Well talking about positive thinking drawing things to you you want!

Was talking the other day, and I know I have mentioned the book I lost[loaned to a friend], Forever by Mildred Cram 1889-1985, well today, in the shop, I was demonstrating a problem we have with the way the books are placed at the moment there... I reached out without looking, held a book as if to pull out... looked back to see above books falling had I pulled out this one beneath.... and I had my hand on the above book! I couldn't believe it! I almost shouted, well I did do a sharp intake of breath! Unbelievable! My missing book, well not actually mine, but the same, and now I have it again, and this one wont be leaving my sight!

In case you wondered, well probably not, but the book is out of print... so getting another copy wasn't easy!

I actually wore a skirt today... Summer is here, although first friend I saw told me rain was expected today! And it did, but not much, and not for long... and afterwards, warm beautiful sun, was up on the terrace until half hour ago, watching the sun setting over the mountain... And it looks like sun for the rest of the week, maybe skirt again tomorrow!!

Had a meeting yesterday at work, it was day leaders, but I was asked to stand in for mine, then I ended up taking the minutes too! Pat said "can you take the minutes Marian?" I said, "what write?" Bit of an airhead moment I know, but funny none the less! Bit like Saturday with the locker key! Think I need to change the color of my hair!!! lol...

Funny walking Pippa in the dark again now... the birds don't seem to have noticed its dark though now... No, what I mean is, they were tweeting at the old 6:30am, but now, even at the new 7am, they're up and about making a racket!

Auntie Linda's funeral tomorrow, Wednesday 2pm BST.... Can't believe she has gone, so suddenly, seems unreal... And now I won't ever go back to where her and Mom lived....

Ok battery going, going to go now..

TTFN amigos
Marian

I'm a ding bat! I completely got the Euromillions results information wrong this morning! In my haste to see if we won, apart from seeing what we did win... not very much, by the way, I thought more people had won the jackpot than was true! It was only later adding it up, the way I thought the winnings had gone, it just didn't make any sense at all! All irrelevant of course, as it wasn't us!

At the Boardroom this morning we were a melancholy lot, thoughts of our plans for the 133 millions, dashed, momentarily.. The sun was having trouble pushing past the clouds hanging around! A drop of rain, just the one!

So much to remember this evening, lights out at 8:30pm around the world, for Earth Hour... Then clocks go forward an hour overnight!

Not sure if I will remember to actually do any of these things... I got all the way home this morning to find I still had the locker key to a locker in Mercadona! Great, I had their key, they had my duck eggs! So a couple of hours later, I headed back into town, to retrieve them! Only plus side was I was able to pick up a little more from the store I couldn't carry earlier, and stopped for té with two neighbours who were down at Bar Cruz, second visit of the day! This time, by the way, the sun was out, it had been for an hour or more, and stayed that way till now, its setting over the Sierra de las Nieves!

I watched a whole series on DVD today, Desperate Romantics, six episodes in all! Sounds like a long haul but it wasn't, it was brilliant, great to see in its entirety, I only watched bits of the first two episodes when it was out a couple of years ago, so glad to have got to see it now... I had a break for my trip to town this afternoon, and another hours break later on for some things I wanted to do.

Apart from leaving the duck eggs in Mercadona, I feel I am missing more...


"What we think, we become.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts, we make the world."

- The Buddha
TTFN
Marian

Above the Alcazaba in Malaga...

Thursday today, already! I don't know where this week has gone, flying into the past without pausing for the present! Only that's not true, with my new positive thinking, everyday has felt like a present!

Tuesday, work, cold, windy, little sun, we were all cold at the Boardroom before I left for work, and spent the morning shivering, we all did! Even the 11:30 coffee wasn't hot enough for any of us!

I'm not sure if this machine is on a go slow or is just too slow to keep up with me these days, not sure what I need to do to clean it up and get moving, I am clicking back to change things, or correct typos and the new stuff comes out in the completly wrong place! Arh!!!

Wednesday, yesterday, weather still not great, looked like rain, but three of us had plans at the coast, [well two of us, and our plans became plans for all three of us!] so after brief meeting at Bar Cruz, off we went! Down to Calahonda, small diversion on the way, and to El Zoco, coffees at the sports bar where I used to do my Blog last year when we were staying down at the coast, that awful machine, with that awful music, still makes my stomach churn hearing that tune.... Funny how a piece of music, a taste, a smell can be so evocative of a past memory, good or bad...

