I finished watching the movie I spoke of yesterday... 

I'm glad I persevered, it wasn't how or what I expected at the end and and there was some random dancing, which freaked me out now and again.

But, the last third of the movie for me was the best.. It is split into three parts really, the drive to his parents house, at the house, and the drive back to town.

It's what they spoke about; sometimes we hear things when we need to hear them, for instance I listened to a YouTube video and in the feed was this amazing poem.

Do Not Love Half Lovers by Khalil Gibran 

Which I had never heard of, but so glad I have.

And to follow up on 24 hrs of 'things we're meant to know, cropping up at the time we need to!'

I have just watched the new Pixar movie.. Onward..

So that brought tears to my eyes.. Its a wonderful movie, absolutely.

These above photographs; unusual fruits were on the ground at the botanical gardens in Gibraltar.. Osage oranges.. which I have never seen before or even heard of! 

My last full day here.. 

And off to son's tomorrow.. 

TTFN

Marian

I forgot to post these photographs of the Osage orange.. 

I hadn't heard of these or seen anything like them before..

Time is passing by.. cabin fever big time! I know during the limits set during general lockdown, I was either with family or in work.. and it was strange days enough indeed..

But this is way more difficult, way more weird! Yes I've walked around the garden and land.. including the private driveway.. and pathways.. and that's been considerably fantastic! But not in the rain.. thankfully not too many of those days!

Two and half days left.. am I counting down? Lols er.. yes!! 

Am I losing my mind! Lols maybe!

No WiFi.. So even more arhhhhhhh! 

Eating lots of wrong foods.. and sleeping badly! The weirdest dreams.. 

Started watching a strange movie today.. It's a 2020 movie I'm Thinking of Ending Things.. it has a couple of people I know in it, Toni Collette and David Thewlis.

It's very complex, I have an hour left to watch.. it's very well acted.. but, yes, very complex is all I'm saying.

And I'm interested in seeing it's conclusion.

Lols Sorry, sounds very mysterious, but I don't want to give anything away..

TTFN

Marian

A memory that came up on Facebook today, photographs I took passing by Benidorm today a year ago.. prompted me to continue here...

2020 has brought so many changes.. Some enforced which have brought so much to us we would never have known.. So, already I am thankful..

Isolation has actually brought people into my life I would never have met.. 

And not temporarily friends, I truly feel lifelong friends.. 

Despite my days where I get down.. I know too I am so lucky in so many ways.. 

Really wish I could post some of the field photography I've taken here..

The parrot above was in the street, down outside Bar Cruz a couple of weeks ago.

Untethered.. I think some of his feathers had been cut.. he was with three men, just hanging out and enjoying the evening.. he was watching all the birds walk by! 🤦🏻‍♀️

Lols see if that emoji shows up!

Well, today the sun is most definitely shining and my spirits raised.. I don't suffer from SAD but being here where I am is making it very difficult if the weather is bad.. 

I have chocolate, coffee and sunshine!

Another day gone, and soon we with family.

TTFN

Marian

Decided to place a quote first today.. 

Because some people see a wall, and assume that's the end of their journey. Others see it, and decide it's just the beginning.

Angeline Trevena - Author

Because, sometimes walls are imposing, or feel impossible to get over.

And sometimes I wonder whether it's even worth trying..

Today it's raining.. so not even a walk around the field today.. no looking searchingly into hedgerows for blackberries.. had one! Did I tell you? Just one I have found, hopefully although low to the ground it was relatively untouched by any animals.. 

There's lots of sloe berries.. for use in making sloe gin.. or for witchcraft, I've just read.. apparently!

No WiFi, so bear with for uploads.. 

I walked up the path yesterday to get to the field and found a jigsaw piece! Always wondered what happened to that!! The missing jigsaw piece, or the missing piece to my puzzle, take it whichever way folks!

I'm on a bit of a downer today with this weather, and realize there is no way I could have survived lockdown here; very isolated location.. 

The need now for chocolate is great! Mmm eBay maybe? Now that's an idea! Lols

I should have thought ahead for that doing the shopping before my arrival! 

Thinking of home, mi casa, mis montanas.. mi buena vista.. 

It'll be cola coa by the time I get home.. and the wood burner!

TTFN

Marian

Well it's been sunny here in Blighty, but mighty cold when out of the sun!

Indoors at the moment when the heating is off its flipping freezing! 

