Saturday in town, a beautiful sunny day, Cassie and I had been to the movies to see Wicked! And it was really great...

Extra special of course because I was with her!

Son and other niblet, as my mom used to call small children had gone to a friend's birthday party .. 

We were going to meet up afterwards, but the town was heaving, it would have been nice, but way to many people, and everyone lining up for food from the many foods stands... Smelt so good!!! Yorkshire pudding wraps!? What??? 

They looked good! 

We hung around a while waiting for the boys...  then walked awhile, son messaged to say too many crowds and they'd see us back home..

So we got on the tram and when we got off, all four of us were on the same tram!! 

Friday I entered a tv competition, If the call came through this morning you had to answer with the words 'Santa Claus is coming to town.'

No 'hello' just those words!

So funny, I was holding my phone in a store, about to pay for something when my phone started to ring, it was an unknown mobile number... I said to the lady, hang on please... I have to take this.. answering with 'Santa Claus is coming to town!' 

It was Amazon, or not, as seemed more scam than real... And an automated recording...

The woman looked at me like I was mad!! So funny! I laughed all the way home on the tram and walking around Asda! 

There was something I needed to do today involving needle and thread! And I decided trying to thread a needle is like trying to get a cat in a cat carrier basket! Every which way but through the eye!! 

Don't ask me what made me think of this the other day... I was watching something on tv, I think? But suddenly from the deep dark cobwebby recesses of my mind I remembered my mom's electric clothes dryer! 

A big metal container, these rungs, attached on hinges at one end, clothes would lay over and hang down... Or occasionally fall down!

When it was on it was toasty warm to stand next to... Absolutely wonderful!

How did I forget this! Used to sit next to it for warmth... 

I Googled it, and came across this example, it was on eBay! Says about 1940's! But mom had hers about 70's I guess! 

Wish I could remind her about it too...

Friday I looked around an apartment... I liked it, wasn't hundred percent sure about the area, but inside was lovely... They were leaving everything! And I mean everything, actually like I did...

I went to bed feeling positive about it, making plans in my head... 

Then woke up feeling the total opposite! I did plan, in my mind to be able to get a house, and I know it won't be as near as this apartment to son here, and definitely nowhere near my other son! 

But still not the reason I changed my mind... Just felt so different in the morning, always believe, if in doubt, don't! So, I didn't buy an apartment today!

M.

You can, you should, and if you're brave enough to start, you will.

Stephen King - Author

 

No snow now, this is from the other week... And I am taking the opportunity of the circle of doom preventing the next part of what I'm watching to materialize on the tv!

Last few days have been mostly wet weather, Saturday I walked down to Aldi, was very, very windy! But hey ho, it is just weather! 

Today some drizzle and wind! But sun is out now, and I've already done over five miles of walking! Checked on my phone a route to cover, and did it! Passing Aldi on my way back, I popped in and purchased a few items, was limited by the fact I only had a small carrier bag! And can't overload and carry! 

For some reason felt a bit emotional in there! Something wrong with my head! I say smiling.. 

I must share something... talking of my head, and holding way too much in it! Can't delete, can't download, most certainly and wouldn't want to erase... 

But this... This is beautiful, from Macbeth, and sent to me..

"Sleep that knits up the raveled sleave of care,

The death of each day's life, sore labor's bath,

Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,

Chief nourisher in life's feast."

M.

Hey it's 4am! Happily asleep and then bam! Wide awake and worrywart surfaces...

Yesterday I worried all the time, in fact I think I reached anxiety levels.

I get that I've really held back the stress of this year but yesterday things were getting out of the box, and that box is not only built of concrete wrapped in the world's strongest metal, chained with a padlock! It's then covered in webbing, old newspapers, a lifetime of birthday cards, unused socks and my mom's favorite scarfs! It's topped off with sixtyfive year old Christmas wrap, ribbon and a bow!

So you can maybe start to imagine, when things start to creep out through the cracks! They're very very scary! 

I walked to son's nearest supermarket, trying to fight back tears, had to force myself out and about because I felt so panicky about my situation, housing, car, what where when and mainly how in hell!!! Figures aren't matching up!

Then while trying to keep it all in, only just, I passed a girl walking a gorgeous little French Bulldog, he pulled towards me, and I said 'hello' he refused to walk on without a proper greeting! So I bent down and gave him a proper hello cuddle and then he jumped up, well, as far as his little legs to get him, soooo cute, and she apologized, said she is training him as an assistance dog... I said it's okay, I need assistance today! 

