Sunday, January 08, 2017

Sunday today, I arrived here, Herefordshire on Friday, flight was okay, train to Gloucester, then it should have been bus and cab, but it was raining and I got a cab from Gloucester! Cost a bit but will reclaim it when I leave here.

It's been foggy last two days, we're in a blanket of it here, no sign of surroundings.  Out in a small village, without shop or paths! Taxi driver hadn't even heard of it!

Ran out of milk yesterday, the smallest size carton ever, skimmed! Arh! I need those good fats in the full fat please!

I ended up asking a neighbour I had never met for some this morning, it's ridiculous that I have no access to milk, and nothing of my choice at all for a week, the shopping is only on Thursdays...

Not able to sleep, I know I haven't been sleeping properly anyway, but I am being woken up a great deal and then can't get back to sleep... no breaks either, I mean nowhere to go anyway, and sit up in a room with a window I can't see out of!! No.

Mmmmm well about three hours have passed since above paragraph!

Lunch done, porridge and milk arrived, thankfully!

This must for many reasons be the hardest placement I have had, mainly because I just shouldn't be here! And supporting someone else who has suffered losses is not helping at all... keeping it together is giving me a headache, a real one.

My need to flee is very real and very urgent, and I can see Franco in my minds eye at home, and that's where I should be and want to be, and trying to be positive with words for a customer talking about the future makes me come to only a dark black wall in my mind, one too high to see over and there is no way around it...
I've never seen this wall of nothingness before.  It's scary.

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