Jack Savoretti The way you said goodbye..

I have to share this link.. 

There is just something.. so damn beautiful about this song.. his voice this song..

Mmm okay..

Good day, down the coast on back of a scooter.. gone down a few grades from Honda Gold wing to a scooter.. but it was just as much fun, maybe a little scarier though.. which on part more my fault, shorts and a denim jacket not as good protection as that which I wore on the bigger bike.

But lovely day, lunch in Los Boliches, Luna Bar.. ice-cream near the supermarket we used to buy our groceries from up near the N340.. also bought our dining table from there.. or near there?

Lovely weather.. great watching the world flying by and the smells of plants and foods.. 

Should I have taken a bike test years ago? I think maybe I should have..

Happy Father's Day to dad's around the world.. 

Just went downstairs to take a photograph of a photograph and as I pulled down the frame a candle holder fell and smashed.. 

Didn't know it was there which tells two stories.. 1) I haven't cleaned properly behind said frame and 2) why do I have crap and keep crap I don't need! 

Saw a jay on my way home.. I like them, but always feel they bring me something bad.. I guess that was it...

Edit: lols no it wasn't! Adding anything is pointless, so will just walk away and leave it there!

Also today coming back up after Mijas pueblo, beyond the village and driving through the mountain a deer was on the road.. 

Over the years seeing the signs for them, there he is, standing there looking at the scooter.. we stopped watched him, watching us.. lovely moment. And, he looked just like the signs of him!

Oh the photograph of me, my dad, my boys, outside the Whitehouse.. a photograph which didn't happen.. which my youngest son made happen for me, as I had no photographs of my dad and I together.

Three dad's there in this photograph.. now..

M.

"What a difference a day makes"

It's not that all is right with the world.. just feel in a happier mood.. at this moment..

And if this moment is a happy moment, then it should be cherished.

Down on my old home soil, sea air.. and the sound of the N340 droning on in the background!

But I'm reading in a garden and relaxed and happy.. and if my small world has to be made up of small happy moments I should be happier.. 

M.

So many things I need to be doing right now.. on the laptop.. keep opening it up, staring blankly at the screen click here and there and then shut it down.

Its like my mind is in shut down mode.

Things I want to do, need to do.

Just in a closed mind state of mind.

Changes turmoils around and around I go; down this road I shouldn't be travelling like this, overloading Facebook with reposts of sad sorry and meaningless nothings.

I am having to leave to do something in the UK, I on one hand feel like running away, as I do, and the other I so do not want to leave home, I hate leaving my home, my heart.

Other people's bad lives our bad lives.. what a mixing pot of crapola, still no information on how to live a life after pain, after heartache.

I just feel done with stuff, yet not.. 

I want to disappear into a movie with a pretty sunset and a happy ending.. the sound of birdsong and music from my theme tune.. a big smile a happy heart.. fade out.

I won't, I can't.. always keeping going eh... and tomorrow is another day. And tomorrow I'll be okay again.

Sorry friends, don't know what I'd do without being able to write my pain out.. overloading friends on the phone too with my constant whinging.

M.

Above the "Living the dream" moment of this morning! 

Watching to see which car will pop the tennis ball.. this highlight began way before I got to the bar, and bets were closed.. 

I also didn't want to play this 'game'!

Few spots of rain early but passed quickly away.. hoping my paintwork from yesterday was okay.. I haven't checked but I'm sure it is.. 

It's a Greek blue, beautiful color just a few shades different to the one up on the terrace already.

Painted the living room wall also, but the strange brown color bled through almost immediately, so I did what I did a few years also when we had this. I bought a can of silver metallic spray paint and covered it all up today.. no bleed through yet, will leave it, if I can! until Friday and paint over with white again.. fingers crossed it works.. again!

I've made a lasagne to feed me for about four meals.. maybe five? And a lovely chocolaté orange pudding! 

Last night I woke up before 3am.. and didn't get back to sleep until about 6:30am.. just enough time for my alarm to wake me!

But a beautiful dream.. walking through a multi colored forest.. puddles at my feet, shimmery and shining.. reflecting the amazing trees and colors around me.. then led to a table to celebrate my birthday!! Rockets and Lazer display.. the whole biz! Very strange, but nice to sleep and have this dream.. trees normally signify obstacles for the day ahead.. but I walked through easily and very happily, and the birthday? Celebrating!? Who knows... Was only me at the table and I knew it wasn't quite my birthday, but seemed happy enough!

Haven't managed a nap yet today, tried.. but been busy cooking and chatting on the phone, my eyes are very heavy.. maybe just a few minutes.. now.. need to make a list of the things that kept me awake in the night, parking my car when I'm away! Travel to the airport! Strange stupid things that I've done dozens.. and dozens of times... Time to practice mindfulness again me thinks! Or just not give a damn!

M.

Went visiting a friend down in Calahonda this afternoon.. made me sad... walking amongst shadows of the dead... Yeah, I know dramatic, but it always feels that way there, lived there nearly three years.

I try to make new happy memories, I really do, but it's not easy. Still the past lives with us.. does that ever change? I tell myself we have to live differently, accept the past and let it be, like a graphic designer, using overlays, wrap arounds, lay new memories over past.. see them still, but let the new be above the old.. remember to live and breathe and accept.

I say the right words I know, but to listen to my own words is the hardest part.

~~~

Mmmm okay, what else.. I had a lovely relaxing weekend.. was nice, was good.

Today also, if I can move forward.. Although way too many tiger mosquitos for my liking! Itching like... an itchy thing now.. need to cover myself with bite cream!

Watching Start up.. series on Netflix.. Martin Freeman... seen in a whole new light!! is all I am saying!

I bought blue paint today to redo the corner pillars on the terrace and some white for in the living room.. this I shall complete tomorrow.

And for now I bid thee adieu..

M. 

Some photography today.. above and below.. the Deaths Head moth..

This delightful specimen, dead sadly.. and laying on the street last week..but still scared me.. I am not a lover of the moth!! 

But how amazing is this!

Sadly no photograph but visiting with a friend last week also.. and a scorpion by the back door!!! Crazy.. small yellowy color.. and very much scorpion!

Yes just my foot and a small lizard who was flitting about!

Spent last Sunday on a bike ride.. not a bicycle.. a big bike.. was amazing!

Over five hours on the bike, final destination was Ubrique.. 

Two coffee stops on the way and direct home.

I did not want to go home..

M.

 

 

There are no guarantees in love

No guarantees in life

Risks

But then our whole lives are risks, from dawn to dusk and every second therein.

We mustn't look for happy endings we must look for happy moments, happy times and days.. 

Ends are over.. isn't it always about our journeys.. my tattoo Ithaca.. 

If we're about endings what's the point of a life.. it has to be lived..

So many of us are so very lucky; yes we've had the worse of the worse times, the end of roads times.. Times where we don't see the point.

But we're still here.. so let's make our point in this life of ours.. or .. what.

M.