I really did need that fur baby cuddle.

And to be honest I got worse, most of the day.

Then tonight I fell asleep okay, thankfully and now, wide awake writing, because it helps.

I need to keep that box of tricks I keep under wraps buried deeper! Just don't know how... 

M.

Had to look for today's quote in my emails..

Perfect one I guess! Of course!

Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now, doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine later. Don't lose faith.

Trent Shelton - Football Player

Above, moss on a post! And moss in a (Blog) post!

A forest walk on a misty afternoon in Bewdley.. with a small old fur baby... 

And beneath in the park also in Bewdley..

Can you zoom in and see the words?

'We are known forever by the tracks we leave'

Very true..

I am writing from a train, second of the day and off to Nottingham, it was jam packed when I got on in Birmingham New Street.. full train, we were like sheep and wolves boarding... Sadly not a wolf today, us who were waiting longest were shoved back by the rush of the sudden appearance of latecomers! 

Anyways I wedged me myself and I into this window seat .. need a better bag, bigger possibly, or just one with more capacity.

I have my brilliant headphones in, and listening depressingly to Leonard Cohen.. 

Everything I look at on the many social platforms I'm on .. probably most of what I see I shouldn't like or repost, these things hold us down, hold us back even.

I have always held onto the past with all my life as it is, without the constant feed of memories, which I have no problem remembering any way!

Delete them then? Hahahaha hilarious! 

No!! I enjoy reading my friends and relatives latest news... Being so far away from so many of them...

And Insta I like putting up photographs... Of course!

This time of year, is getting to me.. and what a year..

Selling the house ✓ I had to leave it, I was so sad there... eventually...

Leaving my job ✓ I may have complained, occasionally about the customers, but I loved going into work and my colleagues and some of the customers.

And of course moving countries ✓ again! That's three now! Leaving is the worse...

I dreamt I was in my house last week, my house as it was with my things and looking exactly as it is.

When I used to dream of my house when I lived there, it always looked more cave like! 

Anyways, although the dream was okay, it made my heart ache afterwards. Awake.

Had three lots of sad news this week, so that's my three in a row.. 

I still have the cold, which is just in my lungs now so hoping that'll budge in the next week! Haven't coughed the whole time on the train which is good! Still scared of coughing in public! COVID damaged us in many many ways! 

Can't wait to get back to son's, going to the store for chicken and other bits to make chicken soup! Always the right answer for colds! 

Have more to write I'm sure, but feeling a bit sad.

I'll buck up! Must be my hormones! Oh no! They've upped and left many moons ago I'm sure! 

Next stop mine! Well nearly! 

Adiós amigos...

M.

One of the happiest moments in life is when you find the courage to let go of what you cannot change.

Unknown

Wonderful seeing deer out and about, just like where I grew up.. 

And yesterday a walk through one of many Wyre forests hereabouts.. unexpectedly a fee of £4 for two hours! Which seems a little steep so found another forest car park for free parking..

Shame really, if it was a pound more people would stop and come again and again .. but not at £4! 

Anyways had a wonderful walk where we did stop, and it's a forest I know well from when I used to bring a client here for a walk and breathe of fresh air .. 

It rained a little, on and off between the sunshine.. was lovely... Doesn't spoil a forest walk at all, all that was missing was a fur baby!

Today a visit to Bridgnorth..

Not been here for about three years..

Another beautiful day..

The funicular railway here, went on this last time, down to the lower part of the town..

Sun was at a very awkward angle! 

But, managed to survive! 

Very beautiful town, lots of eatery's and individual stores .. 

M.

When you choose to collect experiences rather than things, you never ever run out of storage space.

Joshua Becker - Author-Writer-Philanthropist-Pastor

Beautiful walk along the canal in Kidderminster the other day.. 

After the snow, and cold, just beautiful to breathe in the wonderful cool fresh air..

Lots of dog walkers and even a couple of barges passing by ..

M.

We cannot solve a problem with the same mentality that created it.

Albert Einstein - 1879-1955

 

The world changed again today

My dear dear friend Peter Maddocks passed today..

Drinking a glass of wine this evening in his honor..

And I am feeling the loss of this man in my life..

