Wednesday, July 17, 2019

Well, that's it!

When I turned 59 last July 17th I decided my 59th year would be a good one, or a memorable one at the very least.

And that it has!

Highs lows and all points in between!

Ending this evening, with a bang!

I have wanted to go to a firing range for years!

And more so since I became a zombie killer on Arizona Sunset!!

Panara Bread restaurant

So today after work my brother took me to one half an hours drive away, and wow! Wow wow wow!

We used a Glock 9mm, 150 bullets and two blue men posters to fire at!

I did okay, actually okay..

Sort of surprised myself.

It was great fun; the guy at the counter showed me exactly how to hold the gun, load the gun and to fire it.

Jackboys Dog Bakery
We took turns, and filled two blue men posters with holes!

At one point I started a small fire!! Lol I guess a bullet passed through with some paper attached, landed on the pile of used bullets and ignighted!

We all had to leave while it was extinguished, then back in!

Really great fun!

And now I'll take my leave of this my 59th year and move on with as much fire in soul, love in my heart and passion in my being as I am going out with...

So watch out! It's a full moon tonight and my birthday tomorrow.. another year begins!


Monday, July 15, 2019

Above is the Morongo Casino, we three drove there this morning to meet up with a cousin from Palm Springs a little further up the highway..

These three are random photographs as we drove..

I lost twenty dollars in the machines.. but my sister-in-law gave me a twenty from her winnings and I changed that into fifty dollars! Lucky money! Thank you 💋

We ate in a restaurant there, gorgeous burger! Blue cheese bacon medium rare burger.. sweet potato fries!

Very nice!

My flight to LA from Gatwick left half an hour late, but we landed quarter of an hour early..

Quick through security and baggage collection, and then handed in the certificate after that and I was out! Maybe 45 minutes maximum. My brother and his wife there to meet me in the arrivals hall! Was brilliant!

On the flight we were three, then a girl got an upgrade and disappeared.. so I moved into the window seat and we could spread out!

Slept as much as I could, and after eating out on our way home, I managed to go to bed quite late, turned my day into a long one... Over 24hrs! But I slept well, and got up almost normal time.

Friday night was interesting! My sister in law gave me some chocolate.. not just any chocolate!! Was special chocolate!! It was a very small piece, about two inches long by pencil size in diameter...

It was pure.. and not just chocolate! All legal here of course! But oh my flipping god!

I should be more careful what I let people feed me! Even if it's 'just' chocolate!

THC! Google it!!

Don't judge!! Not allowed! It's a free country!!


Thursday, July 11, 2019


Well here I am!

Gatwick airport, flown in and landed here about 9am.. now experiencing a five hour departure lounge sit it!!

I've purchased and consumed a WH Smith three piece meal... Having eaten my porridge this morning at 3:30am.. I have eaten lunch early! Lol

No doubt I'll be eating sweets and a coffee before my 14:10 flight outta here headed for Los Angeles.

Been traveling around beautiful Andalucia like a nomad.. and enjoying all I see..

Only back in time to pack and sleep before getting up at silly o'clock this morning!

I am hoping for sleep on the next flight, eleven hours.. in between eating and drinking that is!

I will put on my headphones, my eye mask and hope for the best...

The flight over was quite empty, although I was only in row seven, not sure how it looked behind me.. even though for some reason boarded at the back and made myself comfortable in row 20!! Lol! What a numpty!

All the flying I do and I sat randomly in the wrong seat!?!

Not doing that later! I hope! Who knows!

Anyways.. I moved to the aisle seat so the woman in the window seat, and I, had space between us, once I was actually in my seat!!


So LA here I come, home for my birthday... Last birthday was twenty years ago... Back in the 1970's.. just kidding, but doesn't seem so far back the 1970's...

And twenty years ago I could never have envisioned this me, sat here, now, after how my life has been since then.

I don't physically feel it, and definitely not mentally! Lol .. emotionally? Yes, maybe..