We were up and down all the stairs in El Zoco looking for a special shop... I had gone into it earlier, not realising it was the store we were looking for! Anyway, found it! Then my errand further up the road, we decided to walk there... felt a long way yesterday, and the road noise seemed so loud! I needed a code to get where I wanted to go, didn't have it, but luckily some kind person let me in! Then we went to a beach bar for some lunch, not too many people there, we sat inside, for obvious reasons [weather], the food was wonderful, beautiful glass of wine, and the three of us had a great time... Then we had to walk back for the car! Phew, I was exhausted, we were going to go to Iceland, but decided we would leave that for next week! Maybe minus the glass of red wine?

And to today! Hot, hot, everyone over dressed! Went with a friend to La Trocha, don't understand how that place stays open, hardly anyone in there! Supermarket empty, stalls only just opening, shops empty, or closed! Had coffee and apple strudel! The best apple strudel in the world!

Just checked out the weather for tomorrow, looking good folks, looking good!

[looks for a poem]Hate it when I am in poetic mood and cannot find the words I seek in... Oh coincidence, as I write this very bit, my youngest son's Twitter popped up on here... His words? he is talking about words! Just as I am right now! But this isn't helping me much is it! And I am giving up on the site I was looking at! and I will now have to leave you wanting!

TTFN
Marian

Duffy -- Syrup & Honey

Its a chilly day today! Was under-dressed this morning in town! Cold hands, and the rest! Luckily I had boots on, or my toes would have been blue too! I am still cold, in the house, think I shall have to go to bed early this evening, make camp in the bedroom!

Yesterday, La Trocha market, busy, lots of people selling, maybe some buying! Day was lovely, beautiful sunny, warm, a gift of a day.... It began with me at last seeing the 'super moon', although I hear it actually happens every 4 to 6 years by someone on Twitter, although the popular theory is it won't happen again until 2060! Well good job I got to see it this time round, I say....

Saturday evening, I was running up and down stairs to wait for it to make it to the town hall, I got to see it before it disappeared again, between neighbours house and the above! Ten o'clock finally... there it was! And I didn't have to climb up, yet again, on a wobbly plastic chair, looking like a loony bird!

But in the morning, better, for me than the night before, on the day of the equinox, there hovering above Las Deslcias... and El Dorado...

[to break into my thoughts, just now, listening to James Blunt, as I do, gone from a track I love, to another I love, but this second one is so sad, so thought provoking, I am having to play it again! Just to upset myself again!]

and El Dorado... [from previous paragraph], the Super Moon, I saw it first from the car park, then as Pip and I came round to the park, it was nearer the mountains and sinking so fast I stood and watched it, as it dipped down, filling the space where two mountains meet, the white glow, falling down between them, until it looked like a huge star, then, gone! As if it were never there...

Glad I got to see it...

I watched a movie I hadn't seen for over 25 years this afternoon, Cabaret... Fantastic, Liza Minnelli, all that time, and I still remember it almost word for word, I must have watched it many times when I had the video!

Been away again! Did you miss me! Had to fix something! Franco had got locked out of his email account! Fixed it!

An hour or so before I watched the movie, one of the women from work popped in, on her way into town for lunch, had a cup of coffee and a quick tour of the house, very quick of course, it being dolls house size!! And she bought me a beautiful bunch of flowers from her garden, the last of her freesias! Lovely... thank you...

Ok, too cold to type, going to make some dinner, oh.... the 105 million Euros in the Euromillion on Friday...? Our syndicate, won, a four figure amount, just those four figures had the decimal point after just two, and either way you look at it, that wasn't a lot!

TTFN mis amigos...
Marian

Tony Bennett and Billy Joel "New York State of Mind"

A year ago, it was Empire State of Mind for Mom... today, St Paddys Day.... Today, one of our favorites Tony Bennett... And New York State of Mind....

Today, replacing sad memories with glad ones... then my cousin called me to tell me Auntie Linda has passed away, in the early hours of this morning...

Marian

The photo above is the castle in the town, where my Italian Grand parents came from Quaglietta..


Well I am on a go slow here am I not! Been a week again nearly and saying so makes me feel like Groundhog day! I am repeating myself on each Blog!

Saturdays weather was wonderful, was hot sitting outside Bar Cruz, beautiful day... Sunday was a mix of sun and showers and now my Blog is turning into a weather report, and who wants to know what the weather has been? No one, just means I have run out of words...

Friday our syndicate won a little on the Euromillions, a very little, not even enough for another weeks lottery! And if we win the big one, Friday is 105 million Euros! I won't be mentioning it on here... I guess the things I say I have been doing might give my game away???

