Sunday, January 08, 2017

Sunday today, I arrived here, Herefordshire on Friday, flight was okay, train to Gloucester, then it should have been bus and cab, but it was raining and I got a cab from Gloucester! Cost a bit but will reclaim it when I leave here.

It's been foggy last two days, we're in a blanket of it here, no sign of surroundings.  Out in a small village, without shop or paths! Taxi driver hadn't even heard of it!

Ran out of milk yesterday, the smallest size carton ever, skimmed! Arh! I need those good fats in the full fat please!

I ended up asking a neighbour I had never met for some this morning, it's ridiculous that I have no access to milk, and nothing of my choice at all for a week, the shopping is only on Thursdays...

Not able to sleep, I know I haven't been sleeping properly anyway, but I am being woken up a great deal and then can't get back to sleep... no breaks either, I mean nowhere to go anyway, and sit up in a room with a window I can't see out of!! No.

Mmmmm well about three hours have passed since above paragraph!

Lunch done, porridge and milk arrived, thankfully!

This must for many reasons be the hardest placement I have had, mainly because I just shouldn't be here! And supporting someone else who has suffered losses is not helping at all... keeping it together is giving me a headache, a real one.

My need to flee is very real and very urgent, and I can see Franco in my minds eye at home, and that's where I should be and want to be, and trying to be positive with words for a customer talking about the future makes me come to only a dark black wall in my mind, one too high to see over and there is no way around it...
I've never seen this wall of nothingness before.  It's scary.


No comments: