Monday, February 01, 2010

not sure the time is going, but its going fast... Mom is still in hospital, still trying to break out! she just wants out now, and i mean now! which after four weeks is understandable...

after all the meetings and the many people we have talked to over the past week Mom and i have now decided 100% that she needs 24hr medical needs, and only have nurses 4 times a day would do her no good at all, so the bed and other 8 items were all cancelled, the discharge nurse did mention that it had taken 3 hours of paper work to sort out, but never mind! well ok, never mind then eh!!!

Mom is moving to a place much nearer here, so all her family and friends can visit easily, so much better, at one point an option was miles and miles away! but it still has to be confirmed so fingers crossed...

this morning i seem to be having a bit of a panic attack which is why i am writing with such haste and .... panic! after something Mom said yesterday i suddenly thought i will have to vacate here soon! and the thought of going through all Moms belongings has thrown me into a state of shock!

there are things Mom wants me to have, all the old family books and china, this and that... then there is all the furniture, she wants that to go somewhere else, i need boxes! i need paper to wrap! i need help!!!! mentally i think more than phisical! then... what on earth am i going to do with all the things i am keeping, there are two small tables, the couple of boxes off things and all of my Dads paintings!

ok thought writing this down would help, but now just seem to be shaking and a pain is starting to reach up into my head from my neck, i think i must be cutting of my blood supply to my brain!!!!

Moms birthday cards are still there too, on the floor... i suppose i will have to start with them, now i am sad as well as shaky... oh heck all Moms clothes too? i must ask today what she will need where she is going... ok panic is set in now and the tesco man is about to deliver the groceries... he may meet a mad woman if i dont sort my self out soon....

where do i start? what shall i do? yes boxes and paper.... boxes and paper, boxes and paper....

TTFN
Marian

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

HI MARIAN
SO SORRY TO HEAR THAT YOUR MUM WILL NOT BE COMING HOME AGAIN.I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU ARE FEELING AS I HAD THE SAME WITH MY MUM ALSO MY HUSBAND IT IS HEARTBREAKING AND YOU FEEL YOU CANNOT POSSIBLY CLEAR ALL THEIR PERSONAL THINGS.PLEASE TAKE CARE OR YOU WILL BECOME ILL YOURSELF.IS FRANCO COMING OVER TO HELP AT ALL OR IS IT NOT POSSIBLE FOR HIM.I HOPE EVEYTHING GOES WELL.ARE YOU STAYING HERE INDEFINATELY.LOTS OF LOVE
CHRISSIE

Pia said...

Oh Marian...hugs...I'm at work now. let's try to have a talk today? Call me on skype if you can.

Carol said...

What a brave lady is your mom.. and so is her daughter. But you're more right than you know that you need some assistance, because no one person anywhere is capable of doing all the physical while suffering heartache. Can you get help for a few days from some relative or friend or Franco --even a few days will help enormously, I assure you, and now is the time when folks really and truly want to help, but don't know what to do.

There's no need to pack up even her clothes -- assemble whatever she says she needs, and throw a decent church coat in there as well (hey, God works a physical miracle now and then, so one never knows!), and have a nearby friend of hers hang onto the rest (that is, if you must presently clean out her house or apartment or whatever).

It's too hard to do it alone -- I had to let my aunt (my mom's sister and sometimes enemy) help. It blessed us all, though, that was the wonderful surprise.

Hang in there, and talk to people about it constantly if need be. That helps, too. God love you. You're in my prayers.

Marian said...

Chrissie...Franco is calling up somewhere to find out about taking Pippa when we need to place her for the time being, when we are both away from home... its hard at the moment Franco just started a new job, boss ok, but moneywise... i am staying until.... well until... i was in such a state this morning, blogging was a way to release my feelings... did help too, i have now decided what to do... NOTHING!! i am going to write a list so i know where everything is going, charity, boys, friends, me... then when i know i have to leave Moms place, i will have four weeks from then i think... and then and only then will i start the awful job...both my sons are away this week too! Barry in Holland for the week and Tony is off to the Dominican for two weeks... speak to you soon, take care, lovemxx

Marian said...

Carol...did you read above bit, this is my new plan on action... nothing! i went crazy this morning, scared myself a bit really...i should be given four weeks before vacating Moms place, and once i know where everything is going, it will be easier to cope with, i just have to keep myself from going ga ga about it!!! and when the time comes i will get everyone who is collecting something to come on the same day, and help me with everything else! well... the plans of mice and (wo)men eh! take care, lovemxx