Sunday was quiet, just walked Pippa and did nothing much else actually! Monday down town, sat inside bad weather is all I shall say! Got soaked going to Mercadona after bar, it did stop by the time I got home, a friend was round for a cuppa, and about 2:30, a lightening flash and clap of thunder came together the power went off and the sky was black, my friend made a run for it to get back to hers.... she got wet! The rain came down in sheets, so heavily as I sat watching it from upstairs on the floor... with Pippa sat with me, the rain came down hit our street and was being forced up hill in waves by the pressure of more following it down! A stream of water was coming off our terrace like a hose pipe was on!

Then it was gone, and past....

And Tuesday beautiful, really is spring showers... Work was great, we had a very profitable morning, probably took more money in our store than any other in town! Then after work the five us were at one of their homes having a nice lunch, just out of town... lovely sat outside, but under a canopy thingy covered with flowers... they have a lovely garden with a small pagoda[?] with wonderful chimes, not those shrill ones, like we have! But a beautiful muted sound, deep and, well, just lovely!

She has beautiful cream fresias growing in the garden, of which she gave me a stem, they're in a small vase and smelling sweetly... amongst loads of other flowers and plants etc...

It has quite a lot of land and they're moved into town soon... bet they will miss their garden though, made me yearn for one again, grass, trees, flowers.... If we started digging our terrace the only things we would find are our bedrooms and bathroom!

Anyway, was a lovely couple of hours and was good to have a chance to talk and sit and relax without customers interfering!!!

Today, was lovely sat outside the bar, we were all over-dressed, which means tomorrow, we will all be under-dressed!!!

The last episode of Being Human has come and gone! Its a cult series, aparently, and I am missing it already, the third series, its about a warewolf, a vampire and a ghost, all sharing a house, well of course, why not!

Heroes, which I also love, has been gone for far too long, seems like well over a year... not sure when it finished... I just remember shouting at the tv when it did, as I wasn't expecting it!!

My Auntie Linda isn't well, she is in hospital, Watford General, oh what a familiar place to me that is.... She fell and broke her hip, she is 92, and not taking it well now, please say a prayer for her....

And on that note, Pippa is telling me its time for me to start my dinner! She is, honestly, she wines and nudges me to get up and go to the kitchen, she is a good time keeper! Just not a great conversationist!


Here is the deepest secret nobody knows (here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud And the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows Higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide) And this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart).

E E Cummings

TTFN
Marian

Been nearly a week since my last post... Not even sure why... ! Lets retrace my steps shall we!

Saturday, to town, of course, sat inside with friend, was a bit blowy out side! I had already picked up our syndicate winnings... not a lot, but we won, and that's the important thing... and once outside back into the lottery shop and friend also won! Way to go!!

Just realised I have a bite... the sort of weather for it, hope its not a mosquito bite! I have 'removed' two from the house in past two days! One was massive, he was hanging about in the bathroom waiting for me, but I saw him first!

Now I just need to not scratch the bite... I already have a flare up from eating something with MSG in it, although my face is telling me, I have eaten several things, that's the trouble, when I'm not having a flare up I can eat some things, that just have 'thickeners' or 'flavourings' or.. one of many 'other' words for MSG, I have definitely not eaten anything that actually says MSG, so I must have overdosed on one of the others... So of course that is my fault, and I am suffering, so itchy and stingy, eyes feel just the same!

Sunday, was a quiet day... just a bit of pottering about the place, after walking Pippa, of course!

I think Monday was 'normal', shall we say! and Tuesday was work as normal too! I gave back a book I had borrowed from a friend the Tuesday before, read it in a week, and now want my own copy...

I was already feeling lots more positive, after the bad Monday from a couple of weeks ago, but reading this book, has just so inspired me even more! A friend came round the other day, and I think she thought I was having a nervous breakdown! I was almost hysterical with happiness! Hopefully that's not the case.... But I have definitely turned myself about, regarding how I am feeling, about the way we're struggling just now, the huge death duty tax that has to be paid.... etc etc... Bills will get paid, in a year the tax will be paid, and my health is getting better, although I should be saying my health IS better! Just have to get rid of the rash again now!! ;-)

I am thinking happier thoughts now of Mom, knowing she is happy where she is now, as everyone has said, time and again, it took those 'again's' for me to hear you, thank you, you know who you are!

We had lots of rain yesterday, a friend and I went down to Fuengirola yesterday, did a few things we needed doing, and back home, was about 2:30pm, I was shattered! And soaked through!

I bought my usual Shredded Wheat, 5.11€... how much is it in England now! That sounds extortionate to me! Has wheat gone up that much! And 3 Cadbury's flakes for a euro.... haven't eaten any of them yet!

