Thursday, December 27, 2012






A bizarre photo today, for my Blog which more than likely may well be the last in this year 2012, not as many postings as previous years, sorry for that, strange writings from what may sometimes sound like a strange person, who now puts a picture up of herself at 14yrs old and now speak in the third person!!

Yup, that is me, aged 14 years underneath mom and 'step' dads horse-chestnut tree, sometimes wish I was only 14 again, but with the me inside now, you know the old "if I knew then, what I know now" type of thing, still we can never go back, the present only pushes us forward...

Its been some year, a change of country, again, my third, so far, although my 'foot' could still be said to be in Spain, still having the house there, my little town house, asleep there on its own, but its not only my 'foot' in Spain, my heart too... I lost my heart to that country back in the 1980's, and now its firmly fixed there and neither will, or can, ever leave... its being held in captivity!

Now here to Wales, its still hard sometimes, especially the not knowing anyone, in Ahlaurín it took only a matter of a month for me to become friends with so many people, and then working in the newsagents brought the rest of the expats to me! After arriving from the states mom and I lived near Berkhamsted, so of course, even now I can walk around there and know many many people, from school, from jobs, just from living in the area... Even in Hemel Hempstead I can usually see someone I know, because of its close proximity to jobs, homes I've in etc.  Then Aylesbury too of course, again through living and through work...

Although I can walk into town from here, I cannot walk back, up hill all the way, and I would have to time arrival at a bus stop with arrival of a bus to not have a headache the following day!  Even so, walking around on my own really isn't great fun, I know lots of people do, I've seen them, heads down, going from A to B, but not really pausing to actually take a look around...  I do have a couple of good friends here, one I already knew, and a new friend!  I suppose I just feel a stranger in a strange place!  Which would be the same I hasten to add, in any 'new' town in the world of course!

A job would do the trick, getting to know lots of new people in one place, you always make friends at work, there is always someone who wants to go for coffee, someone who you have a connection with somehow, it will just have to be a very special job right now, or one that's very giving!  I will have a cardiologist appointment in January, hopefully [she says] living with the heart probs is do'able, its the cysts on my spine that cause the pain thing which is what's more difficult!  So I need a job preferable where I can move about lots, but not standing or walking far!!!  I've been applying for loads of jobs, and I'm not saying they're being ageist, but I suppose it could be coming into it unintentionally!

I've always been very, very lucky with work in the past, so fingers crossed eh!

All the Christmas cards we received this year was amazing, especially after last year when I had to cancel cards! I've stretched lines of cord from one wall to opposite one,  and they are all full, from end to end, and card to card, apart from some which have made they're way onto the mantel piece its so nice not having them all over the ornaments etc, where I can't touch from a month or so!

The pop up Christmas tree is cool too, and will be very easy to just lift and  flatten down afterwards, not sure if it will make it to 12th night, probably not, we'll see...

We went to Franco's mom for Christmas dinner, there were ten of us for dinner!  The turkey was enormous, and we had about ten different types of vegetables, or more!!! We had one plate of food, then we all started again, with second platefuls... phew, I couldn't even rest my arms on my stomach without feeling extreme pain, over eating I think that's called!  Cleared up, washed up, put everything away, watch a bit of television and five hours later we were back to Pippa! I think I fell asleep then!

Yesterday we had a huge leg of lamb, for dinner, but had turkey for lunch!  Today, the last of the turkey, and I won't be eating again today, what with the tonnes of chocolates, Turkish delight pieces covered in the most lovely dusting of icing sugar, and still not eaten the Christmas pudding!  Probably tomorrow, with the remains of the lamb!  Well, of course, not actually with the lamb but afterwards!!!! Silly me!!!

Tomorrow is a full moon.... So I will have a quick spin around that tomorrow night!  I can't promise presents for everyone though!

Allure of a Full Moon


Shinning Silver while the sun sleeps.
The moon begins her silent creep.
A glowing disk that entice the tide.
Dancing with the sea as waves collide.
She comes to me most every night.
Bringing with her dreams of flight .
But must depart with the coming day.
She Walks in Beauty and can not stay.
Fear not We'll meet once more.
As the sun goes down She'll be at my door.


Brett http://www.fullmoon.info/en/fullmoon-poems/brett.html



TTFN amigos
Marian




Monday, December 24, 2012



Woke up to the alarm this morning switched it off, as I lay there, I am sure I didn't fall back to sleep but I had the strangest awake dream thing, a dream flew by my mind, but in fast forward like a speeded up movie on the CD player, it flew past, it went as fast as real dreams do, a matter of nano seconds, dream time where a week can last a matter of seconds.... and then at the end... it went to 'real time' and there was a Santa Claus squished between two pieces of clear perspex, only his head sticking out, with comic stag head antlers perched on the top!  And I thought "time to get up!"

So that was very strange!

Yesterday morning I had a lovely experience, unlike the above!  Went out into the garden for Pips first visit into the jungle which is the garden!

And as I walked up there, a slow swoop and a whoosh of wings, and only just over the roof top flew the most beautiful eagle... just like last Christmas day, when Barry and I got out of the car up at El Choro, and as we did so an eagle few above us, about 20 feet up only, from us, but way up from the valley floor that we were then over looking... wow, it was amazing, and again yesterday.

It just amazes me, being so close to beautiful birds of prey, 7 - 8 foot of wingspan above my head, so close, such power!

And here we are Christmas Eve, my normal mixed emotions, that feeling of childish excitement, the possibilities, the wonder... then the bang, slap in the face feeling, I really try not to build up the happiness I feel for the month before, because the higher I get, the further I have to fall, again, I realise my dad still won't turn up to see me, [wishes of a child of divorced parents, still hanging in subconsciously].  And now still missing my mom so terribly...

Now, I'm going to work, and watch 'Its a Wonderful Life', to further my mood... last year the CD was in storage, now I'm going to watch the movie I always watch at Christmas!
 
For those I miss more than I can ever say...
You lent me a shoulder to cry on, To my darkness you gave light: A falling tear became a smile As we passed like ships in the night.   You sang a song I shall hear for ever, You showed the way to be free. Pain and loss seemed far away As we sailed the raging sea.    We crossed life's troubled water Under the midnight sky;  Memories last eternally, Though your ship has now passed by.   You gave my life a meaning, A hope that will never wane; That some day, soon, somehow,    Our ships will pass again.    

