The Shared Road... sharing...

This morning as I rushed out with the Pipster and looked across our beautiful Guadalhorce valley I thought... to all intense and purposes this looks like just another day....

No different to any other, its different to me.

We had a bad night last night, and evening really.

Franco seems, no, Franco is, very disorientated, confused... words and actions... he is craving sweet sugary drinks and lots of them, and what goes in must come out, and he is even more tired than normal just now... we were awake a great deal of the night and up very early... These really are all signs of diabetes which can be a big factor in pancreatic cancer.

We have a nurse coming this morning, should have been going to see the consultant in the hospital, but no way.

Franco said yesterday "Its going to get worse before it gets better..."

The road through Malaga, making memories...

View of Málaga Cathedral... Our small bijou apartment was only a few minutes not only from calle Lorios but also the Cathedral... a magnificent building, I actually have never been inside of!

I took my proper camera with us, feel like a tourist in Málaga... well I suppose if your not living there, or not working there... Not gone purely for shopping, a tourist is what it is!

A pretty dumpster nearby to where we were staying, a reclying one no less!

We left on Valentines Day, not in our plan, or booking even, but it was getting late in the day, or early in the evening? We had been out for a few hours earlier and were tired, I suggested we came home, we had to be home earlier than we had expected for a meeting with the nurse at our house on Wednesday and I was worrying about rushing about first thing in the morning and in the rush of both workers and travellers... (I must admit also, I was worried about our car, and a second night left parked in a car park just on the out-skirts of the city...) Anyways, after a couple of times of me suggesting going home, we did... we got back to our car, popped our bags in and had a meal where we were... then came home, we were tucked up cosy, fire roaring and watching a movie by ten pm... Very quiet without the Pipster of course!

After the visit with the nurse on the following day I went to get her... she was just the same as if we had been gone for a fortnight!  I also got gas and took them both home!

Franco and I had to do a re-visit to the local social security office in Coín yesterday, we had all the paperwork, originals, copies, done deal... Or so I thought, we arrived, parked okay, got a ticket, and within five minutes in we went, the head of department... did we have everything? No I didn't copy the document itself!  Needed two copies, NOTE to SELF for a years time!!! TAKE TWO copies of THE document!!!

We went into the town, parked, walked to a papeleria copied the document, twice, for each of us, I even got all the rest copied again, well you know... just in case!

Back to the S.S. offices, parked again, lucky twice!  Back in, got another ticket, and this time had to wait a while, all the people with appointments had priority, of course, only right... and a lady who was having trouble with the machine... in the end I went up and asked if I could help her and her husband, did they have an appointment booked? yes they said, was she inputting the correct number? yes she said, I looked.... Mmmmm no, she wasn't, poor woman was trying to insert her health care number!!! So after someone else also told her the same thing, she got her handbag (from the car), and tried again... NO booked appointment had been made and someone else helped them book appointments over the computer there!  Although of course, they could have just taken a ticket!!!

And in this time, I thought I better sort out our now totally messed up paperwork, and I had a panic!  I thought I had left both our passports and my new residencia card in the papeleria shop! Then I found them in our bag!! But it was too late, my head was banging, my neck was like a rock and I felt sick!!

I just panicked, big time... I said to Franco as I was sitting there throwing everything around "that's it, I can't do this, I can't do anything now, I can't cope..."

But I collected myself together, then the paperwork, Francos and mine, and when our number came up in we went and out we came five minutes later, job done, paperwork done, sorted for another year...

We then did a quick shop around Aldi and home...

There is something else, don't know if it will help writing it down, or just make everyone think I have totally lost the plot... but its not a new thing, its not just me, we all have coping things, habits we do when in a bad place... don't we, don't you? Maybe its smoking, running, sleeping, drinking too much alcohol, over eating or under eating, self harming even, in various forms, cutting or making oneself sick... I am sure there are many other ways of hurting ourselves, or doing something which is the only thing we can do to have some sort of control over our lives when we have nothing left we can control, when really big things in life have taken control and we are left failing around with nothing to hold onto anymore, and we have only one thing we can do to be in control... shall I leave it here!!

Okay okay! Well I suppose now I've scared the hell out of you, all I do is I cut my hair!! LOL... My hair has been getting real long over the last few years, maybe six or seven... Last time I got my hair cut was when my mom was diagnosed with cancer, for the second time... I got it cut quite short for me... Went down the hairdressers and chop chop chop! And those of you that know me, know I don't visit the hairdressers! I can count on one hand the amount of times I have been to the hairdressers! Well, okay maybe just into my second hand now and getting it colored when we lived in Wales!