I have been cooking some strange things... dinner has been kind of normal, but so fed up with one plain yoghurt after another, there were the apple dumplings last week, this week, banana cake[!] apple crumble, apple thing with meringue... [I want to spell that Merangue, but spell check says I am wrong!!!]

Today I got to town, we were even sitting outside the bar, but then the rain started, so we went our separate ways... Me to Mercadona, to carry a too heavy bag back home, once again, that's the trouble with those little pull along baskets, pulling, and carrying are two different things! Of course they are!!

I also stopped off to buy some paint[???], we have had an area on a wall in our bedroom which is still badly stained from the terrible damp we had this time last year, when there had been rain from December to March! I must have painted over that area half a dozen times, and the paint just wouldn't stay there, sounds strange, it wasn't running down the wall, or evaporating! Just seemed to sink in and then disappear! As if by magic! So, after hearing another idea, that's what I am trying, coming at it from a completely different angle... I bought some spray paint, not because it was spray, but for the color... I have gone off on my own path here, should have been more of a silver color, aluminium really, but not Hammerite.... just that color, well I couldn't find any, and grey just didn't seem right!

So I have sprayed the area bronze.... looks more like gold at the moment! And so, for now, and for today and until tomorrow there is a load of bronze spray paint on our way, like some crazy has gone and put graffiti on the wall, no signature though!

Tomorrow I will paint the area white, to match the rest of the wall, of course, might take two coats, as the bronze is rather.... well bronzy!

If you know what I have done and why... that's cool, if you know why it will work.... Please, please tell me!

[of course, if it hasn't worked, you will hear about it for sure!]

I think that's me for today! Its so cold in here I can see my breath!

TTFN
Marian

One eskimO - "Amazing"

Well amigos, so the world has turned, a year has passed... I cannot believe it is so, I am writing this Thursday, yesterday. It is really today I feel it is a year ago since Mom passed away, it was Thursday March 4th... I feel I am reliving every hour from last year and its only mid afternoon so far... I bought Mom in some beautiful daffodils, in the shop it said two for one pound! I picked up two bunches, got to Moms by about 10am and realised there were two bunches in each packet! Can't remember now if I only paid for one or both, I remember the girl at the cash desk was confused as well! I bought some beautiful blackberries, well hoped they would be tasty, they were from Ecuador, and didn't taste like any blackberries I had ever tasted before, and not in a good way!

Anyway, I shan't repeat everything that I know I have already written from a year ago, or I shall go into melt down...

... and maybe I should leave this here, don't know what to do, feeling empty, and a lost little girl... my hand held out to be held and led...

Let me talk about today instead, as this is where I am now... let me drag myself here! This morning, felt cooler, and after last night which was also colder, was good to be out in the sun, then the cloud came over the Sierra de Mijas, and settled there while I was still out, I carried a few heavy things back from Mercadona, so that heated me up coming back up the hill! At the boardroom this morning, we had a couple of guests... A couple who live here from Liverpool, they know the road well where my Granddad was born in Rice Lane... Oh and I have more news too! What am I thinking! I am in such a sad place I nearly forgot to tell you fantastic news! To add to our growing family of newly found cousins in England, and here in Spain [wish they were nearer!], I have found more cousins in Canada, yep, me, I did it!! Felt like I was stalking the person first, on Twitter, an in-law of a cousin, then after a few weeks I gathered myself together and thought, might as well write to her, if she isn't in our family, then I am wasting time wondering if she is!!! So I sent an email, and she forwarded it to a cousin, and yes yes yes!!!! What an amazing ride since November last year, when I was found, thank you Emma and Ancestry.com

Moms last request to find the family.... I have, and am, fulfilling, something I really never believed I could ever do... I hope she knows, I believe she does, in fact, I think she has helped to make it happen! I mean, how else after all these years of trying????

Ok this is getting a bit mixed up and confusing, bit like how I feel just now...And I am trying to more positive, I really am, and is positively not helping...

So this is it for now, and I will copy and paste this tomorrow, no words tomorrow, only thoughts and prayers...

It is still Thursday and I have opened this up again to write some more... a friend who lives nearby called me quarter hour ago, and I went down to the bottom on my road, which meets the bottom of her road, she gave me a plateful of freshly made lasagne... I brought it home, plated it up, and enjoyed every wonderful mouthful of it! Thank you amiga... meals on wheels? Nope meals on foot I think... Funny we were both wearing our slippers, well fluffy boots, its colder today remember!I looked a bit dishevel'd, my hair a mess, and I think a hint of mascara a little further down my face than it should have been!