Feeling stuck, and isolated in my isolation period! 

Walked around the garden, took photos of the field! Lols

No WiFi, so will upload anything when I can.. will bleed off some data later!

British TV? So is it like the British high street now.. repeat episodes of very old TV series = charity shops; adverts for data/WiFi, banks/building societies.. = phone stores and .. well, banks!! 

It mirrors it doesn't it? If you want good up-to-date movies, or something different.. it would be like visiting out-of-town shopping centres with cinemas attached!

TTFN

Marian

You can’t cross the sea merely by standing and staring at the water.

Rabindranath Tagore - 1861-1941 - Poet

This world makes me happy in so many ways I didn't think it ever could again..

But sitting on board a plane with another twenty-five people flying from Malága to Bristol.. this makes me so sad.. the lack of people.. the masks, the eyes all looking just as wary as I expect mine do.. 

The airport usually so full, full of life or hope of holiday makers leaving, of people with arms full of even more gifts .. 

Stores are all closed.. even a few of the eateries.

No long lines to wait in, no nothing really.

Not even a dozen cases loaded into the hold.

I'm in row four.. my free seat.. and two people in front of me.. no one along side me.. and then  the few others behind.. 

Now at my isolation point.. 

Bristol airport was like coming into an apocalyptic dystopian decontamination zone! So few people that lights came on as we entered corridors.. and as it was just me and one other person leading the line.. it was odd.

Only when reaching the security area.. did we see anyone.. and a room usually heaving, where on occasion I have had to lineup in an adjacent area to even reach.. I walked straight through and up to a security guard.. 

Showed passport and papers regarding the quarentine info and done..

My case along with the other nine cases came through on the only conveyor belt in operation.. 

Bus stops all moved.. I guess to keep people away from the arrivals area.. which is cordoned off now, tented off to be exact! 

A long line, and fewer passengers.. as one person to each double seat.. so a bit of a wait there, then on the bus I sat upstairs .. hadn't been on a double decker for five years! Was great! Actually! And I booked my train ticket on my phone.. 

Beautiful evening, amazing clouds and sunset.. 

And bloody freezing cold!

Okay, maybe not freezing, but my hands went numb! And then had to do the tingling and burning thing once they warmed up again!

Settled in now.. eaten and coffee.. 

Tired and missing home.. 

Wishing I were there..

TTFN

Marian

So nearly time to leave home for travel to the UK, family and work.. 

My heart is actually beating far too hard, I do not want to leave home; looking across the Guadalhorce vally now from my terrace.. 

My heart is in Spain, I wasn't sure for a couple of years.. but I know now.. completely and utterly sure.

Now I just want to go.. I can't wait to meet my newest granddaughter.. and also see my other two babes.. for them I am travelling.. and for work.. 

Then I can come home, Ryanair has just changed my return date so now an extra day in the UK.. 

Lols Blogging on my phone before I leave the house, my hands are shaking!

Okay, finish up here.. then go. I'll keep you posted, from England next, of course!

TTFN

Marian

 

Photograph above coming across the boarder in Gibraltar on Wednesday, cloud heavy and looming over the rock...

After having lived in La Linea for a while last year, I know it is not every day.. it had seemed that way visiting now and again.. and seemed only right the cloud should be there on my day trip also.

A few photographs I took in the Botanical Gardens, it's been 18 months, they have been working hard and the whole place looks stunning now.  Relaxing and calming. The zoo, a planting garden.  Really nice.. the only disappointment being, my little hiding place was gone! I had found a seat at the back on the cemetery section, mostly hidden, a relaxing quiet place.. lols.. it's gone, but then, so am I.. it was there when I needed it I guess...

I tried to get a picture of some beautiful butterflies.. but they just would not pause in their play long enough!! 

The coach was only half full, but they're hoping to get back on track and get back to the weekly trips from Alhaurín to Gibraltar.. the raffle on board is for a local Age Care, and they help out so many people in our local area.. this time here now, especially here.. we don't have the backup that might be available back in the UK. Down at the UK food shop in town our friend has been helping so many needy people, income gone or paused, no financial help available here.. people donate and give freely to help so many people.

Few more from the Botanical Gardens..

Ten years ago this memory on Facebook this morning tells me I posted this...

Journey...

What makes the 

world go round? It's people who can't sit still.  People like you and me.  Roaming the earth for new ideas.  Always wandering, constantly challenging.  And taking whatever they need for the ride.