In my soul? Yes definitely.

But it is what it is...


Tuesday, July 02, 2019

Taking some time out of life...
Eating, talking, laughing, snoozing, listening to music, reading, dip in the pool, few chores..

Press repeat...

I am resting.. just being, and being the most relaxed, rested and at peace that I have been in too long a time...

It's too hot to walk.. days going both slow and fast in equal measures..

I have found Nirvana..


Tuesday, June 25, 2019

Back home in Spain..
Looking at new views in a new perspective.

And feeling peaceful and happy, and able to breathe and.. just be..

That's it, that's all.. that all is everything..


Saturday, June 22, 2019

There is a great deal we never learn from anyone, about life, about living.

Stuff we see every day, maybe we see it and ignore it, maybe it's best we each learn for ourselves?

Some is inconsequential, unnecessary, it might never effect us, or we choose to ignore it.

Maybe we stop listening to people when they're older. Big mistake.

I am thankful for the hours upon hours I have spent supporting older people especially, they have so much knowledge so much history..

But still there are things I've not listened to...

Just listen please, this is very important: Time goes quickly, it does. Even if your days seem long now, sometimes tedious, or boring...

Time is passing.

And these ten years between fifty and sixty, (god helpful me!) have been the fastest yet.

They have been the most harrowing of my life, days in which each felt like a lifetime.

But it has flown past.

Grab life, by its... Okay maybe by its hand!

And hold on tight.

I know now there are things I won't get to do ..

I'll probably, lol, probably won't get to find my dad's two other son's, my two other half siblings... Really the chance of finding a Japanese half-brother born in WW2 in Japan is and always had been an impossibility, especially without a name or date of birth.

The other brother born in Nevada... Almost as difficult it seems and I have his mom's name and her next husband's name!

I have to let this go.

We don't learn about so much, we live it, but we must learn from it.

Notice every day, wake up every day and see it, spend time in the day, not on the next. Plant yourself for a moment and breathe...

If we get to take anything with us in death, it has to be our life..

And in life we waste so much time.


Friday, June 21, 2019

Summer Solstice 2019

Ducks in the Arboretum

So today is 2019's Summer Solstice.. it's been so light so early, it's been keeping me awake.. in Spain we don't have these early light mornings or late light evenings, yes it's still the longest daylight day, but not like here in the UK.

Today lots going on in Nottingham, where I have been since Monday..

Unrelated to the Solstice we went into town for lunch, went to Chiquitos, I had a burrito with benefits!

Then late afternoon we went into the Arboretum and watched a show, performance.. it was a mix of acrobatics, and a couple of puppets...

Hard to explain, and not sure the photographs will help...

It took three people to bring the puppet to life, it was clever, just I suppose very different...

Pond in Arboretum

From there we walked into town, and around, and back again to the Arboretum... I have sore feet now.. but was a good day.. a very good day.

Yesterday we went to Highfields Park, we caught the tram, it's across town and out the other side.

The weather report said sun and clouds.. it was, but overall really nice, thought at one point a storm was headed our way.. but it passed over..

I walked a rope bridge..

And negotiated a slide...

We had a picnic, typical British picnic it must have looked too, a family sat eating under a tree, with looming clouds and staying put, just for the hell of it!

As we were packing up three ducks approached to try their luck!

She was a bit antsy when the bread run out and then us too!!


Monday, June 10, 2019

Being a bee whisperer I am always on search of beautiful bumble bees... This plant was abundant, and buzzing'ly full of glorious bumble bees...

No shortage of the amazing creatures here, thankfully!  Oh and here is, was, the castle grounds in Berkhamsted!

I arrived as you know Thursday, into sunshine, a little at least, Friday was a pretty damp day, but I relaxed and got to know a new member of the family, Ruffles! And we went to see a show Friday evening in the St Albans Area, a comedian Mark Watson, he was excellent, we were third row from the front, and two of us were slightly stressed at being picked on! It didn't happen and was a great evening out.. Had Nandos first!