So I really have the need to cut my hair, I just want to cut it all off! I cut it the other day already! Just a few inches, it just looks daft now!  But it was maybe getting a bit rough around the ends... anyway I have seen a hair cut I like, and I showed a friend the picture yesterday, I don't think she was impressed (LOL), and is going to ask the lady who does her hair... and I might be going with her when she goes next time, just for a consultation, if people haven't cut my type of hair then I am not going to be the guinea pig!  You can't cut my hair wet, its about six inches longer when its wet and I will end up with no hair if they try that malarkey!

Otherwise I will just pick at it, hack at it, a bit here and a bit there ... its what I do, I can cut my hair!
LOL my name is Marian, I cut my hair off!

Now... where's the gin?

The bitter sweet red roses of San Valentine...

At every turn here in Málaga today, red is all around, blood red passion red red red... While our hearts bleed red tears of loss...

Franco turned to me on a bench as we sat soaking up some needed winter sun "... should buy yourself an eternity ring..." and there, as now, my tears run from my eyes and heart... You see Franco has been looking for an eternity ring for me on and off for past two or three years, just not seen 'the one...'

Our two days here in one of our favourite places is going fast, and slow...

Sun came out once we got here yesterday and stayed thankfully, it's been raining for a few days...

Forever thankful to a dear dear friend for this gift, it was so nice last evening wandering the streets, knowing we didn't have to travel back and could just be 'home' in minutes.  So many people pass through Málaga without a thought, transit only... Such a shame, it's beautiful here, we're staying in a 19th century building, it's just beautiful, it's not quiet, not peaceful... It's city status all night! When the restaurants below said good night to their last customers it was time to clean up! Bring in the outside furniture, tables chairs awnings, scraping and banging... Then, around 2am down came the bin men, wheeling the refuse dumpsters away and back again empty, followed by the street cleaners! Then it was the early bird workers going out, doors slamming and voices shouting! LOL...

I have taken several photographs of this bar front... Different quotes every time of course!

Remember I always used to put a quote at the end of my Blogs?

Here is one from, and for today...

"The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes."
Sherlock Holmes

Our forever road...

Thank you...

We have an elephant in the room..

Franco and I talking as we always are, we often talk about going to Sardinia again, we loved it there and often recall different aspects of our visit in 2005 I think, yes I'm sure...

We were just talking about Alghero, we were there for a few nights after leaving
Sassari, and a door was banging for ages... In the end I investigated and found an open room at the top, the room we'd been in when we first arrived... A window was open the door bang bang banging!!! I shut it! We were the only people in the whole place, with no reception or any other facilities we really were alone there!!

Anyways... Franco said next time we go we... and then maybe we both remembered we might not be going again... and knives turned in my heart, my stomach...

It's like someone, something... is blocking our view on our future, we have no clear view, we have every day now, 24 hours a day, we have the here and now, our forever now...

Bristol

A couple of photographs I took in Bristol last Saturday, the park on the right as I walked down towards the river and I noticed this plaque on a house there on the square...

First American Consulate

And the ceiling above where I sat waiting for my flight home from Bristol airport...

Bristol airport

Just having a practice at Blogging on my phone; I'm not going to take my laptop, it's not too heavy, but I just can't be bothered... I'll have my Kindle for (small) TV, this and that do internet, I was taking the camera, but also can't be bothered to take that either, it's this little phone that will do it all, and its counterpart I also always carry with me, one can never be too careful...

Neither of us sleep well, for obvious reasons, and last night I tried to knock myself out! Unintentionally of course, although I have read somewhere nothing happens unintentionally... Like when I broke my little toe!?! Oh what happened? I got back into bed and misjudged it, slammed my head into the wall, above my right ear on that but that sticks out, sort of level with the forehead... Well on me anyway, it's the same on the other side, not a lump :-) but it still hurts! I think along with the virtigo which is getting better every day, that something is telling me not to go anywhere... Well, sorry universe, I have to...

Now... Going to upload a photograph here!

It's worked! The photo bit usually does, it's trying to get the next paragraph to start on the left not central, I'd have to have finger tips the size of Barbie's to hit that bar easier! If I zoom in to get the choice more manageable, the box disappears somewhere unattainable! So it's miniature or forgot it!

For future reference, if I can't get it straight off I won't be bothering!

