Did I mention I've started on a new book? It's called 'I know You Will Find Me' by David Harris Wilson..

When I started reading it I couldn't believe the coincidence that the main character was in Coventry, and a fifteen minutes drive from where I am!! He named the area and street..

Then, not giving anything away.. oh well, I guess I would be.. There are much bigger coincidences! Absolutely crazy! It was published in January 2014.. and could have been written for today!

A really good book if you're looking for something right now!

By the by, I downloaded it some time ago.. like last year.. with no inkling of the times we're having now..

Feel like I have been here an eternity.. not this placement, but being here since March.. my right eye is better, nearly completely, just a bit of eyelid still swollen; but both are tired now.. I am going to have one long duvet week when I get home.. even if it's too warm for my duvet! I shall be like a bug in a cocoon.

I've bought random items over the last four months also, they're boxed up and going to be flying home before me next week!

Random song again for you.. Chris Isaak Wicked Game

Need to sauce a poem before I post don't I!

TTFN
Marian

& then I met you,
& slowly
but all at once my
whole world began to
change.
rm broderick

I wish I could listen to myself occasionally.. but I guess, do any of us take our own advice? Or even not advice as such but just good thoughts?

Like last night, it was late I was shattered.. desperate for sleep and the land of dreams..

I fell asleep yes.. then bam! Maybe only twenty minutes later awake, a noise maybe or a sense of a noise.. I thought I'd go back to sleep and before I knew it.. it was well gone 1am.. and no sign of that dream land...

I began with my 'taking myself somewhere beautiful' in my mind, shifted to another place I also love.. then I was sorting stuff out in my house, moving stuff, boxing stuff and clearing stuff! All in my mind.. Should have written this down, just to get it out.. instead carried on thinking it! Which progressed to the Pipster and then an assortment of other worries I currently carry in my mind.

Talking this morning, helping I hoped, giving my thoughts and feelings and trying so much to help.. I wrote something I wish I could remember when I needed to.. need to..

I hope she doesn't mind me sharing, I have changed a few bits and missed out personal stuff..

"It's difficult to know what to do.. difficult for me to know what to say... I know if I were you I'd be doing the same..

He knows forever and eternity that you love him, that you gave your all from the very beginning.. it's our living that counts; all the years that have past us by when we didn't realize how very important they were..

Now is important of course, but he's thinking of yesteryear..

That's why he loves you, that's why you're connected..

Stop, go for a walk.. sit somewhere.. let peace enter your mind..

...whichever you decide to do, will feel wrong at some point, and whichever you decide to do will feel right also.

Because there is no wrong or right.. there is just trying to do the best we can.."

TTFN
Marian


I hope you find that place one day. Where the chaos inside is understood and your heart feels at home.
JMStorm

Where you lead by Carole King.. the theme song from Gilmore Girls.. watching it, the series, again.. for now anyways.. I used to love this song.. but it links me to a placement I was at when the words.. "... If you need me to be with you..." Were ones I followed to the word when Franco called me.. needing me to come home..

Now when I watch this I have to skip the intro theme..

I used to watch it first thing in the morning, at work, as the sun came up and through into the placements kitchen.. and I used to get up and dance my way through it!! Lols..

Yep, I know... I'm funny like this!

My eye, was again this morning.. but I feel a subtle change now.. just very very slightly, so fingers crossed eh!

Weekend again! TGIF!!

Oh poem!

TTFN
Marian

These are the days that must happen to you.
Walt Whitman

So the British heatwave is at its hottest today! It's humid and bit too closed in at work to be comfortable..

Can't get out for fresh air ..
I think tomorrow it's going to break, and I am looking forwards to a thunderstorm or three!

Finding it a bit difficult to type on my phone, have an eye infection that's beaten any eye infection I have every had! In every way! I can see the swelling under my eye when I look down, which is a bit disconcerting, and it's swollen up into my nose.. it looks like I've lost a fight!

I'm taking antibiotics which the local hospital prescribed, I Uber'ed them here from there! Thank you Uber!

So hopefully they will kick in soon, sure they're working undercover at the moment, doing whatever pencillin does.. and hoping soon I will feel and see the getting better bit soon!

Okay, this is too much of a struggle.

TTFN
Marian

My favourite part is where you walked into my life. You didn't know me, yet something told you to walk a little more.
JMStorm

Beautiful weather again this week, very warm, the birds are enjoying the garden, especially the blackbirds.. took a photograph but no good without my good camera from the distance I was away.

There were a line of blackbird's standing backs to the sun.. wings splayed out.. orange beaks open..  litteraly sunbathing.. looked so cute!

