phew its so humid today already, only 830am, and its awful! my skin feels damp! luvverly eh! we had rain yesterday(??), quite a bit of it too! it was still hot, so when it stopped it was like walking through the jungle! this morning started out bright but the sky looks threatening now, dark grey and sooooo humid! when Pip and i were out earlier our walk down through the *dry* river bed, wasn't so dry, the journey down from the forest was wet enough with lots of tall grass and bamboo plants, but then the river bed grass seemed longer today or maybe just where it had been moved about by the rain, i don't know, but when we got back home Pip looked like she has been out in a rain storm! i was wet to the knees but she was wet to the tips of her ears, and as you know that way high!!!!

yesterday afternoon i saw a man on a terrace over the way open up his lap top and start talking... i had two thoughts...

pause... its pouring now, just got the clothes line in, have clothes to hang in a few minutes???

ok back to those two thoughts... man on terrace talking to his lap top! ah ha, i thought wifi! so we turned on ours and there was a signal, and we both seemed to be on line, but couldn't open up any pages, so not sure really! so many people use wifi without security, oh by the way didn't to be doing anything bad, just wanted to read my emails!! and do a little surfing as usual! if we knew the guys next door were online and wifi we would be giving them half costs to use it!

oh and by the way the second thought i had from above was that the man was just a crazy guy talking to himself!!!!

so its raining, looking like i wont be going on line today then amigos, i have a bad head ache again anyway, so probably not a good idea to drag myself up there, sit on a hard plastic chair for an hour or more then try to get back here!

on the other hand we now have no milk! mercadona is closer though so if it stops i could always try to get there for la leche!

now whats been occurring since Thursday? Friday i didn't go to far from home apart from the three walks with Pippa! Saturday Franco and i went up to the house, checked everything was ok there, humid in there too! and more jungle like than the week before! actually i don't thing it looked any worse, i just want to get in there and get it all cleaned up, road should be opening up soon, fingers crossed!??? we went from there to Ikea, had to get a few things for someone, so Franco thought as he knows how much i love the place we could go together on Saturday, and i do! so we did! we got there about 10am, and it was packed! the restaurant opens first about half hour before i think, and the store was filling up already! i had a piece of dime cake, you know like the dime chocolate? mmmmm nice with coffee, Franco had a toasty! then we travelled the upper part of the store, with all the rooms and furniture before going downstairs to where all the bits and bobs are! i could fill a truck with all those bits! but we just got what was on Francos list and then had to run the gaunlet of daudlers at the warehouse pick up points... so we did a run though there, we really did run! and straight to a check out, had to wait of course, there are always phone calls to make as bar codes don't work, weirdly Franco knew the price of the tea clothes the cashier didn't know, and that the price 1.99, was for 4 items! which the customer was pleased to know! then we were out of there... with a catalogue, which i have read a few times already, and if the rain keeps up i will read again today!

above, the merry go round on the Paseo Maritimo in Fuengirola, exactly same as the one in Milton Keynes at Christmas, there on the right, just about to go out of sight is the Cinderella carriage than is the same as the one Mom and i went on the Christmas before last.

from there we went dropped off the things, had coffee with friends and came home via a trip to Mercadona, we had a lunch of mussels, cooked in garlic, Italian white wine and a bit of parsley! and very nice it was too! just a shame we forget to get a stick of bread, never mind! at the check out they were just closing a couple of tills, well it was lunch time, who needs four tills open at that time of day!!!

really raining now, can you hear it! no guttering here, so its straight down, hope its not raining up in Alhaurín....

i wonder if my friend got home last week with these flight cancellations again? i haven't heard, remember i said the last time this volcano erupted it lasted for a year back in the early 1800's, they're saying it could last a year this time too now!

i keep forgetting i say one of my favorite birds the other week! it was in the garden of a house near the McDonald's just here the Hoopo bird! i used to see them when i was working on the golf courses down here... they are amazing, will search out a photo for you and put that up once i am on line... its may why is it raining, again.....?

wondering also who bought Moms table and painting, in the catalogue it said picture of a mother with her two children! it wasn't just a mother! it was Mary with baby Jesus and John the baptist as a child! it was painted in the early 1700's, 300 years old in the school of ---------, i hope who every bought them will love them and look after them well..... i wish i wasn't the type of person who got attached to *things*, its stupid really, they are just things after all, so far this year i haven't really lived with my things have i? first 2 and half months in England with only a case of my things, and now since were back home in Spain, we're staying at Maria's, and i only have a case of my things still dont i?

i was talking to a friend of mine the other, who also just lost her Mom, a couple of weeks before me in fact, and i said i feel like i have lost my anchor, my compass is just spinning with no north... she feels just the same, two lost little girls all over again....

raining so hard to tv is breaking up now....and its gone! hey ho!

i don't even have a book downloaded at the moment arh!!!!!

oh you wouldn't believe it... at home, a letter from Telefonica, a bill, and they are charging us 23€ for re connecting our phone, when it was there fault for not taking the money from the correct account, again! what incredible stupidity, i am going to get the local guy here from Telefonica to phone his office for me, he speaks about 8 languages, and i shall explain the whole idiotic story to him and get him to tell them that i want the 23€ paid back and if not we're cancelling Telefonica permanently! the whole thing, no phone nada! its just gone beyond a joke now, such incompetence for such a big company, we were laughing yesterday watching the Grandprix, Moviestar, telefonicas mobile network! rubbish, poor reception and expensive! great advert guys!!!!

ok i am going now, hang the washing out, in, and read my Ikea catalogue, again!

Tuesday now! it rained mostly on and off all day yesterday, and a huge percentage of the night!

while passing a rental car on the street yesterday i was thinking there is another con! well i don't know about other places, or even here i suppose how it really works but if you take out a car, its checked on hand over and any knocks and nics written down, so you take the car, you have a knock/accident whatever, you will lose your deposit, 200€ or more! but the next customer comes along, the damage is again noted on hand over... and here we go again! the rental cars in Spain are about the same as most of the cars here, obviously the newer the better, and i think most never get much past the two year mark before they are replaced, but is the work ever done? your deposit ever used actually for work done on the car? yes if its something like a mirror, or once in our case a door lock, the car was broken into within half hour of us collecting it! but we didn't lose all the money, the guy in Alhaurín told us how much the lock cost and labour costs and that's what we paid, but if your holidaying here...? i think if you lose your deposit you should be sent a copy of the bill for repairs, at least you would know your money has actually been used and not just taken!

this morning on the beach above...

there were tractors on the beach every time it stopped raining! i thought they must be doing more of a clean up job... but when we went out last evening to walk Pip we walked right up on the path and they are clearing, digging and removing all the tiling next door! the urbanisation next door that is... last few weeks they have been replacing the small little blue tiles in the big pool, which had been empty since we got here along with all the other pools next door, so now, they have fixed the pool... no water though, and now they are using big machinery to break up and remove all the tiles surrounding the pool?? er hello! vibration and all that? would like to take bets on how quickly the pool will start to crumble now! no common sense or planning? is it the same people who are doing the roads around Alhaurín? no just kidding i know its not!


anyway... i have gone off on a tangent as usual! so they are using the drive from here to get on the beach then 2 or 3 tractors up and down and down and back! making a huge pathway down onto the beach from where they're wall used to be! down onto the beach, so that was a slippy walk last night! no one can walk on the beach between here and Cabopino, or of course do any sun bathing from outside here! Franco has an idea that we will come back here later and find the whole complex gone! they did build twice the amount that was on the plans, are higher and nearer the beach than the law states, mind you looking at the state of them it looks like they will be falling down all by themselves!!!

above and below shows the damage or wear and tear from just over 5 years... above apartment is actually crumbling away!