Saturday the weather started a bit iffy but picked up and we went out to shopping area outside of town, beautiful sunshine by then.  And family came to visit in the afternoon, a really good day...

Hadn't been around the Castle grounds since mom was in hospital, so over nine years ago; it hasn't changed, lol, not for a couple of centuries now maybe!!

Yesterday the weather was also good, we took a trip down memory lane, visited Northchurch and Berkhamsted. Our primary school, St Mary's, the houses we've lived in... Walked along the Grand Union tow path nearly as far as Dudswell, cut through the fields, marked footpath...

And back through to the main road near the cricket field and rec.

There is a rather large fish in the 'can you spot it' photograph above! Lol

My old primary school looks a bit sad out front!!! When did the tree go? Looks like the roots are still uplifting the playground?


Thursday, June 06, 2019

Just a few photographs from Sunday around town..

Right now I am sat in the departures area, home from home!

Off to 'Luton Airport' said in the classic TV advert styley of Lorraine Chase!

Just have my small overfilled bag, bit of a squish for some reason, not sure if I'm working or not, so brought a couple of more relaxed clothing items! Lol

Yesterday was a good day..

I know I was a bit down last post.. I'm okay, just a sort of dip! But I am good, I think I was so 'up' coming down was a given that might have happened.

And maybe the bird thing...

An hour before blogging, before going out and blogging once back I should add... A sparrow had come to visit me, he flew in from the hallway, did a 360° turn in the living room.. flew back out again! So I jumped up and followed him.. He had paused on the bed and I said he needs to go back out through the window (he must have come in through!).

I couldn't believe it! Lol.. Never before has a bird flown into the house..

So of course those 'things' about visits from the dead, spirits, angels.. all of that and more.. That's why I had to get out.

Then the next morning, Tuesday morning, a rat paused under my seat down at the bar.. before running off over the feet of the Once (lottery) lady!

I checked out what these 'signs' mean, because that's me, that's what I do..

And yes the bird can signify a loved one visiting, an angel visiting..

But also that it's a sign of taking flight.. using our wings to fly and do more, to begin new ventures, new horizons...

And the rat? Means new beginnings also...

Marian (bird woman!)

Monday, June 03, 2019

Just now I took myself out, feeling a bit too tired, and not from walking, maybe a little too much of sitting down. I walk into town or around the local areas once I've driven there, but apart from world travels in my VR not much more than that..

So I just walked out, and up along the one-way street out towards Fuengirola roundabout... cutting down past the cemetery... always a bad memory trip past there.

I walked down from there to the bottom road and back around and up to the house.

Walking this route, as many, as all; all in Pippas foot steps, and never easier.

Each and every single time is like I am ripping something from my chest, my gut, my very being.

Not even sure to be quite honest what is even left there now, something taped up, something half dead and poisoned by grief and guilt, giving up Pippa.

The one who was with me throughout everything bad, the one who still loved me unconditionally.

I made it home before breaking down, the pain in my constricted throat trying not to cry in the street.

And now I am spilling my tears here into my blogasphere world, to you, who have had so much of them already. 

I'm sorry... If I didn't ... well, I don't know if I did'nt.

I took some photographs yesterday walking into town after the carboot sale I had visited first thing... so here they are.

Bamboo plantation

The roof of the bus station

The bus station

Time to eat, then hide away somewhere in my VR, safe in there away from reality.


Saturday, June 01, 2019

I have a strange little plant growing on the terrace, I didn't plant it... its a hardy little thing, strong in the face of drought!  And this year it has flowered, the plant is small and the flowers are tiny, exquisite...

Yesterday I filled the car with the big rubbish sacks and took to a bin on the way towards Coín.. I then went to La Trocha and had a wander through the stores there, it was quiet, being after 2pm and most people eating or snoozing at that time!