Watching Death in Paradise.. still, series who knows what by now I am on.. man just said "Fridays I would be eating my tea and watching Crackerjack!" I automatically shouted at the TV.. "Crackerjack!"

Five full weeks of work completed now, four to go...

So over half way!

Although being thirteen weeks of work in total by the time I leave; I'm doing alright..

Tired, but alright..

Today I have both a song and a poem..

Such a beautiful song..

Marcus Mumford - Lay your head on me..

TTFN
Marian

Just kiss me in the rain,
So I'll know you are not one of them.
Those who run for shelter.
JMStorm

I am never going to finish this book if I keep stopping to tell you about it am I!

And this bit I read last evening; roughly,  about in this life we do some things we've chosen to do, that alter our destinies, but when it's all over, we have taken whatever has come at us..

Yesterday, chatting, over a worry, I said, worrying can't change it, and we'll have waisted now worrying about it.. we lose, waste, so much time worrying about life instead of living every single moment of it like it's our last.. because it can be.

I won't stop worrying, I can't, I was born worrying, my mom was definitely stressed while carrying me, if that has anything to do with it, I don't know.. I know nothing!

We can only decide certain things.. what to eat, where to go.. well, again soon, for all of us after this time we're all in together.. all reacting to differently, because we all feel differently.

Monday morning, it's a beautiful day.. temperatures will reach 30° by Wednesday here in Blighty!

I have four weeks to go..
I shouldn't be counting down, because life's too short.

TTFN
Marian

Firstly, happy Father's Day to these two boys of mine!

Where did the years go?

No seriously! Where?

Both my son's have babies now.. my youngest there, Tony, he became a dad on April 1st.

I am so proud of both of them, both amazing human beings..

I wish I could be with them both and their babes right now, today..

I am really enjoying this book still, Four Days with Hemingway's Ghost, by Tom Winton, the story is taking me past places I too know, which means I can travel with it even more than I usually do with a book, always visualizing what I'm reading, this brings the reality in..

This paragraph is good, and something for all of us..

'He told me that no matter how great one's fears are, it does absolutely no good to worry about them because if things turn out for the worst, nothing can change that.  All the fretting in the world wouldn't help me.  And, on the other hand, if things did work out well, I would be a dammed fool to have made myself miserable for no reason.'

Although in retrospect, nothing will stop us worrying about the big stuff.. I know this.

There are a few things I wish I had brought with me in March for my two weeks placement, that's turned into over four months without.. My camera, my VR and maybe my laptop... Mm no scrub the latter.. it's just writing on here is hard work sometimes! Lols

I get notifications for songs.. they pop up here and now, now and again, this one below came up yesterday, it's just beautiful..

John Rose ~ Wait for Me...

It's Sunday now as I write, bit gloomy out, been like this over the last few days, but each day the sun has made its way out, and been able to get out for a drive each day.. which is good for the person I support and myself. Different scenery, and chatting the whole time.

I also had a break yesterday, walked up the road for twenty minutes, turned around and walked back!

No disrespect meant for where I am, and I'm unfamiliar with the area and don't have a clue of what's around me...

But.. miss the swans, and the country walks.. the familiar faces.. lols even miss the tourists!

TTFN
Marian

It's Friday, it's raining.. it's ten degrees cooler than last week..

And I have yet another eye infection.. it's only been a month since the last one.. and to be honest that corner is still is very tender .

This is my other eye.. my eye ball, eye socket? I don't know, whichever, began hurting yesterday, now it's worse, and swollen, hurts all around the eye already, up to my eyebrow and down my cheek..

Hurts to blink, hurts open and closed..
I wrote to my doctor's (lifeline), this morning.. she said just keep using the cream.. okie dokie! And warm water bathing.. okie dokie!

That's it!

TTFN
Marian

And sometimes she'll get sad and she'll share it with you
Not for you to cheer her up
Just be quiet and feel it with her
Because sometimes she needs to feel it to let it go
But she doesn't want to feel so alone
jmstorm

Talking to a friend earlier, a completely wrong word popped up.. I checked it out, found it in an urban dictionary...

I sent her the link and noticed there was an advert for some perfume.. probably my next purchase of perfume.. but it's one her and I were wafted with about six or seven years ago, in Cardiff, as we spent a lovely day, just mooching around and spending quality time together.. and I wrote to her this... 

"Oh that's the perfume from Cardiff when you and I went that day...that beautiful day so long ago... When the world was the right way up and and we could see straight.."

And on a different note, there are lots of jobs I'm sure where people end up not knowing the days of the week.. and especially more just now if people are home.

I just completely confused myself more by suddenly thinking it was Wednesday! And that's why Tesco hasn't delivered yet.. I was laughing, then checked.. and its Thursday!

Oh dear.