Life's a journey. 

 Embrace it, live it, love it.

Still me isn't it? 

I really want to stop wandering now!! Lols don't I? Very thought provoking; all of my grandparents were people who travelled a long way to get to their final destinations... Maybe I have to?

TTFN

Marian

And before I knew it, the time has flown! 

Photographs of sunsets above and below.. taken from my terazza..

And below walking down into town on a morning this week past..

I went to Gibraltar on Wednesday, photographs tomorrow! 

It's been another good week, not sure where I fit time in for working!

Walking into town early, coffee at Bar Cruz, chatting to friends in the Papeleria I used to work in.. then coffee with my vesina about ten.. 

A walk and wander around town.. maybe a jaunt out here and there.. 

Below last two sunsets for this post!! 

It's just especially at this time of the year, they are extra special.. 

The month of the cigar clouds.. maybe into October.. not seen many yet!

The sounds of tires screeching around the streets is a sound we hear more at seasons change also.. 

Saturday today, been nice weather.. cooling down now, and yesterday was rain rain and rain.. not all day but enough! Already!

The plants are happy and green, I have flowers on a few of the succulents, and a climber.. just wish the climber would climb! It's needs to grow first, and each year it nearly dies off in my absence..  it survived the long time I was away this year, more by luck than anything else.. there was rain now and again, just enough apparently!

I have flights booked for travel for work, I had to change them.. of course, nothing goes to plan.. the first two flights were covered by credit from Ryanair.. then it cost me more to change them.. and then I booked a whole new flight for only 7€ so cheap! A one way to Bristol.. 7€!! Incredible eh!!

Oh and I filled out a new claim form for another cancelled flight with Ryanair.. two days later, money back in my bank account.. thank you very much! 

The plan for work was set, then changed so many times I felt my head was spinning! But it's sorted now, 14 days quarentine, visit with family.. work,visit with family.. work! And home! 

Everything is so different, everything so not what we're used to.. 

Here we have to wear masks, everywhere outside, so I will continue to, even in the UK where you don't have to.. Seems silly to risk not doing so!

In Gib some people were others not.. so I did; although around the botanical gardens I unhooked over one ear, but if people came past it was back over again!

Half midnight now, and today has become tomorrow... 

TTFN

Marian

Need a poem or quote... Okay here's one!

Inspiration comes from within yourself. One has to be positive. When you're positive, good things happen.

Deep Roy - Actor-Stuntman-Puppeteer

Mmmm very difficult being positive sometimes.. I really try, but the smallest thing can send me crashing down still.. 

I was randomly watching my saved stuff on YouTube, a piece on mindfulness.. I was also learning Spanish on an app on my phone and Candy Crush on my Kindle!

And I wonder I can't concentrate!! 

I need to spend more time in the present, the right now right here, because really, this is all we can guarantee we have.. isn't it.

Other life

This view taken on our way home yesterday, from the village... I was taking the photograph below... when this cloud formation looking like a dragon maybe? A horned something or other? flowing smoke, or a tongue..  from his mouth caught my eye!

Why the photograph above anyway? Because I thought it looked like someone laying down... knees bent! Lol... yes seeing lots of things out of things!! 

My pareidolia obviously on high alert for signs of all sorts! Lols..

The village, or a small part thereof... It looks hot because it was, ten degrees hotter than back here at home in Alhaurín... Said 38C so was I guess as per the norm, warmer than that in standing heat...

Lake view... absolutely stunning, and so peaceful... This village is truly like another time and place, one can forget the world, everything around us, all the bad, all the mixed up life we have these days... Almost, masks being worn on the street, a reminder of this world we're all now sharing.

And most of our visit was defiantly like a different time and place! Two visits for me far and both very surreal. This time we had water! Which was good being three of us! 

Three nights, every night at the bar until closing at one am... the first night back home afterwards... the second a fiesta at a friends house, music drinks, talking and laughing, was like a party of teen-agers.. a great evening, a broken chair, fighting over the music control, watching the night sky and the zillion stars shining down on us, all talking in a mix of español and English . we were home about 3:30am.

What made that night funnier was we arrived too early for the fiesta, so dodged the square and went home! Only to be messaged with 'where are you? And sorry we weren't home yet when you called!' so back down to the square.   Round two!

