Had a good day yesterday in Southend ..

Two gorgeous little beavers all snuggled up head to toe..

In the sea life centre..

'What you can see is only half of what there is...' 

Few 'shorts' videos from sea life centre.. We went in there twice.. 

First above is in the butterfly enclosure..

And below, took a few photographs of the piranha fish, thought I'd take a short video as they don't really move.. just awaiting their prey... 

Weather wasn't too bad... Cloudy and a bit breezy at times, blue sky was there and some sunshine.. 

But just before leaving the centre it started raining... Heavy!! 

Still we were lucky.. Good journey down and back..

Last night after getting to bed was a thunderstorm.. lightening lit up the bedroom and I thought it was a flash of car lights... Till the boom!

Today, is a little more on the damp side and I feel like I want to wrap up in warm cosy comfies and drink warm chocolatey drinks... 

Trying to keep from online shopping, which is why I'm here.. 

I can feel my resolve fading and know when I click send here I'll be right over to the page burning a hole in my phone!

M.

The greatest thing is, at any moment, to be willing to give up who we are in order to become all that we can be.

Max De Pree - 1924-2017 - American Businessman-Writer

Thoughts from just before landing on Sunday morning.. 

A beautiful uneven patchwork blanket of fields divided by hedgerows and trees of so many variations.. filled by nature's ever changing colors

Colors changed by seasons and also from dawn to dusk and all the time between.. 

And I must find the photographs I took ages ago when in the air.. did I post them I wonder? I was randomly looking at maps and it still showed my progress.. even though my phone on flight mode.. 

Ducks.. eating from my hand and pidgeons a little moor pecky and sharp beaked! The ducks bills although not pointy very hard and insistent to get the grains of food.. leaving a very funny feeling on the palm!

Never done that before.. something new and strange ..

Above from the Nottingham Arboretum

Above, the stepping stones and a bench at the park at Highfields.. walk around the lake and woods, an over the stepping stones.. 

I was focused on the Lions head when I noticed the shield bug beneath.. it's amazing how much life goes on where we're not looking..

Ice cream in Yumi's on Thursday afternoon after we'd rested a little!

And before leaving Nottingham we had breakfast in M&S before leaving for the train station.. a very nice bacon roll!!

Now at Tony's.. 

M.

 Quote:

You can only lose something that you have, but you cannot lose something that you are

Eckhart Tolle

Yesterday the first thing I did when I got off the coach in Nottingham was go to Gregg's.. I had been craving a bacon and cheese wrap, turnover? I think turnover.. So this is what I had to have.. It was just after 10am.. so that and a flat white coffee eating in! It was soooo good!

Randomly the map above.. I was on the main road here in the coach and laughed because of the name of this adjoining road... Bye pass road! Not Bypass.. actually bye pass road! So had to check it out on maps immediately.. how odd!

Yesterday afternoon we went to The Range, I had also missed this store and as soon as I walked in I could have bought a thousand things! Halloween and Christmas had both started in there!! Bizarrely, or not, depending on one's way of thinking! 

So many things there and really only looked around a third of it! 

We walked there and back, I was fairly tired by then! 

I then popped into Asda and the family went on home ahead of me.. I needed a few bits, I bought a three pack of my now favourite Desperados, couldn't find that, and at the self service an alarm went off, you know, just in case I was under age! Guy came along and just put in his pin to clear the sale.. I said, "okay okay, I know I'm old enough but give me a glance first eh!" He laughed! 

I had an early night, slept well, what with the early morning start, travel, walking and strong pain meds at bed time! 

Today, we walked to The Range again, nothing to do with me!! Just had to go back.. 

And later on around the Forest park.. quite a wind picked up, but it was so good to feel the cool breeze..

Although I heard it rained back home yesterday! 

All in all not a bad weather day for a bank holiday!

M.

As I leave the house this morning walking down to town, the day before my trip... there is a different smell in the air feels just that tiny little bit cooler, but yesterday was 28 degrees down outside work and then I got home it was still 32 degrees 7 in the afternoon.

Walking down now as clouds in front of me over Malaga and a red glow in the sky thankfully it's just the sunrise, or rather the reflection of the sun rise.. because I last time I saw a red glow over there it was the fire.

Work has been really busy so many tourists which is good to see... I've absolutely exhausted.

Still waiting for the MRI in September.. although at least I know know no from the CT scan it's nothing to worry about.. and then come October the appointment with the urologist which will be one year from my original enquiry.