Mary Goodall 

TTFN
Marian

Thursday, December 20, 2012






Last night Franco and I went out on his works Christmas Party... Went to Swansea Frankie and Benny's first, I had a wonderful goats cheese and red onion pizza, seemed massive at 10", but was think crust and went down in four slices!  And an amazing desert, sticky toffee pancakes! Phuh, what a full thing I was, as I rolled myself down Wind Street, or did I wind myself some wind street!  How DO you pronounce it? Wind, like something blowing, wind, as in 'wind in the fishing line'!!!  Either way, it was windy, and wet, and after Frankie's we met up with everyone in Varsity, as above!  Most of the buildings down this long street used to be banks, so the clubs, bars and restaurants are in the most amazing old buildings, this one we were all in had a huge domed ceiling, most people seemed to be using student cards, handy!  And alcoholic jellos seemed to be the order of the night, although, oddly, I thought, most of the guys didn't have a clue as to how to actually get the jello out of the glass, so that was funny to watch!  Back in Virginia Beach with my cousin Tim, that's where I first had these things!  So long ago now! 199? Anyhows, I drove back, sin alcohol, in the rain, and the puddles and the glare of bright lights.... Nightmare!  Got in, then had to get all the bin mans stuff down onto the street!

Back in Swansea again this morning, in the shopping centre, the electronic pull down screen thingy, was banging, like the electric was both trying to close and open at the same time, opening, then closing, didn't want to hang around under that for long!

The shops were heaving, people where throwing £50 pound notes around like they had just been printed off!!! And the sales were already on on the spring collections!!!!

Back in Neath later and it was just the same, busy busy busy, buy buy buy... lets hope those people can afford it and not left out on the streets come January!  And so much food, what do they do with it all, you can only eat so much, surely???

Play the music, sings our songs,
Dance with me, around the room;

Across the grass and round the pond,
Dance with me under the light of the full, full moon...
M Bonelli

TTFN
Marian





Before I write my occasionally mundane, or even meaningless Blog, I want to share something my cousin sent me this, and I want to share it with you; it cannot take away the awfulness of what happened to those poor children at their school, of their fear and terror in their last moments, but for those left to feel their fear....

Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
When 20 beautiful children stormed through heaven's gate.
Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
They could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

They were filled with such joy, they didn't know what to say.
They remembered nothing of what had happened, earlier that day.
"Where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"This is heaven." declared a small boy.
"We're spending Christmas at God's house."

When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
But Jesus, their saviour, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
Then He opened His arms and He called them by name.
And in that moment was joy, that only heaven can bring
Those children all flew into the arms of their King.
 
And as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
One small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.
And as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of mom and dad."
Then He looked down on earth, the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe
Then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!"
"May this country be delivered from the hands of fools"
"I'm taking back my nation.  I'm taking back my schools!"
Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"Come now my children, let me show you around."
Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"In the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

Tuesday, December 18, 2012






This was me yesterday... Actually, greener.... I thought I would have a migraine yesterday, well by the time the pain travelled up my neck, I thought I would!

It started early on, so I went over a friends for a coffee, try to leave it behind, it didn't work, and just got worse and worse, and it turned into a big time baddie! Everything, it could be, it was!  I lost about 4lbs, great just before Christmas, the amount of treats I've packed away hidden in the cupboard!  Calling to me on occasion!

Just had notification a package I sent to Spain has not been delivered, they were out, well that's okay, but the company says they left a note, they didn't, so now I am having to get the Dad to check for me when he can!

A whole line of Christmas cards is now adorning the wall, I am not putting a single card on a surface this year, I am stringing them along the wall, in what  may be two or three lengths, I hate not being able to get to stuff while the cards are there.... Yes yes, I want the cards, but now they look good up there, will take a photo!

I am very random today, my head is still not on straight, and I have had tonnes to catch up on on here today, what with Twitter, Goodreads, the T-shirt shop has another design there now too, a Christmassy one, too late maybe now for this year, but been difficult getting the dpi sorted out!  It really doesn't make a difference and I think its mostly their "computer that says NO!"

Weather today has been okay... went to Fforestfach shopping centre, checked out an item I want in one of the shops, its still there!!!  Lots of sales on already, lots of Christmas stuff already being put away, or shoved over to one side!  And had a lovely cup of costa coffee, Cremé brulé latté... perfect!

Going now, pins and needles!

Latin Proverb 

Man is not where he lives, but where he loves.

TTFN
Marian

Monday, December 17, 2012






My Marmite face was up above Oxford Street in London last night between 10:00pm and 11:00pm... How funny!!! Shame there's not many people about, on a Sunday night in London! Never mind, nice to have my face 'up in lights'

TTFN
Marian

Wednesday, December 12, 2012



Well, here we are 12.12.12 I remember 7.7.77, & 8.8.88 holidaying in Spain, 9.9.99 Unhappy... 10.10.10, also not gr8, 11.11.11 musing about! That's it, here we are now, and there can't be a 13.13.13, we have to wait until....? Will it be the 1.1.1 First of January 3001??? That can't be correct, please comment, I must have missed some out, this can't be the very last day I will have this weird date thing I have always carried with me since, 7.7.77.... I may have to add to this later when I have woken up a bit more!!!

Its been very frosty the last few days, first thing in the morning, but the sun has come out, the sky been blue, and the frost melted, where not in the shade that is!  Its been about zero degrees, day and night!  Pippa seems to have taken to the crispy crunchy grass underfoot, she raises each paw and places it carefully down, like out cats in the snow, from years ago...

Don't ask why the photo today, I know its one I have used before, its just such a restful place, I think I would like to go here... NOW!

Leo Tolstoy

He felt now that he was not simply close to her, 

But that he did not know where he ended and she began.

TTFN
Marian

Friday, November 30, 2012






A very small part of the Alhaurín el Grande Nativity display held every year in the  Casa de Cultura, went into the Mijas one last year too, very nice, but I am going to go out on a limb here and say, "ours is the best one!"

This morning the alarm had gone off, but I went straight back into a strange dream, usual for me, strange non the less.... then the door bell rang!!!! OMG trying to get out of bed, dressing gown off the door, wondering what the time it was, still dark outside??? Who is it? who is it???

Ah, a crate of wine on my door step! Delivery man thank goodness required no signature, trying to hold dog back and dressing gown closed was enough for me!!!

