Phew! Been in town for half an hour and ... Well, enjoying myself, although spending a small fortune on coffee and cake in what might just be the most expensive café in town!! Is maybe a bit too extravagant! My mom would have loved this! 

Also the cake I'm eating has forbidden ingredients, but I am in a devil may care attitude today!

I am on a mission for the grandbabies, and the quest is not going well!

Now to other matters, yesterday's power loss in Spain Portugal, parts of France.. So much misinformation online, cyber attack, plane crash, solar issues etc etc... heard from sauce that people were panic food and fuel buying!!! What, more toilet rolls, again!!

It effected airports, rail transport, internet, mobile phone networks... It was pretty much lights out in stores and businesses over a huge area... 

Not sure exactly what time in every affected area but people I know personally were out from 11am until nearly 21:00, eleven hours .. way too long... And different times in-between.. some had mobile network, others not at all.

That's it, my cake has evaporated, my coffee drained from the cup, only the beautiful foamy leaf remains.. 

And I shall take my leave.. 

M.

To be hopeful means to be uncertain about the future, to be tender toward possibilities, to be dedicated to change all the way down to the bottom of your heart.

Rebecca Solnit - Writer

 

That song the 'Lost without you' song... One I often think of when I'm stood on a platform..

I got on the train this morning and it came on, without me thinking of it .. that was strange!

It is ANother beautiful stunning day, had an off day Saturday, a mix of sun and clouds.. but gorgeous yesterday all day and before, temperatures are set to hit records this week so I definitely need my summer clothes!! 

Before I buy new ones!! 

Had a lovely weekend, well, maybe wouldn't or shouldn't class watching the Pope's funeral as lovely, at all .. 

I wonder sometimes if the Roman Catholic from my grandparents runs deep in my veins, I'm not a religious person, but I most definitely do believe in something, a strong belief there is a light at the end of me... A purpose in this life that could have been worse, but has had it's hard knocks, that's for sure... 

Watching the whole of Saturday morning service, the words read out about the Pope.. got quite emotional... 

And of course, having been there with my mom a couple of times... 

Connections..

Anyways! Went for a lovely walk afterwards to see bluebells! Of course! Was quite a hike! Saturday I mean, not today..

Yesterday, Sunday, massive car boot sale in the morning, couldn't make it all the way around, especially after Saturdays hike! But was beautiful walking in the sunshine.. 

Walked Friday also and that's when I took the above photographs..

Been headachy all weekend too, but not bad just suddenly hurting then disappearing again!

M.

We're different people throughout our lives

And that's okay, that's good, you've got to keep moving 

So long as you remember all the people that you used to be

Doctor Who 

Where do you feel you truly belong? 

This question just asked on something I'm watching just now... 

But more importantly, no, just different, not more or less important..

Yesterday evening had a few really strange things happen.

I have been plowing through Doctor Who series on the BBC, and the next episode advert came up for the Special episode 23rd of November 2013, I turned to my son and said we must have watched this episode we were living in Wales then.

So I had a look on my photos and sure enough that Saturday we had gone to Swansea in the afternoon, and had a walk around the fun fair.

I then proceeded to watch that episode, the one with three or four doctors..

About an hour after I'd looked at those photographs still watching Doctor Who, I had an email saying about a code to get into Franco's email account! I thought that a bit strange as it's been eight years since he used his email and I thought accounts after two years of inactivity were closed.

So someone may have been trying to access his account, I was his extra backup, so I was notified, I went into his account and it primarily brought up photographs and videos.

One of them being when we were down in Fuengirola before Christmas, I watched and listened to it a couple of times remembering that exact moment November 2016, as though still there, held in stasis. Two ghosts forevermore.

Then I went back to watching Doctor Who, until later when I went out into the kitchen to put the kettle on, this was three hours after I had switched off the air fryer, switched it off, actually off, completely off! And as I walked into the kitchen the air fryer lit up with the word Bye and that completely threw me! I mean what! why!! my son said is not unusual for it to have a delay!! but let's be honest three hours and after checking out where we were on the 23rd of November 2013! then seeing the video in November 2016! because someone or something had been trying to access his account.. 

And then this? okay so maybe it's all just coincidence and nothing at all weird about that, or any of those three things happening at all but to me it all meant something. 

Today would have been our wedding anniversary had I not forgotten my passport so tomorrow would have been our anniversary.

M.

There is a time to live and a time to sleep

It's hard to leave when you haven't said goodbye..

These above quotes are from a Doctor Who episode last night 

 

Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.

Viktor Frankl - 1905-1997 - Psychiatrist and Author

I really love this quote above, I am very quick to respond, just me, always have been.

