Travelling Road

Of course at work, can't give exact locations, but flower photographs aplenty!

I know also I should be apologising again at my tardiness of writing, but I've been tired, long days, and well just not felt like writing... Maybe I'll improve! Lol!

I am in an exceedingly beautiful location, between Cheltenham and somewhere... In the Cotswolds...

Surrounded by amazing gardens and learning more about plants than I expected too!

I've made cherry preserve, and gooseberry jam!

At a nearby steam train station last weekend I saw two groups of five red arrows do a low fly by!

Last night a little muntjac deer in the garden... The evening before a friendly, can they be otherwise? Hedgehog passed by!

There are redkites being chased by swallows protecting their nests...

(A thousand million flies and spiders!) Not bothered!

The 2018 World Cup Football on TV, some good, some more like a wrestling match!!

My wonderful stay with my family starting to feel so long ago already...

The boardwalk...

Apologies once again, I really do not feel very talkative, seem to have had a bit of a relapse last few days! I don't know what to do, where to go, how to live anymore!

So, will just try and keep going I suppose...

A couple of photos from Atlantic City, I was a bit sad there actually; it has changed from when I was last there, with mom and my boys... The whole boardwalk was gloomy, so many casinos didn't seem to be open, there was no life there, it has always been buzzing the other times I have been there...

I think the highlight was two kids cycling past and shouting "high-fives" as they rode past and so I did... as had others in front of me... Two guys on a cherry picker type machine, checking posters up on the high advert boards were poised waiting for someone to move out of their way and after seeing so many people trying to sell rides on tricycles and things... I shouted up to them "How much for ride on this?" lol... one guy said 2 bucks the other 20!!

I've just checked, even the handprints of famous people have gone, they were, ironic! Actually at the Resorts Casino where we were, they had gone by 2013... I have a picture somewhere of my with my hands in Chers prints there, all gone.

Gambling wise, the ticket was 33 dollars and I got 25 back on a token card to use in the Resorts Casino, I won back a ticket worth 22 plus another three tickets, so got my 25 back, which paid for my lunch! Which was a great lunch in the Breadsticks restuarant in Resorts...

It was after lunch I walked up the boardwalk on my own, all the way up past the Tropicano, turns out I walked about four miles!! Was a great day, up and out early and back about 12 hours later, great day...

I'm ready for the off again, back to work, weather here in Spain seems to have perked up at last, after three months of on/off rain, its been nice... perfect weather actually, looks like the high winds continued after I left, the terrace was a mess.

I'm sorry, mind is blank and to save any unwanted chitter chatter, I'm concluding here, I will try to gather myself for more writing soon, its like there is just nothing, that would make sense to anyone else, because it certainly does not make sense to me!

Planting Fields Arboretum, Coe Hall, Oyster Bay

We went here Friday, a beautiful day with family, nice drive and lovely place to walk around, beautiful house and grounds

When we were leaving we met a couple of ladies sitting on a seat beneath the entranceway, we sat there also, in the shade to rest a while...

And my cousin asked if they wanted a photo taken of them together, they did, and we started chatting with them..

It turned out the younger, the daughter, was the lady who designed the map! At the entrance here to show and tell visitors what was where!

Amy, she is the lady who does all their advertising and they asked her to do the map! And there she was sat opposite it on the very day we were there and when we stopped at the seats!!

Add to the fact that her mom sat with her, lives near my cousin who spoke to her, and that's no where near here!!

Empire State Building - Day 3

Just...

Lots...

Of...

Photographs...

From here!!

New York - Day 2

Today, I was up and down early for breakfast, brought it back up to my room, I'd paid for a double room, no price difference than a single but more comfort, also meant I had a double breakfast!! Lol

And after eating, I stashed away the bottles of water and a muffin to eat with me! Camera and waist bag, and back pack!! Lol off I went! Turning right up 7th, all the way.. paused a while in Times Square...

Then, onwards and upwards! Reached Central Park and walked to the area where I scattered mom, it's a bit overgrown there, apart from the two trees where I scattered her about... They are neither overgrown or grown! Or even there anymore!! 

I could not believe it!

What the hell!!?!!

How bizarre is that!! If mom was alive she would be freaking out about this! Off all the tree's these young ones are gone!! Why....

So, I sat on the rock I also left her in.. I sat for a couple of hours and read, actually, one of her favourite books, she read it to me when I was a small child, maybe not the right thing? I don't know, but if fired up my imagination, and kind of links also to all the Egyptian books and stories I also heard..