It was 7:15am!!  No chance of the householder being out I guess then at that time?? I had no 'safe' place to leave it, so they must have made me top priority! Of course!!

Wine? By the case? Not normally the sort of thing, but I won it! Well almost, for a huge discount gift, answered a questionnaire and won the 60% off, so really seems rude not to take advantage!

Phew six bottles of wine in the house, not seen that for a long long time, and strange, even at this time of day, now its there..... Mmmmmm!!!

So I was up! Early, showered and dressed after a run in the garden, for Pip, then back out there, did a quick clean up sweep, cleaned the refrigerator, had my breakfast, lovely wholemeal nutty bread and marmalade, both acquired yesterday, .45p for the marmalade!!!  Bought tea bags too, and Franco said how funny it was that in Spain we would be over the moon to get 50 tea bags for about 2€, could have been more, the euros I mean, not the tea bags, now, its a whole box for less than .30p!!! Tin of peas for .09p, curry sauce only .27p, basic, but a great base to add all the extra spices to, to make it your own flavour, although it is okay on its own...

Back to today!!! After breakfast I sterilised some jars, oven roasted my peppers, chillies, onions, squished them down in my mini processor thingy, in the pan with the vinegar and sugar, added my blend of spices and garlic.... brought back to boil, washed up, turned it off, put into the jars and there are my three jars of chilli jam, well chilli relish I guess really!

All washed up now, house clean and tidy, face done, and ready for work!
Thought I would just do a quick Blog of course before I got to it!

Jon Oliva 
If I go away
What would still remain of me?
The ghost within your eyes?
The whisper in your sighs?
You see... Believe
And I'm always there.


TTFN
Marian

Thursday, November 22, 2012



I sometimes open this page up and write random notes for my next Blog.... this one "manoeuvred the truth" has been sad here for a couple of days!! I wonder what truth was being manoeuvred!!!

Today, bin collection day, and once emptied, were left to blow about on the street, I had go out and chase the tin/glass recyling box and the waste food box, bad saying waste food isn't it, if we only made food to eat, but these are bones, and tea bags. [That should be in the garden now, I suppose, actually!]

I have getting together things for my trip at the weekend!  Off on a long train journey, for very good value for money!  Thanks to booking early, trip into London, then a hop, skip and jump to next station, and a journey back out of London to Aylesbury!!  Meeting up with a load of friends for dinner in the evening, and a Christening on Sunday... then back to Welsh Wales on Monday!  Trying to keep my bag light, just seems full of snacks now, mostly of the chocolate coated variety!  Kindle is fully loaded, can't wait, except for the 6:10am journey start from the train station!!!!


Must get on with work now, just wanted to finish, and have posted the beautiful little chapel in Mijas Pueblo... Onwards and upwards eh!

Oh, before I go, do you remember, I used to always finish my musings with a short poem didn't I!

 Khalil Gibran And ever has it been known that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.

TTFN
Marian

Sunday, November 18, 2012


Couple of random photos today folks.... above Woody!  Well who else!  Garden centre near Cátama..

And here above, El Dorado, all those years looking for it, and it was in sight from my very own roof terrace, not THE city of gold, the British TV series set of course! 
Doing some work the other day, I came across a great name of a street in London... Mafeking Road, imagine telling a taxi driver the name of your street for a pick up!!!  I did have to explain to a friend in SA, "I maybe should explain before one of my sons does! Breaking it down, Ma[my] feking [expletive] Road!!!! lol, what a great address eh!"
A friend in Alhaurín added "Mafeking was a infamous siege the longest in the Boer war and Baden Powell was one of the 'heroes' of the hour if there can be one in such a bloody war."
This morning after not going out since Wednesday, Pip and I went out for a great walk, the sun was shining, the frost on the trees and grass was beautiful... I 'came' down with a migraine Thursday, it was brewing from Wednesday, my back was hurting bad, well Thursday I didn't stay up for longer than the time it took to have half a cup of tea and some breakfast, that, shall we say, made a quick return trip!!!
It was just like the old days, real bad, sickness etc, and the pain, checked my BP during a time when I thought it was getting better and it was 169/98, 120/80 is the norm, and when I got up Friday morning it was worse!  182/101!!!  I did ask the doctor if I could take the amazing migraine meds, but I can't, I know they're not compatible with my heart meds, but surely NOT having this dangerously high BP for two days!
TTFN 
Marian
 

Sunday, November 11, 2012





Dante Gabriel Rossetti (1828-1882)

    Sudden Light
          I HAVE been here before,
              But when or how I cannot tell:
          I know the grass beyond the door,
              The sweet keen smell,
    The sighing sound, the lights around the shore. 

          You have been mine before,—
              How long ago I may not know:
          But just when at that swallow's soar
              Your neck turned so,
    Some veil did fall,—I knew it all of yore. 

          Has this been thus before?
              And shall not thus time's eddying flight
          Still with our lives our love restore
              In death's despite,
    And day and night yield one delight once more? 

TTFN
Marian
 

Saturday, November 10, 2012






Lamp post along the River Thames near the London Eye.... Why? Just because I saw it!

What a day to day!  Friend was coming to get me at 11am, she was held up by an unexpected errand, then traffic, and seeing as she was late, I was there to take in a package, two of the paperback books I've just completed, and they look, if I do say so myself, blooming marvellous!!!

Then she arrived, and as I left the house... so did Pippa! I dropped everything, jacket bag, keys, sun glasses, on the ground by the open front door and I followed her as I would have a child, without thinking and in panic straight out into the street, luckily there was no boy racer [or girl!], flying down the road or both Pip and I would have been flying also!  She ran around my friends car then onto the path on the other side of the street, where I captured her!  Blooming heck!!!  I couldn't believe it, I knew if she got the chance she would bolt from the house, she did it in Spain, only here, the cars move faster, the roads are wider... and her microchip  still says our Spanish address! Doh! Our fault... only been nine months, only.... seems like years in a way too...

Anyway, Pippa back in the house and we were off, my mate wanted to buy a few things for her new home, some electrical, all a bit costly... after visiting furniture and electrical outlets we had a quick stop in a wonderful branch of a popular fast food outlet where they serve mostly chicken, from a place in south America!!!  Then back to the shops! And then back to Neath, she had mentioned she had a few bits of gold, some broken stuff, from when she was unpacking some last bits and pieces.... I suggested we take it to the shop in town, we did, we were both.... well, speachless... The money she got was enough to pay for every single thing she bought today! And it was no small amount!  Friend also thinks she may have more!