Also, and to be quite honest have ruined Maria's view of Cabopino and the wonderful sun sets that come from that direction!

hope i can get up to the wifi bar today, going stir crazy when it rains, but if i can get up there and down load a book i will be fine! Franco isn't starting till noon so will get a lift down to El Zoco...

yeah! i am here, i am wifi, i am! now need to get the photos up loaded on here, must remember the bird too! The Hoopoe Bird!


TTFN
Marian

Tom Waits - Green Grass

Happy Birthday Barry! cant believe its my oldest babies 30th Birthday today! what?? i'm not old enough, he is definitely now older than i! Barry is the little honey on the right up there!

no breeze down here today, little bit misty is all... was better here yesterday than day before when my fingers had turned blue and took hours to regain feeling again! but yesterday i was only here briefly, only just made it here, then went home as quick as i could felt awful and a migraine came to visit, had some imigran thank goodness, took one, went to bed for about 3 hours and got up with no head ache! i wish they had invented these 30 years ago, i have lost so many days of my life! and now this has been the third migraine in a month...

Pippa and i had a change of view on our walk this morning, i think the beach is out of bounds now for us, from May to September no dogs, we don't actually go on the beach but on the path above, but its a close call if push comes to shove weather its really the beach or not, so we took a tour of a pine forest... normally a no go zone with the caterpillars but i am hoping they have gone by now, and Pip loved it, we then found a track, well i did, i had an idea it would meet up with one of rivers that comes down to the beach, someone at some time had walked down there and we pushed our way through and down a steep slope to come out between urbanisations and then it was only two minutes on the beach path and home!

wow, i am clever! been hearing just a line of a song in an ad on TV and its been bugging me no end, well i am having a bit of a music fest today with YouTube, at last remembering to bring my head set! and i found the music... its Green Grass by Tom Waits! i have 4 or 5 of his CD's, i didn't know the singer was him, but now i know it is, i know why i had to *track* it down! no pun intended! i think i have just published it straight to here, just found the bit of publishing from YouTube straight to Twitter, FB and Blogger!

Just remember the Auction is today for a couple of Moms things, two things that i dearly wanted to keep and couldn't, no where for them.... just checked out the catalogue, and feeling sad now for them going...

and now i think i will go...

TTFN
Marian

well firstly *Heroes*... last one of Chapter 5 last night, Chapter 6 *Brave new world* to come...but when??? this series started the first Saturday i had arrived here at the beginning of January, i was at Tony's, i did miss the second episode, i thought the repeat was on a Sunday the first showing being the Saturday before, so the second one i think it was, somehow i missed, and then the other week i didn't watch Sundays episode and went to watch it on Saturday... it wasn't on and so missed it, stupidly they showed that episode the week after!! but i didn't watch it! but i think 17 out of 19 wasn't bad...

do i go on about nothing sometimes... oh well!!


what do you think about the above photo? was looking down at it from the balcony yesterday, checked it out a few times, it was huge, it didn't move and other people seemed to look at it as they walked by... from the terrace it looked like a huge giant slug! i had to go down in the end to check it out! it was an avocado! so another U. F(fallen).O. identified!

zoomed in a bit for bigger pic, still looks like a slug eh!



above view normal.... this photo is of Africa, i am always amazed for some silly reason about Africa being so close, a whole fantastic country just over there... at it nearest only 7 miles from down near Cadiz... about 14 here i think, must check my figures first, when i get on line, and if i remember! its usually on cold crisp morning you can see best over the med to the Riff and Atlas mountains, but then you can see them in the middle of summer too sometimes... so you just can see them sometimes!


and here above zoomed in pic of Africa..;

did you see on the news yesterday evening the age for retirement in Greece was at 53yrs! its now shot up to 67yrs! no wonder their economy was so bad! 53!! i feel so sorry for all those people just getting to 53 thinking yeah!! then... no now its 67... booooooo!!

we did a fly by at our home yesterday, left Pippa home alone here... i ran in checked the mail box, put a few things in and took a couple of things out... i know once we're back in we can get the place cleaned up, but its so heart breaking seeing it like this, our neighbor said the little bit of road from the tobacconists is open Friday to Sunday for use, did she mean after work time on Friday? or are the road builders only working Monday to Thursdays now! with the bad weather that was here they should be working 24hr shift work to get this road done, its been a year already on the Alhaurín to Fuengirola road and its no where near being ready, maybe by the end of the year? and maybe not!

on our way home we popped into the Pick & Pay store, a supermarket, English by name English by nature, on the main drag down from Mijas pueblo to Fuengirola, i think where the old Iceland shop was (no relation to the Overseas store that goes by the same name).

its not too badly priced in there.. and we couldn't think of anything else that would be open, still holiday here, i think a few shops still closed today, so much goes on in May... and every Month!

helicopters been busy down here on the coast speed checking the vehicles along the N340... something else we're checking out is something in the papers here recently about the medical your supposed to have when your 45 here in Spain to prove to anyone who asks (traffic police), then your fit and able to drive, its only news to us foreigners here, of course, but they can apparently if you haven't got this medical on you, take your drivers licence, whichever country it originates from, no medical, no licence to drive here! and no licence, no insurance!!!!

i read though about people trying to get the medical and document from a doctor, but lots have been told you don't need it! but from January 1st 2009, you do!!!! well if your 45 and older that is!

Franco clocked the mileage on his way back with the car the other day from the garage, it was 3 miles!!! that's how far we walked to get into town on Wednesday! no wonder i was ready to drop by the time we got to the fish market where Franco made me walk around there before getting a coffee!!! 3 miles! and we stopped and looked around a couple of shops too...!

well its 9am now and i am off on the bus to Fuengirola to meet a friend later, i think on the 12:15 bus, i haven't seen here since i left here at the beginning of January, because she left here to move back to the UK when i was still in England! she has come back for a holiday, already! I'm not sure i could come back here if i left, it would break my heart, but there is a whole lot more to Spain, you could have a life time of holidays here and never stay at the same place twice! i know if we leave here we're going to visit Africa and Portugal first, i mean they're both so close and we have never been to either country! mind you i lived in England all that time and i have never been to Scotland or Ireland!


Tuesday now! how times fly from one paragraph to another... back in the UK today more of the volcanic ash coming their way, airports in Ireland and Scotland effected!

yesterday, as mentioned only a moment ago for you, i got the bus to Fuengirola! to say it was breezy at the bus stop would be the understatement of the year! i kept stepping back by the force of it! it was the same in town too! terrific gusts of wind and dust and dirt! i was just getting off the bus when i got to say she would be late, her friends didn't know the little bit of road between the tobacconist and BP garage was closed??? where have they been i would like to know! so i was thirsty and hungry by then and went down the paseo maritimo to have something at my friends bar there, there was no one at the bar at all! right opposite the beach, popular place, popular area, so quiet! i sat right at the front, drew a few people in after i sat down, had a coffee and tarta de manzana con helado! and very nice apple pie and ice cream it was too! got a text, mate here! and off i went to meet her! and back to Bar Luiz after we met up, why not! she was hungry and we would need to sit, so back to his place! and it was empty again? very very few tourists this week here, here at the apartments we think only 2 or 3 have people in, plus us and permanent neighbours next door! see what its like up at El Zoco shortly.

anyway, we had a good chat yesterday and caught up with so much... then she was being picked up at 4pm so back up to bus station and i walked her up to where she thought they would be meeting her and i got my ticket and onto the bus 5 minutes later. hope they found her.... was so good to see her after all this time, goodness knows though when we shall see each other again....

this morning walking back along the beach a wonderful view again of Africa, the Atlas mountains in particular and Gibraltor, but you cant see them from here now, now as in after they built next doors complex!