I had a course of antibiotics from my doctor, then a week later a second two day extra strong antibiotic.. the later ruined my bodys health..

And now this afternoon I can feel the infection back.. no time to go to urgencia, no time to go to coast to buy antibiotics.. 

I feel sick and pain is bad.. tramadol is my only answer and it will help me sleep early.. but nothing else now can I do.

Although I haven't been blogging although I do think constantly of what I would write.. I should speak into my notes as I am now, would be a much better thing to do I could just talk into my phone copy and paste..

At least I would forget what I plan on saying all the time.

Did I put these on last post? 

I wonder how many photographs of the corner of the ayuntamiento I have taken over the last seventeen years .. 

And now, eat, sleep, wake, fly..

M.

Ps I think mine is a little tired.. it needs a reboot! A waking up, an injection of something, my old something, what was it Austin Powers had? Oh yes his Mojo! 

Apologies for errors and mis-grammar too tired to check for stuff...

Sometimes I feel like a different person, someone without worries, or sadness.. someone positive, someone still with hopes and dreams..

Today this is me.. from watching that damn last episode of Fraser with the damn poem and his last damn words! 

But today for the first time I saw it, years it differently.. How many chances how many risks do we take, miss.. have ans should take, every single bloody day!

Okay, maybe shouldn't be cursing but really this isn't bad is it?

I came home from work, well, home to a friend's, had two bottles of Desperados beer tequila y Ginger.. only 5% .. 

Stuck in my ear buds and hit play.. walked down to the beach.. along the beach past Cabopino port and onto 'our' beach.. Always a mix of memories and emotions there.. always.. 

Took my shoes off and just stood in the sea... Picked up random beautiful shiny shells and sea worn stones.. 

I looked at them, appreciated them and threw them back.. too long I have picked up collected saved and kept these beautiful stones.. 

Too soon they lose their luster and beauty they shouldn't be taken from where they shine.. 

This could be used as a proverb I'm sure for many things..

Now I've come back past the port and found a table amongst the heaving masses of vacationers.. at La Lonia Chiringuito...

And drinking a tinto verano.. because, well, quite honestly.. I can! 

And I guess with the two mild beers still causing through my veins I don't care I'm on my own..

No one is looking at me like I have two heads!

To be honest I probably look very relaxed!

I could quite honestly just sit here forever and just keep writing to you..

But mis amigos can't post photos so saving and putting this down...

And now posting!

M.

 

Well it's been quite some week..

On the third day of the fires the firemen got the fires under control 

And this I wrote around the 18th? 

Who knows, the time passes good or bad.. it passes, as do all things.

The fire that came under control was on my birthday, the 17th..

Good day, went out with friends in town in the evening, ate drank and was merry.

Since then the fires continue in other areas, especially frightening on the road where friends from work live, the road from here to La Cala.. way too close for comfort and they were evacuated.

I've been to the doctors, and for the upteenth time, or at least a minimum of six times, have been put on antibiotics for infection in my kidneys.. at least I know it's these cysts causing the infections, although the doctor, not mine, took some persuading, I think I know when my body isn't doing what it should, and after getting the test he realised I was indeed suffering from an infection!!! 

I am so done with this. For the pain Tramadol/paracetamol mix, so although tramadol isn't so good, it's not as full strength as the one that knocked me out before.

Friend and I had a great evening at the local Artsenal Inoxis Gallery, last Saturday, great rock band, in a wonderful setting, midway through sharing pizza with the band! 

A real breathe or fresh air and doing something different evening.

Photographs are the peach and fig tree we used to have on the terrace..

Miss having the big plants up there.. they too were fresh air of a different kind.. would be lovely to have a small jungle of big plants deposited up there by crane! That'd be a wonderful surprise for the town hall peeps to see!

M.

By my back door last evening.

Yesterday afternoon three fires started on our side of the Sierra de Mijas... They reached Laura Golf and closed the road to Alhaurín de la Torre from us..

On my terrace last night.

Ash rained down like snow from the start and still falling last night at it grew dark.. 

Driving to work this morning I could still see smoke pluming into the sky so it's still burning..

Made a really weird sky last night and still this morning.. 

Sitting in the car now feels strange not to see the ash falling as chatting to a neighbor last night for some time, it continued to fall, kinda get used to it real quickly.

