'I have a colony of bats behind my ribcage, their claws hooked over my bones as they hang upside down, (and the mention of Jack making a fresh start somewhere outside of London) has them fussing and stretching their eerie paper-thin wings. It makes me queasy.'

This is a paragraph from a book I'm reading, One Day in December by Josie Silver..

It's how I feel feel much of the time, not obviously the bit I've bracketed! But the feeling behind my ribs!

I bought the book on my Chepstow placement, but only started reading it flying back from Birmingham last month.

And now here I am in Neath working and who would have believed it! It is bittersweet and I'm still not sure for the best.

Working somewhere we used to live has, is, confusing somehow. It's like I could go home, to Britton Ferry. And Franco and Pippa would be there. And I know this isn't good.

Staying in the road I used pretty much every single day, the same shops, same mountain range there, the same skies...

A really scary thought passes through my mind that I could actually go to our house and walk in and there would be everything I've lost.

and finally...

My dream last night...

I had a weird dream last night, or rather just before I woke up this morning, and luckily it stayed in my mind as I got up out of bed..

I was trapped on the side of a mountain, bare rock, mountain above me and mountain below me. There were others with me after a few minutes, but no interaction.  Then I found a bit near someones terrace, a lady started talking to me over the wall, and after a while I, jumped over and the lady gave me a hug, but then I went straight back to the mountain side.  Trapped once more.

Then I woke up, and I laughed to myself as I remembered and went over the dream.. I wasn't trapped when the lady had called me over, onto her terrace... Yet I had chosen to go back to the mountain and be trapped.

Then I kind of realized freeing myself is up to me.. If I am trapped, it is of my own making.

What a revelation! What an amazing dream! Incredible.

And I know I guess, I am trapping myself, not here in Spain, I know I don't ever want to leave here, this is truly my home, but I mean trapping myself with the past...

Thursday I accepted a placement for work, it starts next week, Tuesday. It is in Neath, somewhere I know so well... It will be great having so many friends nearby.  Bittersweet maybe in other ways. But I know the area so well, and will meet up with people... It will be great, it will be good for me. Its just three weeks, perfect amount of time.

And my next Blog will be from there... Who'd have guessed it eh!

TTFN
Marian

phew last batch of photographs from Malága!

I must have taken a thousand of this structure above... as you walk along towards the port area this is above... it is just so aesthetically pleasing! Lol

This was taken Sunday evening.. as you can tell from my long shadow!! My legs are out'standing'ly long!

In the morning walking to the bus station, the river bed.. or overflow water... not really sure where most of the water comes from, but anyway... this amazing mural/graffiti with the old buildings beyond is eye catching, someone else was taking a photograph so I just stopped and did the same!

It actually looks like I have cut two pictures together, which is why I didn't just post the zoom in!

City Hall from the adjacent gardens

And again City Hall... from above, on the walk up to the Alcazaba, I did think I might try for the Gibralfaro, but no way, at all, was I going up there, carrying my heavy coat and myself!

So I paused here next to the Alcazaba and went back down the road to the centre again.

I wandered the streets.. Malága is a beautiful city, so often missed; people fly in and out of Malága airport without pausing to see or spend time is this great place.

Malága Cathedral

Okay I had a dream!! Lol... but first I think I have some more photographs to post don't I? From last weekends trip to Malága.

A bit of a panorama from the Muelle Uno last Sunday..

The beautiful Malága City Hall... one stunning building...

 

Three photographs from the Nativity inside City Hall... It was good, but still not as good as Alhaurín El Grande...

Two more from inside City Hall...

more photographs in the next post... in about five minutes!!

I have the worse photographs for my Blog today! Lol I took my camera to Malaga but didn't use it once, standing at the barrier after an hour and half for the cavalcade to begin I was just too cold, and too many people pushing and shoving and I just used my phone... and that's the truth of it!

If only you were actually there! It was so much better in person! Even with the cold... I got to Malaga in good time, caught a bus, checked into my little apartment, studio apartment, was small, very bijou! But all I needed, and in a perfect location.

I had a wander down around the city taking my time and got to a barrier not far from City Hall and start of the parade... and then I waited... From nearly 5pm to about 6:30 when the cavalcade begun, a long time to stand but I was right up front and could not have got any nearer to the action! Although, in retrospect sitting in a chair would have been so much more comfortable, and those people who had booked chairs had the right idea, and waiting for them to take their seats was THE most annoying thing of the whole weekend! Not only were they slow to arrive, they sauntered down the street without a care in world, some arriving within minutes of the parade starting!!!

And so it began! The first were bikes, great big roaring wonderful amazing bikes!!! Terrific!

I saw about ten of the floats, each one, after the bikes, threw sweets into the crowds, me and the lady next to me ducking each time, headed straight for us it seemed! I think I caught some in the hood of my coat! The kids were screaming, and shouting to throw to them, they only threw them whilst moving... the floats I mean.  It was so much fun.

I stayed there until about 7:30, apart from being cold, and getting a bit peeved with being pushed about, my back hurt and my feet! And, I was getting hungry! So turned around to walk away and was confronted by about... phew, I don't know... twenty to thirty rows of people! At least and as the steps behind me rose up so did more rows of people... on the flat I was tripping over pushchairs and bags and who knows what!!

As always c/Larios Christmas lights were amazing, no music of course now; but beautiful to see, they looked like a cathedral... amazing... in the dark above and in the light those windows appeared as stained glass windows...

