"Be yourself, don't try to be who you are not"

Is this harder than it seems.. when we lose ourselves and cannot find our way back?

I struggled five years to find who I was again, seem to still be struggling, sometimes think more so now than ever.. 

Or worse, is this me now.

In Malaga yesterday early evening onwards, just finding everything difficult in my head, was a lovely evening, but what with with damn pain and worrying about no work it's just brought down to a bad place I can't reach up from..

All these sunsets photographs from Monday evening, so many because after seventeen years of seeing subsets from this terrace, never one like this, ever..

So back to last evening, lots of people begging, as always, as neverending.. 

This young man walks up, skinny way too skinny, back curved by nature? Sickness? His spine was bent not him leaning forward.. 

A placard in his hands, his name Moses and that he needed food.. 

I know I'm not in the happiest of moods but this young man broke my heart.. maybe late 30's early 40's I could see the pain in his eyes.. 

And I couldn't give him anything, I would have, I would have given him my last penny.. 

I was literally in tears.. 

In town Monday evening we were having a cool early evening drink and I gave a local girl, who always comes around, 60c, she walked away staring at what I had given her.. then turned around and came back asking me for more! Unbelievable! 

When my neighbor and I walked past her to go home, she chased us for a moment asking for more again! 

Meanwhile the sun shines, summer came early and now it's June.. 

Not sure how the time goes so fast when it feels like it's standing still.

M.

'Some grief's can never be put right'