This morning, I double gloved, used one in the store removed, leaving one on, picked up the cats collar, messaged the number.  They were very thankful I did, they have their cat, he's fine, often loses his collars so they have lots of spares! But happy I had let them know.. and surpized he'd got this far from home!

I couldn't leave it could I!

TTFN
Marian

Sometimes she'll push away what she wants
Because she wants it too much
And too much scares the hell out of her
Because sometimes people lose themselves in wanting too much
JM storm

I often use the highlight note option on my Kindle.. always the pink colour! Funny how we all have our favourites!

I also now use the option to note an edit, used to just highlight and note to myself really! But now it goes to the right person, yes it's nit picky I guess.. but after proof reading, editing and publishing I can't let errors go by.. yes not easy to read a book sometimes.. god I'm fussy!! Bad? Ridiculous?! Lols...

And rabbiting on about nothing as usual!!

All I am saying is that I highlighted a lovely piece just now and along with building a clock to tell you.. I want to share it!

".. I thought how nothing on earth offers as much hope as daybreak on the ocean..."

It's in Four Days with Hemingway's Ghost by Tom Winton

A beautiful line...

Bally hoo.. a fish? Also mentioned in the above book..  Made me start singing an old David Cassidy song.. which is a nice change from a song I've had stuck in my head for three days already!! And now I've written that down, it's back!

This is later on my almost a break..

Yesterday walking to the store for the customer, I saw a cat's collar, I didn't want to pick it up, so kicked it off the grass onto the nearby driveway; this morning it was still there, and I worried as yesterday if the cats missing, or it's home, just the collar and tag missing.

I would normally have picked it up, called the number, which I am sure is on the tag.. but I cant keep doing stuff like that anymore.. stuff has to be let go of.. I can't fix all things, I have to leave things now to fix themselves.

I'm tired!

Oh perked up just now as I went to post! Seeing today's date.. the small excited child who still lives within my heart that I am.. shouts and claps her hands with glee!! It's a month today!!

Sad.. suddenly too, Franco's birthday just five days before mine.. and the thought, brings me back to reality, and loss.. loss of so much all the time; why can't we keep everything, everyone we love.

Wish I could fix that.

TTFN
Marian

"The most beautiful part is
I wasn't even looking
When I found you...

Anon.

Okay, one more try before this hits the deck!

I have been meaning to upload these details.. of my travels this May and so far this year for distance.. 

53 miles walked in May! The majority in Bewdley! That's an amazing amount of walking and will be interesting to see the amount for June in comparison.

And I've made it half way around the world so far this year in the amount of air travel...

I will have to complete that after July.. my mission should I choose to accept it! I do!

And some poetry ~ I have decided to use poems from the book I am writing in... Poems purloined from the internet, and written in purple ink in a beautiful book. How they would have been written, in a different lifetime.

In the end
When our eyelids find their infinite darkness
You will know that our bodies were tiny universes
And that I loved you with a thousand seas

Christopher Poindexter

TTFN
Marian

Just had to add link to this song here! It's just perfect for today, and my mindset today

Can you imagine that! Mary Poppins Returns..

I woke heavy from weird dreams, unusually by the alarm.. I'd woken at half five and fallen back to sleep..

Day all as the norm, give or take..

Then I overheard the news earlier and did a happy dance!! Airports opening up!! Never been so happy about airports!! Lols.. after over 20 flights last year, and thinking I'd end up doing the same or more this year.. having done nine by March.. but no!!

Maybe I will, maybe I won't.. but airports!! Opening!!!

In the store later on, two people down the line, social distancing.. started up a conversation about not working and getting back this week.. and I added my two cents, two penethe!!

The other side of the coin to so many people over the last three months.. and sadly, I also did my happy dance.. in the store, in a line of people... Lols oh dear!! Oh well! For someone who is strangely shy I can go out of my way to make myself appear not so!

Trouble uploading this morning.. Not happy with this new Android 10!

It's bringing back bad memories of Windows 10!!! Must be the 10 factor!!

Probably repeating photographs..

But maybe not!

In the mood for ending with poem.. I always used to didn't I.. years ago..

Let me find something..

Bare with please...

Okay, an Irish blessing..

Promoted by a movie I watched the other day on Disney+...

May the road rise to meet you
May the wind be always at your back
May the sun shine warm upon your face
The rains fall soft upon your fields
And until we meet again..

Stay safe

TTFN
Marian

Taste the rainbow

Taste the rainbow!

I am seriously not a horoscope reader.. although finding myself saying that a few times in the last couple of days! Lols

But today's in a Sunday mag I have to share with you.

It says...

I know what you're thinking, this could be for any of us in these strange times..

But a quick scan of the other eleven signs has nothing similar..