Pippa, of course, enjoyed some, but only a little!

I have been playing the Phantom of the Opera, for me, on behalf of Mom... Every single time I do play it, which actually hasn't been for quite a while, maybe six months, I can visualise Mom and I there, in Her Majesty's Theatre in London, our front row view from the Royal circle! Well where else would be have sat! Mom loved it, I loved it! And when I go and see the follow up, 'Love never dies'... I hope Mom is with me in spirit...

Anyway... after eating my lovely and so unexpected dinner, I turned back to here, to Tweet and fb, and to add to here of course, as I Tweeted though, the Tweet below was from 'Love Never Dies', which was a coincidence of course, as was the one that came up immediately after my Twitter, it was from Eurostar[Paris trip with Mom]... So yes, of course I follow them, so that's why their Tweets came up, but at that moment? While I am playing the CD? Oh ye of little faith!

Okay... I'm done! For now amigos... unless something else strange happens before I get to post this Blog in the morning of course???

Of course something did... A friend sent me this wonderful piece below... I have deleted all the quotes I had prepared earlier. They are nothing in comparison to this... I cried when I read it, and will again I know...

I will be surprised if you don't shed a tear....



If tomorrow starts without me,
And I'm not there to see;
If the sun should rise and find your eyes
All filled with tears for me;
I wish so much you wouldn't cry
The way you did today,
While thinking of the many things,
We didn't get to say.

I know how much you love me,
As much as I love you,
And each time you think of me,
I know you'll miss me too;
But when tomorrow starts without me,
Please try to understand,
That an angel came and called my name,
And took me by the hand,
And said my place was ready,
In heaven far above,
And that I'd have to leave behind
All those I dearly love.

But as I turned to walk away,
A tear fell from my eye,
For all my life, I'd always thought,
I didn't want to die.
I had so much to live for,
So much yet to do,
It seemed almost impossible,
That I was leaving you.

I thought of all the yesterdays,
The good ones and the bad,
I thought of all the love we shared,
And all the fun we had.
If I could relive yesterday,
Just even for a while,
I'd say good-bye and kiss you
And maybe see you smile.

But then I fully realized,
That this could never be,
For emptiness and memories,
Would take the place of me.
And when I thought of worldly things,
I might miss come tomorrow,
I thought of you and when I did,
My heart was filled with sorrow.
But when I walked through heaven's gates,
I felt so much at home.

When GOD looked down and smiled at me,
From His great golden throne,
He said "This is eternity,
And all I've promised you."
Today for life on earth is past,
But here it starts anew.
I promise no tomorrow,
But today will always last,
And since each day's the same way
There is no longing for the past.

But you have been so faithful,
So trusting and so true.
Though there were times you did some things,
You knew you shouldn't do.
But you have been forgiven,
And now at last you are free.
So won't you take my hand.
And share my life with me?

So when tomorrow starts without me,
Don't think we are far apart,
For every time you think of me,
I'm right here, in your heart.


And now it is tomorrow, March 4th, and I feel its Groundhog day, I feel today, as I felt yesterday, only its pouring outside, thunder and lightening, now that's Mom forsure! I am going to go out and get soaked through to the skin, have to get out of the house, Pippa and I got out after the 6am storm passed, got back in just before the next wave arrived!

Just after 8 this morning a friend from England called to talk to me, which was lovely... thanks mate...

ok.. going now.... before I ....

T*imeT*ide...FN
Marian

Michael Buble -- I Wanna Go Home f@

James Blunt - Stay The Night [OFFICIAL MUSIC VIDEO]

Above a pic of a cicada I took at some time! We were talking about them the other day at the Boardroom, they are unrelated to the grasshopper/locust, its another family altogether that's gone from my mind! But they are eaten all around the world... Not here, not in my kitchen... yet!!!

Its just gone 5pm, and is still wonderfully warm, hot even, up on the terrace, I had gone up to clear up some mess I had made earlier... and I pulled up a chair, and sat reading for a while, then I put the book down and day dreamed for a while, then started Blogging in my mind, and thought I better come back downstairs and do it for real.... so, lets get shnappy!

This morning I awoke suddenly and late! I'v been waking up almost an hour before the alarm, then just lightly till the alarm... I think it was the anti histamine I had taken, something I ate for dinner last night, has given me a bad rash on my neck, but they always make me so tired, so I woke up badly.... Anyway, went to town, and as the morning went on, I started to get a headache, and neck ache!

It was hot too, too hot for what I was wearing, trouble is when I leave the house you need something, then by 10am I was getting sun burn on my arm... and before long the sun had moved up above the bottom of the toldo and I was mostly in the shade!