Brrrr bit nippy here in El Zoco today in the shade, breeze about and cant move into the sun or i wont be able to see the screen!

i was all calm and fine, went into bank... the cashier just carried on doing what he was doing, fiddling with stuff, counting money, writing notes... then oh shall i serve you! he had said hello when i walked up to counter... you'd be fired in England for ignoring customers!!!!

ok... emails to read, FB to check on while i am on line and can actually answer people! then back into the heat and the sunshine, and get my white fingers back to pink and not this shade of blue they are turning into!!!

TTFN
Marian

Dia del Trabajo

New restaurant opened here in El Zoco last night, and i took a photo this morning, that makes a change for me eh! its a Japanese restaurant i think, and i am not sure exactly the full name of it, only what we can all see from above photo! so pretty poor journalism from me, no brownie points today... but heck you got a picture right!

this morning pippa and i were out about 8am, and didn't get back till 9am! Franco in the apartment had even called me, although i don't take my phone with me now when i walk pip, i used to, but don't know..

i said i only did the usual run, which takes between 15 and 20 minutes, but we hadn't reached the end of the street when a woman came over with her dog and started chatting, heck she could talk! she is from Sweden, i remember when Mom Baz and i were at Nottingham bus station and met a Swedish lady there who also liked to talk! so our dogs sniffed each other and we talked, then parted, then down by the El Capricho we met again, another chat and on our ways...

today back in Alhaurín there will be lots of rocket fire and whistle blowing and much carrying on, here its a holiday, May 1st, Labour day, so just about everything will be shut... well except the bars, restaurants, bakers, tobacconists and here some gift shops!!

its very different here from inland, we had clothes drying on the balcon all day and still damp, lots of moisture from the sea... no one has let me know what that noise is yet??? out in the sea, the booming noise, oh and those awful little critters from last year are back at the house, did i say last week? there were only a few, but they came in their thousands last week for two weeks then were gone as fast as they came... never did find out what they were?

i have re downloaded a book i was reading, cant believe its taking me so long, but then i cant read it outside, the sun is too bright for the screen... i only have it for another 14 days so i must finish it! maybe tomorrow, franco will be going to our house on his own tomorrow we think, with the celebrations still going on it might be easier just to drive up, run in, check all round, empty mail box and drive off, and as he is visiting a mate to help with something up there and we will have pippa it will be easier if we stay here... we think! who knows till tomorrow eh!

just now when i was down loading the photo i noticed my little notebook here had jumped a whole day ahead of itself, to the 2nd May already! or is it Sunday and i have missed a day??

Mom used to have a recurring dream of a man whom she would meet outside of her window on the fire escape in New York City, she dreampt this dream all the years i can remember, said he grew old with her, and that she could never remember what they spoke of... i wonder if she has met up with him now.... dreams are weird, i am reading all these Fate magazines Maria has in her apartment and so many things ring true, after seeing this bird here who keeps on pooping at me... i am sure now its Mom!!!!

am i having de ja vu? or am i just repeating my self?

wish now actually i had arranged to meet up with that Swedish lady this morning for a coffee sometime, seems strange we met up twice for no reason, she is about 60 i guess..

OH HECK forgot to say most importantly car passed its IVA!!!! yeah... an absolute miracle, really.... how it passed is a mystery, Mom had that candle burning all day last year, so while i was at home yesterday so did i! Franco called and was talking about something or other then said the car had passed!! yeah! all those black plastic ties holding it together...

there were a few things the guy did, lights falling out, well that will be the alhaurín road at a guess! oil change and clean up where we have a leak... but was no more than about 150€, i had so many people praying and crossing things, i even had my eyes crossed at the end! >..<

Franco bought me home some jelly babies the other day, they weren't the real ones and are full of horrible things, i have been ok'ish, just a bit of a circle under my ear from my last dose of MSG, well these have set if off proper bad again, circles under both ears coming round my neck! perfect little bright red circles! that are itching like crazy! also the sweets made my teeth sore again, why do i eat things i know will make me bad? probably because i ran out of chocolate..

last night about 11pm no later 11:30, we just checked out the news before going to bed and it said a couple had been stabbed in St Albans, the man dead the woman critical! i went critical... Tony and Kate living in St Albans, and i know they are in town every friday for Nandos! i couldn't breath, felt ill, just went into melt down, i texted Tony immediately, like a fool, of course he didn't answer, i said to Franco i bet they're already asleep? and this morning Tony texted to say... they were asleep... and they were fine...

so i think i am done for now, get back ache too sitting here, the sit slopes away from the table a bit...

and so many distractions here, still no bird yet! or cigarette ash!

TTFN
Marian

ok Thursday today, not live, still at apartment, its just 9am, Franco had to get the bus to work this morning, we drove down to Fuengirola yesterday earlier than this, took the car to the garage, and are spending the next few days with crossed fingers and toes! awkward but we don't have Mom this year... last year i had to giggle, Mom lit a candle the day of our ITV (MOT), she kept it burning all day... and it worked, the car passed! miracle, and will be more so this year, not sure whats holding it together except the plastic ties!

the garage was a way from town, a long way, near but further than the new Aldi store, so a long walk back, we stopped for coffee in the garden centre Mom and i used to go into all the time..we had a coffee in there too... then kept to the shade despite lots of water on the road from some guys hosing it down! popped into a paint store to see what paint we are going to use at home to keep the mold out! we found some good stuff, so when we can, we will!

next junction was the N340 roundabout and down past Día etc, we did a left in the centre there after going into a chinese bazar, so much stuff! so cheap, you could go in there every week and spend hardly anything but change everything! you would have to do so every week because no doubt a week would be all it would last though! but bright and shiny things all round!

we came out onto the Av. De Mijas, the panederia Mom and i went in, also, all the time has changed again, it has a new open bit at the back which looks nice, like an indoor courtyard, and a brand new bar on the right, very nice...

from there we did a quick tour of the indoors, upstairs market, very famous and very popular, not very cheap though? at this point i was fit to drop, don't know how i made it that far, so we had a pit stop in the bar downstairs tea for me this time! it came in a pot of two cups, phew... at this point i realised all i was doing was remembering Mom there at every corner, i did before, but worse now, at least before i would tell Mom where and what etc...

so a bit more of a look round and off onto the bus, luckily this time it was at the stop and we got the tickets and boarded... off at Calahonda and on our way back we bumped into an old work mate of Francos so stopped off for a drink.. a mug of tea for me! you can imagine i was fit to burst, one coffee and three teas!!!!

i must say now before i forget, what is this noise down here? its like thunder under the sea, a booming noise.. yesterday it went on all afternoon and into the night, when you could also then feel the thundery noise through your feet too, and now this morning, its just started again... its definitely out to sea, sounds like thunder a long way away, but its not that! every 2 or 3 minutes sometimes....

i dont know if the Q10 is working yet on my blood pressure but it maybe on my teeth! the pain is almost gone! my gums have turned pink now instead of a vivid red! and they just look so much better! coincidence? could be, but i don't care, at last i can eat again, and sleep better, i have enough problems sleeping without the added pain of toothache, or gum ache! yesterday evening we even had steak and salad! not huge chunks but steak non the less! it was cheaper than the pork???