We had such a laugh today, we were like a couple of giddy giggling girls the whole afternoon!  I think people thought we were drunk... just one of those days, where neither of us could get words out straight, remember words, remember what the heck we were doing or where we were going! Drive or park straight! Oh the latter two items on the list? well, that was her.... !!!

Came home to a dark house and Pippa, sitting crossly waiting for me!  Wait till her father gets home to hear about her road running antics!  She will lose her benefits!

One of my favourite movies is on just now Polar Express, was thinking about it the other day, and yesterday it was on the TV, and again today!  Amazing, some things you ask for come to you, just like that.... others... not so easy, why is this?  Believing... all we have to do is believe... I'm thinking of putting up the Christmas Tree too, I normally put it up on December 1st, last year I had a tree for Baz who stayed for Christmas, the year before we got a new tree, I couldn't face the one that mom the boys and I had bought, years previously, and I still used.... The tree is Spain I chucked out before leaving, with everything, bar a couple of white doves and my 'special' things... My trouble is I get this great happy expectatious [made up word?], Christmas spirit feeling, then something happens on the day and I feel nothing but a great wallowing sadness, no outside influences can help or make it worse, its all inside of me, just so overwhelmingly sad and lost...

TTFN amigos
Marian

Friday, November 02, 2012



Don't ask why these photos today.... above Windsor castle! Taken from the little restaurant on the opposite side of the road, and I mean little, but lovely none the less!

I'm guessing seeing as its in the folder with the one below it must be around March time 2009...


I know I have put this wonderful photo I took of the reading man in the crypt of Winchester Cathedral before, but... There we are!

In between work today I ventured into the jungle, actually its so bad now, the garden!  Thanks to a friend I took her advise and three massive shrubs are now looking very malnourished, as in bare and needy of leaves!  The problem I am guessing is these huge plants hadn't been pruned for some years, so all the insides are dead... But today, I planted bulbs, every time I have planted bulbs I haven't been in the same house to them bloom!  Bit like every time my mom bought me stickers with my name and address on, I always moved, and was left with hundreds of address labels for a house I no longer lived in!

A couple of weeks ago, I also started a bit of a clear out of 'things'! I suppose I should say things I haven't used in years, but being a collector of all things, working, broken, old or just plain attached to! Its an almost impossible task, because everything I have has a memory, although I was once told to get rid of things that had 'memories', and I responded by saying the memories are in me, not in the item I was desperately holding on to at the time!  I lost the item, it had to go!  Luckily a friend of mine took it in and gave it a good home, and every time I get to be in her house, I run upstairs and reach out for my old, very well loved, Victorian chest of drawers!

Maybe you can tell already by my strange chat with you today, I am being a bit melancholy, again, or should I say as usual?  Its just that I've been lucky enough to have had lots of really long phone calls over the past few days, two of them lasting nearly a hour each!  And each time as I hung up, I wondered if my mom had called and couldn't get through...

TTFN
Marian

Friday, October 26, 2012






Now these are what I call asparagus!  LOL!

Can it really be a week since I last posted?  Must be, either that I posted the wrong this on the wrong page! 

So Friday already, again!  Weeks are confusing now Franco works all weekend, Fridays feel like Mondays, and Mondays feels like Fridays!

After such a hot Sunday last weekend, did you see the picture on my Twitter???  Okay will post it here and now!


Yes, it you can distract yourself from the art deco lady there.... that temperature gauge reached just over 30̊... Crazy eh! Nearly the end of October, and in Welsh Wales!








Just been out in the garden now with Pip and there is a very determined chill in the air! The air is clean and fresh, the sky clear... and the nip!

Pippa hurt herself in the garden last night!  A pattern seems to be forming here, she flew up there ahead of me, in the dark, I was slowly making my way up the dark, but before I got far, I heard her yelp, and when I got to her, she was just waiting looking at me, with her little paw held up for inspection, I picked her up, carried her back in, and checked it out, she bared here teeth at me to start with, but I stoked and massaged it better, then, it was!

I bought a snood during the week, then today found I can make them out of the many scarves I already have, so easy.... just take a scalf, has to be quite wide, well depending on how big your head it of course!!! Mmmm, and how much hair, in my case!  Either tie or clip the ends together, twisting once before doing so, now you have the scarf! Place over your head, it will hang down depending on how long it was originally, of course, loop it back over your head, so you have two rolls of scarf keeping your neck nice and cosy, then, when your out, and the breeze starts to blow, or you just need to keep your head warm, pull the top layer of scarf up from behind your head and leave it over your head! Like a cowl.... Job done!  Paid about £7 pounds I think for one, now I find I have dozens of them, and I can use them as regular scarf's too, of course!  I should have done a running photo thing!!! Maybe I will, only more likely, maybe I won't!

TTFN ammigos
Marian

Friday, October 19, 2012





Well today began with a slip in garden!  Walked up there with a glass of orange juice, came down on my hands, not knees!  Which meant I have stretched some legs muscles that don't normally get so stretched!  Even at a gym they would have required some warm up exercises first!  I kind of got my foot caught between two steps on a down hill section, well, it is either up hill or down hill in this garden isn't it!!  I saved myself well, bounced straight back up, a loud crack in the right ankle, sound that is!  I stood for a moment, Pippa looked at me, as if to say, what the heck was that you were doing, you fool!!! Or something like that I'm sure... walked back in the house and then started to feel the worse for it!

I had plans for walking into town, good really, as I think sitting down wouldn't have helped!  So hobbled into town, had a list of jobs, but had a coffee and read of paper as soon as I got there, to rest!

Then started my errands... first a chat with a monk, a different one from last time, I have no need to dodge him, but I did have to dodge two people with accordions, I am sure they were together although two streets apart,  then, walking along, minding my own business, Neath is a busy town, every day, lots of people talking or sitting, walking etc, so I am going along, about to walk past a man in front of me, when he stopped, dead!  I nearly fell over him and had to take diversion tactics![looked like I was dancing!]  He stopped to check his shoes, by bending straight over?  In the middle of the street? Suddenly!!!! He and I had a laugh about that, and two seconds later some guy in the street asks me, then the 'stopping' guy, "accident insurance?" "Do you have a claim to make?"  I said 'nearly!!!'  and couldn't believe he said "do you want a card for next time?" er, no!!!

