Song.. Part of me...

Just watching an old favorite of mine, Thelma and Louise! Hope I'm not repeating myself for the upteenth time..

Love all the songs from this movie, great soundtrack.. great driving music...

Ballard of Lucy Jordan.. at the age of 37... I was younger than that the first time I saw that movie, heard that song.. crazy! Now I'm more than twenty years past it!!

That was yesterday.
Now it's today, left the placement..

And today.. I feel sad through to my bones.
Four years ago I died.. yes, I think I did, or some part of me did.. I've been reading my blog from four years ago, I know I shouldn't, it's the first time.. I shouldn't have done it, read it from November.. from diagnosis..

Wasn't a good idea, but I felt sad, and sitting on the trains today; and seeing the cars in the dark early this morning.. lights blazing dark roads rain.. made me feel very lost, and so on the train to Bristol I read my words..

Now I'm sat on a bed in another hotel, about to travel home again, before travelling again..

Should be feeling something else.

Litteraly just spoken with number two son and his girl, saw them also sitting on a hotel bed, but in New York City...

That's where I want to be! Lol right now.. back there, scattering the rest of my mom and just being there..

I have written half a dozen lines here, none of which I can publish without giving myself up.

For all the words I write I wonder if I am saying nothing.

Hopefully tomorrow, I will have dug myself up and out of the dark place I am in today.

Sorry friends. Not sure why I am like this, now, still..

M