Oh the book! Lol sorey!
She by H. Rider Haggard


I strolled then back out of the park and headed for Christopher Columbus!

And hence back down 6th Street... To a Burger place I wanted to visit!

All the way down... Down down down... To 19th Street! One helluva way... That day I walked 6.5 miles!!

So.. I reached the place the Burger & Lobster, absolutely wonderful! Great place!

After much time in there, and plenty of coffee to fuel my long walk back, I did!

By way of 5th Street and Madison Square Garden Park, where I sat and either read or people watched in equal measure!

Then I continued down and made my way across back to 7th and the hotel, where I collapsed! Happily!

Empire State of Mind - Day 1

Okay enough already!

I arrived into NYC, Tuesday morning, about 11:30am great flight, easy through immigration, straight out with my baggage and into a cab!

Zero conversation with the bullet proof glass between us! But got to the hotel quick and easy at that time of the morning.

Joined the check-in/check out line, and checked in! That took about ¾ of an hour!

But at 12 noon I had my keys and headed for my room.

I sorted my stuff out, and out I went, I walked down 7th across to 6th and stopped for coffee and a pastry... Continued down 6th to Greenwich Village and stopped in a friend's cousins tea room, but they were still serving lunch, so didn't stay.

I sat in a pretty little park there, the sun was really hot, one beautiful day... then I walked back up 7th and up aways past the hotel, turned around at some point, my body clock was telling me 10pm! But 4pm real time!

I bought some fresh deli food and took it back to my room... Ate and chatted on here... And went to bed!

More from Córdoba!

This was taken from a narrow alleyway that half the visitors were all trying to walk up and down at the same time! Leading to much confusion and photographs of unwanted persons! The confusion also I guess... that once up the allow into the pretty little plaza... no way out!! LOL

 
 Photographs above the massive monument lead towards the river and the beautiful Roman bridge originally built in the early 1st century... It crosses over the Guadalquivir river.

The Alcazar of the Christian Monarchs  above.. he stands guarding the entrance way...

Cordoba

Well, this could be a long post, apologies for being so lax in my writings...

I shall begin with my trip to Cordoba!

A coach party organised by a local charity shop in Coín and a friend invited me, and very grateful I am too! Having been several times to Granada and Seville I had never been to Cordoba!

This trip is every year at this time to visit the Patios Cordobas! The patios of Cordoba!

And extremely beautiful they were! My friend and I raced to the area in the city to see them and were quite lucky to be early in most of the lines to get in!

There was no charge, but you could donate, on your way out of each private house...

The wide angle below is inside one of the most spectacular buildings I have ever been in, which includes the Vatican, and the Coliseum!

The cathedral/mosque is truly amazing, it is one of the world's heritage sites and I would definitely go again.

We had an amazing day, and I'll post more photos tomorrow, I promise!!

Ultreya

Ultreya: Moving forward with courage.

I guess over the past couple of years, and esoecespec this last year, I have forgotten what my own Blog name means.

I may take several steps forward with courage, but many back in fear.

If I told you I apologize, but I am teafire a book I last read back in 2001, Shirley MacLaines The Camino, A pilgrimage of courage.

As I sit here now on the terrace, had to go to the social security office this morning, as always futile, have an appointment now for later today, great I get my healthcare here, only here, not in the UK by the way. Which is fine, but I applied for this in October last year... took papers into social security office, have waited over two months, still don't have the documentation... Been without any cover now since January, I think I will have to apply in August this year! It's idiotic that in the 21st century a simple email cannot be sent and printed out.

And I don't even know yet if he'll say it's going to be another two months!

I've had enough.

And so the journey continues.

Listening to music in my ears... Left my placement, spent a drunken night with a good friend, spent a day feeling icky! Got on a coach said "Bedford" ended up in Oxford!

On the approach to the bus station amongst those dreaming spires! And passing restaurants, passed the Franco Manca restaurant! That wasn't fun at all! I knew there were a couple in London, but didn't know or expect to see one suddenly there!

Then after a short but plain speaking argument with the driver, where he admitted he didn't hear me when I asked for my destination, bit odd that he charged me what he did think I asked for!! I had to disembark and reboard, but not pay again, which was good news, it not actually being my fault!

And okay I didn't check my ticket, I wouldn't normally, I didn't even wonder at the route really, I didn't know it! So, anyway, Tony collected me from Milton Keynes eventually, an hour and half later than I should have been in Bedford!

