Hey it's 4am! Happily asleep and then bam! Wide awake and worrywart surfaces...

Yesterday I worried all the time, in fact I think I reached anxiety levels.

I get that I've really held back the stress of this year but yesterday things were getting out of the box, and that box is not only built of concrete wrapped in the world's strongest metal, chained with a padlock! It's then covered in webbing, old newspapers, a lifetime of birthday cards, unused socks and my mom's favorite scarfs! It's topped off with sixtyfive year old Christmas wrap, ribbon and a bow!

So you can maybe start to imagine, when things start to creep out through the cracks! They're very very scary! 

I walked to son's nearest supermarket, trying to fight back tears, had to force myself out and about because I felt so panicky about my situation, housing, car, what where when and mainly how in hell!!! Figures aren't matching up!

Then while trying to keep it all in, only just, I passed a girl walking a gorgeous little French Bulldog, he pulled towards me, and I said 'hello' he refused to walk on without a proper greeting! So I bent down and gave him a proper hello cuddle and then he jumped up, well, as far as his little legs to get him, soooo cute, and she apologized, said she is training him as an assistance dog... I said it's okay, I need assistance today! 

I really did need that fur baby cuddle.

And to be honest I got worse, most of the day.

Then tonight I fell asleep okay, thankfully and now, wide awake writing, because it helps.

I need to keep that box of tricks I keep under wraps buried deeper! Just don't know how... 

M.

Had to look for today's quote in my emails..

Perfect one I guess! Of course!

Don't confuse your path with your destination. Just because it's stormy now, doesn't mean you aren't headed for sunshine later. Don't lose faith.

Trent Shelton - Football Player