the ex furniture shop in El Zoco that unfortunately got burned down a couple of years ago is all set to reopen now, though not as a furniture shop, but as a bar, two storey, its glass on three sides so not sure how people will feel in there on a sunny day... well that's most days...

now i did do a video the other evening, but couldn't download it on here... so will try again when i am on line!

heck i hate downloading things on here, especially without confirmation that its ok to do so from higher up! couldn't do the video again it said to download something, so i downloaded Quicktime, but that wasn't enough it then said i needed to download a codec or something like that, so done it, fingers crossed you lot, remember i already have mine crossed for the cars ITV!

here goes nothing... and nothing it is, still says i need to download a codec!

something on tv this morning about stalking... i am being stalked by a bird! a little sparrow! when i was here on tuesday in the small and narrow gap between this and the edge of the table fell a bird dropping!that gap is small and just missed my hair! i looked up and there it was perched up on the tiles above my head and seemed to be cheekily looking down! today, i was sat here doing this and plop! i was only here five minutes and down came the poop! same place, same gap, then i just now looked over a sparrow flew over my head and landed on the chair to my right, looked at me and pooped!!!!



Omnia mutantur, nos et mutamur in illis.
All things change, and we change with them.
Roman proverb

TTFN
Marian

some random photos today... above the Paris Opera house...

Notre Dame...

and a snail! well its strange, that long shell!

its a wonder we don't have snails in the house isn't it? i was thinking, as usual! its a little like flood damage our house, i know thank God it didn't actually get flooded like some people i know, but if its wood or leather its green and mouldy, and the walls too!

you know, i do know how fed up you must all be with my moaning about almost everything at the moment, i am sorry every blog so depressing, if it means anything to you i do feel better talking about everything knowing i have a listening ear... see how i have gone from plural to singular... is there anyone out there...? what was it Jodie Foster said in the Movie Contact? CQ CQ? ok had a look on the web! she said "CQ, this is W9GFO. CQ, this is W9GFO here. Come back? "

did anyone see that poor woman on the tv the other day who had had a bad migraine, it caused a slight stroke only effecting her speech and some memory, now she speaks English with a Chinese accent! the doc said its quite rare, but on the news there had been 3 or 4 people all quite recently!

i forget to say yesterday, i think i forgot? there was a little green haired troll doll stuck in the fence on the way to the beach yesterday, still there maybe forgot to look this morning, it was like something voodoo! just hanging there, maybe the cats had put it there to stop Pippa wanting to get past it??

was a beautiful evening last evening... we went out just as the sun had set, the sky was still a little light and the moon was nearly full... looks like tomorrow the 28th is the full moon, this is where i have always got my inside information from anyway!

so... the moon was bright, the sea quiet, at last! but small little waves coming in... we walked along the beach with Pip... and she was crazy! like a thing possessed! rushing about, on the lead, pulling tugging straining to get.... somewhere!

will take my camera down this evening if i remember and do a little video, no promises though...

ok amigos... i have done my time, oh no i nearly forgot something else, was reading yesterday out on the balcon under a parasol, some of Marias old magazines, not read before, and in one from over 6 months ago two things... just meant for me read right now! how strange is that! one about teeth grinding and it listed all the problems i am having with my teeth now, so maybe its not even my FM it could just be because i am grinding my teeth so much now, and Franco had a thing we thought was a boil but it sounds like something else going by the article we read! so thanks very much, whatever magazine it was! much appreciated!

TTFN
Marian... CQ CQ CQ.....?

ok, confusing here but its actually Monday morning now, and what follows i wrote over the last few days, trying to up load a photo... but google on the go slow, for me today anyway, which is also how i feel...

the strange photo, if it ever gets on here is of a mat i made last week, i bought a flat sheet from a thrift shop for a euro and knitted it into a rug! or maybe a *?* would be better, anyway kept me busy for a couple of days earlier on last week.... arh, there it is, its a lot smaller than you would think of a double sheet! and real heavy?

anyway more importantly HUGE congrats to Kate who completed the London Marathon yesterday! well done girl!

so beneath to whats past.....

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was thinking this morning, when i awoke from a weird dream how Mom used to always ask what her dreams had meant, or she would phone at any time, to get an answer to a crossword question she couldn't get, and how over the last, well i would say few years, but i think it was a good ten or even fifteen years how we had swapped roles in some ways, a role reversal that always happens, things Mom was wary of doing herself i would phone for her, or write, contact in some way or other. or if i couldn't do it, i would have to nag her for ages to get her to do whatever it was she was worried about doing and i, from here in spain, could not!

the last time Mom flew back to england from spain she didn't want to fly on her own and i flew back with her, then got the next flight home the following morning! we joked that one day i wouldn't want to fly on my own either then, one of the boys would have to be flying back with me after flying back with her!...

... so i am writing from the apartment, don't think i will be making it to el zoco today, was in bad pain yesterday evening, not sure if its tooth ache or jaw ache, as i have the most awful earache too, i think its the latter. thing is i have been to the dentist before when i have had a flare up and then not having had treatment yet, a week later, and all the pain is gone... but then that was when i had been at least seeing a dentist every six months!

i got home just in time yesterday, a drop of rain, and later thunder lightening and more rain, just now the sky is getting black... so more rain????

Pippa and i met the boxer dog again today, third time, and now pip just barks as soon as she sees it! so embarrassing!

cant remember when i last blogged... not on line will check when i am, i guess...

today is saturday, been having the worst toothache, and wednesday night took two strong tablets, for toothache, so strong i woke up with a bad headache, had my breakfast and went back to bed, headache had turned into a migraine... was so bad, like the old ones, sick and everything, only with my heart beating too fast the whole time too, i knew Pip hadn't been out, obviously without me! so at 5:30pm i got up, dressed, and took her out, i don't know how i made the short trip round the block, she made use of the run though, poor little mite, hadn't been to the loo since about 10pm the night before! i felt so much worse when i got back i did my BP which didn't make me feel any better at 157/119! it was in the red, and so was i! and back to bed again, where i stayed till i got up this morning, Franco did take Pippa out again last night, and this morning i took her out, felt my usual day-after-migraine self, which is slightly weird and wobbly and somewhere else! felt pretty awful when i got back and took BP again (heck had to retype that 3 times, and then retype retypre 3 more times)!!! anyway this morning it was 161/103, not in the red, just the orange, which is just as bad...

toothache? yes still there of course, till its fixed, sometime no time soon! that's of course if i can work out if its my FM or my teeth, i know they need a filling or two, so either way they need fixing... and if remember a quote for a dentists here was over 1,500€ then a week later the pain had gone, my FM afterall....

this morning we left Pippa home alone and went into Fuengirola, for the Q10 for me to start trying, bit more expensive than Britain, i think it was under a tenner for 30mgs, this was 25€ (how come i haven't noticed the *€* here before?) strange day... anyway this bottle will last for 5 months! and we got some B vitamins to start taking too, from a regular chemist, cheaper than elsewhere at about 11€ for a months worth!

we also needed a new mirror for the car, it got *taken* from out car while i was away, just the mirror prised out i guess, no glass anywhere... we had to buy a new one with our ITV (MOT) this coming week, like that will get it through! the mirror was 11€, he didn't have one! but the complete door mirror housing with mirror was only another 50cents anyway!!!! so with IVA (VAT) only 13€!

i also popped into a card shop to buy Franco's anniversary card, for tomorrow, wouldn't have left it so late if i had been well, so come out of shop... and no Franco! waited there for a while, went past shop and called into the man who had served me and said "i might be bringing this card back in a minute, my husbands gone missing!!" but then i saw him! standing by the car! when i said see you by the card shop, he thought i said by the car park!

sunday now, still trying to type without typos! today no anniversary card from Mom, of course... this is the first one of all the others i shall miss from her now...my birthday will be the hardest, as was Mothers Day for me, its Mothers Day here is Spain next sunday! cant win!

yesterday i was walking Pippa along by the side of El Capricho bar, down here on the beach, a man with two boys on the pathway they were talking to a man sat at a table, who said move out of the way to them, that dog will bite!!!!! oh things i wanted to say, luckily i did the biting, of my tongue what an ignorant man, my first thoughts of a come back to him were all the wrong ones i know, but i thought later i should have said "if she senses how afraid of her you are, she might get nervous and be more likely to bite you! but i more likely to bite!!" my little Pippa, knee high for goodness sake! how much of a coward was this man? and spreading the fear onto the two boys, i was so angry... and they are raising the fine now to 500€ for having dog of over 20kilos outside without a muzzle on, or if its of a dangerous bread.

anyway... this morning we went up to our house, green green green! that's the color of everything in it, the black sofa was all green! we dusted down the wooden surfaces again, as last weekend, emptied the mail box, for a change a bill in the box was for the old number 23! you would think they know, it was from the council who were the ones to change our house numbers last year!

we were out just after 8am, wanted to get back for the London Marathon, never watched it on tv before, but Tonys girlfriend Kate was, is, running in it, watched from start to finish on tv, then when the broadcast finished we switched to the extras bit on the same channel and picked the option for viewing the people coming through at the finish, there were four screens, three gates, so that was fun, and i stood in front of the tv for nearly an hour... till i couldn't stand anymore, and Francos football came on! i was tired out just watching, and that was before my standing stint! so now have to wait to hear from Tony how Kate has done, and her time...

i took Pip for a quick walk out earlier, a girl, well woman, was mixing sun bathing with fishing! she had three rods buried in the sand, a parasol for her two little'uns, and she was, well *out* in the sun shall we say!


****************************************************************

ok caught up now, still feeling bad, and forgot to fuel up little this baby so am running out of time too... Tonys not at work, so cant catch up with him, Barry at work, but can't speak to him....

sorry if all of above sounds weird....

adio amigos...

TTFN
Marian

looks like rain again today... forecast for rain yesterday didn't happen and was a wonderful hot day, Pippa reclining outside in sun... on the way here a few spits and spots, also on the way here stopped in a shop to buy Barrys birthday card, didn't know weather to buy him a Son card or a 30th Birthday card! the first is the usual one i would do, but being 30! is a BIG one! i cannot believe he is going to be 30! its impossible that little blond smiley baby boy... heck is all i can think! where have all those years gone? although i do wish i could post myself off in the envelope to be with him on May 6th...

with the forecast i put off going to fuengirola to meet up with mate, but looks like its going to rain all week, maybe, and seeing her friday... when no doubt it will pour forsure!

you know i can now use these reading glasses to see things written over there on the bar door! about 12 feet away! i have to lift them slightly to use the reading part, but i can do it!

Tonys girlfriend Kate is running in London Marathon on Sunday... so i will be glued to tv to search for her out of over 36 thousand other people! what chance?

i am struggling today, i have a blank mind, or rather too much going on in my mind and dont even know where to start with it, so maybe i better just clear off...

maybe a little quote for Kate today...

is not about how fast you run or even with with what degree of grace.
its, about perseverance, about staying on your feet and slogging forward no matter what


TTFN
Marian

I have to pass this on... its unbelievable, i am quoting from Euro Weekly this weeks, well lasts by the time you read this i expect, the Head line Hens used as footballs Seven people have been arrested in Pedrajas de San Estaban in Valladolid.. the owner of the hens, reported this, although it said 7 people later on in the article is says two of the detainees are aged 27 and 18, the other four are 17, so the other?? anyway not important i guess... they broke into the farm, damaged the pens and feeding system and used the hens as if they were balls, killing 100 of them. they have been charged with criminal damage and animal abuse. damage estimated at more than 2,000 euros, although the farmer fears greater losses due to the stress that the remaining birds have endured! No kidding.... i would say i dont believe it, but i do...

saturday - went to the house today, still bad, no better at all, but then its been raining again, all last night it poured down, thunder and lightening.. sea roaring... no sleep... and until about... 2pm maybe the morning was just the same! lots of low cloud cover going up past Mijas pueblo, picked up post, letter from Telefonica advising us of the refund!!! but no letter asking for the money that they haven't been able to take out of the old bank account yet! next thing will be cut off again, but cant pay the bill till we have it!!! on the plus side our electric bill for the month was just over 6euros!?! so goodness knows what it will be next month...

Dr Who, next doctor is ok, cant seem to get into it yet, he's just not Danvid Tennant, although its not just, it doesn't seem to have the *umph* that the last couple of series has....

found an article about something called Q10 Bio-Quinone, going to check it out when i get on line, it says it helps with high blood pressure, energy levels, a healthy heart, my BP is still high, seems eating a banana or two a days isn't helping me much!

ok, 9pm the sky a nice powder blue and the new series of Britain's got talent due to start shortly so i'm off!

monday now, sports bar again... what a lush... usually make one coffee last a couple of hours though, he isn't getting rich on me, but at least it looks like someone is using his bar!

checked out the above item, the bio-quinone that Dr Chris suggests, will read it in full when i get home, but looks interesting....

Franco called too, about something he had heard on the radio this morning, a well woman check place, i really should do it, considering the amount of time since my last check, and my previous history, and of course, more importantly my Mom...

... my dreams are continually going through *stuff* sorting and clearing, what am i supposed to be sorting and clearing for goodness sake?

rained on and off again all day yesterday, but today, at the moment the sky is china blue, the sun is warm and hopefully the millions of snails that have been out and about the last week are hiding away under a cool rock now, so many you couldn't walk... well you could but... ugh!!!

and Pippa always want to eat them, which isn't ok, even when us humans eat them we have to wait a few days to allow the poisons out before we do so! and dogs can get lung worm from them! would we do you think? is it the same poison i wonder....

ah... thats nice english, couple just passed me by and said *hola* to me... a er *local* woman earlier glared at me!

be right back....just wanted to check the weather says rain for tomorrow and wednesday... i bet the poor tourists stranded here are fed up... don't come in April... its the rainy month! just because its rained since december doesnt mean mother nature will give us a break now!!!

i am so glad i don't have to be somewhere with this embargo going on, the poor people who have family they need to see, for bad health reasons, or worse.... or like a guy we spoke to the other day, his daughter is abroad, further afield and he needed to get to England, then on to somewhere else... i wonder if she got married without her Dad there....

also have an interesting email from FedEx, it says * This message is from FedEx Customers Online Alert Team Management .You are to Contact: Mr Charles Bankole ( Senior Clearance Officer )for your Package delivery*

i bet money would be needed to collect said package, another rip off scam.... well i reported it as scam... or is it real??? arh... doubt it eh! not with a name like that Bankole!! really!!

ok, i think for now thats it, always think of more to say when i get back home, have even gone to go on line when i am there, especially if i am playing solitaire or writing my Blog before hand... but then mind still weird.. or weirder? if this even is my mind, i think i have lost mine...
erm ok yes definitely time to go before someone sends out those guys in the white coats...