Trouble is when you have to choose to either respond or just let it go; in letting go and not saying my piece I can end up not listening and just blocking things out, sometimes ignoring to the point of.. well, nothing! 

This does not make sense now I've reread it, and for a quote at the end normally and placed therein before I even Blog, it has become the centre piece of my writing today!! (Yesterday!!)

Easter weekend.. only bit drizzley yesterday, Monday, other days were okay... And today Tuesday back to sunshine.. beautiful! And warm enough, no jacket just a T-shirt to walk to the Post Office, time to send the test off! Hides face!

I wonder how the couple in our old home managed through their first Semana Santa.. the last for me I remember so well, probably as well as the first one... Standing on my living room balcony, talking to my neighbor next door, she's also sold, month after I left... 

So much change, after so long... 

And now it's Wednesday! See how fast time flies by... 

I needed to add a photograph and wanted the one above, of a what appears to be... Random biscuit barrel in a charity store! 

But we had this!! Exact same one, either us, or my mom? But can't ask her... Of course.. it's as familiar as an old friends face.. 

Anyways! I digress... I went to attach it yesterday, the photograph, then realized I wanted to crop it first, got to my photographs then sorted out other stuff and well, before I knew it, I had forgotten about my Blog and why I was in that folder!

M.

The mind is not a vessel to be filled but a fire to be kindled.

Plutarch - Greek Philosopher

Photograph above taken up at Alhaurín Golf, ten years ago... Someone else lifes, was it mine?

Feels strange.. it came up on a memory on my Facebook.. I'm sure I can switch them off if I want to.. but I don't, want to.

Life only moves on when the terms for acknowledging all that's gone before have been reached.. Mmm need to keep that quote! 

We had very high winds today, felt like the house was going to take off! 

I luckily or unluckily have been tucked up in bed for the most part of the day, two days of a sore throat last week and mouthy me proudly exclaimed that nothing came of it! But two days later it did! And am still suffering, more as the week has progressed.

Have been up and still up and about now, on my third medicinal drink of the day, that's actual cold remedy hot drink, sounded a bit like an alcoholic beverage then didn't it!

Last weekend went for a wonderful drive through Derbyshire, and stopped in an area where barges more up, I've forgotten the name of it! 

There were stores and restaurants, and a nearby canal to walk along, which we did..

We stopped for lunch along the canal, an Indian restaurant, sitting on bench by the water, before hot day, low twenty's... I got sunburnt, just for the helluva it!

Was a very beautiful day... 

Photograph below was at Nottingham Castle.. 

M.

 "Anni, amori e bicchieri di vino, nun se contano mai"

Missed a Blog post from last week... 

So a quick bit from yesterday, which is actually still today, but posted already!! 

ps it's Thursday now!!

Today went to the Castle with son and his babes... Them and me running around on the climbing castle, it's fun, not so much even at my vertically challenged height! Having to keep low from knocking myself out, but so much fun! 

Sat on a bench, at a bench I should say! For lunch and rests, and coffee from the café on site.. 

A lady bug came to say 'hello' and flew off when I got to close with my phone for close up photographs! 

Also a Bombylius major, the fly bee... They are so amazing to watch! 

After the castle we went into a favorite shop of ours, Forbidden Planet it's called... A comic book store with everything plus more more more! 

I said to my son, 'I most certainly haven't grown up because I just want everything in here, and more or less everything everywhere else too!' He said something like, 'that's a good thing, no one wants or should grow up, that would be boring..'

Wise words indeed son.

M.

The idea is to die young, as late as possible!

Someone asked me yesterday about am I more relaxed now... and I replied yes I am, because I most definitely am, after 2024..  what a year... 

Not my worse, by any means, but still not sure how I got through it in one piece, oh hang on! That I didn't do! Not in one piece, but in many pieces!

Although still, it's a bit like PTSD, I can't think about much of my twenty three years in Spain without crumbling... And I wish I could just stop and think, remember so many amazing best days of my life, best years of my life really, age, fitness levels.

It's such a big great wonderful part of my life, but leaving it still breaks me.. I want to look back at my thousands of photographs, I want to close my eyes and go back to days and places and people, I want be relive and be happy about the happiest times...

But as soon as I begin I want to cry and I literally can't take the overwhelming feeling of loss that comes into my heart, loss of it all, especially my home, my house, my home overall. It chokes me.

I don't want to be like a client I had in healthcare who lost large pieces of her memories, not through dementia, but through stress and loss and sadness.

We live our lives to enjoy and to remember and take these amazing lives we live through with us, onwards and upwards! As Aslan says!