I've now had a good day with Tony, lovely weather yesterday, and we went to the movies, saw the new Marvel movie Avengers... In 4DX! Which meant moving seats, air blowing in faces and from behind, water spraying about! But the biggest thing was definitely the seats! Moving up and down left and right, taking punches in the back and rocking every which way! Sounds rough? It was a rough ride indeed, but l loved it! Lol now I'm on the train, going the right way for the right city, it's pouring with rain and the smell of diesel is overwhelming!

At Tonys I started watching a series called Happy, which is really good, just hoping now it's available in Spain too! Oh how could I forget I also spent time on Tony's Oculus Rift! Amazing as always! So I am buying the Oculus Go! Well why not, what does it matter eh...

Time has gone and I forgot I had made these notes, so only just now putting my Blog together! It's Saturday night, and had three wonderful days with Baz and family. Walked, been to the parks, to the city centre, and a couple of walk pasts of their soon to be new home.

Today especially the weather has been really warm, still 19°c out there and gone ten at night!

Hey friends, sorry, again! I've been here on placement for two weeks nearly, it's a good one, me being positive, talking lots, and good conversations... I actually don't want to leave!

We've been in the midst of April weather, the real deal, showers and sunshine... Like our lives... The stunning magnolia above...

And it's fallen few below....

Walking onto a nearby bridge this week to capture a phone signal!! Really please, 21st century and still black spots?!?

And this beauty was there in the grass verge! Gorgeous isn't it! I saw its leaves and thought tulip, but this flower head is extraordinary, once back in the house I checked it's name 'Sun lover' tulip, it's beautiful.

Not much else to say really; I ordered something on Amazon and inadvertently hit the 'Amazon Prime please' instead of the 'no thank you' with these apparently massive clumsy fingers of mine! I don't bother zooming out enough so I guess my finger was like a giant in the land of ants placing the order!

But, I've taken advantage of the free books offer thingy and chose a book I really shouldn't have 'Things we never said.' Don't get me wrong it's a wonderful book, I'm just not in the right place to read it, and maybe never would be. Maybe there never is a good time for some things...

So yes I'm reading it, crying with it...

It's been a difficult few weeks, I'm either feeling okay, or down in the depths of complete and utter sorrow.

I can't for confidentiality reasons say very much about work situations, but I have to say I was somewhere talking to a psychologist who had given a talk on one subject about our mental health after something! (Sorry!) But although it was not about grief it felt like it, and his answers gave me answers, or maybe more a way of thinking or realising that carrying the grief changes, maybe doesn't so much lesson, it's about learning to carry it differently.

But then we are all different, all see life differently, thankfully, and what works for one won't necessarily work for another.

Still, I'm glad I got to hear the talk.

I'm off from here on Sunday and headed across country and then north!

Sorry, I am here, not been very talkative.

Had the worse anniversary of my life, sorry mom... But Franco was with me for yours...

The day passed here at work strangely, very unreal, in fact don't call out the men in white coats, but when I'm this close to where we lived I feel Franco is actually there, and even just half hour ago I wondered if I ran off in the car to Britain Ferry if he might be there.. you know, in some bizarre other dimension.

I don't even like going in British supermarkets... Even ones he didn't go in, because they just remind me too much.

I leave here Sunday and onto the next one.
Two weeks then nearly a week in the uk, chilling! Before heading back to spain, Pippa is in her hokdida home anyway because of the May celebrations, and mammoth rocket explosions.

And well that's it folks!

One of the hardest lessons in life is letting go. Whether it’s guilt, anger, love, loss or betrayal. Change is never easy. We fight to hold and we fight to let go. — Unknown

Not many Blogs lately, too many words in my head, little I can express...

I am working soon, time with one customer in the cardifC area, which is good, and then back to where I was last.

My bag is packed, fur-baby has her normal pet care in place...

She knows I'm going, and before I go it I'll be back!

I haven't  slept well the last few nights, so not holding out much help for later, getting a lift to the airport, not having to worry about carparking which is good.

As you can tell, as you know... This is a difficult time now.

The open road.... It really is isn't it?

Yes, its been a while! I hadn't realised, been busy editing a book and just being....

I am going to begin with a dream I had last night, very symbolic... I was on land, and I had to cross a large expanse of water... I could see no land to my left or right... The water was frozen in parts, I knew I had to cross it, someone was with  me, a man I couldn't see, but I felt his strength.  I walked over the lake, even the parts with no ice, and I reached the land on the other side.

And it felt right... Telling me to brave the divide and take the risk...

I have kept on forgetting to publish these two photographs of Plaza Alta! How bare the square looks now, and so open!