TTFN amigos...
Marian
erm hang on want a photo.... ah ha... and now i have added photo from the interior of the Paris Opera house, i remember wanted to say i watched the Phantom of the Opera by Joel Schumacher... was lovely... Franco didn't think much of it... so played his game for a while then listened to music, then had a nap!

but i loved it, remembering every moment of when Mom and i saw it at Her Majesties theatre up in London a year ago....

even in my sleep... i dreampt i was at Tony and Kates, almost their house, and Bonny was there too! Kates Mom's dog! and they were telling me what food and movies i could have Saturday evening, and i thought oh they must be out, i'll go to Mom's for the night, take the air bed the pillow... then i remembered.... in my dream... and i broke all over again...

it rained last evening again, lots of it, and lots of bits of dirt came down off the roof onto a towel out on the terrace *drying* in the loosed sense of the word it seems now! i sillyly thought maybe the black bits were volcanic fallout! until they showed on the telly the grey dust that it actually looked like! as if it could get all the way down here????

i meant to tell we had an earthquake down here sunday evening... a Twitter friend posted it on monday... the guys in the states registered it as a 6.4, but here is spain they said it was only 4. something... anyway have linked to it and i havent actually read it yet! sorry, word of mouth from Franco on the newspaper headline yesterday... will read it later off line..l.

so the rain... rained again this morning, cats and dogs!!! i think also it rained while i was in here yesterday on here, going by the puddles and wet people everywhere, so i got back quick when i left here!

a couple came in here about half hour ago, they are on the public internet machine in the corner and *he* is reading out something for his mrs to type, of course i dont know who its for but its very condescending, i shouldn't be listening i know... but ;-) they are closing now, we look forward to hearing from you soon, love bla bla bla, although the get out of our house, get a job, go back to uni, go to another country, an eu country where you can work, and learn another language, get a job, use your savings, use your grades, then you can come back.... oh and your a lovely person.... i'm not sure if the person will respond or not!!

ok yes enough to worry about than there problems i hear.... i hear!!!

when we went out last evening i showed Franco the pipework now exposed on the beach, the local sewage system i guess, just hope no young, or old thugs take to it with a rock or something, hope its stronger than it looks!

the coastline here has completely changed over the last five years, they no longer pile sand onto the beaches, no money for that, so its eroding badly, the path from Bar Capricho is only just holding up, i dont think it will take another winter, it will be use the beach or nada! so the nearby fences from the urbanisations there will be the next to fall...

by the apartment here, there is a huge dip where you have to run back up the other side, and the walk is narrower than last year, by half at least! where once was sand is now only rocks that lay undiscovered before, now laid bare... maybe some photos no! will try to do some over next few days....

ok... amigos, weekend now, well nearly...

TTFN
Marian

http://www.justgiving.com/kategreene

I tried to link this on my site but cant seem to do it....

ok... thursday already eh! just went to pay the telephone bill, you know the one that telefonica didn't take the money from the correct account from... well couldn't pay it... i need to take in the bill they will send when they find they couldn't get the money from a bank account....

also today i am writing *live* yea eh! in side the sports bar, well the other side from the machines, its like the bar from Friends in here, lots of sofas, music, tvs on the walls, Gunta at the bar and Phoebe playing her guitar... erm ok... maybe not the last couple of things eh! although the other two people in here on their lap tops are smoking like chimneys!!

in side por que the weather is not great, we have had a few spits and spots the last few days and last night it was BIG rain, and lots of it, down here at the coast anyway, so i dont know about in land.. its been humid all week, tuesday i got the bus down to Fuengirola and had coffee with a friend, was freezing... i first couldn't get out of the urbanisation we had a power cut and forgot the gates wouldn't work without it! doh! tried other gate as the gardener seems to hang about up there more...nope! then to the garden gate and someone else was coming out, he locked it after us and i hoped the electric would be back on when i got home!

... getting back ache writing here, sofa higher than table, cant put it on my lap though as sofa so deep and back so low... heck! must be quick...

anyway, in town, was cold, had to run something to lawyers first, that warmed me up, and then friend gave me denim jacket to wear, and to keep! that was nice... we had a couple of coffees at Luiz bar on the paseo, we must have been a strange couple... well not strange... unusual to others... me dark haired and speaking a mix of ... well spanglish.... and her, hair long and plaited blonde as blonde speaking english with an Hungarian accent and spanish, i guess the same! we had a great morning, good to be out and about and talking, yes me talking? i know how strange...

then yesterday the same! different friend and no bus ride though, friend who used to live in Alhaurin and moved down to the coast a couple of years ago now... we met up in Los Olivos cafe, i was looking over at Gran Calahonda Crissie... thinking of you....

had a couple of hours in there with her and her little'un Charlie, i will always remember the exact time i knew he was born... Mom and i were in Woburn Abbey, two years ago May, and i got the text through, not immediately of course! but quite soon after he was born! so another good chat! we walked back together till my bridge!

i was exhausted after tuesday trip though, missed my bus there because of being kept prisoner! and just missed the bus back and had to wait an hour for the one back to Calahonda... and coming back i was second at the stop in town, you buy the ticket then wait for bus, by the time the bus came it was a full load, standing up for the last of the boarders, same on the way there actually, when the doors opened i just joined the line from where i was, i was waiting for someone to say something to me... in fact i was hoping someone would... yes i was in a mood by then!

got home and just fell in a heap on the sofa, then took Pip out and fell in a heap again after that, and just stayed like it for next few hours... this morning i had trouble getting up, could have just stayed there forever, not necessarily asleep just couldn't move! made myself get up Franco went off, i had to drag myself to get breakfast, and the same to take Pip out again so i could come up here without her... so humid hurts to walk or move or sit or anything, at least the pain in my jaws seems to be a bit better now, specially after all the talking this week, thank goodness for medicine! i seem to be grinding my teeth all the time, the sound wakes me up, if i have got to sleep! and during the day i am doing it too, not sure if i did it before but i am clenching my teeth together and it hurts and i cant stop... and now, just now, i have hiccups! g r e a t!

news this morning about the volcano in Iceland and the closed airports in the UK, makes me think of the snow and the problem i had in coming back to the UK in early January... nightmare...

met up with a boxer dog, and his owner on the beach path other afternoon, the man said, as i was holding Pippa back, was she ok, i said yes, just nervous, then she proceeded to go for his dog! oh Pippa.... and the stuff she tries to eat on the beach, dead fish, and flotsam and jetsam, disgusting animal!

worrying too about the house, more rain, more damp.... ok, better get cracking now, don't have the luxury of being able to take my time, and having trouble remembering things i wanted to tell you...

...oh one thing, Mom said i had to find my relatives in Brazil... how shall i do this! tried the internet and looked for sites for people who emigrated there back in the early 1900's... maybe if i just say Brazil in bold a few times more, or Philip Nelson born in Liverpool, moved as a baby to Crouch End, London... emigrated with his brother Charles Nelson his descendants might, one day come across this and answer me! they moved to Santos, Sao Paulo....

Mom made me promise to find him, or his family at least, but i wonder if they even stayed in Brazil or if they moved on, to the states, where my grandparents had gone already... oh and the name Nelson in Brazil is a first name also, and there are many, shall we say! Also why the beautiful photo of Rio de Janeiro, I think that means river of January doesn't it...

ok amigos... time to fly.... have a bit of a surf... on here folks, steady now, that's as near as i get to surfing...