Funny I end my Blog today here, with these words, when the quote below I placed there weeks ago, always ahead in quotes while sometimes slow on posts...

M.

Seeing death as the end of life is like seeing the horizon as the end of the ocean.”

—David Searls

Sat here on the tram now, sat in a group of people all on their phones!! Oh my god what a society we live in now!! Is it better? Like this? Surely not?? Especially as I have ear pods in, toe tapping and lip syncing, silently! 

Although I probably look like someone you wouldn't want to sit next to!! Especially now as I am giggling to myself as well as I write this!

It is another absolutely beautiful day ... Wall to wall sunshine... Blue skies... spring springing all around... Stunning... 

Now, yesterday! Matlock Bath, just south of Matlock.. also known, thanks to Lord Byron as Little Switzerland.. the River Derwent passing through... It was like being at the seaside yesterday! Loads of bikes, how we arrived; loads of fish and chip restaurants, coffee shops and people!! It was Mother's Day here in England.. and everyone was out on the roads or treating moms to a special day..

I'd never been before, done so much around the south of England, but hadn't very often made the journey up to Derbyshire... 

It is full of natural outstanding beauty.. and seen on a bike that much the better, for me, including all the 'fresh' smells!! 

Was a wonderful ride out, bar the slipping off the seat part!! Not completely, just sliding forwards and backwards!!

And ending up in a local bar for a.. coffee! Of course!

And today those muscles I didn't think about while trying to hold on, are telling me they were well used!! It feels like I spent a few hours at the gym! 

Now, in town finishing my Blog, drinking coffee and eating mint tiffin in Waterstones..

Came into Waterstones for the love of the smell of books! It is beautiful!

Okay, so bibliosmia is the word for the smell of books, but says more for old books because of the breakdown of ink, paper and chemicals ... And vellichor.. also means the smell of books! For the same reason! 

I do love the smell of old books but new ones... Well, open up a new book and just breathe... Beautiful.. 

M.

Don't worry about failures, worry about the chances you miss when you don't even try

Jack Canfield - Author

Really beautiful, long walk along the canal and nearby river ways running alongside.. 

All the flora and trees coming green, really feels like spring is in the air...

Glorious day, over five miles of walking.. lots of dogs and people tagging along behind them!

The swan beneath, the partner was sitting on their nest, way too close to the towpath, worrying close... I didn't pause to take a photograph as the swan was so close and looked a bit stressed!! 

A weir to take excess water from the canal.. 

Was just so good to be out in the wonderful fresh air.. taking big beautiful breathes in.. 

I missed the smell of England.. sounds strange I'm sure... But the forests, the land, smell of nature.. Spain was, is, amazing for sure, but I guess the smells we grew up with are more ingrained than we realize.. 

I miss so much from Spain, but we have to work out what we miss most, in the end, it's those things we have to know if we can live with, or without.

M.

We are all broken... That's how the light gets in. Ernest Hemingway 

Blossom out all over the place this past few weeks, everywhere you look... Walking under these trees I had to give the branch a bit of a gentle shake, just for the fun of it.. very gentle by the way! But was beautiful seeing the blossom shimmering..

It's been warmth enough, and dry enough to be out six days a week too.. still only been a few rainy days since back from Spain March 5th... I like my beloved españa.. still raining! A lot! Yesterday the streets of Alhaurín El Grande ran white with hailstones and rivers throughout! 

All on Facebook and general viewing on the many Spanish newspapers online.

Last week I got the letter from the pensions people!

Time passes.. tick tock, tick tock! 

What have I been doing, I've been here and there and about, gathering no moss as always! 

Out with friends, and family.. went to the babes school assembly yesterday for Eid, saw a video presentation made by the class, very good.. then a second video made by another class featuring a poem they had written... Was so lovely to be included in this assembly.. 

The next part is hard to write, but I have to, I need to.

We met a beautiful couple back when Tony was two weeks old, so, nearly forty three years ago, they became very good friends, the best. 

I have always remained in contact with them, and visited them, and them me, they moved to Spain not too long after me, maybe six years only.  

They're family to me, and he passed away last week, last Wednesday, and I still can't believe it.. and because I have been in his wife's shoes, I feel the more devastated because I know how she feels and this breaks me even more.

He was the life and soul of the party, of life.. a good, kind, caring.. funny wonderful man who will be missed by many many people and my heart goes out to his wife.. 

M.

Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely.

Auguste Rodin - 1840-1917 - Sculptor

Been lovely since I've been back from españa, wall to wall sunshine.. except for yesterday when it clouded over a bit, skies got very dark and it rained heavily when Baz and I were out, although not when we were actually outside! So that was lucky!