I got home, but really was a struggle, sat down twice at bus stops, going in the other direction, so glad they didn't turn up, I would have ended up going backwards like in Monopoly!

And now?  Just my front thigh muscle is feeling a bit bruised, inside, and my right ankle hurt!  Thank goodness my toe is on the mend!

TTFN amigos!
Marian



Tuesday, October 16, 2012






To make a wish come true,
whisper it to a butterfly.
Upon these wings it will be taken to
heaven and be granted...
...for they are the messengers of the Great Spirit.


Just a thought for today amigos.... just a thought!
TTFN
Marian

Now for a scary PS!!!

Dreamed last night about a Zombie...  he was trying to get me!  There was only a piece of net at a window preventing him, made the mistake of seeing what Zombie means in our world of dreams.... Wish I hadn't bothered!!


To see or dream that you are a zombie suggests that you are physically and/or emotionally detached from people and situations that are currently surrounding you. You are feeling out of touch. Alternatively, a zombie means that you are feeling dead inside. You are just going through the motions of daily living.

To dream that you are attacked by zombies indicate that you are feeling overwhelmed by forces beyond your control. You are under tremendous stress in your waking life. Alternatively, the dream represents your fears of being helpless and overpowered.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

My head is spinning, not sure if I should be writing this on this page or my PublishedByMe page... so will have it on both!

As of this moment, I have up and running a small, but out there TShirt shop! MaddocksPublishedByMeSpreadshirt Shop! I am awaiting replies from two newspapers! 37 books in kindle for Peter Maddocks and now, also four in paperback!!!

Wish I had started all this years ago, 30 years ago maybe.... But then, as they say, better late than never eh!

Another two books in the pipeline for paperback, one in edit, another in the post!

Was going to write about trip to Swansea today... it was damp, but not cold at all, could have done with it being a bit cooler, all the shops had their heating on and they were stifling!

The police were out in force with a young woman, on the street, drunk and swearing, and making a nuisance of herself!

The podiatrist was first on the list this morning though, to check on my poor little toe, well its much better now, re bandaged, but clean and dry etc, he clipped a bit more of the.... debris, which hurt a little, then encased my foot in tape etc, I think that's why it hurt more afterwards, being squished into my shoe with all the wrappings!

Have been on here for too long today.... off now before I sink in too far...

TTFN amigos
Marian
mas mañana!

Wednesday, October 03, 2012






Me and a random gecko last year.... he is so cute!!!

Just a detraction from today! Had two things to do today, one, podiatrist, two, flu shot!

Flu shot first, doctors.... Nope, in the community hall, okay, get there.... Nurse not there, been an accident and she is held up!  So, off to podiatrist in nearby health centre, which looked amazing, very modern and fresh and abstract building!  Up stairs... as if 'walk in' podiatrist isn't funny enough, they put the department up stairs!!  yeah yeah.... I used the lift!  Elevator to my friends and family over the pond of course!

Hours wait, coffee time! Back up... Once in with the wonderful doctor, anyone who has to touch strangers feet closely deserves a gold medal in my book!

Spent a long time, answering questions, health, meds etc, then to the reclining chair, the chair of torture.... I was owing, and moaning and complaining, as she began to clip away at my very sore and poorly toenail... I used to be one of those people, who actually think they're feet are okay.... I do, I did! ;-o

Anyway, she eventually hit blood, found an ulcer and very bad bacterial infection... which was why my toe was turning red, all the way to the knuckle... do toes have knuckles?  Well you know where I mean!

She cleaned it up, iodine'd and wrapped in gauze.... I limped away, with instructions to get anti biotics, the dressing changed on Friday with local nurse, and a return next week for a check up with her!

So, off to the doctors... er, again, as I had originally gone there if you remember for the flu shot! I was told I could wait and see a doctor as they're last patents of the morning were in, as I was walking in, I was held up by these two tiny little ol' ladies... very tiny, in height and stature, so I walked slowly behind them up to the desk... they wanted they're flu shots!  yes, them too, gone to the wrong place, anyways, they sat down, and then so did I waiting for the doctor.  I gave up after half an hour, took the 'girls' aged 88yrs, and 91yrs.... to the community centre for our flu shots!  And then dropped them home.... on the way to do the shopping!!!

They were so lovely, repeating everything they said, a few times, and more again, one of them was a winner at Eisteddford!  Back in the day of course! But a celebrity in her time.... that was the 91yr old!

I came back exhausted, limping, with an aching arm [flu shot], so made some chilli jam!

TTFN
Marian

ps, oh and prepped another book for paperback! oh hum...... ta dah!



Wednesday, September 26, 2012






A Poem By Patience Strong

I remember a thousand things when I remember you: the firelight glowing on polished oak; a table set for two...the gleam of lamps in a rain-washed street; the shimmer of wet leaves. The smoky grey of November nights. The blue of April eves.      A meeting under a station clock. A song, a smile, a dance.  The muted sweetness of violins: the music of romance....A country walk and a cottage tea; a window with a view.   I remember a thousand things when I remember YOU.

TTFN
Marian

Spotted this big monster in the garden yesterday morning, zoom in on above if you can!  The Pale Tussock Moth...




And after seeing what this pretty furry little thing is like now, I dread going into the garden to see it after it emerges as the moth itself!!  OMG it looks like a vampire moth!

******************************************

Please click on this link to support 'For the love of Claire' A friend who died last week, too young, leaving a life un-lived, a family lost without their mom, a whole future to a great many people changed forever.

TTFN
Marian

Tuesday, September 18, 2012






My beach!  Well it could be, for all the people that are ever on it!

Beautiful and serene looking isn't it.... Foot steps in the sand and all that!

Feeling a bit head achy now, so will make it short!  I flew down to the post office this morning to post off a new book, paperback, and all done by little ol me!  Looks fantastic! I wore some new trainers recently bought from local supermarket, they have rolly bottoms, if you know what I mean, supposed to help exercise back and glutes, I didn't think they worked after yesterdays walk, but after todays.... Yes, they do!  My glutes are definitely aching! Am wondering if they are the cause of my head ache though now, as I write?  Because it is my neck that's giving me the head ache!