...and the third... ? Well altogether different, 

Bar first until 01:00 plus a bit more while drinks finished after doors locked, and then a small park area... small group of us, beers and benches, the lake, the dark dark sky.. conversation in español and English again, talking about jobs and where we live or have lived.. the whole time there was very strange, I was sat on the ground, and no problem with that, was comfortable, and didn't feel any after-effects yesterday morning, of either the beer or the hard surface I'd been sitting on... So all good... It actually felt like I was living some other life in some other dimension! Lols... yes okay I had had two beers and an anise... but hardly enough to make me drunk... and as that was over a six hour period? Nope, not drunk... It just felt so strange, other-worldly; don't get me wrong, I was so happy there... just being under that wide and starry sky and conversing in two languages..  Who knew!

Anyways, we were home about 4am! Jokingly I said "Couldn't keep this up, not 40 any more!!" And we eventually got to bed about half four!

Do you see the stork platforms there... 

Dog paradise! And human... just such a peaceful spot... So untouched.. A natural place, the nearby town of Martos, about twenty minutes or so... has all the shops you need, a wonderful market on a Saturday, we had to give our names and phone numbers for tracking purposes.

Great prices; and I thought our local markets were good!

Below two photographs I took in Alcaudete, we went there Friday morning for churros con chocolate! Beautiful... another mountain town, like Martos.. Can't walk downhill without knowing you have the uphill walk later on! And in that heat! wow!

Feels strange leaving the village; it attaches itself to you... or you to it! Draws you in, holds you, makes you happy, makes you relaxed, makes you want to stay... Then when you have to go it has to be torn off quickly like a plaster or it hurts more! Oh so dramatic I know!

When we left the three of us, humans, in the car.. (dogs just being dogs.. although.. maybe them also.)

We were very quiet, very melancholy I guess.. all thinking, all coming to terms with leaving!! Strange how it is.. I am sure the many people born there must feel the same though, because the young seem to return.. People still living there without having moved on like in so many of the small villages.. losing the young until the streets are empty and only the elderly remain.. 

The plaza of an evening is filled with all ages.. small toddlers to the oldest, through the age spectrum.  

 

Mmmm and on another note!

Last week or so ago?  Friend and I at local bar here in town... I asked her if she knew the song by JP Saxe, If the World was Ending... she didn't so I Googled it... and started reading the words out.. 

I'll try and explain.. I just read it out, sentence by sentence... with my right hand beating it out in the air... and the way it sounded sounded like rap! So she started with the sounds rappers make.. Oh heck this is hard to explain and you really needed to be there... it was so funny! Like an impromptu rapping session! 

So there we were in the centre of town, two seat table in the middle of a busy morning, outside the usual bar... rapping!! Oh so funny!! If you were there!!

So much I feel I have missed out here, but tired, and need to post, come down now, fog or sea mist possibly.. come through the Guadalhorce valley.. making everything damp and clammy.. time to put out my rubbish and tidy up!

TTFN

Marian

 

Further in; further up!

Trip to the village con mi amiga!

Small real Spain.. It is off the beaten track, surrounded by acres and acres of olive trees... so many you can smell the olive oil driving through. Its just over two hours drive, and the roads here are good, so a good quick journey. I drove, we made good time, the two dogs in the back behaved very well, and slept most of the way.

Reaching my friends house, we unpacked the car and went in, the key needed a bit of jigging! But once in all good to go!

I had a quick sweep around, and mi amiga opened windows and doors..

The beautiful lake air rushing in through the door and and causing eddies as I swept!

The village is - one helluva big lake, man-made, two bars one plaza.. one tiny store.. it has the darkest skies and the most beautiful bright stars..

Milky way included.

We walked the dogs..

We ate.. laughed, cried... and drank coffee!

On the first evening we walked down to the bar and for every beer a huge plate of tapas arrived! More a ration than a tapa!

Two friends arrived and joined us... A really great evening, a small village, with a handful of British residents, everyone welcomed into the arms of the local people.. I saw how my friend had been missed, and checked on her.. and I felt included and welcomed in not just as a temporary visitor but as new friend.

After the bar.. we went to get the boys (the dogs!), and walked to the lake.. it was so dark, and I mean dark, no light bleed. You actually could not see anything! It was the first time I have really seen the Milky Way..

I didn't want to leave! I could have laid down and just watched the skies.. it was around one in the morning by then and the Perseid Meteor shower at its best.. apparently.. We walked to the waters edge, we stood.. we saw one brilliant amazing shooting meteor enter our earth's atmosphere and light and burn briefly... absolutely wonderful! Couldn't have been better!

The next day we went to a neighbouring town and had coffee's... it was late morning, very quiet and very very hot!

That evening a repeat of the one before, but not so late and no lake-side walk! The next and final day, we went for lunch in the nearby town this time, more people about, a lively thriving town, very few of us foreigners.. in fact I can't be certain but I don't think I heard another British accent apart from our own!

Now, a couple of funny things... my friend and I do laugh, a lot, see the same funny side of things... the latter thing I will tell you was the funniest, this first was just funny! I pulled up by the kerb and she pulled up my hand-brake! She drives a right-hand drive and although she had no steering wheel.. I pulled up and she pulled up the hand-brake!

You had to be there? Well... we laughed! Now, the next thing... you really don't need to have been there!

When we arrived she turned the water on, ours are all accessible at the front of our houses... just how it is here in Spain... The water was a bit thin on the ground so to speak, a mere dribble... we managed to flush the loo a couple of times, and do a wash in the machine... We didn't manage to brush our teeth with tap water so had to use bottled water and just get on with it, so to speak.

In the morning, no improvement, spoke to friends, learnt the water had been low... there is a tank which is filled by truck and used by the residents... and that is the supply for the whole village! We were at the top of the road too.. so made even more sense there was even less up there..

Anyways, friends brought up a couple of bottles of water, two by five litres and we made do with them, again, as best we could, didn't go short on coffee, just no flushing and no showers!!

The day we were leaving.. nothing, nada, nowt! She asked me to switch off the water anyway, before we left, as we all do when we're away, I opened up the front, looked at the gauge and the tap, turned the tap opposite to the way it was... and.... the gauge started to turn, the meter... it turned fast and wonder of wonder I could hear the magical sound of water gushing through the pipes from there into the house!!! I called out my friends name... sort of slowly... she thought maybe it was broken or a dog had got out... I walked in and said... "water!!! there is water....

Oh em geeeeeeeee!!! We laughed so much it hurt, our faces our throats... stomachs!!! Those two nights and three days!!! We had water all along... We literally laughed till we cried.

We flushed the loo... (just don't ask.) We washed up, we hosed down the back yard... watered plants... and flushed the loo again!!!

So, next time we visit, I am in charge of the water meter!

So so funny, driving home we just randomly kept on remembering and laughing till we cried again and again...

What else has been occurring???

I have applied and am waiting for my new passport.. its on its way, from the opening of my info and them saying they were starting the process to a message to say finished and on its way was six days!

I've food shopped, drank copious amounts of coffee... I am eating well, maybe too well!!

Its been wonderful being in close proximity to my neighbors dogs, although, when entering my house now I automatically look down and feel I have to be careful Pip isn't close to the door...Pip or any dog, just a feeling of a dog being close to me now... reading on the terrace yesterday a movement caught my eye, and I thought it was her...

I am growing thyme! Yes thyme can be grown, it can't be turned back or moved forward, but it can be grown! Ha.. funny!!

I planted the seeds nearly six weeks ago and it has taken five weeks for any growth at all! When they are big enough to plant out I am planting in the crevices in the mountain wall behind my house, its a very hardy plant and requires very little water, once established... but, at this rate, not sure they'll make it before I head off back to work again, can't plant seedlings this small and no way would they survive the heat without water like this!

We're all being bitten by little somethings, no mosquitoes, I really don't know what they are, because none of us can actually catch whatever it is that's doing the biting!!

Enough already? Okay, that'll do then; it is not that I don't think to blog, I just can't my head round to it.. I haven't been sleeping well, the heat to start with, now I have AC in the bedroom that helps immensely, but sleep is a thing of mystery.. elusive, an enigma... We wrestle with it and lose the battle constantly...

I did my yearly modules for work, and that night I slept better, maybe my brain enjoyed being active that little bit more! So what then? Learn something every day... every day most certainly is learning... doing Spain every day again now... needs to be a habit...

Every evening, well, most evening then, myself and a couple of neighbors gather on our terraces and have a cup of tea... how very civilized! But its nice, its companionable.. We chat, we listen, we watch the sun set over the beautiful country we call home..

TTFN

Marian

"It's our living that counts; all the years that have past us by when we didn't realize how very important they were...

