There truly is no end to grief...

For goodness sake.. love those you love now, tell them now, remember all the wonderful amazing happy things now, pin them down in your memories... Because one day, when the shit hits the fan it's the shit that sticks.

The last awful moments, the last awful days.. weeks if you're lucky, months if they were not, and don't that the wrong way, but being with someone suffering is worse than anything, watching, seeing, feeling their pain, it's a living death.

This morning, tearing through me, applying face cream to a lady I am supporting... Reminded me of ten years ago now, my mom in Watford General hospital... The the care home for her last time, applying her face cream.. her eyes searching mine.. the knowledge.  I am so broken.