And to me, knowing I am exactly in the same place for the next three weeks is a sure thing..

And maybe also, the 'what I want isn't what I need' and these strange days gives us all a time to focus on what is important in our lives.

TTFN
Marian

Went out for an hour and a half drive this evening.. beautifully warm, humid.. with blue skies and clouds building, colors of white and battleship gray..

In the distance I could see where the rain was falling.. In sheets straight down! Then we could see lightening flashes, forks directly down to the earth..

We missed the rain, followed it route; and along the verges steam was rising in the heat.  When we got back the streets here soaked and deep puddles everywhere..

A tree in the garden only just releasing the rain water.. and hundreds of bugs flying around in the humid air.. caught in the sunlight..

Now, as in the video, it's pouring.. stair rods of rain coming straight down.. lightening again..

And I'm wishing I could run out into the garden and get drenched in it!

TTFN
Marian

Tiny little flower struggling through against all odds...

And a rose.. "by any other name.."

I've deleted more than I'm posting today..

I'm very tired, long, long days, and not always easy to sleep in strange beds..

Never mind the strange dreams..

More deleted rubbish..

Lols maybe I just shouldn't post tonight.. Must be something interesting to tell you?

My phone had an update to Android 10, and it's completely mucked up my apps! Maps and WhatsApp to name but two! Location and videocalling has gone pearshaped! I've fixed a couple of issues now.. fingers crossed.

Also spent two hours trying to send my own money to myself.. from one bank to another.. and without certain things I would never have brought for a two week placement I just kept hitting dead ends! Then suddenly I did it, easy and it took ten seconds exactly! I then screwed my head back into place and rejoiced!

Also, not started the painting by numbers, and not taken up crocheting yet.. I have free time.. but no time..

TTFN
Marian

More photographs from beautiful Bewdley, pair of geese with their gosling's.. that's how low the river Severn is just now, and after the floods earlier in the year where the river broke it's banks...

Wonder what Bewdley is like in August? Actually, I can envisage.. because it's school holidays and I have already seen how it looks at weekends with good weather, even in lockdown...

I wonder if the residents, breathe a thankful but happy release in September, as schools return and their lives become a little bit quieter..

My adult painting by numbers I have spoken about several times..

Not sure those little pots can be enough! I am guessing time will tell.. if I ever dip my brush and begin.. not the natural painting I am used to using, and for some reason thought it would be easy, or at the least relaxing! Doesn't look a relaxing idea now!

Saw a post on Facebook earlier about siblings.. 'the oldest sibling..' etc etc.. I am the second in line, age wise of my father's four children.

But the oldest doesn't know I exist, born in Japan during WW2, then it's another brother, son of a Marlene E. Bellamy..  also unaware.. then my brother in Cali.. and maybe another? In New York.. born early 1970.. or late '69...

Yes lots of information here... But, well, you never know do you? I will always look for my siblings..

TTFN
Marian

Bewdley

Above taken exactly where it says it is! The forest of Wyre...

These two on the old railway track walk.. out near Hartlebury...

I left yesterday morning, by cab, three trains later I'm near Coventry...

It's really strange how I connected so much with Bewdley..

September 2018, thought it was September, lols.. can't remember yesterday, but remembered it was September 2018!!

I came here, and felt a strong connection... came back spookily January this year, and of course jumped at the chance to return in May...

Of all the places I've been in England.. it has something special, the community, the area, the history..

Anyways... Another special place in my heart to add to my home, New York and Naples..

I am here for nearly seven weeks so need a plan of action!

Exercise, back to my Spanish lessons, (forever!!), writing my favourite sayings in my beautiful book with my purple ink, my painting by numbers and learning to crochet, not just a straight line!! Mmm?!?

And before I know it, seven weeks will pass, and I will go home, fit, fluent and an artist!

TTFN
Marian

Bee-utiful.. this bee was cwtched into the warm Welsh poppy.. he is full of pollen already! And took this about 7am this morning, so wonderful...

I love bees! Like you haven't noticed!

And lavender.. just because!

Two photographs from New York, Old Westbury, three years ago today..

And two years ago now I was in New York..

Was going to post pictures of Pippa, because I was thinking of her so much earlier..

I miss her so much, I know it was meant with the best intentions, but telling me I could have her back for her last year of her life broke my heart even more.. how can I? I can't.. and it hurts so much I can't breathe as I write this.. or see through tears..

Okay okay..

Tomorrow moving on, again.. keep moving then I'll never catch up with myself.

Although this is a work related moving on! Would be weird if I just hung about here, in the house, like an added extra!

Mmm packing to do, tidying up!

Onwards.. and then home, I ache for home..

TTFN
Marian