TTFN
Marian

i am reading the second book in the series Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz, just downloaded it this morning and started reading it a few minutes ago... read the first book like this while sitting with Mom, in her last week, now picking up the story in this the second part and a paragraph read *until they move on from this world, even the dead can know fear. you would think they have nothing to lose, but sometimes they are wretched with anxiety, not about what might lie Beyond, but about those whom they have left behind*...

i know i can hear you all screaming at me to stop this, this finding things to hurt myself with, words signs any and everything, self harming of the heart and mind... but just now i will go on with this i cant stop it.

i know my Mom was hanging on, went beyond the time several doctors said she would, and in her last half hour it was like tears coming from her eyes, even just after she passed over, tears i wiped from her eyes... i had tried to tell myself these were not tears, but just the body doing things bodies do, then i read this, i know just a book, just a story book... but enough to upset me eh...probably made worse by the fact that i had just said to Mom, out loud you know, come on Mom where are all the signs you promised me you would show me... now you understand my mind, well maybe not!...

was good to see Fuengirola the other day, i think i will be getting the bus in again next week, just to have a wander about town, i did visit bar Luiz on Tuesday, and told him about Mom, he knew her...

Pippa was a hero yesterday, she started barking on the terrace, a warning bark, i went outside and looked about, just expecting to see people walking by in the garden, although she isn't barking at passers-by much now which is great! but over in the urbanisation next door obscured by some trees i could see some legs in the air!!! someone being held up by someone else and trying to get in an open window, so bit more barking from pip and the two gipsy stopped their breaking and entering and walked off looking at us with not so nice looks! when the men who are staying there got back later i went over and had a word with them to warn them not to leave windows open, took a while to get their attention, the sea is noisy at the moment and i was shouting for ages... feeling like a right twit! then they came out to see what all the fuss was about! cant believe people leave windows open here, especially on the coast, no rejas, persianas (blinds) up, just an open invitation to *come on in, take what you like*, and as the patio doors can be opened easy and no rejas there either, the whole apartment could have been cleared out if we hadn't been there!

then fast asleep, in my dream this awful noise... woke up, woke up Franco... it was a helicopter up over head, only not so high up, sounded horrendous! they were hovering over the sea with their two beams of light going from side to side... i had opened the doors and gone out onto the terrace, followed by Franco and pippa! me in my purple pj's! nice! and as we looked around so many people out to see what was going on! i could just imagine the police in the copter seeing all the little faces staring upwards eyes open wide, mouths agog! looking like a bunch of woken up meerkats!!! what was happening? where was it happening, i then worried some maniac would be jumping up in front of me trying to find a hidey hole! what had they done!!!??? anyway after ten fifteen minutes it moved away, a bit, so gates closed and locked! pulled down the persiana again, windows closed, back to bed, and for the next two hours it continued to hover, right back where it had been earlier, i kept drifting in and out of sleep, weird dreams where light was streaming in through the bedroom blind, normal slightly open blinds, leaving stripes on the opposite walls, police with guns and hoods on! and continually the whirrrring noise up over head...

so what was it? i don't know.... and now on monday morning still don't know by the way!

felt bit better this morning, back on anti inflamitories, luckily the farmacia here didn't ask for a prescription, and even asked how many boxes i wanted? er one please... well for now! but after such a disrupted sleep head ache again this morning, took pip for a long walk just now, to wear her out and to walk out my head ache... both seem to working now back at apartment!

just wish i had wifi!!! always so much i want to do on here... or even phone people, cant phone Mom i know, but cant phone anyone easily, using phone card on mobile, but costs 68cents initially, so use the old ## thing for follow on calls, hope that's how i am supposed to do, called six people last week, two out, onto next, and so far this week another 6, four left messages on answer phones... wish the phone box was back at the top of the street....

well no point rambling on here...
save and close....

saturday now.... no wifi yet, sorry folks, what am i on about? when you read this i will have so am now talking nonsense..(ok ok!)

i have just copied out a poem, i am not sure if i have already posted it, it was written by i don't know who... not my Mom, and now too late to ask, will have to find letters from my Gran and see if it was her, was going through Moms *misc* envelope again, you know the one with all the most important bits of family history in that wasn't in the now famous black box where it should have been! MOM!!!! the poem anyway, is beautiful, weather i have already written it on here before or not, and appropriate... although the same hand has written on the blank side in pencil the solitary word Rhubarb.... i ask you rhubarb!was it a wanted item...? a comment on the poem! surely not!


Poem by Anon for now...


The lips of those whom the earth covers are sealed with the smile of wisdom. They know, but they do not impart their knowledge. But every day the dawn springs afresh, with each season the lambs bleat in the fields, the flowers rise again, the birds awake to their singing, and by every green grave there surges anew in the heart of the bereaved an insistent hope, which speaks not of death, but of life, even length of days for ever and ever.

*******************************
then some strange things like the year my Gran was born, thought it was 1888, always did, from an old needle point she did at school and something else, but on her passport says quite clearly 1889! and someone else in the family, passport, wedding cert, death cert spelt one way, but birth cert and christening... differently! does that mean all the others were never legal! oh heck!

checked at home this morning, this was Saturday also, nightmare! damp has spread, i suppose because its still all closed up, i cleared up the terrace, collected all the dead plants and swept up the steps and roof, looks better now! Franco did some cleaning downstairs, and we aired the house for a while... and... i phoned telefonica, again, and again had to tell them the bill that has come, that they would be expecting payment from was using the wrong account, again, so every other months so far this year, he said it would never happen again, yes well and we have won the euromillions too! i cant believe it, no repayment of internet fees was being done like i asked over two weeks ago, so he said he would implement it and to phone back in ten days and quote the reference number given, i said it was the fourth or fifth reference number and would it make any difference??? we had the normal water bill and some information from the crematorium where Mom's service was...

one of my Mom's aunts died on the same date, strange isn't it, March 4th, aged 82 same again, and then her sister who had shared the same home all their lives together died two months later... i suppose all those years together...

popped into Mijas pueblo to visit the Santuario de la Virgen de la Pena Mom loved so much, and always asked me to visit on her behalf when she was not good, last time was just before i went over to England, i knew how bad she was and i prayed for her, prayed for her not to be kept in pain... prayed for people passed to come to help... and today i thanked her, the tiny saint....

lots of touristas about which was good to see, but the high price of the car park meant we went home for coffee! 1euro for about 15 minutes then its up up up!

some of Mom's baby hair in an envelope too... ok definitely time to go, going into sad place...

ok adio for ahora... well i am in el zoco just now of course to copy and paste this little nugget of a blog today...

and to add a couple of things, Franco and i went into Fuengirola again yesterday late afternoon, went to friends place for a coffee and tapas! it rained while we were there only a drop though, hardly noticeable and didn't leave the ground wet... we had taken pippa out for a walk earlier, we drove up to the now top of Calahonda, is it still called Sitio de Calahonda? must look on my way out today... anyway, takes a while to drive up to the little chapel at the top, would probably take about an hour and half to walk up there... we parked and walked pippa to the top, i forgot my camera! shock horror! took couple of pics with my phone but couldn't work out how to send them wifi to this, so deleted them, will be going again with pip i am sure....

and to now... brought some of Moms baby hair with me and its spread her too now... before i go, i had a dream... yeah yeah... back last year i had a series of strange encounters with my Dad, 3, never dreamt of him before i the whole of my life, but three in a row, the last being with us meeting in a room and hugging, and me knowing he wanted to tell me he was looking out for Mom... he was there for us, both... i had to wait 40 years to dream of him... Friday night i had a similar dream with Mom, i was in a room looking through things, going through bits and pieces that were Moms, some were others were not, but i went through a door and there was my Mom and she opened her arms to me, and we hugged... she didn't speak, like my Dad but i knew she was ok... i am glad she didn't make me wait 40 years, there would have been stern words if she had!!!

ok... i better go now, i feel i am only here with you for moments, i would rather write it *live* so to speak, feel like i am with you then, but never mind... i was here....

