I've had some doors slammed in my face that's for sure, some harder than others... it's my own fault most of the time; I will walk about with my eyes shut, arms extended and fail about in this world, still looking for an anchor, seems maybe I should keep my aim on sky hooks! So many metaphors, so tired, nothing here will make any sense in the morning, so leave it and come back later... That's a note to self not to you.. You are all used to my unusual self.

They don't get any easier either, the doors.. 'they' say one shuts another opens, who the hell said that? A guy working in a restaurant with swing doors from the kitchens maybe?

Today's was no different, and tonight insomnia now! Lol Well, I did say I was having trouble with sleeping too early, we should be careful what we ask for, because it will come!

And so, I lay restless, then saw my phone flashing and a small ray of light it was too... Just a couple of words from a friend, but the door opened again...

I was thinking as I lay here also, that in this world there is one thing we can be absolutely sure of, and that is, we can be absolutely sure of nothing!

I had planned up until a few weeks ago that I would go away for Christmas, working away from home is enough I know, and who knows soon I will be working where I live, not travelling so much anymore...  But anyway, this Christmas I planned on being somewhere exciting, somewhere different...

But then it was flight booked back to Malága and now too late!

Maybe, wondering about a trip from Malága, last-minute thing, I'll see as the time nears... I don't know where to go? Any ideas please in comments box, yes please! Really!

And if any solo travelers want to come with me, just inbox me.. so! That could be weird! Seeing as people from all over the world read this!

But hey, it's midnight, I'm exhausted, mentally anyway... So play my game...

And there better be some interesting ideas when I wake up and realize what crapola I have written... Through blery swollen eyes at a time when I should, need, to be asleep...

And now, post and be damned as writers say!

TTFN amigos!
Marian

I am extremely lax of late! Must do better comes to mind with my Blog posts!

Above a photograph I took from the terrace at home... Not here at work, where I have been since last Tuesday...

And above taken along the La Cala boardwalk, I went to the market first, then down here... The part above the only part I could see that had been affected by the storms... I walked as far as El Oceano at Miraflores near Riviera Del Sol...

A good walk and I had a coffee at the retirees bar... Lol not just for the retired by the way! Good coffee, good food!

I had been feeling a bit out of sorts... Pippa related, and then probably did the wrong thing by stopping in the forest where her and I used to collect pine cones for kindling...

And back home, well, not a good place in my head... But, its passed now, and I know I have to let the guilt go, let the pain go, I knew two years ago this week it would be as it is...

It doesn't make it better, moving on is the only way, blocking thoughts and letting go of what was, and cannot be. My decision for Pippa is still for the best, as long as I don't think about her...

Home... Home is where my heart is, if nothing else, I know this now. Any doubts about this are gone, I love Spain, I belong in Spain, my heart belongs here...

And now! Working in a very pretty area of the UK, Wales, near Chepstow.

I am moving about in too many places! Today every road I took looked like so many others I have taken on placements, I always thought if I was dropped from the sky and landed I would know where I was! Ha, no more! Except maybe where I grew up, now everywhere looks like anywhere else to me!! Lol...

Today I drove to Gloucester Quays; oh British English language, whats with this word!!! Keys!!! Keys!! Its called keys because where the boats dock look like the sticky out bits on keys!!

Anyways! The big shopping centre there, I think I have seen it advertised on the TV for some time when in the UK, first time going there.. It was too busy, too many people Christmas shopping, it was raining and the car park packed when I arrived already! Only about 11:15 maybe... I didn't actually want anything, so just had a wonder about, bought a couple of things!!! Damnit!! (and touche, with my spelling on that I guess!)

And drove back to work, bought some lunch on the way and ate here in comfort, I sometimes have trouble eating well at work, and this placement is one of those, so ate so much I don't think I'll eat again today.

I lay awake last night with an idea for my Blog today, it was nothing to do with this because I have completely forgotten what I was thinking! Should have just written it down shouldn't i! Lol

I had also written a piece on my Kindle midair to Nottingham last Saturday... It was my eleventh flight this year, one more to go next month and that's twelve! Still, better than last year I guess, when I had eighteen flights, although a couple were my winter trip to the states to visit with my brother and his family... Seems so long ago now, and so does that ten week placement I was on at this very time! Some things are best forgotten, others not so.

TTFN amigos
Marian

Just heard this...

"Life is out of control for everyone, so every day should be so exciting because we have absolutely no idea of what may happen."

There's been a lot of rainy weather since I have been home over the last couple for weeks... 

My eye is still sore!! Better, but sore and I am thinking if it could be my VR? Did I have it on too tight and blocked something in my face!! Lol.. Our sinuses are behind our cheeks, all around our faces, so maybe that is it??

I've even managed quite a few walks up to the BP garage and back now; yesterday as I set off and the cloud came down over the Sierra de Mijas I changed my route and walked the way I used to walk, with the Pipster, so this was the first time I completely followed our route.. not a good idea.. but done now.

Meeting up with friends down on the coast later, so hoping this cloud lifts and lets me get down there safely, and back again! I don't like driving in the rain, especially not here, when it rains it rains! Land slides, rocks and crapola all over the roads, rain so heavy the wipers won't clear the path even on fastest swipe! Lol

TTFN

Lol been a while since I signed off with that...