When I arrived at Bar Cruz, the Boardroom table was taken! I sat in the middle one, and the two men at 'our' table said, no no, come over here, we're at your table!!!!! Well well well...... We obviously do have a reserved sign on it, even if only us and the locals can see it! muy bien!

Three of us were at the meeting today, and two welcome guests! The syndicate didn't win the Euromillions, again, this week... One friend was expecting someone else to come along, so I waited with him a while, but had to go in the end, I had taken a pain killer, and just wanted to get home...

I went into Mercadona for a few bits, and coming back past the bar, friend was still waiting.....

Once home, I didn't want to just do nothing, I wanted to try and get rid of the bad head and neck, so I baked a cake! Using two of the eggs aforementioned friend had given me, duck eggs! I made a strange cake, using a recipe, but changing a few things, adding others! So wasn't sure how long to bake for and the bottom came out a bit dark... But it tastes very nice, well Pippa and I think so anyway!!

Then while the cake was baking I prepared some meat balls for later, Pippa is annoying me now, she knows they're for dinner and made of mince, her favourite! I seem to be addicted to a yellow spice, my skin will turn yellow soon, if I marinade something before I go out in the morning, I find my hands are yellow once I am out of the house!!! Well I mean they are yellow in the house, I guess, just outside there is better light and I can see it!

Also while the cake is baking... I realised my head ache was gone, my neck ache better... So I put on a CD and was dancing away in the living room! I have always done this.... It was my bedroom when I was a kid, now its all over the house!! And I know I am not alone is doing this amigos!! You know who you are! I was listening to James Blunt, posted here somewhere! ...I know some people think he is depressing!! But I like music where you can actually understand the words, and I like the words he uses... so there it is! But the first one I listened to is the one I have put here before my Blog if it comes out like it should! It is a dance track... I know not every ones cup of tea, but it just does it for me, sends me back to my good old days of dancing the night away.... One friend and I used to go to a club, the dance floor empty, every one intimidated by the large expanse of empty space... except us! There we would be dancing away, and when I opened my eyes... the floor would be packed! Opened eyes yes! We both danced like that, I think, as it was just us, closed eyes, we probably both felt like we were just at home, and just relaxed into it...

Anyway, before I hit the floor again! Not! I think that's enough excitement for one day!

Not sure if its the heat, but I can even move my left leg better than I could the other weeks... Or all the positive thinking I am trying to do now.... After Monday, and getting as bad as I could get, I think, I am trying to think only positively, saying "I have been better" or richer! Someone told me negativity attracts negativity, so I am now only attracting positivity! As best I can, and yesterday I thought, wherever Mom is, she is not thinking about how bad it was for her a year ago, and I shouldn't either, I should only be thinking of all the good times, all the good memories, I know I am going to slip over the next few days, weeks, times in my life.... but Mom walks with me...

So! I watched Thunderbirds movie.... F.A.B. and all that! In between hanging washing, hand washing a blanket, and weeding! The latter was what I went up to clear just now...! The terrace is also washed and clean, looking lovely and red again now, that rubber paint is great!!!

Now to dinner, and the meat balls!

TTFN
Marian

Daft Punk - One More Time

I feel I should have written by now this week... I have having a bad bad week, in the mornings when I am out and about I seem to be keeping myself busy, and my mind thinking of other things, but back home, is another matter...

Monday when I got home, I felt so bad I didn't think I would even be able to get out on Tuesday morning for work, I was upset all afternoon, and getting really anxious and cross with Pippa, we seemed to have a coach party in the car park at the back which the neighbours dog, then Pip wanted to bark at!

I went for a nap, but couldn't really sleep, just felt worse, and I could feel my heart pounding so hard, I felt sick... Tuesday, of course, I did manage to get up, and get out for Pip's walk, and later to work... Although was a struggle there too, busier day, which was good, the sun was out, and so were the people...

Its one helluva beautiful day today, very warm, too many people in town today, and too many clothes on! I had left home with jacket, scarf and gloves on! Crazy that I am! So had to carry all those home, and tomorrow will wear a t-shirt!

I began a Memories page for Mom, around her Birthday back in January, Tony's idea... I have put up some photos, and yesterday I did a story also...

I just am so thankful for my friends in the mornings around our Boardroom table, the days would be very long without them... and for Pippa of course, even though I am snapping at her... a little my poor baby!

TTFN
Marian

The snow globe Mom and I were in... I wish I had had this shot with us in it from this distance, the photo I have of us close up is lovely, but I can remember us in here, above, jumping about throwing the snow, the up air draft thingys making the snow fly about as we did so... throwing handfuls of the stuff in the air...