So, I'm packed, the bag is light, and if I haven't got it, I'll have to be without it for three weeks, just need meds today from chemist, for Franco and me!

We have dog food for a month, more water than the resivoir!

A Kings cake to finish! (Just kidding). Freezer is stocked..Tank of fuel for Franco to go hither and thither! We used one of the many new gas stations recently popped up, no shop, no staff and very cheap fuel, even takes cash, you put notes (only), or credit cards in, the amount of filling up, then it gives out the fuel, if there's insufficient space for what you've paid for it credits your card or with cash prints out some sort of credit note? Not sure how that works...

Friend is going to walk the Pipster every day for us, shout out to Franco.  Friends will pop in, call, and or see him about town and coast. All bases covered... Apart from me being where I want to be, here, at home.

See you from England amigos!

TTNF

Marian

Over the years, many it feels now, I have completed the journeys through Blooming Human and Gratitude, on-line groups, 40 days usually of emails filled with positivity and thoughts on life... They have helped me through many parts of my life since, but along with the Inspirational quotes I have, had, been posting daily from my email box to my Facebook page... these things seem rather fruitless, empty words... I am a positive person by nature, always finding the good out of the bad, always happy and laughing, always a smile... I find myself now just with nothing much on my face at all... a real bad screensaver face permanently etched there, here... People who I would normally see are having to call to me, or come across the street, or shout at me.. period!

Three mountain shots taken up at El Chorro

I usually see everything, things people wouldn't even normally see, as so many of my photographs prove to the point!

Today I spoke with a friend on the phone on my way into town, I was in the Plaza Legion, I must have looked strange from anyone watching me! pacing about, holding the rail, stepping from ledge to ledge like a big kid!  Talking, crying, talking... then she wouldn't leave me until I stopped crying so I recalled a moment from long ago, and we laughed and we hung up the line...

Next a stopover in friends shop in town, cup of tea and chat and some strength gathered along the way, and in the street stopped to talk to a friend, we normally see each dog walking, and I know, now she is reading this! LOL! Welcome!!

I do some of the people who read my Blog, but going by the mail I receive the majority I do not... You guys have been with me some time now... This one has been going ten years... no eleven now!!!  and I blogged before that on Blogspirit, but I think its gone now, which is sad, also a Blog I wrote on behalf of my step dad was on Blogspirit and I cannot gain access to that one either... I am guessing I started back in 2003 then...

Flowers by the Kiosko

Eucalyptus tree

We came out of the bar before lunch and my camera was free to live and possess what my eye came upon.. so the flowers and the eucalyptus, I love eucalyptus trees, the height of them, the bark, the smell... and the memories of them... lining the road near my uncles Charlies in Yonkers...

Roaring fire in Kiosko

 This was the fire crackling and spitting throughout our lunch... should have actually recorded it shouldn't I?  Would have been more effective maybe!

Wind turbines in the clouds

and the aforementioned wind turbines in the clouds....

This taken from my secret location!!  lol

Well, what have we been doing since last posting? was new years eve... and today is the 3rd!  I sadly still feel the memories strongly at this time seven years ago... and it was exactly seven years ago on Friday when I am travelling to Bristol airport that I flew to Luton from Malaga, to get to my mom urgently, I thought it was today, the 3rd, but just reading back to then, it was the 6th January 2010... I can't believe its seven years, I wish I could fly over there now, get to Watford hospital and find my mom still there, boy would she be annoyed with me!! lol... but just to talk to her, get comfort from her...  Seven years...

Anyways, yesterday Franco woke up with the need for [more] suckling pig!  So off to the coast we went and after many stores we found 'him' in Eroski! Eroski is closing did I mention that? Yes, I think so!  And today after getting home from town Franco had already got him roasting in the oven, he had named him!!! Really!! Enrique!! So we had to eat something with a name!! Arrrhh!!  He also, in the photo Franco put on Facebook bore a strong resemblance to Pippa when she is sleeping!!

Down town I needed to get a few last things to take with me to work on Friday, allowed ten 100ml bottles, which is fine, just enough for three weeks hopefully, because there are no shops anywhere near where I am going!!  I thought I would go into the perfumaria instead for the few things, what a mistake!! Apart from the cost being higher I forgot Christmas present buying is in full swing and all packages are wrapped here... so stood in the line for about twenty minutes!!

