Someone asked me yesterday about am I more relaxed now... and I replied yes I am, because I most definitely am, after 2024..  what a year... 

Not my worse, by any means, but still not sure how I got through it in one piece, oh hang on! That I didn't do! Not in one piece, but in many pieces!

Although still, it's a bit like PTSD, I can't think about much of my twenty three years in Spain without crumbling... And I wish I could just stop and think, remember so many amazing best days of my life, best years of my life really, age, fitness levels.

It's such a big great wonderful part of my life, but leaving it still breaks me.. I want to look back at my thousands of photographs, I want to close my eyes and go back to days and places and people, I want be relive and be happy about the happiest times...

But as soon as I begin I want to cry and I literally can't take the overwhelming feeling of loss that comes into my heart, loss of it all, especially my home, my house, my home overall. It chokes me.

I don't want to be like a client I had in healthcare who lost large pieces of her memories, not through dementia, but through stress and loss and sadness.

We live our lives to enjoy and to remember and take these amazing lives we live through with us, onwards and upwards! As Aslan says!

Funny I end my Blog today here, with these words, when the quote below I placed there weeks ago, always ahead in quotes while sometimes slow on posts...

M.

Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean.”

—David Searls