We had such a great time, a fantastic memory, we followed this with a trip on the merry go round! I dragged Mom onto and inside the Cinderella carriage... It wasn't very comfy, but we waved at all the faces watching us go round!

Just saying to a friend whose Mom passed away four months ago... 'time is a great healer' isn't working for me, a week on Friday a year... I feel as wretched as the day... that day.

The wound is still open, and raw, and I ceaselessly pick away at it, I can't stop, and I don't want to stop. The week, the last day especially, the hug..... the tears, not mine, but seemed to be hers at the end...

Coming up the new road on Friday in the rental car, the first time I have driven the road myself, I said aloud "hey Mom, what do you think of the new road? Isn't it brilliant! make a wish!" I mean really... am I crazy or what? No don't answer that please... Although not sure which was worse, that I was talking aloud in the car to Mom, or that I told her to make a wish!!! We did that, you see, somewhere new, we made a wish....

Then on Saturday, after coming down the road with a friend I said "when Mom and I came up here yesterday......" then I realised what I had said! By her face mostly! I had so felt she was with me in the car!

This morning I was at La Trocha market and stopped at a bric-a-brac stall, there amongst the treasures[????] were two hand painted plates, two girls names, dates and places of birth, one in Chichester, one in Malaga, both early 80's, both had middle names of Muriel... Mom's name.... How strange, we could never find her names of anything, hard enough finding mine, especially spelled correctly, but never Muriel... And just now on a tv movie they were playing New York, New York... I guess the 'signs' I see everywhere, will be many and varied, over the next 11 days...

I better go now, I am not helping myself here, nor am I making anyone laugh... I don't feel very funny....

TTFN
Marian

Deftones - Drive (Cars Cover)

w

Me in Florence....

I know, I know, its been five days since my last post... I feel at the moment my only words would be about my Mom, the anniversary of her passing is looming like a big black cloud threatening to push me to my knees, and I don't even know if I will want to get up again after it... I shall be on my own most of the day, that's if I can bear to go out of the house even, if not I may just hole up in bed all day, phones off, tv off... I don't know.

So to what's past up to date then if I can lift myself up and out of this mood, Saturday was back to the vets, for Pippa's second anti infection jab, after her dewclaw loss... she really didn't want to go back, and I can understand her... I had to carry her a bit, but then couldn't, too heavy, and once in there was a huge amount of people, and it was a two hour wait to be seen, some of which sat next to a poor dog, that looked old, ill, and near its last days... the second two things are correct, I spoke with the man about the poor animal when his Mom was away, it was her dog, it hadn't been bitten by a mosquito but they had got into its system none the less and the four years old dog was so sick, it made me so sad... I cannot imagine not having my companion with me...

Anyway, eventually we went in, Pippa tried to make a bolt for the door on the way past, so dragging her through the door not a great entrance! She also didn't like having another jab and only half the fluid got in on the first try and the vet just seemed to jab at her to get the rest in... and not gently pinch her neck, the rest went in muscle on her poor little bottom! And as you can imagine she was not best pleased, and bleed profusely in the reception area afterwards, I went home looking like I had been in a massacre as my hands were both covered in blood!!! Back briefly though, her dewclaw had healed up very nicely, and what had been left of the bandage came off, nothing more put on, she had pulled most of it off in the morning while I was out, clever little thing! And I had taped some more on, which came off on the journey down, but she looked so funny, as she walked she kept shaking the leg with the loose bandage!!

Sunday Franco and I met up with some friends and took them to La Trocha market, they had never been before, we went around it once, then Franco took Pippa to vets, his turn! We went up stairs for coffee, then walked around once more and Franco came back.... after another coffee, we did a last turn of the market before heading off to the Moreno for some lunch... I was shattered, to say the least, agonising trying to keep walking for so long, anyway had some nice lunch, and the place was packed not room for another other people ten minutes after we arrived, people were hanging around like vultures, something I hate, it makes me eat slower, order more, and take s o m u c h more time......hovering over our tables and looking to see what we had left to eat!!!!

Then we were home, and had to go back out about 5pm, so it was a quick rest(!) And down to Fuengirola... and drizzle! Tuesdays rain had come early...

Monday? Monday.... San Valentino! A late Happy Valentines day to you all x

And yesterday came the rain, full tilt! I got soaked getting to the shop, I didn't want to carry spare shoes so wore normal boots which did nothing to keep the water out, both pairs of socks soaked through, so I went to get the coffee's, crossed Rio Cartáma to get them, we had free cakes which was nice! Then I went to the bank, and later back to the panadería for mas café con leché! So all in all, I just stayed wet through, I met up with friends later after work and thankfully got a lift home, and got straight into fluffy things to warm myself back up!

