marian