And I was thinking yesterday, how in the year following my mom passing, for the two months I was with her, I read my own Blog up to when she died... I read it and re-read it, constantly for those two months stabbed those words into my very heart... Like a real blade, because believe me I felt real pain... As I am sure I would now, reading it again.

I have not, nor will I in the foreseeable future read this time last year. I think I would bleed, my heart held together now with hope and love and some hard as nails glue... Would shatter and I am deeply sorry for bleeding on the pages of my Blog... I am sorry I realise now how painful my words were for everyone travelling the road with me, family friends and unknown friends... but of course also, I couldn't have made it through without you...

This morning I visited our neighbor from Calahonda, had a good morning, coffee, Colacao! And good conversation... Went to Aki for some mastic and tile paint then home.

Then I suddenly got really tired, and went to bed for a nap!!!

I went out like a light, missed calls on house and mobile, I didn't hear them!! When I was almost waking up, yet holding onto sleep I felt like I could choose where I was, when I was even... It's a strange place, like a twilight zone! They, whoever they are, say we are at our most physic in that inbetween place... Of course normally an alarm is going off, and I wouldn't have had this experience, it's only when I nap, and there was no external noise to make me know where I was or when!

It's okay! I am okay!

Mijas Pueblo

This morning walking Pippa, in a break in the torrential rain... I pass as every day a tree now in bloom; over the past week more and more little pink buds have turned into flowers... This tree was full of bloom and returning leaves last March and April when Franco died...

This morning as I stopped beneath and looked up into its bare branches and small flowers I thought how life returns eternal... and that even if life cannot always be seen life force never leaves... I've always said this, always will say this because I will always feel this, that our energy lives on; with us when our bodies live, but our energy our souls, live on eternally afterwards... In what we have done, in where we have been, people we have loved and known, in the difference we have made in others lives even...

Mijas Pueblo

Yesterday was the eighth anniversary of my mom passing... Eight years.  Time continues on its merry way doesn't it, it doesn't care, it doesn't take away anything either, it doesn't take away the loss or the missing or the sadness.  It changes it, we have to change because we can't live with that degree of loss and continue to live.

Some days its like we can time-warp back, to that one moment where time stood still... because that one moment lasted forever, a big empty blackness of eternity for us, unable to see the eternity that had opened up for our lost loved one... I am again reminded of a sermon at a funeral of a dear friend, when the minister said... "Imagine our loved one on a boat, sailing away from us, from our coastline, headed out to the horizon, towards a setting sun (that bit I think I have added to my memory of it!) Well that vessel carrying them away from us is also carrying them towards a new horizon, where we lose sight of them, others get to see them again." And adding my extra shillings worth! I feel, that they travel to a new day, they travel with the light, not away from from it.... Away from us but towards others... past and future maybe even.

On the way to Coín yesterday about 10am

I should check when I last wrote... Okay, that seems like ages ago! February 24th... Yesterday I went to La Trocha with a neighbour, showed him where to park etc, walked around the quite empty underground parking lot, so much rain, so few people! We had a nice break in the weather yesterday...

We had coffee there, saw a few friends, everyone was outside in the outdoor bar, nice to be out and dry for a change!

From there we went to Mijas Pueblo, as he had missed the village a few times when they have been out previously.  He loved it, so now knows how to get there, where to park and where to take people!  Another coffee and boquerones fritos!

We have rain rain rain! I can't even remember when it started now! The skylight has been leaking since day one! The contractor is coming out to fix that! My U-bend has been leaking, but fixed now. Also the direction the wind has been blowing the rain, it has been coming in under the cap on the chimney, so a constant stream of rain water has been coming down the chimney to the wood burner! Unluckily its been making its way out of a small hole in the pipe near the connector into the burner itself! And into a bucket!! There is one more place the rain water has found its route through! The cave of course, as it would by nature with this amount of rain, it must have only happened about 3 or 4 times in all these years... Or maybe I don't remember... but its coming in through the cracks in the cave, making its way down as water does, gets into the cave, onto the tile then down onto the little patio and out through the drainage system!

And still it rains! But the worse thing has been the wind, gusts of up to 95 kph... about 60 mph, something like that... the roofing is trying to lift off, or at least it sounds like it! It is just giving into the wind, or the pressure of it I guess... It sounds like something dragging!

Still, the Pipster and I have been warm enough, had the burner going when we needed it, its much milder now, despite the rain and winds...

The worse thing is being marooned in the house! The worse day the electric started going off and on, and then just staying off!

I've had rain soaked clothes drying every day... Pippas towel constantly out! She only stopped one day, and went about 18 hours without 'going'!!! It was just to fierce outside!!