And not using my brain at all, my boots this morning were still damp, I think some crumpled newspaper may have helped! The socks were still wet too, and my coat!

Not down town for long today, we sat at a different table today, better placed if it started to rain, I had my BP done on the way home, much better today, so not sure if I should still see the doctor, about it... will see how it is tomorrow.

I'm glad I came home when I did, we had thunder, rain, rain, and more rain most of the afternoon... Luckily I kept the TV signal, but I was finishing a book I started only on Monday, 3096 days, written by a girl who was kidnapped and that was the amount of time she was held by the kidnapper... All the awful things he expected of her, the mind games, the beatings, and her eventual escape... A brilliant book I recommend.

Ok folks, I'm done, so many words and nothing said at all... That's sometimes how I feel.

TTFN
Marian

Me and my shadow..... Up on the terrace the other day that is! I was sat reading and looked at the wall to see myself shadowed there... Please note the attractive spiky bit of hair right at the top of my head! I didn't.... or it would not be there! There is no top to my hat, I chopped it off a few years ago, and it just sits around my head, keeping the sun off my face and out of my eyes....

I had just sat down to write earlier... when I could hear Pippa up on the stairs, she sounded strange so I went to investigate, she had almost, totally pulled off the nail she did the same thing to a couple of years ago! The dewclaw.... poor little thing, anyway so much blood I could see this wasn't going to heal itself, the last couple of weeks it had been bothering her and now it was.... well lets just say in a very bad state.

So I grabbed her, her passport, and money[of course] switched off anything I could think needed to be switched off, locked up and out we went to the vets.... I actually thought it would be closed so just went to the emergency bit on the side, a vet opened the door and said the main building...

[I'v been away again!]

So into main building and the same vet brought us straight through into an examination room, bypassing two people who were already seated and waiting!!!

He got the nail out cleanly, cleaned, bandaged and two injections for poor Pip!

Yes I was gone for another couple of hours there, and you never even noticed! My friend and neighbour popped in.... we had a sherry! oh how very la di da!

Trying to keep Pippa from tearing at her little red sock bandage now, and tomorrow have to take her back again, for it to be cleaned and more jabs... he is going to clip her nails too, and then next week its her parvo/rabies jab, which is already a month late...

On the way back from vets earlier we bumped into a friend from down the road, with their two dogs... his wife wasn't with them... she had fallen the other day while walking the dogs and broken her hip!!!! I will pop in to see her Monday or Tuesday poor girl!

Just before I go, Tony said today he may phone me over weekend, I think I have been left with a fear of him calling... he used to call to say something was wrong with my Mom... We do speak nearly everyday, on the computer, will be nice to have a normal happy conversation to break my fear.... When we're in the car too, Tony's alarm would go off if I undid my seatbelt too early.... now I wait till we have parked, whatever car I am in!!!!

TTFN amigos
Marian

Above Mijas... the Ermita de la Peña...

Franco and I were saying today, how the amount of records sold is now so much less than when we were younger, used to be a huge amount of sales to reach No. 1, now it seems so few.... I said sadly some of that must be down to illegal sales of music, either by download or copying... In 'the old days' you would never have seen some bloke open his big baggy coat and expose an amount of vinyl records hanging from his inside pocket! lol....

And talking of jacket's.... In the shop yesterday, my short amount of time in there that is, a beautiful jacket came in and I was pricing it up to hang in the shop... I said to one of the girls how lovely it was, and just the sort of type and color my Mom would have loved, the material was soft, the design, everything... I had it spread out on the counter thinking how it really was 'a Muriel' coat.... My friend said, well get it for her!!!! I said oh come on, you know I can't! and she said, well of course you can, just wrap it up carefully and post it to England in one of those bags... I said.... I can't ~ remember my Mom passed away nearly a year ago!!! The poor girl was beside herself! she had forgotten... I said if I could I would get myself small and into the pocket and post it off to my Mom... I don't know who was more upset...

Yesterday the doctor at the hospital gave me a prescription, something to take if my palpitations gone too bad only...I took the script into the farmacia this morning and they couldn't read his bad handwriting! I had to tell them what it was for to give them an idea.... well good luck to me then, think I might not take the medication, I don't have to...

A friend was MIA today from the Boardroom, without a pass! Hope he is all right... When one of us missing, we are very much noticed in our absence!

Just a short Blog today, from me, a short Blogger

TTFN
Marian