...whichever our decisions in life, some things we've done will feel wrong and others right, because there is no wrong or right, there is just trying to do the best we can."

Practice Practice Practice

That's what 'they' say, so Blogging again immediately afterward last one..

Sun came out and dried up all the rain.. lols you are now thinking incy wincy spider climbed the pipe again!

Maybe she did!

Maybe she didn't!

Either way the storm is still here, Thor still rolling his balls down the great bowling alley in the skies above.. wind moving anything not tied down around all over the place.. humidity has now joined the party and it sounds amazing!

Not going in, I'm enjoying the wild weather.. it's fine...

The thunder is an almost constant sound.. very eerie...

Expecting something cataclismic!

And the short video I took earlier.. funny!

The sun comes out, the thunder rolls from mountain to mountain..

I love a storm.. absolutely love a good storm! I'm sure my heart's beating faster ...  Lols

Lols okay, rambling now for no good reason!

Yesterday! Had Sunday lunch in town with a good friend.. the full Brit Sunday lunch, and very good it was too! I went to the Sunday market early, for a wander about, not to buy, just for a good look and coffee.. a good day.

Today was renew my passport day.. it runs out, as of now! 

And now awaiting a something or other! It's definitely coming back with avengeance!

TTFN

Marian

Thunder in the Guadalhorce vally

Arhhh... New interface.. this is doing my head in, why can't 'they' leave things alone, nothing wrong with the way it was! Now it's all gone pants! That's the politest way I can put it!

Working on a phone the update of which has made it virtually impossible to use normally, now add this critical change to Blogger..

Blogging should be a pleasure, I love writing, but this is so damn annoying!

The top photograph was sunset here the other night..

And this one above Ardales lake..  of course..

I went up with a neighbor the other morning, it  was so nice.. we chatted and walked around the loop, had coffee and cake, at the kiosk .. a really great morning.

Now I am sat on the terrace to all intents and purposes looking like a sunbather! As the thunder has banged on for two hours.. and now the rain is falling.. 

I am still here, with sunglasses on.. appreciating the coolness.. it's... 30°C as the large rain drops are now cooling the terrace floor..

Wow, it's pouring now.. beautiful cool thirst quenching rain..  it smells so good.. the temptation to stand in it is great! But summer rain can be filthy, sand from the deserts.. and just dusty!! 

Scratched that last sentence.. I have just stood and danced in that beautiful rain.. and now it's passed and the terrace is already nearly dry... The sun out.. wonderful!

It is outstandingly good.

TTFN

Marian

Above, my newest tattoo... I added this beautiful piece of ink on my break, the day Pippa left this world of ours.. At Woody's in Exhall...

I stayed the night in the Novotel at Birmingham airport.. Was a strange slightly unreal experience.. Masks, distancing.. Everyone looking weary, very surreal.

I was absolutely exhausted, slept, ate, slept...

The hotel Ibis I normally stay in, it was shut, and looking at it in the morning remembering photographs I have taken in reverse..

But me now home and I am happy here again at last, I didn't think I ever would be, or could be.. But I am.

I made a marshmallow pie, very sweet! Bit too much!!!

Bit like dinner this evening, I was planning on making chicken supreme, when that was underway I checked the minced beef I bought yesterday and it looked a bit iffy, so opened it.. Color was weird, but then I thought, I hadn't seen minced beef since ... I think maybe over a year ago!?! But not wishing to risk it or waste it, I made a Bolognese at the same time.

I ate some chicken, wrapped up two more portions of that, and have made up two of the Bolognese.. Three meals in the freezer one in the refrigerator!

And a visit to the garden centre on Monday! Good to be home.. I bought a hardy looking little shrub, the name of which I don't remember, and a Vicks vapour plant!! Who'd have known that! Smells lovely! Both seem like they should manage drought.. We'll see I guess. I can't believe the plants I have, have survived so well, over four months!! Although there has been intermittent rain, and the overnight moisture we get.. It's been enough.

This week, AC ordered for my bedroom.. And a new bed, an ottoman bed, really need the storage this will facilitate. New Spanish SIM card, new special padron ordered.. Ant traps and mosquito pots all in place!

Okay, caught up? Been to the bar for coffee with friends in the mornings, I've been down to La Cala market, and the Coín car boot sale!

I've met with friends for coffee and seen so many people I haven't seen for far too long..