A charred leaf.. burnt where it grew and blown to my terrace.. intact, so many pieces or almost while leaves and twigs.. burnt so ferociously and so quickly they kept their shape and form.

Last night's sunset.. or nearly, still an hour or more from setting..

This morning the terrace completely covered in ash again.. shouldn't have bothered sweeping or suffering from coughing!! My fault!!

And the car.. covered.

On leaving the carpark this morning, strangely spectacular sunrise..

 M.

Franco's birthday today, 65 in Neverland, always young.. I know maybe seems a strange photograph, but with good memories for him and I..

I very randomly and probably rarely do my tarot cards... 

They're usually mostly spot on when I do a kind of 'here and now' spread, as I think of it...

Today when a friend was around I suddenly got up got the cards.. and just being silly did a shuffle and cut and said this was for her dog.. which was fine and as I say silly, but the card chosen was number 48 - Dog card.. 

We laughed, how strange, how weird! Some would say just a coincidence.

Then I did shuffle, and cut, and top three cards for friend, first Card was 48 - Dog card! Now that was spooky.

Then for me, shuffle, cut, three cards.. guess you know where this is going.. 

My first Card was 48 - Dog card.

I did, after some chatting and weirdness over three times it was a first Card... I did a random shuffle and cut.. 48 - Dog card AGAIN!! 

Four times!!! Out of a full shuffled deck of cards! Now someone say it is just a coincidence! 

Had plenty of weird stuff, odd happenings, out of ordinary happenings in my life.. 

This goes up in the top ten now.. 

Watching a Netflix series, Manifest, it's good, this song just popped up.. So sharing.. 

Pearl Jam - Pendulum 

M.

So happy with the terrace furniture.. started the sofa on one day, took an hour to do the three seater and table, then next day even after work and late and hot.. I completed with the corner part and tacked sheets across the beams under the tin roof.. took an hour then I was sat down finishing the book.. noted below...

Not quite a Bedouin tent.. but looks nice and hopefully will keep it a little cooler than just the tin.. after removing the bamboo was like an oven underneath!

I have finished the book I was reading, was going to read and pass on, but it's a keeper of a book.

Anthony Doerr

All The Light We Cannot See

This book has so many parts that is just me, just my thoughts, even the 'starlight starbright first star I see tonight...' poem... 

In parts, too close to my life, too close to my past, it needs rereading, and soon, nothing about the title prepared me for the journey within its pages..

Another quote:

Beware regret 

Regret lives in the 'if only s ' and 'could have beens..'

From my terrace the other evening, beautiful.. Looked like more sand in the air.. but simply stunning..

M.

This was Saturday evening Algeciras .. After the longest week, and at my most exhausted.. finished myself off with a late night, amazing musicians.. 

Great tapas before concert.. wonderful evening..

Diago Amador, Pianist and Flamenco singer, born in Seville and José María Bandera, flamenco guitarist.. I have never seen a flamenco Pianist before, he hands flew across the keys like a guitarists over strings... Magical!

Today, regular day, long, but flew by.. and once home actually managed to relax .. after hosing down the terrace in preparation for a furniture build tomorrow.. 

At last, something good to sit on again on the terrace.. 

Very strange dream last night... Yeah yeah I know, mostly my dreams are strange, or nightmarish! 

As this only makes sense to someone who watched Grimm ..

I was sat with a friend in her home, it was semi dark.. inside and darkish out except for street lights.. 

Her home device piped up "wesen nearby"...!! Pronounced 'Vesen.'

And almost immediately someone passed by outside her window, on the ledge..

We were silent.. then 'he' passed back and then a third time.. then a thud on the roof above our heads.. only the thud woke me! And I waited now awake for something to walk down the stairs from the terrace and trigger my light! 

Of course it didn't!! But?!? Bloody hell!

Time to get my washing in now.. just been a small disturbance on the street, a few doors down, someone sounded like he was breaking in, but they just had a loud conversation and it seemed to settle the matter!! Nice eh!!

Little bit of excitement!

M.

Three days of work ✓ Five days to go, these are 08:45-18:15 days.. 

Not sure how I managed live-in care now, although of course I wasn't on my feet for 8.5 hours... Or with this kidney stone pain! That's the crux of it!

I couldn't do this permanently, that's for sure..

And that's it for today's writing so early, or I'll never send the bit of poem that's been sitting here in draft for a couple of days 

Just a bit of a random poem to close with, and only the last verse as it's the only verse I like!