A walk around the Forest Park on Thursday last week, bumble bees buzzing, crows cawing and squirrels, well, just being squirrelly!

I've had my heart meds changed, and now changed again as staying awake had become an option not open to me, not sure what they'll do next now.. but it's no good if I can't stay awake.. she thinks after sixteen years of high blood pressure my body can't cope with it being so low?

Had a lovely weekend last weekend, just being.. and just being is so good..

And now today sunshine again, as I sit in the station café with a coffee in front of me, before my journey down to Tony's.. 

On the train now, Grantham here I come, three trains!

Just had my ticket checked, he said my Railcard was wrong! Followed by should be for a 25/35!! I said is he after a tip! He said the only tip is 'get off at the next station!'

Which is of course the one I am getting off at! 

So funny!

M.

Where my books go.

All the words that I gather, And all the words that I write, Must spread out their wings untiring, And never rest in their flight. Till they come where your sad, sad heart is, And sing to you in the night, Beyond where the waters are moving, Storm darkened or starry bright.

W. B. Yeats

London, January 1892.

Viveros Guzmán, in Alhaurín De La Torre... 

Wonderful coffee, wonderful pastries! Mmm wish I could carry them all back to England with me! 

Had coffee here yesterday, Monday.. apart from coffee and cake, they have a massive selection to buy of loose tea and coffee beans, fresh vegetables and fruits, jars full of the most beautiful tasty items! And flavored spirits! 

A selection of scrumptious, yummy, lush amazing stuffs!

Lols, you'd think I would want it all! You would be correct in your assumption!

Enjoyed a coffee with the best pecan pastry that exists, anywhere! Yes! 

And yes, nuts are on my avoid list according to the diverticular disease! 

But you know, if I don't try some things on my avoid list, I'll be missing out on good foods too! So... Mheh! It is what it is eh! 

M.

Gratitude is the fairest blossom which springs from the soul.

Henry Ward Beecher - 1813-1887 - American Minister

There is a whole rainbow up in this photograph, if you look very closely you can see the beginning and the end.. 

Yesterday was a duvet day, or blanket day, we left the apartment for a five minutes walk, but rain came again quickly.. and most of the day; it also came into the kitchen at one point and a bucket was needed to catch the drips from the ceiling light fitting!! 

K. got the landlord out and they cleared a drain on the roof terrace, a small lake had formed and although there were no ducks or seagulls there was a small garden growing around the drain! 

All cleared and water drained away, eventually the water has stopped dripping, but under an orange alert last night, the expected storm hasn't arrived, yet! 

Today is very high winds and we walked down to Bar Cruz for coffee's, it felt freezing and only just now my fingers are coming back to life with pins and needles and burning... 

A few random items of clothing in the street, underwear and other stuff from washing lines around!! It's the time to watch out for falling tiles and such!

My old neighbor stopped by for a coffee too, was like the old days... Funny, I have old days now, already! 

I am back off soon for another coffee with another friend.. keeping under cover this time I hope, rain looks imminent!

These photographs taken yesterday!

Except the rainbow from this morning.

M.

Remember when life's path is steep to keep your mind even.

Horace - 65 BC-8 BC - Poet

 

La playa near the old apartment.. taken from the boardwalk... I have thousands of photographs of the ever changing beaches here... After each storm the coastline changes..

I am back in Alhaurín now, my friend brought me back up here from Calahonda this morning...

Leaving gray skies for blue, K. and I walked straight out and took our usual places at the Bar Cruz, two cafes and a croissant later, for me, and we walked down to a store then to my old neighbor G., down at his store for a quick catch-up.

Came home and napped! Sun still shining and rain forecast for this evening.. 

It is Peter's evening at the Artisenal gallery at the other end of town this evening, hoping for many of his friends to come and celebrate an evening in his name...

M.

It is costly wisdom that is bought by experience.

Roger Ascham - 1515-1568 - English Scholar-Writer

Ain't this the truth!

And so reflections of times passing are so evident.. walking along to Calypso just now.. over the decades .. thirty-seven years of Calahonda.. 

Bars stores roads.. So many changes over nearly four decades... 

This morning a walk down to familiar places...  

Half of me wants to keep going to them, then when I get there the other half hurts and hurts more, never less, each time.

I have had two days up in Alhaurín, 'hellos' to many friends and even my old neighbors in Mercadona, an unexpected meeting.

Saturday a friend brought me down to Calahonda, in the rain! 