TTFN
Marain

oh boy what a week... monday went out with friends for lunch, only a tapa for me, didnt feel too well, headache brewing.. went to bed late afternoon, cant remember if i got up later in the evening, i may have done but no more food, just in case... tuesday bus down to fuengirola and lawyers office, ten day wait while they check madrid too see how many spanish wills mom made...

wednesday woke up with migraine, so didnt get up, until this morning... lots of contributing factors, thought there weren't any, but apart from stress, not on any inflammatories at the moment, silly girl that i am. changed some other meds, which be effecting hormones! then theres the ear ache i still have and pain in my jaws... i know i know... too much talking... hey steady there though, only will pippa all day, and not much of a conversationalist!

again here at the wifi i have left here at home... she hates it here, hates being left at home too, but this is the lesser i think, even if she doesn't realise it!

cant remember anything these days, even where i have put my mind, maybe that would be a help to start with? i have at last called some family and friends! i bought the phone card to use at the local phone box, just at the top of the road where we are staying, then last tuesday they took it away... another link to my mom gone, i always called her from there when we stay down here... now there is just a clean piece of pavement there... to remind me every day... why did it get taken down now? why not 3 or 4 months ago, or in six months time... all these weird things.. well weird for me that is i suppose...

ok better go now because i can think about is mom...

TTFN
Marian

Pippa and i did go with the hope of the internet this morning, but, as i approached the bar is was going to use i found it shut! well it is holidays here after all i suppose eh! my plan had been as pippa is so scared at the sports bar to use the one beneath and hope to catch the signal from there, although i had also misjudged its whereabouts from below, so too had Franco, we both felt it to be in the same wrong place! so i did go to sit at the little bar near super sol, had just sat down when some friends came along, and joined us for coffee, i didn't try to internet so still dont know if it will work from there, will try again tomorrow... or try leaving pippa for longer tomorrow and just go on my own to the regular bar, although the lure of the euro coffee will be strong...

had a bad day yesterday, all i wanted to do was cry... i suppose this is normal? who knows... cant believe Mom passed away four weeks ago today, and that its April now already... a good friend of mine died March 31st 1995, where did those 15 years go? 'they' say time heals all things? time changes things i guess, but i cant see how this pain of loosing my Mom will ever heal...

ok... lets have a moan shall i! and as usual here in Spain so much to moan about!!! last week Franco and i went to pay a bill for a friend, we were told the bill was too late to be paid! and we had to get a replacement bill, which of course, you can only get from the office in the town that the bill payer resides, well the house anyway! so off we went with vague ideas of where to go to get this replacement bill, vague because the people in the office in Alhaurin didn't know where to pay it in a neighbouring town, so we went to the main town hall, which isn't where you would pay this bill in Alhaurin by the way, but we went anyway, joined a queue of people waiting... as you do... there were two doors and three women serving at regular desks, sometimes people would come from behind, and just walk in and get served??? so our turn, and she printed off a replacement bill and said there was another needing paying, for may! cant be bad, paying ahead of what you will use??? and of course you cannot pay a bill in there, silly, so we went to the BBVA bank next door, queued up to use the machine by the doorn, the handy bar code reader machine, and after 20 minutes tried the first bill, put in the 50Euro note, and it said NO, cant take 50's! so joined the line for the cashier, i was a little concerned as i reached the counter by the many signs saying use the machine for bills... luckily a couple in front wanted what we did and were told no, you can only pay the bills with the machine, just imagine a bank that wont take money!!! C R A Z Y! so we went out, got a coffee, and change, back into the bank and paid both bills at the machine!

the day before in our local bank we had had trouble too, i was trying to tell the cashier the problems we were having with telefonica, a girl who was there before called them for me, this man looked at the telefonica bill and said "is this your address?" pointing at the address of the banco de andalucia in fuengirola??? i said er... no, its your bank down in fuengirola!! the phone rang, so of course he answered it even though he was dealing with me!! Pepe? are you never coming back to Alhaurin!!!!


now i cant remember if i have written this or not? and not being on line means i cant check... so... our telephone problem, as in being cut off just before Franco came over to England, because Telefonica had tried to take the money from our old bank account? i know this is a computer, but how can this keep happening? its stupid and ridiculous... these are things that shouldnt be happening in the 21st century any more! but then most things here are just the same! you dont appreciate the ease of paying bills by computer or in any bank at any time in England, banco de Andalusia for instance bill payments can only be done between 830am and 1030 Tuesday Wednesday and Thursday, and that's it! again, how ridiculous? and that old cherry over car registration, its free and just a case of sending off your part of the document back in blighty! they have just allowed Mijas pueblo to open their shops every day, all day! just allowed Mijas pueblo to be acknowledged as a tourist attraction! after what 30? 40? years... everything here is one step forward and at least 20 back, in years... the fun hasn't started yet on sorting out the house, being in both my Moms and my name, i expect by the end of it we will have nothing! and you cannot sell the house to pay the tax, and after 6 months the fines you incur are just go up and up! seeing the lawyer on tuesday to begin the end!

i have misplaced my rose tinted glasses as you can see, i dont know where i put them, and i may never wear them again...

thank goodness the sun is shining now, it came out at last last friday, we had had to odd little bit of sun interspersed with rain, but since friday its been sun all the way... back to heat, back to the wavering mirage along the road or on the beach, there is usually a breeze down here on the coast, so feels cooler in that for now, its more welcome when its really hot, when those of us inland only have the heat!

the tractor was out on the beach yesterday clearing some of the debris, and there is lots of it, tons of rubbish, bamboo, plastics and just plain junk! we were late walking pip yesterday evening and she was having a mad moment, running like crazy and i was flying along behind her, feet hardly touching the ground, then we were up to the rocks that were invisible 4 or 5 years ago, then up a grassy bank and off towards the back on mcdonalds! franco had picked up a near deflated foot ball which he and i kicked up the street, with pippa taking no notice of us at all! her main interest down here are the cats, so so many of them! just whisper the word 'gatito' and she is off like a rocket!

i was playing café world on facebook while i was in england, i got hooked a couple of days before i went over, and it might seem strange but it was something that kept my mind busy, or blank maybe? while i was there, the worry, the stress, the worry (again), was blanked out when i was playing that game, it was an addiction too, there were things you had to do and they had to be done at certain times or your restaurant was ruined!!! it was a distraction i needed then, and for me now, i dont need it, its something i can leave because i have other things i need to do just now... that and not having the internet too i guess ;-) so i have left the building, or at least the street, i have cancelled the app. not sure whats happened to me from others points of view... my little chef character might be asleep over a stove somewhere!!!

ok... its today now! copied and pasted above... sorry for any errors, want to be quick today... just had a chat with friend on skype, 11 years since her mom died, still wants to phone her... there is no hope for me then... its not a case of forgetting i know, but maybe i need to know its a case of this is how i will feel now, just a change of feelings... oh i dont know, i know nothing...

thank God the sun is shining... pippa is in the apartment alone... hope she has stopped barking, hate leaving her, but know i have to, there is another dog here today at the bar, she would have had company... me? i dont...

shadow and sun; so too our lives are made. yet think how great the sun, how small the shade...

adío amigos,
TTFN
Marian