Stopping by Woods on a snowy evening

by Robert Frost

The woods are lovely, dark and deep

But I have promises to keep,   

And miles to go before I sleep,   

And miles to go before I sleep.

M.

It was funny today at work, I sliced a thin layer of skin off my finger, so had to put on a small plaster and it was a very small plaster on my right index finger..  which became very prohibitive it was like it did not want to play with the other fingers on my hand, it felt shunned from the crowd, and refused to work as a team member anymore! I couldn't get money out of the till draw properly and carrying items proved ineffective! 

Plaster is now removed. And now, finger is acting like nothing happened at all...

Might be tricky to see what my mind sees here..  just down from centre almost.. 

Stairway.. To Heaven perhaps! Led Zeppelin 

M.

CT scan today! Woop woop! Had to drink this 1½ litres of Berium beforehand and then an intravenous injection during.. which had all sorts of weird effects on me!! 

It was down in Fuengirola in the area where the first appartment was I nearly bought, nearly twenty years ago(!), it's a nice little bario down there, a nice atmosphere.. I just really like it there.. 

Unfortunately the CD burner was working, but for me no! So it's going straight to doc and I can't examine it first! 

Sods law eh! 

Last night in a dream I was in deep water.. literally.. standing or maybe floating in deep water.. clear water.. and I didn't panic inwas Happy there.. enjoying the weirdness of it all.. Not at all worrying about no oxygen! 

Then I was out of the water standing near it.. and jumped back in, and again, enjoyed the strange feeling of being in the deep clear water.. 

Yes I've definitely looked up the meaning of that dream! As the obvious 'in too deep' was what came to mind...

But there were other things...

And TBH I was just happy in the dream.. in the water.. 

M.

So strange I half woke up and had an amazing thought, or idea? Something I thought quite world changing, if maybe only my own.. then fell back to sleep.. 

And now awake, again and it's gone.. like a whisper or snow flake.. Just plain gone.

I was only napping, siesta in this heat and not sleeping well.. 

I know I was awake when I had the most brilliant thought/idea.. and I half thought to wake up properly and write it down.. but still so tired I got comfy again and lost it.. the thought.. on a warm breeze.. 

It could have changed lives! 

Hey ho! Here's to my next world changing nap moment!

And today nine hours at work, no napping, no miraculous ideas! 

M.

In the doctors surgery this morning.. organising a CT Scan.. think this guy waited way too long!

Friday evening went to the feria is Marbella.. was way.. WAY!! Toooo busy, music entertainment food .. every few steps something different in all those categories! 

Way too much for me! 

But found a lovely restaurant and ate lamb chops, the best I may have eaten in Spain for many many years..they were fat and juicy.. big chips and fresh crisp veggies!

A restaurant called Medium Rare .. bloody wonderful!

The fires burning near Pujerra, Ronda direction.. could see the smoke for kilometres around, the water planes back and forth to the coast, and coming home to land back in Malaga later each evening..

And Plaza Alta near my house, the jacaranda trees shedding their purples blossoms.. 

Saturday went to Bar Los Tony's Chiringuito down at Elveria and followed up with drinks at Cabopino Port.. 

Sunday lunch in Malaga..

The hottest June since I have been here..

Twenty years this year..

How can that even be possible? 20 years? Viente años?

Twenty years ago I left Mercedes-Benz, twenty years ago I did a short stint for Subaru before leaving the UK.. 

Yes, we had three years in Wales during this time, but our home and hearts we left here..

I might mention this twenty years anniversary again of course, or I wouldn't be me!

M.

And remember, every forever is right now! This moment, and the next.. these are our forever moments mis amigos.. 

All we really ever have is now

 

Great day at work today, eight hours, legs and feet tingling from being on them for so long.. 

After dinner back out and at Puerta Banus..

At Dama de la Noche.. which sounds a bit bordello??? Lady of the night... 

The restaurante es Bellini .. like the cocktail..

Only my choice of cocktail is the mojito!

So good to be back to work, back where I was.. absolutely fantastic! 

M.

Update from yesterday... 

I have a job! Back in the store I was in before!

Now for change in positivity..

Now time to get my mindset back on track..

Now.. if I can just get it into my head I might be able to drag myself out of this quagmire of .. of whatever it is, wherever it is that my head is..

 M.