Sunday, June 04, 2017

Shared Path

Sorry, just more words today, at this time, morning time alone with my thoughts and you know where I am, down in a dark place, let me write now, I am full of thoughts, I will post photographs later...

You know, if I don't stop and I don't think then nothing has changed, it is as it was, and I can see-speak-message-call, have Franco in my arms again and then and then.. bam! the world comes into focus, the gears shift and grind to a halt and dam reality kicks me...

Those quotes I used to share every single day on Facebook, which now seem empty useless words... Yesterday's was all about focusing on what you want and bringing it to you! Ha! Really! It's not working, it can't, it's impossible now.

I am thinking about what I want to tell, yell, scream at everyone, live like there truly is no tomorrow, love laugh breathe... Enjoy remember, above all feel the memories, imprint them, down to your very soul... Because tomorrow isn't a given... Always be so amazingly thankful to those you love, and I mean tell them! Not on fb etc, tell them for real, because in a heartbeat they will be gone; we get cross, we argue, some might shout and scream, but always close the day with loving words and a gentle touch.

My tomorrow has radically changed, the road Franco and I walked hand in hand is closed. Barricaded, darkness beyond... My tomorrow is off down an adjacent pathway now, it'll curve around and meet up with my Franco later, I know... but, I can't​ reach his hand to hold mine, and I don't know if I can do it, this path.  I was always the girl who forged new paths, always went my own way, but for fourteen years it was a shared path, a shared road, and we, Franco and I, believed it would be us together walking it forever into our old age.. 

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