Okay amigos...

TTFN
Marian

Monday, September 17, 2012



Eclectic Blog today.. the photo above taken Christmas 2007 near Castrill, when we stayed in a wonderful cave house, all over Christmas and new years.... -9 OMG, it was freezing outside, but in the cave house, wonderfully warm... and once the sun was up, the ice melted, it wasn't so bad, fresh!

Today had a lovely walk with Pip to the park, squirrel watched, Pip was on her back legs like a ballerina pirouetting... just her tutu missing, she was also drew-ling, not sure for the taste of squirrel or the fun of the chase!! Which neither the squirrel or I would give her the chance to do!  You kind of forget the cute little things are rats with tales!!

And this afternoon I hung out the shower curtain after a wash, lovely sunny day, nice breeze starting to blow, out on the line it went, flying high as a kite, came back in doors, and found after five minutes that nice breeze was bringing rain!  Back out, grabbed it back in, so it had an extra and unexpected rinse!  Oh and yes, the rain lasted two minutes and the sun came back out! Sods law right!

I made Crunchie over the weekend, or cinder candy or honey combe! Whatever you call it, it came out rubbish the first time and wonderful the second!  The first the recipe, said to add water to the soda, but that just didn't do work for me!  Still second time lucky... now I really am all sugared out after last weeks two lots of candy floss from the fair!

I was surfing my own Blog, looking for something else and came across this poem I wrote on my first birthday without my Mom, and just wanted to post it again...



The poem below by Margaret Mead 1901-1978

You can go without regret
Away from this
familiar land,
Leaving your kiss
upon my hair
And all the future in your hands....

TTFN
Marian

Tuesday, September 11, 2012


Kate and Tony on their Wedding day in Las Vegas[baby].....

Beautiful.... both of them....

We had a great weekend down, no, over in Leighton Buzzard,  we arrived mid day ish, and after unloading our bits in the hotel, we walked into the old down centre, sat outside in the wonderful sunshine and had a couple of lattés as one does!  Then a stroll around town and back to the hotel.  Early evening I drove us to a favourite pub of mine, been there a million times, we got a table, drinks, ordered from the menu, the main course arrived first, then with a confused face another waiter brought the starter, thank goodness it was a garlic share bread thingy, the salad which should have accompanied it, didn't, and the cost was higher than it should have been, so when the manager arrived to take our plates before we had even finished I queried it, he said he would check, came back saying the salad hadn't been charged for anyway, so not to worry, I said that made the cost even more confusing, he went off in a huff to check the till, came back ten minutes later with his tail between his legs and six pounds in his hands for me!  The bar person had made a mistake... Thank you sir, very much!!!

We were up and out early Saturday morning, after a bit of a noisy night, so quiet, on the ground floor previously turned into a karaoke nightmare!  Franco and I picked up Barry from the railway station near Luton airport, I got lost going there!  Been there a hundred times, but wasn't thinking I guess, not having driven for ages either, was just confused.com!!  Anyhow, there we were at the station in our finery!  Looking just a tad out of place, had a coffee and met Baz, we came down to Hemel through Harpenden, where Barry was born, doing a fly by of the wonderful old hospital which is still standing!  Then to the restaurant, we were a bit early and after a quick drink we went for a drive about and came back at 12:30, although, after being so early we were then a little late!!!  We had a whole area to ourselves which was nice, the table was dressed for the occasion, there were 11 of us, I must admit, it was nice when Tony said, "we're at the end," him and Kate, and pointing to the chair next to him.... "Mom, your here, everyone else can sit where you like!"  Now I know what my Mom must have felt like when Franco and I got married in Vegas, but, it really is the greatest experience, its just an amazing place and a never to be forgotten day! Us parents can feel a little detached though, and when Tony said that, well, it was nice, if you know what I mean...

We had a lovely meal, and afterwards we went outside and had some great family photos taken, the sun shone, and we all had fun with everyone trying to organise the photos!  Tony thank goodness seemed to know exactly what he wanted to do, brought a tripod for his camera too!!  That's my boy!

Tony and Kate left their car there, and we drove them back home, where we all met up again, to relax, see the wonderful Wedding photos,  and of course, more food!  Franco and Dave, my boys dad spent most of the time chatting, which is good!  But strange!  But good!

Tony and Kate opened Wedding gifts, ours does not arrive until this week!!!  So can't say what that was, but can't wait to see if they like it, hope so!!!

We were the last to leave, and the hotel was much quieter that night!  The hotel was okay, don't get me wrong, but I don't think the 'hotel inspector' had paid a visit!  You could reach the toilet from the bed!  as in without leaving it almost!!!  And the kettle was resting on a tiny shelf right over the back of the TV!!!!  Still, there were no ghosts and as the hotel has been there from the time of the Doomsday book, that was a bonus!  The staff were friendly and the place was very clean, I should hasten to add!!!

All that time on the road really makes you aware of bad drivers.... people who ignore lights, signs, yes, we both got road rage, pretty bad!!  Not to mention the cost of coffee on the way there!  Coming back we stopped at a popular, although now rapidly diminishing chain of road stop restaurants, I very stupidly chose 'The American Style Breakfast'... well!  It was all I could do to not comment to the manager about that!  And those of you that know me, know I do tend to speak my mind, but I just though what's the point!  It was pancakes, bacon, eggs and maple syrup, well in the states, the pancakes are the size of the plate, and usually about 6 or more of them, layered with bacon and syrup, no eggs, well not that I had had anyway, but what showed up in front of me for £7.00 were two pancakes, side by side, the size of the palm of my hand, two tiny curled up and dry pieces of bacon, and half an egg scrambled! The pot of maple syrup was actually quite big, and considering here in the UK, that's the expensive product, I should have been pleased!  so for the past few days I have had pancakes and maple syrup for breakfast each morning, a habit I should discontinue I know! 

Can't believe it was nearly a year ago I was on holiday here, well with friends in Aylesbury, and then early October Franco arrived here!  A year already!!! Can't believe it...

This morning had a wonderful experience, Pippa and I were up on the top patio bit, near the forest, and a fox walked up the neighbours path, through into our garden and came forward towards where I was standing!!  He didn't look up, didn't see me or Pip, he got to about 5 foot from me and said "well, look at you!"  and he looked up, stood still for a moment, then flew off, well, ran off... up through the trees and into the forest up the top of the garden... as I say, a wonderful experience, remember two years ago, when I was staying at my moms, I was walking back to her house, and in the middle of the street, just like me, I came face to face with a fox... 