I had had a snooze already, I had had trouble sleeping the night before and then awake before 5am! I had my porridge about 05:20!! So by noon I was shattered! And slept for a couple of hours before heading out as above!

Everything looks great in the cave now, really pleased with my hard work, and the filler had dried the color of the wall in the living room so might not bother painting it! Not sure yet!

The top drawer in my kitchen where the cutlery is broken, the panel holding the drawer itself has come off, the attachment wasn't screwed in enough really, six possible screw holes and only two affixed, and I suppose it is the most opened and closed drawer in the whole house... so not a surprize it broke.. after about ten years though...

After it sitting on the floor for the last four months I have actually unscrewed the good bit to take as an example with me when I am out and about until I can get a new one!!

Last nights glorious sunset above... So beautiful, I am so lucky...

Today, I went down into town for coffees and then came home, the long route! I walked all the way up to the top road and walked back home that way! 

And since I have been home I have done nothing... well, until the last hour, when I prepared a quiche and thats in the oven cooking now...

I have read my book on the terrace alternating in the sun and shade... Its been quiet and calm and just so nice...

I haven't been in my VR for two days, so maybe later...


My quiche!

Thursday, May 30, 2019

So busy again today in the house! Sorted out the cave in less time that I thought it would take me, and after about an hour I was done... I have a total of about six trash bags full, I'll take them to the bins bit by bit... or try and ram them all in my car in one hit! Who knows! LOL

I went up to sit on the terrace to read, and relax... but no! I stripped down a curtain by the tank... will leave it exposed.. Its fine like that... two shower curtains and wow! I can't believe it looks so good.

I didn't stop there, I moved some other stuff around up there, and tidied up where I had just been leaving things... its done now, and looks great.

I also tried tying up the stuff that lines the tin roof... its the stuff people use for fencing, but hanging down its stretched way too much... still for me, its okay.. but... then I am vertically challenged!

Its holding up a little, but needs serious reattaching, or replacing... I don't know... I guess it'll be alright for another fifteen years 🤞

I did read... but its a bit like movie watching for me.. read a page then do something else... And I'm reading a 'real' book, at the moment.. I actually tapped the page to turn it! Crazy huh!! Lol


Wednesday, May 29, 2019

Right! I have taken a break... From what?

I'm not sure its escalated out of control and its not quite 3pm!

Firstly I came back from Coín with masks and goggles! etc etc...

I got straight to it, it being the areas of wall I had cleared in the living room, I skimmed over the bare patches with a flexible filler product, it went on mostly okay, so will leave it alone now and paint it over in a few days time.

I then went downstairs and on with the ceiling! I got up on the top of the ladder ☹ Bit wobbly what with having left the rug down... Lol.... but it was okay enough! I was still using the small plastic spreader to dislodge the loose plaster and blue flaky paint.

At some point I realized I just couldn't do the job properly with the little scraper thingy, so thought to look in the cave... by way of the terrace... my goggles were already sweated and steamed up and I was having trouble breathing through the paper mask! Nightmareishly funny!

In the bizarre I had a bit of a light-bulb moment, and for three euros thought, hoped, it would be worth the risk... I bought a shower curtain, to use as a curtain for up on the terrace.. Since the original material that we had came down a long time ago, its been one thing after another, and the last 'other' tore.

So I got the cheap curtain, went up onto the terrace, hooked the plastic rings that came with it, into place and stood, shakily... again! Hooked the rings over the bar that still seems firmly in place... and ta da! Excellent! Perfect... only took fourteen years to come up with this bright idea!  The other ideas, by the way, were all good at the time! Lol...

So, after hanging the curtain, I thought I'd sweep down the stairs and the terrace, tidy up a bit.. Great all good!

Then into the cave!! First I checked the little drawer I have in the kitchen.. its.. it was... under a unit and holding little bits and pieces for quick access.. screwdrivers, glue gun few nails and plugs.. glue.. other bits and pieces as they came and stayed!