It stopped by mid-afternoon, staying with J. she's taken the week off work so it's been lovely.. We came to the bar where I presently sit, next to work, ladies lunch on a Saturday so met up with lots of customers I know... 

Here today, empty tables all around and I am at a table for four, which a few are, could have sat at a table for two I guess, of course... And a man and woman have sat at my table and started smoking!! So funny! NOT!! 

Seems like I am with them, regardless! 

Monday J. and I walked down to Cabopino, had a lovely lunch ..

Monday afternoon I had coffee with C. nearby, two coffees, and a catch up...

Tuesday we went to Fuengirola with J.'s grandson, was a wonderful day out, taxi and buses, and lunch out, funfair ... Really lovely day.. 

Had lunch at Fuengirola Port ...

Wednesday! Yesterday, and can't remember! Oh yes!! Lols, off to La Cala for an appointment for J. and J. I left them to have a coffee with a friend who'd driven down from town... I met up with them after... I unfortunately was left to my own device's in the market, and succumbed to temptation before they came to save me! 

We then walked into the town and had some tapas, for me the egg plant with honey... Was lovely, but not as nice as the pensioners place along the paseo...

Then we were back to Calypso for coffees and home after a drink along by work.

In the evening I was out for dinner at the Indian at Cabopino, very nice.. lovely evening, back home by nine, shattered!

Today! Coffee again with C, then my walk to the boardwalk.. passing the missing phone booth, and old apartment along by the beach..

Better post this! Or y'all think I've disappeared! 

M.

You can't change and be somebody else in the future unless you start becoming a little better at being that future person today.

Richie Norton - Author-Entrepreneur

 

As I sit here in the departures lounge I feel a sense of strangeness ... My last journey to Spain in September, back from the states... A direct flight from New York... My last to Spain from England was back in August after our trip to Sheringham...

So flying to Málaga like this, is like returning to pre-life in Spain.

Back to 2001... Twenty four years ago.

It's just a visit, a holibobs visit... With a huge amount of wonderful lifelong friends there to see.. That is the difference, and a massive one.

Very mixed emotions, I miss everyone so much, but also worried how I'll feel when I see what I called my country, my home.

Thankful for being picked up by a good friend in the arrivals hall, a familiar face, and staying with the best friends a girl could ask for.

Yet, for some reason sat here feeling like tears are close.

East Midlands airport has changed a little, a reform, we came through the area that is designated normally for crew, and the new scanners etc will be ready by the summer.

Most of the stores are closed, probably a lot less flights coming through while they are doing this update, I came through at nearly one and were about ten people ahead of me only.

My bag went the other way too! Ha! So funny, all these years of travelling, especially for work, hardly ever did, in fact I can only recall once ever before.. no! Twice! Once leaving Bristol once Cardiff.. the later was a deodorant issue!! I think the other was an empty bottle in my bag! And now here, nothing needs taking out...and I was stopped for a bottle issue!  It seems the frizzease product was the issue and I said I can't not have that! He checked it! It was fine! Of course!

So, I need to preserve my battery, have my charger with me, good because the new seat charger isn't working!

See you from Spain next!

M.

Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down.

Roy T. Bennett - 1939-2014 - Author

Funny the paths we take in life, although maybe funny isn't exactly the correct word.. We choose different paths, for different reasons; sometimes appearing to be the right path, only to find further down, actually it isn't the direction we thought, or even wanted to go, or just not what we thought...

Then, although we can't exactly go back, we have to open a gate along that path, and choose to leave it. Am laughing now, in my head (as I am on a very packed train, just loaded up in Birmingham New Street!), as I am imagining the path and gate and a blooming huge great field with many gates and pathways! But, actually that is it, isn't it!

I have just left, four hours ago already, a great two weeks with my sister-in-law, been absolutely wonderful, family visited, visited family, met up with old friends.. been out and about and every day has been a beautiful gift.

We visited, Swansea, had lunch in the market, where we used to visit every week, and likewise for Neath and Morfa, and The Range, was a two week walk through familiar home locations, even our old street in Briton Ferry.. So much more fitted in! Including the cinema! And Sunday lunches... Where we left stuffed, not unlike the turkey! 

We ate, a lot, so need to get my act together again now! Doctor has just now, this week, added a forth tablet to my list of medications! Nothing to do with food, exactly, but I should be careful of fats and sugars because of the gastritis, just forget now and then.. 

I've slept well, and warm in fleecy fluffy bed linens and wonderful pillows... Been absolutely wonderful...

Now! On my way back to Nottingham as I write, with a new found excitement lighting up my life. 

M.

The choices You Make Today Will Determine Where You'll Be Tomorrow

Dr. Adam C. Bandelli