The books we did together, the many many books..

Such a life and history.. 

Fleet street cartoonist, children's cartoons on tv.. the books .. the books.

All I can today, I feel very sad

M.

Some very strange disturbing dreams last night, about a dearly loved friend of mine.. three quite separate dreams. I tried to work out some meaning of the last one, that seems the clearer, he is young and healthy and selling off his van, a huge heavy solid ancient mace!! And other very random items!! 

Then this in the bathroom when I came downstairs..

Feathers in unexplained places! Very very odd! 

Quiet day today, just chillin and relaxing..

While ago... Son was upstairs awhile with the niblets, as my mom called the boys.. and hadn't signed off on Overwatch so I had to wing it there awhile.. I got his character killed a couple of times.. and damaged his cred a little, maybe , definitely! Couple of players were like 'what's happening with him!' Not knowing his mom had taken control, or rather not actually very well, and under instruction from other son still playing! So funny!

M.

That you were sleeping doesn't occur to you until you are awake.

J T Caine - Writer Poet

Thursday, not the Arboretum, just more photographs from Wednesday... 

I got the tram and passed through the city and got off near Dunelm store.. just had a wander around then walked to B&M, got a few bits from there.. It was the biggest B&M store I've ever seen! I couldn't walk around it! Especially knowing I still have to walk back to town!

The footstool in Dunelm, I have to show you! The lid lifts up, not a box, or storage.. No... I is a single bed! Absolutely brilliant! 

I walked down to the canal and back into town from there.. 

Took a great shot of the apartments but can't post here yet, waiting to see if it gets picked up on a site I sell photography on, it'll never make me rich,.but one has sold four times!! When they're licensed on there I can't upload anywhere else.

Anyways! I got the tram home from town and not much else! 

Yesterday I went to the park and walked it's length, then walked right and up along the top through the trees, still overlooking the playing fields and carpark area..

I was watching a man skipping, and as I approached him, thought how us girls skipped so much when younger then stop! But now in the gym you see guys skipping! I have a skipping rope in a box, in storage! Used to go on the terrace and skip! Once the people in the town hall had all gone home!! 

So I get alongside this man and he stops and says 'you want a go?' and I do! I took his rope and skipped! Just for a few minutes! Hilarious eh! So funny, but also such good fun! He wasn't a young guy, probably about the same age as me, you know, 50's! I say laughing!

Afterwards I thanked him, turned my music back on and continued my walk! Feeling very happy for having skipped!

When I was back I tidied up an area some workmen next door had messed up in my son's front yard! 

Unearthing worms and centipedes, and a few different sorts of spiders! Quite a collection of wildlife going on there unseen!! 

M.

Nothing is so painful to the human mind as a great and sudden change”

Quote from Frankenstein by Mary Shelley

Yesterday I went to the Nottingham Contemporary Art Gallery..

No photographs, it says no photography..

The artist Donald Rodney.. link is from The Guardian newspaper.

Well worth the visit if the artists works come near you! A young artist and if you read about his works, he made a huge impression in his short life.

And a huge difference in this world in a short time..

After the gallery I wandered around for a while..

Had no real purpose, which is nice.. 

Stopped to talk to promoter in the street, poor guy didn't get a word in!

But instead he got a pocketbook version of my life!!! He asked!! Bless him!

I should have a government health warning sticker on my head! Do not start a conversation with this woman, you'll hear more than you ever thought you needed to!

And today! Walk to and through Nottingham Arboretum.. 

Beautiful at any time, but more so in autumn.. and most of the leaves have fallen already.. gorgeous..

Of course me being me, got a little sad over a bird! He was alone, and quiet and I whistled at him... He looked a bit more lively when I walked off to the next aviaries.. Oh yes, he is in an aviary.  Not randomly in a tree! I am not talking to random birds flying about!! Honestly!

Then he started singing! 

He was quiet when I went back, but he flew back to me, and started to sing again... So sweet...

He is a Diamond Dove.. It says the birds here have all come from people who could no longer look after them, for whatever reasons..

He should be paired up or in a small flock.. Google says..

'If you only keep a single dove then after a period of time the bird will probably bond on you. Doves are very social and thus have a need to be close to a living being. Indication that bonding has taken place are wing flicking and kissing.'

M.

The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes.” ― Arthur Conan Doyle

A David Gilmour song today, just this.. nothing more..