I pulled the whole drawer out and saw it had been eaten in the corner, the whole corner chewed a way, so either a woodlouse or maybe ants?

(Turned on the oven.)

I emptied it all out on the floor and mopped under the unit to clear away and debris.

(Put in leftover half of a quiche I made yesterday.)

I thought I better get something else for these bits and pieces, in the cave (at last), so started looking for something in there, but started finding damp stuff, electrical cables that really shouldn't have been in there, other bits and pieces.. I have now filled two bin bags full of crapola!

There is so much more but I'm not dressed for the cave, not really dressed for DIY period!

I came out had a bit of a wash!! And have eaten the quiche!

Having a bad after lunch desert now...

The biggest bag on Spanish smarties ever made! Maybe...

Oh and yes! I found a much bigger, much better, built for purpose scraper to get more of the ceiling off, later!


Tuesday, May 28, 2019

Breakfast at Tiffanys... (Nigels)

Yesterday a trip down to Torremolinos and breakfast at the Tudor Rose... taking a friend who hadn't been down there for a long time and was one of his places he liked to go...

I had had my breakfast already... of course! So by about 10:30... still not really hungry, but I managed to force down a very tasty salon and scrambled egg with a slice of toast and lashings of butter... also coffee'd out, I had a pot of tea to accompany the above!

Its a nice spot just here... there... and I nip down through the countryside to get to Torremolinos and parked immediately and immediately is the Tudor Rose! Perfect!

One of the last pull flush toilets that I know of! And is a running joke I am only there to pull Nigel's chain! Well, maybe so, but also for the always good food and friendly service... always a good visit.

We had a short walk along the paseo maritimo before heading back to Alhaurín and my friends car...

This morning after town I set to with what I thought was quite a bad bit of paint flaking going on, maybe a bit of what was caused by the winter and rain and not enough fresh air... I bought a plastic sheet for the next project a pair of sturdy gloves and a wire thingy... technical term! But turned out the flaking paint was as bad as I thought and it took only a few minutes to clear off the powdery stuff and rub it back to cement or plaster ... Spanish houses!  I'll get a primer tomorrow and paint next week!

Downstairs was, is, a bigger project, and I nearly thought to leave it until tomorrow, but I made a start, putting the big plastic sheet down.. 4 x 5 metres... I started pulling down the loose plaster on the ceiling beneath the bathroom... from the damage caused by the bath leaking... about two and half years ago now I am guessing... the paint on the ceiling beneath the plaster is smurf blue... dry is bad enough, when it was wet and dripping blue it wasn't funny at the time.. but was... it is a memory stuck in a bubble... of utter 'what else' and blue hair from the dripping paint... humour in sight of devastation...

Humour when all else is lost... the human condition? Yes, that is it... the human condition...

So I stood on the floor and using the skylight window opener... lol... yes, I am very inventive! I started hooking the obviously loose patches of plaster off, revealing more and more smurf blue!  It was awkward to say the least... so I used a chair... then climbed up the stairs... to releave the pain in my neck.. already!!! Not good enough once I'd got the extra loose stuff off... So I got the ladder... and had to climb to the top to actually reach the ceiling.. being vertically challenged as I am!

I used a thing, for putting on filler and scrapped a great deal more off, but... I stopped because I am always telling people to use masks and goggles in this type of situation and that would be typical if I got some in my eyes, I also am not sure how old the paint is and if its lead based.. more than likely.  So tomorrow, mask and goggles before I finish it off!

And now I am trying to not get into my VR just yet...

Its too hot already for me on the terrace to sit and read; I really need a big tree up there... So maybe something else to do..


song Rosanna... by Toto, because? Just because... I started singing it for no apparent reason.. so thought it best I pass it on here!

Monday, May 27, 2019

Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes.
Because for those who love with heart and soul
There is no such thing as separation.