This week I have got another book on kindle, a children's book for Peter Maddocks, also waiting for proofs, from two different companies, to see which was is the better, and I have now published my book in paperback too!!!
 
And on this note I say say adio amigos...
and
TTFN
Marian

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Tony and Kate are back from their Wedding in Vegas, can't wait to see them! The Wedding web-caste was wonderful, looking forward to seeing the photos now, but especially them...

Now, to totally change the subject, and its going to be a weird subject amigos!  I spend so much time at night awake, despite being so tired all day!  I wake from my many and very varied dreams, I seldom have a lucid dream, so as far as I am aware whilst dreaming, its life, not a dream, however bizarre, however weird, and where it is I am, is very much real to me!

Okay nothing strange in what I have said so far, but the other night, asleep, I asked myself "if I am in a strange dream, and I die, will I stay in that dream?"  Then I woke up!  And wondered again, if I die in one of my really weird, strange, scary dreams, would that be where I would stay!!!  I mean, of course not, but I don't like the idea of a strange dream being the last thing I take with me from this world!!!

See, you warned you it would be a weird thing to say.... answers on a post-card please! And I will leave you to debate this amongst yourselves!

TTFN
Marian

Monday, August 20, 2012




Oh well, apart from a possible depressing photo above its also very small!  Which I suppose is the same thing!

Mmm, been 10 days since last post, time seems to be passing at a rate of knots! Today went to Cardiff with a friend, she needed company and directions, so I gave her both, she had a whole tonne of forms to fill out for a new job she is starting next week, and from there we hunted down another place she is having a three day training thingy, then it was to town, to Neath, we had a coffee, sitting in the lovely sunshine at the Roundhouse, a quick trip to her house, then back home about 4pm, long day!

And tomorrow we're meeting up with friends from Alhuarín!  This will seem strange, seeing friends from there, here!  Looking forward to seeing them, they live here half the year and near our house in Alhaurín the other half!

Wednesday more blood tests, others were two weeks ago, the receptionist at my doctors knows me by name already! How very sad!

Think I have lots to tell, but am too tired to think now, must try and write stuff down when I think of it.... the other night I couldn't sleep with things to add to my next book!  So not having pen nor paper, I spoke into my mobile, using the voice recorder thingy, when I played it back the following morning I sounded really creepy, like something from a horror movie, I was whispering and sort of growly!

Hope I can instil that feeling into my book!

Over now, and very much out!
TTFN
Marian
ps sorry if this post sounds a bit strange, I am feeling a bit strange! ;-0

Friday, August 10, 2012






Is this a really freaky photo?  Where my Dad grew up on 9th Av, NYNY....

Seem to be having another spell of orphanhood, [oh real word!!!] thought spell check would underline in red!!  The other day, woke up from afternoon siesta, can I still have these now I don't live in Spain anymore?  Yes of course I can, in fact need to more these days!  So, I woke up and my very first instant thought was 'must phone mom'... 2 and half years later, and I still have this urgent need to call her, infact, as time goes by the need is greater... I wish she had been here, visited with us in this house, these mountains, these towns, back in Alhaurín and the coast I could always see us there, sad enough it was, but at least she felt near there...

So to a brighter note before everyone empties a box of kleenex!  Pippa's vocabulary is now so good, so great, we actually have to spell some words out in front of her!  Incredible!  The mere mention of 'biscuit' 'dinner' 'lets go up'[the garden], are but three, its like talking in front of a small child when you don't want them to know what's about to happen!!!

Yesterday down at our local beach, trying not to take too many photos, repeats of that is, Pippa decided the sea gulls were sitting targets on the other side of a dip on the beach still full of sea water, she ran straight in, then stopped, and like Bambi proceeded to jump up in the air in a panic, because the water was so deep; she was totally soaked through, she came back to us to show how wet she was before shaking herself free of the excess water, but not enough, so got covered in sand and dirt and more water! Such fun!  When we got back I had to hoist her into the bath tub, and shower her down, towel her off, and still she thought it would be added fun to rub her coat further dry by running and rubbing all along the sofa, and into both bedrooms to make use of both beds!  Arh, my baby girl!

Went to Bridgend Designer outlet, so I am now going to be suitable dressed for my Sons wedding!  I cannot believe I am saying my Sons wedding?  He is still my baby, and no way am I old enough for him to be getting married!

I've opened up a new facebook page, for the books I have published,

https://www.facebook.com/PublishedByMe

Same name as my Blog for the same thing, just another place to put it all out into the world!

TTFN amigos
Marian

Saturday, August 04, 2012

Art Deco Dressing Table






Check out my Art Deco dressing table!  Its a cracker isn't it?  Picked it up at the market this morning, went for our months worth of meat.... and saw this on our rounds!

How much do you think?  come on have a try..... two big beautiful drawers then the two little side drawers, space between and at the back beneath the top shelf glass sliding doors no less!

It has a sticker on the top, I went over the store holder and said, well whispered really, didn't want anyone else to shout out their bid!  "Is that really free?"  he said yes!  It was free, nada, gratis, nowt and nothing!  Paid a tenner delivery charge... What a bargain eh!

I've wanted one like this for years...

Had some rain this morning, but once at the market, beautiful sun shine, all the way...

TTFN amigos
Marian




Friday, August 03, 2012






My beach!!!

Received an email today with the 1940's census for the states.... downloaded my Aunt Gloria and Dads from then, and checked out their home back then... tried to take a photo of it, but it came out bad, so left it for now, might upload it another time...

But got me to thinking how long I have been trying to find my brother[s], I know, I know, here I go again, I've mentioned numerous times a brother in the states and another in Japan... I suppose I can mention the mother of the American brother can't I?  I mean, I Blog so much it might get picked up?  He would be about 53years old at this time, Ummm don't ask!

So, his mom, Marlene E nee Ballamy, they married in Navada around 1960, I have absolutely no chance of the Japonese one, he was born when my dad was about 19 or 20 and a G.I. in Japon!  so he would be about 67!!!  I don't know why, but I don't think either of them are alive now... even the younger one....