Now I'm caught up?

TTFM
Marian

July 20, 2020

Such a beautiful morning this morning, when I walked down to the store to collect the newspaper, a beautiful breeze.

It felt like the kind of day one should be going on an adventure...

All of above written a couple of days ago..

And now my world has changed yet again..

Ever changing.. I am at my limit now of change, of loss, of grief.. I can't take much more..

My Pippa, our Pippa..
She didn't wake up this morning..

And I can't bear it..

I know I had to say goodbye nearly two years ago.. Without even looking I know it was August 6th 2018.

Now today I have to say goodbye again..
When she had a stroke nearly two weeks ago, and I prayed for Franco to bring her home..

Maybe he has.. maybe it's just her time..

I had a song stuck in my head all yesterday afternoon until this morning.. round and round it's been going even through my dreams..

The song Welcome Home.. I'll get it here now..

It's a different version to the Peter's and Lee.. and one I prefer.. please don't judge!

Pippa is home now.

One more night.. at work.
I want to be home too.

Oh I added to a collection today, maybe tomorrow I'll explain.

TTFN
Marian


Be strong enough to let go and patient enough to wait for what you deserve

Unknown

Read something like this this morning..

A champion is afraid of losing, everyone
else is afraid of winning..

I wonder if I am afraid of being happy again.. I mean.. what if?

Just a thought, I self destruct things in my life, I put barriers where there should be none, I go out of my way to find fault; I don't feel sometimes that I have a right to be happy, not now.

Still lost as to who I am now, that's the thing, so many things to everyone else, as we all are, but who am I to me.

Below a photograph from this morning.. again, still my birthday.

Mmm think I'll save this post for tomorrow.. I might brighten up later!

What do you make of it? This photograph, very strange; answers on a postcard please. Zoom in, it looks weirder still!

By the by.. I'll tell you tomorrow, if I don't forget.


Song

Now it's July 18th.. I had a good day, really, two cards, one from the family here, and one from the lady who came in to give me my two hours break, so sweet of her.

I saw my boys and their families.. albeit videocall.. but it was absolutely wonderful.

And now it's another day, and a few days left and I can go home.


TTFN
Marian

Caught, photographically speaking, this bee yesterday morning.. on the buddleia.. it's just coming into bloom, and later the cardinal butterfly was all over it.. the buddleia, not the bee! That would just be weird!!

Lols having trouble typing this morning, have been far too headachy recently.. felt very odd yesterday evening.. just very tired now, six weeks yesterday at this placement, long days.. and not sleeping well at all now..

You know, I'm glad we can't see the future.. the wonderful that happens unexpectedly.. is wonderful, but bad things would break us...

Just saying...

It's my birthday today.. I love my birthdays, always have, and I guess always will now.. I'm like a kid, I get so excited the days, (weeks), before, then can sometimes, usually, fall with a bang when .. when I don't know what.. Still waiting for my dad to turn up probably.. which would totally freak me out, him having died 50 years ago now.

So I'm just left waiting..

And on this note, sounds like I've fallen already, which is bad for not even nine in the morning..

It's a beautiful day; it is.

Wish you all could join me today, massive street party! How cool that would be, how diverse how many languages, how many amazing people.. thank you for travelling with me, very very much.. all part of each others stories..

TTFN
Marian

Mmm began this post a few days ago, prepped the song and a bit about a bike.. and the poem..

Today I am post migraine, the migraines of nowadays luckily not like they were, strange visual effects though just the same..

And today writing is proving difficult..
July 12th..

Okay, been out driving in the fairly nice weather.. last evening a drive to one of the centres of England! Meriden a village in the borough of Solihull! Who knew I was so near to Solihull!

Seems the town is only one of many with claims to be the centre of these green and pleasant lands.. but the name Meriden, so like Meridian.. must be for a very good reason!?!

Even Aylesbury when living there seems to want in on that action!

A bike the other morning on the path.. mm so this was days ago.. a man came flying along the path nearly taking me out in the process.. what's wrong with the wide road next to him? Who knows? Maybe a shout of warning would have been nice!

And this Android 10 has completely broken my phone now.. and I am going to get cross!! Lols! Very cross, very soon!

The evening before was a nature evening, beginning with a female pheasant with six babies!! So cute! First time in my life I have seen baby pheasants!

Followed closely by a small rabbit and a weasel! Lols.. No! Obviously not litteraly followed by! That would just be weird and very.. Riverbank stories world!