Scattered 

Take my arm and walk with me

Once more down this dusty old path

The sunset cuts the hill in half

Our shadows stretch back to touch the night

The light's fading, you say

But these darkening days

Flow like honey

These days slowing down

A whole life in a glance

The clearest light shines in the darkness

Shining on me

And we're still doing this dance

One step at a time

As the days slip by

As smooth as glass

The moments pass

And all these precious things you gave

That I've been holding in my hands

These grains of sand

A man stands in a river

Pushes against the stream

Time is a tide that disobeys

It disobeys me

These days slowing down

A whole life in a glance

The clearest light shines in the darkness

Still shining on me

And we're still doing this dance

The Moon and the stars

As the days slip by

As smooth as glass

The moments pass

And all these precious things you gave

Falling through my hands

These worlds, this scattered sand

I stand in a river

Push against the stream

Time is a tide that disobeys

And it disobeys me

It never ends

Written by: Charlie Gilmour / David Gilmour / Polly Samson

It's just a color, and behind it the sun shines gloriously!

It has been six days now since I wore my shades... And would like, appreciate some of those golden rays! but, non the less, there has been no rain!

So eyes wide open, bring it on day!! 

The weather and us, we are, or can be, the same.

We hide away much of ourselves behind the clouds.. clouds of laughter or straight faces, masking our feelings or true color's... Like the old Cindy Lauper Song..

To feel safe? To protect?

I think some people have built such walls they become so impenetrable they can neither be reached or even know now how to break free...

Or never want to... risk it.

People, we keep ourselves hidden so much, our brightness our sunshine.. 

And these days are not like past days, or places? We'd always say 'hello' always a smile or nod 'good morning' always the smile that could be the only one someone else might see that day.

I miss the J's at work, so much it brings tears now as I write, we were always shining working together..

Maybe that's it, we burn brighter together. You can see it when people do that, they spark of each other and it's wonderful to see, to feel that.

M.

November 7th 2015.. the Pipster.. 

I guess it'll take a while to get through all the clothes I bought over with me, pulling on sweaters that smell of home, that familiar smell..

Thank you Google!

'If the hippocampus deems the smell important — if it were connected with a particularly emotional moment, for example — it can file the information and store it indefinitely. Even decades later, the same scent can bring the memory and emotional salience of the moment flooding back'

This is so true isn't it... I have locked in the smell of blackberries freshly picked and soaked into the sleeve of my handknitted sweater my mom made for me, the only thing, the only one.

I seem to have posted the above, with quote, yesterday without actually finishing it! 

Hope not too many people noticed as I hadn't shared it yet!

Tuesday I came back to sons in Nottingham, didn't see Jasmine on the train! That would have been way too weird! Good journey though, nice and easy, Kidderminster to Birmingham Snow Hill, then a quick walk through town to New Street.. 

I passed the Christmas tree and the Christmas village being built ready for celebrations.. much the same as here in Nottingham.. 

Then it was down to board for Nottingham, waiting on the platform (feel like bursting into song here), this song... It's sad, deep, meaningful, and if that's not your bag baby don't go there!

Okay, back in the room everyone!

Then to Nottingham, I walked into town rather than jump on the tram directly here, for some fresh air and exercise.

Birmingham New Street, the platform! Laughing to myself is where I left the room! A train was sat there waiting, engine running! Diesel! Air quality zero, we were all coughing! What's going on! Underground with little aircon or noticable aircon I guess? Ughhh! Bad! That's why I needed the fresh air!

That was Tuesday!

Wednesday I walked to The Range in the afternoon, went into town in the morning for another ECG! 

And at some point this week the doctor started me on some more meds for my BP, not replacement, just more!

Was expecting some of the common side effects, nothing, weird mindset I know, but no side effects, so think are they actually doing anything at all? Keeping close eye on BP last couple of days... Nothing yet!

Thought I'd check, as I write this, as I sound extra hopeful for effects to come into place... Dr Google says 'immediately' for some BP meds, for mine? Says hours! So, that's not good is it? Nothing 'appening 'ere!

M.

Time isn't the main thing. It's the only thing.

Miles Davis - 1926-1991 - American Trumpeter

Halloween 2024...

 

Absolutely wonderful evening at the station in Bewdley.. spookiness and creepiness in every nook and cranny!