A positive note though, our gorgeous baby granddaughter is now two years old! Already! Impossible I know!  We spent time on Facebook cam which was lovely, no substitute I know, but a million times better than past generations had the benefit of... photographs below taken in late November when we were visiting, Cassie and Franco relaxing and chatting on the sofa...

Cassy at Christmas keeping warm :-) 

Todays weather has been beautiful, a bit misty over the Guadalhorce valley from out of the window just now, but the sun is shining and the flies are out!!! Whats with those flies?? Could it be the piglet!!

TTFN

Last day of 2016 New Years eve... all roads lead to here each year...

Screenshot of our travels on Christmas day... We went out on the dark blue line and came home along the paler blue!  Love these phones, written in history our every move, for good or for bad...

It was a bit cloudy at home, but much better once we got further inland, sky opened up for miles on end... although I did get some great shots of the wind turbines, their bases firmly fixed upon the earth and their blades hidden in the clouds...

We went first to have a coffee in the Kiosko at the lakes, we booked a table for two in the restaurant there for one pm... la una!  We finished our coffees and walked around to the dam... not as much water as we thought there would be, expected it to be full to bursting with all the rain we've had recently, but it wasn't even over the steps near the dam at all!!

At one we were back to the Kiosko for lunch, upstairs, by the roaring fire... No starters, Franco had piglet, and I had kid!  Sorry my friends who don't eat meat, we really went the whole 9 yards didn't we with our food!  It was wonderful, both with roast potatoes and veggies, I had a small glass of house red, which actually was very nice, and cremé brulés for us both for desert!

We took our time and chatted with a neighbouring table, three people from Wales!!  Bridgend and Porthcawl! Bizarre bizarre!!  But live here in Spain too, Álora.

After lunch we took to the car and took to the road, up past Bobastro and to our secret place up a narrow road, I took a fair few photographs from up there, [more to follow].

We came home via Álora as it happens and then followed the road all the way to Cartáma Estacion, the long route we call it, and have only done it once before!!  So a way bigger distance that we thought we were going to do!  But no matter, a beautiful day, making beautiful memories...

Franco is doing great!  Eating like a horse! [sorry!!], we had x-ray results which we had had taken because of bad pain in his neck and back, they showed there is nothing wrong with his spine or joints, although of course it did mean the pain is because of the tumour, Franco and I are out and about! Day before yesterday we went to Calahonda and had coffee with a friend, used to be our neighbour down in the duplex when we lived down there.  It was an emotional cup of coffee, for all three of us. Difficult.

We also bought cannelloni, we had been looking everywhere for it and found it eventually in Super Sol down at El Zoco in Calahonda!

I had overdone things on the lap top and compressed something in my neck, which is starting to ache again now, so not looking at the screen at all while I am typing now, to avoid a repeat of it!  I had vertigo!! Thought it was my ear problem come back, but no earache, just neck ache! Stupid stupid me, I panicked, couldn't think how I can go to work like this! Idiot!  Then toothache yesterday, also getting better, I am having trouble coping, period, don't need all this on top, I have to be okay to... be okay...  Franco needs me to be okay!

TTFN
Marian

Nearly Christmas 2016

Sunrise Alhaurín El Grande

Well, what haven't we done since last posting... We had Francos first phsio session, some good ideas to help with his back and shoulder pain, and also an appointment with the nurse from our local clinico, two full hours with him, amazing length of time, an interpreter on the phone too, the doctor wrote notes while we were answering his questions, so I know he does understand much of what we say, exactly as we understand much of what he says, but to make sure, and no mistakes... better to be safe.

He also made an appointment immediately for more x-rays, the date was for about two weeks time, but he got it changed and we had the x-rays two days ago already!  He called in the morning to say he had brought it forward and to collect paperwork from clinico and then go up to Coín to have them done, we did, and they were!

Sunset Alhaurín El Grande

I can't think where we have been!! To Mijas Pueblo the other day, Monday it was... photographs below, not sure what had happened over the past weekend, there were these statues down in the new Plaza, miniature versions of Paris' Eiffel Tower, Londons Big Ben [St Stevens Tower] and Rio's Jesus the Redeemer...

We've been to Fuengirola, Miramar.... The Sunday car boot sale at La Trocha...

Christmas cards coming though the post, thank you.... I'm sorry only the boys and our grand daughter have cards this years, and my lateness in sending them, via Moonpig means they probably won't make it before Christmas at all!

We got one card yesterday, no, yes or the day before?  It had no envelope, Franco said maybe they delivered it by hand!  Although not sure if my cousin and his 102 year old dad popped over from UK to do so without knocking on the door!!!  The idea was nice!