I mean over the next five minutes of driving though!

And finishing up with a green field.. nothing plowed or just seeded..

Standing by their hundreds, black birds.. standing all facing the one direction, very very spooky!

Very Hitchcock!

Enough now, phone driving me bananas!

Lauv and  Ellie Goulding Slow Grenade

TTFN
Marian


Those of you who travel with me, and have done for many years now, know maybe? That I republish a poem here, every so many years.. I guess when it pops into my head, just checked back and found I last did this December 2018.. so not long ago.. Heart of Stone.. it's called..

Not sure why I think of it as I do..

I have two of my albums flicking through on the TV in here..

I look now and again and see wonderful memories from New York two years ago and Naples last November..

Now and again I see a photograph I took of a random banana under a random shrub somewhere.. in the New York album..

It always makes me smile, remembering the banana incident, back in Westbury Sub Mendip! A couple of years ago now...

I guess if you put banana in the search up there, top left-hand corner you might find said incident! Making you work today eh!!

Tesco has delivered today already, thank you very much!

And I await a collection of a box to wing it's way to me back home; it'll be there ahead of me of course.. but only by ten days or so! It'll take about four or five days to get there.

Out driving the last couple of evenings, really seeing a difference now in traffic volume, lots more cars, pub carparks full, people spilling out into beer gardens..

Would put another James Blunt song here, but...

TTFN
Marian


I understand now that I’m not a mess but a deeply feeling person in a messy world. I explain that now, when someone asks me why I cry so often, I say, ‘For the same reason I laugh so often-because I’m paying attention. “‘ – Glennon Doyle Melton

Got out today, lols I mean for a walk and a wander.. lovely weather and took a walk!

It was nice to be walking, lovely being out in the countryside, bees buzzing, flowers moving in the breeze.. a track to walk beside a small river..

(Not going to say where it isn't, ya'all know where I mean by now?)

James Blunt Monsters

There's a great many things hard to fathom in darkness that set themselves straight in the light of day.
Quote from 'Once upon a river' by Diane Setterfield

I know I'm not, by far, the only person who lives in the past sometimes..

Not all day or all night, not even every day but sometimes, just snippets, when I'm doing something or even reading or watching the TV.. and it's like a flicker book.. I'm back somewhere, and I can see and feel it all.. like it was yesterday.

The thoughts that pop up in this manner are wonderful memories, happy days when the world was the right way up.. and then the ache in the heart comes.. it feels like a real pain.. and my chest tightens and I breathe so shallow.. as I realize once more it's not then.. it's now.. and a memory just surfaced was maybe five or ten years past.. and I'm shattered and my heart is bleeding, again.

I wonder if this happens more and more, not less and less.. I mean I do have more time behind me than I can ever have in front..

Time to make the very best of what's ahead so when I look back at this time.. there'll be good flicker pictures now too.. I'm trying, sometimes it doesn't work.


This post came today courtesy of Resolven market.

As I sat here with my first coffee of the day, reading my book, and I was transported to the Saturday market at Resolven.. thrown back into time, without leaving my seat!

TTFN
Marian

Change can be beautiful when we are brave enough to evolve with it, and change can be brutal when we fearfully resist.
Bryant McGill

Posted and editing for a song which just came up on my phone..

Thank you James Blunt perfect song for today..

Just about to start a new book.. Finished the last yesterday.. it was so good and I needed a bit of a gap before a new one.. to clear it through.. lol defrag! Lols old term now already.. where did old tech go..

Anyways! It's called Once Upon a River, by Diane Setterfield; I read about it, liked what I read and bought it.

Only on the bit at the beginning.. not reached part 1 yet.. but these opening lines sound wonderful!

Along the borders of this world lie others.

There are places you can cross.

This is one such place.

Doesn't it! 

And so I begin..

Okay! Later then..

Today, after my usual four hours sleep!! Something woke me with a jolt I actually woke scared!

Took ages to get back to sleep and everything was keeping me from doing so.

It's another gray day, walked to the shop in a light drizzle without my coat on.. it's not cold at all.

And well, that's it! No thoughts for today! They're all asleep still, being so busy during the night!

Let me drag a photograph here though, I'll see what grabs me ... Bare with amigos!

My Pippa.. two days ago.. She's 14 now, and now I'll post this and get the hell out of my blog.