The main attraction was coming in though, trains full of passengers, dressed appropriately in darkened carriages... to witness the displays on the platforms and the people dressed up and scaring the bejesus out of them! 

Was chilly but not too much so, perfect weather for the night of all hallows...

And Saturday late afternoon! Football! 

At the Molineux stadium in Wolverhampton! 

Great viewpoint and good match, 2-2 in good! 

Sunday did some pottering around, and Monday went to Worcester, not sure if I've been before, but now I know I have, beautiful ancient city, wonderful cathedral.. 

Had lunch in a Witherspoon's, a Witherspoon that seemed not unlike a TARDIS it went back and back and back and...

Always drawn to a cathedrals crypt... I don't know why!

M.

The absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence.

Price Pritchett - Author-Business Advisor-Speaker

Wonderful breakfast this morning with son and babes.. at Bills in Nottingham..

Backpack loaded and off to beautiful Bewdley.

My train was already on the platform, I checked first, that it was my train, and double checked, 'Are you 100% certain?' I asked, he said yes, he's driving! The train was going to Cardiff, also sounded like not a bad idea to keep going, as I love Cardiff! 

But Bewdley definitely calls louder for me.. 

After a few minutes on the train a girl came past and sat near me, we immediately became good friends! Jasmine! From here there and everywhere, same as me! She's spent six months in Asia, couple of years in Jersey prior to that, and named Liverpool and Nottingham as 'home.'

We didn't stop talking until the train pulled off and other people got in our way...

Leaving that train here in Birmingham New Street, we wished eachother good luck and hugged goodbye..

A new friend, off to Leamington Spa! 

I'm still sat on this train now, but better than the platform!

Just a couple of stops and off at Droitwich Spa then Kiddy next!

Bare with... You won't know but holding this to post later..

On another platform, waiting for third train.. woman got off a train and is leaning on one of seats in this shelter..

She is sobbing her heart out, talking to herself, about her life ..

I am trying not to get involved, I always involve myself and I found unfortunately, it isn't always the right thing to do ..

I don't mean to sound hard or cruel, because that's not me, but I can be naïve and some of what she's saying doesn't sound right, true... And she's saying how much she has drunk..

So biting my tongue and hoping she finds help from someone who can really help her..

Because I already feel like crying with her now, and that's not a start in helping, it's a start down the way down to where she is... And she sounds like she's in a very dark place...

Just to add, she's got on the same train as me, shouting and swearing on the phone, and to anyone else within hearing distance.. I did the right thing.

M.

January 20th, 2020 Hartlebury..

Why? Just because I came across it!

A good friend sent a photograph from 'home' this week, I replied 'that had been my view also...

Familiar to me as my own face in the mirror...'

But, catch up needed! One week here, where did I close? 

Oh okay, a little depressingly.. 

Two photographs from the flight... Full moon, and the second very very low cloud/fog.. 

You'll have to zoom in on that second one to see the tops of wind turbines!! 

Hang on I'll do it now, in a minute!! 

That's how low the cloud was! 

So I landed! Great flight, except for a beverage spillage! Stewardess gave me my tea and it slid straight off the table thingy and onto my lap! I quickly caught it though and only a little leakage, luckily, as very hot contents!! 

In my haste to catch it I sort of threw or dropped my card ready in my hand to pay with .. 

And had to get ladies behind me to search for it!

The day before I'd had two cans of coke explode in front of me so a second beverage incident didn't come as a shock! There was a third and now it seems to have gone from my mind?? 

Since I've been back I've sorted out lots I needed to, and I have done it all, in a week! 

I have made two trips to the lockup where my possessions are residing!

The first journey I went, got a case and brought it back! Long haul back, only seven minutes but uphill and I literally couldn't breathe when I got in! Had to sit for half an hour, before opening the case, only to find out that sods law was about to come into effect, to find only boots and bags!! 

So today, we went again, better selection of things, I opened cases and took what I needed! Much better idea, and son pulled the case home!

And Christmas is coming to Nottingham! Watched them start with the big wheel the other day!

M.

Leaving

I guess this is it; me leaving.

At the gate now, already. And feeling it, it's not a golden gate, it's gray, and dark outside.

And I am missing... everything and everyone already.

But where I disappear on this side I will reappear in England!

And I am only 2.5 hours away.

That's me.

Stress levels 99.9% and holding.

 M.