My confusion is because I had a migraine yesterday, a bad one, it started int he middle of the night, been having a lot of nighttime headaches recently but they faded with the day, this one didn't.  And I got up in the hope, fed Pippa and had to get back to bed, I got up another time in search of the meds I shouldn't take to cure the pain, couldn't find the one I knew I still had left... that was I don't know what time, but I got up again early evening and found it, took it and went back to bed, so two hours later I more myself and got up, watched a movie with Franco which stated about ten pm and then went back to bed until six thirty this morning.  I am lucky, not had a bad one like this for such a long time now, maybe once this year before it? Franco and I can't remember, it used to be we couldn't remember a week when I hadn't had one!! Hate missing days.

Have a good Christmas everyone, make it a good one, make everyone the best one...

TTFN
Marian

Orange blossom...

Today we had a short visit at Cudeca to meet Francos physiotherapist, all went well, and we have another appointment for Friday for Franco to have some physio!  Before I forget, we also popped in to see the nurse here in Alhaurín, the doctor gave us his name and number and told us to, so we did, no appointment necessary, no call, just popped in on our way home, he called a translator and he and Franco via the translator had a good conversation and we have an appointment tomorrow, no hanging about, really great..

We popped into Torremolinos to pick up a few things on our list, picked up a few things, not on our list, because what was, wasn't it store!!

We then went to Plaza Mayor for a bite to eat, and wandering around afterwards I could smell the wonderful orange blossom aroma in the small square there...

Yesterday, we ate lunch out too, this has to stop... for obvious reasons!  €€€€€€€ LOL... but anyway, we enjoyed lunch at Los Morenos near the BP garage, I had my favorite of lamb chops, while I ate the whole lot, minus one [which Franco ate], Franco told me how unhealthy they are because of the amount of fat... but dang... thats the whole reason I eat them!! LOL

Night before I made myself a small pizza! the whole thing!!! It tasted okay, I wasn't ill afterwards, always a bonus, and as you can see Pippa wanted some, although it could have tasted fowl and Pippa would still have wanted some!!  We should have named her gannet!!

And you'll never guess what this is a photograph of!!

Ah... Okay, well a few nights ago I was finishing off my glass of milk and reading my Kindle and I saw through the glass this beautiful spectrum... grabbed my phone and voilá!

It started to rain, just a few drops as we came home earlier, about half four I guess, now, at 7:30pm its chucking it down again! Terrrrrrific!!!

Today when we were out and Franco and I were walking down the long haul of steps to get us back down to the paseo maritimo, Franco kept saying 'is this the restaurant we usually cut through?'.... and I had to keep saying no, not this one either!!  And I said to him... You know Franco your sense of direction is terrible and if there really is a promised land, and if you go there first, you'll have to wait for me so I can get us there together...

TTFN
Marian

No reality here folks! Please...

Feliz Navidad... Christmas last night in Málaga city for Franco and I.... had a wonderful time, making wonderful memories, although I had to stop him from time to time to just stop and hold him... while I tried to stop time and reality from breaking into my perfect little world...

The small church down at the marina still seems a strange sight amongst all the shops and the hundreds of people filing past taking almost no notice of it... a place of calm surrounded by bedlam.

The main street in the city, Calle Larios.... before the lights and music began!

I will try to get one of videos on here, but my camera on phone, didn't do well, and I am having trouble loading the vids from Francos camera... blah!!

At the end of the street in the main square, after the first 'lightening up', the huge old building there had its own display with music and lights, took way too many photographs of this!!

It was packed down there, the street... waiting for the start of the festivities, and I must have got bashed several times!!!

We had doctors appointment today down at the Cudeca Hospice, visit went well, it was for Franco and I was also included... We chatted about how things were left when we left the hospital, and that Franco will be having some complementary therapies, and some x-rays to check his shoulder pain, also some different pain meds and she said we can change them until we fix the pain problem... very nice visit, no hurrying, no rushing about, and the centre is calm and relaxed, I think Franco was expecting something else, so he was pleasantly surprised, if one can be pleasantly surprised in a hospice, or in this situation.

I know one thing forsure, everyone there seems very surprised at just how fit Franco is; driving, walking, shopping, you know, all the usual things!! We said about having spent hours in Málaga city last evening enjoying the lights and music... We are just living normal lives, doing what normal people do, and in my little world all is rosy and happy... and if I don't stop and think too much...

TTFN
Marian