Tony and Kate are getting married in less than three months!  I can't believe it, my baby!!  They are getting married in Vegas, keeping up a family tradition, that's Franco and I, my dad with Marlene, and now Tony and Kate!  Brilliant!

One of my cousins in the states, asked me today too, when was I coming over, so, there is no doubt now, we need work!  Franco's offer of employment must arrive immediately, and although I have a few, problems shall I say, I will have to put them to one side, and get a job, we need the money, I have too many plans, too many wants and needs, and maybe if I can work through the pain barrier, it might not be so bad on the other side!  I have up'ed my intake of painkillers, from four eight, well the instructions say its okay... so, there!

Now, to my publishing site, new book to show off with !
TTFN
Marian

Wednesday, August 01, 2012


Pippa down at The Quays last week, looking all cute and angelic!  Only we know the truth you little diva!  Next doors dog, just tried to get into our back patio just now, there is a gate between it, and the garden, which now the poor thing cannot get through!!

But he was crying and scratching, so I had to give in and take him to his mommy waiting on the other side of the wall!  He is so cute, getting bigger every day, soon, he will be too big to get through the hedge???  We think?


These pipes are across the beach, where we nearly got trapped!  You see the moon up there too?  Its going to be a full moon soon, that's good, just checked the moon calender thingy, the Moon was being full as I wrote this, so now its a full moon?!  I thought there was just a sliver missing, and on another site it does say the moon will be completely full in 8hours and 34 minutes, from now. 20.01!! So thats 04.34 then... I'll set the alarm!! So it is tomorrow which I thought, and now I am rambling away to myself tiredly... And then at the end of the month a blue moon, when we get a second full moon in a calender month!!

Better go....
Too much for my brain this late in the day, another book been finished, woke up with an idea in my head for another of my own! Think I am going to get a cheap Dictaphone for these middle of the night ideas I keep getting!  Did have one somewhere....

TTFN amigos...
Marian






Friday, July 27, 2012

Let the games begin!


The 2012 Olympics are about to start... all around the world people are poised to support their countries...
and I got to thinking about them all!  People happy, people ill or sad, people being harmed in some way by strangers or family...  People alone, people making love...


Heavy thinking for such a night, I suppose one I will always remember, as not around for the last one, and may not see another... as in the UK might not 'win' another chance to host them I mean!!


Okay amigos, here we go....


TTFN
Marian
 

Monday, July 23, 2012


After a long day this morning, if you see what I mean, came home, slept, ate and continued the long day this evening too!  Went down to The Quays, a new development in our village, which leads you down the estuary and to the sea... it took a while to get to the beach, and the tide was just starting to come in, we had seen the river starting to fill on the way down, litterally!  It was like a mini tsunami as the water flowed in and up....


As we stood the water just poured in over the beach and the ripply sand from this mornings tide, the sand looked like it was covered in something from a distance but was just the shade...

Pippa above keeping a look out at some other dogs further up the beach!

We let her off the lead and she ran about like a whippet!  She is now sleeping!


A water spout thing above, not sure what it was, or where it was coming from, but up came the water any how!!  met a man just up by here, chatted about Spain, and for a while we were back speaking Spanish!  Bizarrely.


This is a lovely conservation area, and there is a massive car park, i.e. lay by for five cars!!!!

Ice cream on way back, now exhausted and smelling of sea salt...

TTFN
Marian

Saturday, July 21, 2012



Some extremely random photos today amigos!  Above the three that came down, not looking quite so huge now!  It was more the length than the girth that made it so big!  Unusual ring pattern though don't you think?  The color difference is really odd, something must have happened to it when it was a young sapling?

Who knows, its gone now sadly, trees trying to walk just cannot be allowed to happen!


This is a beautiful little 'Forget Me Not' flower, just peeping out from a piece of slate on the steps up to the patio level area a third of the way up the garden!!  Forget Me Not....


And above, in the muffin tins, something I saw on a web site the other week, and at last had a go of making, they look good, and you know, they actually taste very good too!  I made a bit of a rooky error though, I haven't got any of those stone bead things you put on pastry to stop it expanding when you blind bake, so put in some rice, which I saw someone do the other day, a chef, obviously not noticing the paper that was put between the pastry AND the rice!  So, these had a little secret layer of rice, where there shouldn't have been, most of it came out... and I suppose if I hadn't owned up to it, Franco would have been none the wiser!

This morning, I went to town!!!  I feel like I need to get to a meeting of AA, or something similar, as no alcohol is involved of course! But some meeting where I can stand and say "my name is Marian, and I went out alone today!"  then, round of applause, and the meeting rests....

I have been out, to walk Pip of course, most mornings, although a few times less the last few weeks, just too tired... anyway, I digress... I have only driven twice since I came back in February!  Once to see a prospective job location, and another time to come back from dropping Franco off at the station!

This morning I had a great chat with a mate on the phone, got in the car and drove to town!  Parked and had a wonder around the shops, here and there, went into M&S and spent about £150, well in my mind!  Got some groceries from supermarket and drove off, didn't go home, instead I drove to another out of town supermarket!!!  Same brand, just different place, got a few more things!

I just feel so strange still, not knowing anyone when I walk around town, no familiar faces, I feel so, so, oh I don't know...

So, there is a Butterfly count going on at the moment here in the UK, was thinking this morning how I have only seen one butterfly in the garden, and that was back in Marc, and sitting in the sun this afternoon, I saw a Cabbage White!  And then another one, or maybe the same one?  I think it was drawn to the butterfly's on the duvet drying on the line!Which would be the only thing, no butterfly friendly plants to draw them in, need a Buddleia type of thing...

TTFN
Marian







Wednesday, July 18, 2012



Above our fallen tree, still looks pretty much like this too, garden guy will be back....!  With assistance!

Well, that's another birthday come and gone, why oh why do I have these great expectations on my birthdays!!!

I did work it out last year didn't I, something to do with when I was little I always expected my Dad to mysteriously turn up, really was never likely, especially after he died when I was only ten!

I still wake up all excited "its my birthday!!!!" yeah, the day can be good, usually is good, yesterday on the radio to Tenby they were playing music from the '80's, which really is nearly all the theme tune to my life!  So that was good... Tenby was lovely, then.... its almost like my birthday is over, and what? This awful feeling of disappointment hits my like a wet fish right across my face and a punch to my tummy!

No one else's fault, always mine....

TTFN
Marian