It's been awhile again since I posted; 'words' for something that flows so easily from my hands I also find it very hard sometimes.  In case I write too much pain or hurt, or feelings.  I would be seriously good to just not feel so much sometimes. To just be, just go with the natural flow of life instead of feeling like I am having to fight my way through each day and night.

And as normal from my tone I am back in my house, back 'home' back in the land where my heart and love resided since I first discovered this country back in 1988..

Yes, thirty years ago, thirty years in August, I arrived here on the 3rd and left on the 17th in Torreviejo.

Today I have woken up with a sore eye, I had a stye in my left eye a few months ago, then my right, and when I left here to go to work I was still using some cream.. been back a few days and I have another in my left eye!! Why??? It is so sore, my whole eye hurts. I am trying to think of what I am doing, what could be the cause... same eye makeup, same cleanser, there has to be something.

So after my brief sojourn into Bewdley, I went to my elder sons and stayed for ten days!! Poor kids!! I have a placement at the end of this month, so am returning a couple of days before when the flight price isn't over three hundred pounds, instead its just under! £298 to be exact, and I am really angry at that! Its school holidays, its bad enough the people travelling with families have to pay these extortionate prices, but I am travelling for another reason.

Lol... yes okay that sounds very juvenile eh!! Its like when its high season here in Spain we all have to pay high fees on the toll roads??? So again, everyone suffers for seasonal reasons!

My temper tantrum is exasperated by the fact that the flight here from East Midlands was cheap enough, but a return booked that I have lost because work changed the dates! And there was a flight, one way, Birmingham to Malaga the same time I was looking.. flying the every next day... for £15!!! Fifteen pounds!!! Crazy eh! Paid £128 including the return never to be used.

I arrived into Malága in between storms, drove home, got some groceries and was in lock in until the Friday, when it was a holiday day here! Spanish day, Christopher Columbus Day... Thursday was stormy all day, I had just about enough food to see me through, I became very imaginative with the items in the cupboards! Friday and everything shut, but the store down the bottom of the road was open luckily, its more like someones front room, and about that size, but at least I managed to refuel there!

Later I went for a long walk, beautiful day, left my phones at home, nothing, just me and my keys zippered up in the back pocket of my lycra (walking) shorts!! Lol... I walked towards the BP garage and the tower... I got half way and thought I would turn around, but I carried on all the way! It took me just under fifty-five minutes, so not bad, and felt better for it!

Unlike today, I was going to the market but rain stopped me, and now the sun is out and I can't be bothered really.  I have spent about two hours with my Oculus Go on, living in an alternate reality. Interspersed with a TV series called The Haunting of Hill House! The spooky bits are fine, but its a bit depressing; fine one to talk I hear you say!

I have made butternut squash soup, which ate some of for lunch, and was good to get my porridge this morning, I had a very odd breakfast yesterday! Sort of like a rice pudding!! Not exactly healthy!

And I think this burst of ramblings is sufficient for today, so people know I am here, I am weird or wired! One or the other or both? Maybe actually leaving the house would have been a good thing today, still time I guess...

Beautiful Bewdley part two!

A walnut and hazelnut from yesterdays walk in the park.

Going to go for another stroll on this glorious day before I hit the trains! A quick trip to Kidderminster by cab, then train to Birmingham Moor Street and walk up and under the bridge to the main New Street Station and on to Nottingham from there!

A pretty eatery here by the River Severn...

I hope this isn't the 'Ring a ring of roses' dance!!

I forgot to mention, yesterday morning twice I was nearly given a bouquet of flowers!! Firstly here I opened the door to a florist, he held the flowers out to me and I said 'I don't think they're for me!' he said oh! Checked the name on the card.. and yes I had to decline... I'm not sure who was more disappointed! The poor man offering me flowers then having to take them away, or me of course!

Then an hour later walking on the high street, a man came out of a florists not looking where he was going and walked right into me with another bouquet of flowers!!

Beautiful Bewdley

Photographs taken this morning here in Bewdley, having a two night stay over before heading to Nottingham...

This is an outstandingly pretty town, I think there was an unveiling this morning at the entrance to the museum, the Mayor was there! And some very well dressed guests!

Apart from the River Severn running through, there is a beautiful park with walkways, a lake and other interesting things!

An ancient walnut tree..

The River Severn...

Just half an hour ago I grabbed a handful of green leaves and pulled this beautiful pair of carrots out of the ground!

So sweet... And sweet they will be.

I was standing by the window on my break and while talking on one phone I snapped this cloud formation with the other!

It did, to my naked eye appear to be an elephant to begin with, but seems to have morphed into a little snouted creature!

Can only I see this? My pareidolia problem! Lol!

And above a chequers tree! Who'd of guessed! Yes, yes! I thought all those chequers pubs were named after a board game, of which I didn't know how to spell either it seems!

I am now presuming the very famous Chequers is named as such because of the trees thereabouts? A place local to where I used to live...

I have learnt a great deal about plants and trees on this placement; I always learn from the people I support, as I always say we are all full of rich histories, and wonderful lives... Here I have made jams, preserves, pickles, and chutneys. With such substantial orchards, and vegetables, I have never been able to do all this, I didn't know how enjoyable it actually is!

So much to learn from one another, I guess I worry somewhat that one day I might think all these memories from others... are mine! Could lead to some serious confusion, or very funny conversations!?!

Today has been glorious, and should remain so for the next few days... I have at least a week off from tomorrow, then I will be on the road again, when something comes up, to who knows where. I am returning to a previous placement in November, but until then it's a mystery!