Sunday morning I walked about the streets first, having coffee.. then I went down to the port... 

And taking more photographs, still only with my phone! Just don't ask, I don't know why I didn't use my camera!

TTFN
Marian

My first photograph from this new year 2019...

Early over my home...

Last night went to a friend's to see in the New Year, ate salmon washed down by a bottle of pink Lambrusco I bought from Aldi the other day.

Watched an old movie called Breezy directed by Clint Eastwood, his second, made in 1973, a great movie, it should be in the top ten to watch movies of all time! I had never even heard of it before, and will watch it again and again I am sure. Some great lines, humour, romance, I think digitally enhanced now... Just memorable!

Had hot chocolate in town this morning, a ghost town! Bar opened just before nine, the two girls opening up looked like they had had very little sleep.. Probably hadn't!

So, it

This morning I drove into town to force me into driving elsewhere after my normal morning catch-up with the guys at the bar...

After two hot chocolates I got my car and went to Aldi in Coín, when I came out a male podenco was hanging about, he walked towards me and my cart, which I then caught on heel because I was watching the dog... I said "hola" to the little chap and took my groceries to my car.. another person also spoke to the dog.

He just stood looking sad, lost, lonely and hopeful of something, someone...

He stood head hanging low and eyes following me...

I got one of the little bottles of water I'd just bought and Pippa's drinking bottle from the car and took them to the dog.  He nervously stepped back from my approach so I filled the water bit and placed it on the ground for him.. he walked up and drank his fill...

His face was just like Pippa's and I drove away in tears.

Just filing through my photographs on my Kindle, came across this from June sometime...

It's so true, all or nothing eh!

I have been spending time in my Oculus, doing well, well better, learning to navigate my way from place to place, how to move more fluidly, and to fly, when you can.

Not used to interacting with strangers, but it's getting easier. saying "hi" to random avatars is not easy, especially if they look like a robot, or a slime (Ghostbusters), a just a floating skull!!!

There are a few too many young kids on there, school holidays at the moment.

And funny all our avatars being the same height when voices are so young!

In a ketchup only bar, Tony's Bar! Us few adults got together and went on together to other Altspace locations... One place I can't remember what it was and there was a really cool game where I would happily hang out in.. but searching today, no luck!

Still it's great, and looking forward to the Quest coming out in the Spring!

My arm hurts from all the basketball I've been playing the last few days!!

I better change to left handed for a while! Lol!

Went to a cool gallery today, chatted to the artist and he talked about his art, and the problems with loading for the Altspace world.

Yesterday a friend came to visit and we went down to Fuengirola for fish and chips...

And then to IKEA in Malága before heading back home.

A good day.

This evening at 18:00 as the sun was going down... 

TTFN
Marian

Well that almost week has gone very quickly...

I made some notes on the train from Shrewsbury to Birmingham...

Lets see what they were!

Deer - Yes, I saw deer running near the tracks and back into a forest, beautiful moment, a small herd of them...
Sheep - Yes plenty of these! and some cows, but mostly sheep!
Men with guns - This was an odd sight! Suddenly there were three or four guys standing in a field with shotguns drawn pointing skyward!! Not sure if they were clay pigeon shooting or aiming for real birds!
Field of pheasants - And within a few minutes and only about three fields along was what was quite literally a field full of pheasants!!!  Dozens of them, some close to the tracks and flying off low to the ground to get away from the carriage! Male and female... so many of them I couldn't count them... but they should be counting themselves lucky the guys with guns were not in the same field!!!
Tree carving - This was stunning! A tree still standing, but all branches cut from it, and the trunk had been carved beautifully, almost looked like a totem pole.
Sunshine - A beautiful afternoon the sun shone from the moment I left work, standing on the platform awaiting the train, the last time I will flag a train down probably... the last time I stood there, much more was well with the world... and the world I am in now is very changed...
Rivers - I passed along and over many rivers... so many small streams winding their way around the fields and through the forests.
Waterfalls - Beautiful, after some rain the rivers and falls full of rushing water, so pretty in the sunshine.
Brown earth - Not sure why I wrote this?? There had been some fields prepared I guess for spring, left bare and brown, and richly colored.
Colors of autumn - Lots of leaves on trees still... and now its winter isn't it! Still so many leaves to fall.
Watercolor skies.. - Yes an artists pallet across the skies... so many times I see landscapes my step dad could have, would have painted.

And after the train, I got lost, or just confused, at Birmingham International station, thinking it was the airport I couldn't understand why I couldn't find the hotel!! So after getting un-confused I found the airport and the hotel! Once I could actually get back out of the airport!! Signs saying where to go to fly... but to actually exit!! I didn't see a single one!!

I ate dinner in the hotel, although it was an Ibis basic, it had a wonderful restaurant which they don't normally have, maybe because its at the airport... and a coffee room close to mine, except no caffine coffee!!! Don't know what that was all about!!!

I left lots of bottles of stuff in the room in the morning and weighed my case in the airport, it was still 2.5k over the limit so had to dump all the rest!! And a pair of shoes!!! OMG!!! Lol.. oh well hey ho!!

Good flight home, got my car... bought groceries in Lidl on my way through and then I was home!

I got the tree up, got more shopping and wood for the fire yesterday...

And today, Christmas Day, has nearly passed. Watched movies, made lunch, a glass of wine, a couple of shots of something similar to Bailys... some time of the VR... Lots of calls and messages from friends and family...

And I am done.  Too tired to re-read so E&OE blah blah